AN- So got home from work...I had coffee shouldn't have drank a large at 10pm...bad idea since I don't usually drink coffee. Then I watched a youtube video and cried a bit. (it was about Shay/Kelly) Anyways while I was watching I thought of this story. Leave a review and let me know if you guys think I should continue.

He felt like he couldn't breath, the doctor couldn't be right she wasn't gone. She couldn't be gone. He didn't move he didn't even know how to make himself breath. He couldn't go on without her he just couldn't live in a world that she wasn't there. He didn't know how his heart could break any worse then it was right now. Even though they hadn't been together and never would he had always known she was his soul mate. There was no way she could be gone now, there was no way this could be happening.

They had been through so much over the years, drug addictions, depressions, killers, and Psychos how could their story end like this? With her struggling to stay alive in the next room. He couldn't go see her; he couldn't look at her in that state. No he couldn't see her, he couldn't move. He couldn't breath.

His mind played everything over and over in his mind. What could he do now that she was gone there was no one else in this world that would care for him the way she had. She always knew if something happened at work were she could find him if he didn't return home. He could try and hide things from her but she knew him. She could read him like a book. She always said his eyes told everything, he had never heard that from anyone before.

"I'm sorry." The doctor said again. But he wasn't listening the man continued to talk and ask about family, but he couldn't bring himself to answer he couldn't bring himself to say anything that could help end her life. Her family would be the ones to say that they could let her go. They could make that decision to end her life. He knew he wouldn't get a say in anything. It broke his heart to know she had been part of his life this long now and he had no say in what to do for her now. He had no rights to know what she would want.

Always. That's what they were supposed to promise. They were always supposed to be there for each other, but she was breaking that promise she was leaving him. This didn't feel real she couldn't be leaving him now. Always. He could still hear her words echo in his mind, 'Just one that we, uh that we promise to be there for each other always. No matter what.' It was her rule she had made it and now here she was leaving him behind she wouldn't be there for him anymore. This couldn't be happening this wasn't real.

"No." he mumbled shaking his head as the other men crowded around from him. He could hear one of the men saying,

"Give him room."

Yet he couldn't be sure what man spoke. He didn't care he couldn't focus on them right now; he couldn't hear what they continued to talk about. He only thought of her, gone. No it couldn't be she couldn't be gone. His mind couldn't wrap around the idea that he would never see her smile again, that he would never open his arms and laugh as she ran into them for a hug.

In the past years since she had become his roommate they had become the most consistent people in each other's life. No matter what relationship they were in at the time they could always rely on each other when yet another partner let them down. How could this be how it ended? How could this be where everything came to? "No." he said again, "This isn't-" he stopped, "She isn't gone." He looked up at the doctor.

"I'm sorry." The Doctor said again and began explaining how she was gone in most senses of the word. While the machines kept her alive now her brain had taken to much damage from the beam. It was a wonder she held on as long as she had to make it to the hospital. They had tried to save her, but she was already to far gone by the time she made it there.

He closed his eyes and saw her smile again he heard her laugh echo through his mind. His heart was breaking knowing he would only see her like this behind his eyes. He wouldn't get to feel her in his arms again, he wouldn't be able to see her eyes, and he wouldn't hear her laugh. She was gone. She was gone.

"Does anyone know if she was married or has a boyfriend?" The doctor asked looking around. Which caused his head to snap up confused.

"No." Casey's voice broke through, "She didn't have any, she is-" he paused, "She was gay."

"There had to be someone." The doctor said his voice very careful, "We need to speak to him."

All the men turned to look at him his mind racing. Why would the doctor need to know if she had a man in her life? Finally his mind seemed to form words that made sense. That he meant to say and that didn't just fall out of his mouth. "She didn't like men, like Casey said, I would have known if there was a guy. I would have known." Yet he couldn't shake the feeling that she hadn't told him something. His mind flashed to just a few days before.

"Hey." She said as she walked down the stairs in her t-shit and shorts. He looked up from his cereal bowl.

"Hey." He frowned, as he looked her over, "You look like crap."

"I feel like crap." She smirked, "You're supposed to say I look beautiful no matter what."

"You do." He smiled at her, "You always do."

"Now you're just full of crap." She told him as she took his glass of orange juice and took a sip.

"Since when do you like orange juice?" he asked.

She frowned, "I don't know. All I know is I've been craving it all morning. Hopefully I can keep it down."

"Maybe your body is trying to tell you something." He told her. "Maybe you need more vitamin C or something."

"Maybe." She said shrugging her shoulders. "Anyways I should get ready for work."

"She would have told me." He said his mind still not fully wondering or caring why the doctor wanted to know. The doctor was saying more but he wasn't listening. His mind seemed to play in a loop again. She was gone. He was alone. He had no one. She was the only person he ever needed in life. They hadn't even been dating, just best friends. How could he live on without his best friend? How was it possible? He didn't know how this could be real and how she could really be gone.

"Kelly." Matt's voice broke through, "Do you know anything about this?" He looked up to his friend and saw the confusion on his face. He glanced around the room everyone seemed shocked as if they found out something that made no sense.

"What?" He was growing more confused. He didn't know any part of any conversation that had just happened. The doctor was looking at him, so was everyone else from the shift.

"Shay."

"She's dead." He said, "She's gone."

He saw the look in his friend's eyes. Matt knew he was in pain Matt knew he couldn't wrap his mind around what had happened only a few hours before.

"Yes." Matt said slowly, "But did he hear the doctor?"

He shook his head, what could Matt be getting at? Why would Matt need Kelly's input, there was nothing he could do now, he couldn't protect her. He had failed.

The doctor began to speak again, but he wasn't listening.

"Kelly!" Matt's voice said sternly, "You need to listen you need to hear this."

He turned his head to look at Kelly and the doctor. He saw the doctor had stopped talking his eyes on Kelly.

"It seems." The doctor said slowly, "After a few test, we found out she's pregnant."

"What?" Kelly asked, "But how?" he looked around at the other men, "What?"

Matt looked lost, "You know her best, did she say anything? Had she been acting any certain way."

"The orange juice." He whispered.

"What?" Matt asked.

"She drank orange juice, she hates it." He whispered, "But she said she craved it. How could I not see? She wasn't feeling well." He shook his head, "This doesn't make any sense." Then his mind remembered something from a few months ago. His heart felt like it dropped.

The two held each other up as they laughed. Too drunk to care about the hang over that was sure to come tomorrow. Both had come back from awful dates they had decided that the night should be a bust and went out to Molly's together to have a good time and see whose date had been the worst. Kelly had won. The two had stumbled into a cab together and some how between the two of them gotten the correct address recited to the cab driver. Now here they were back home. Laughing about god knows what. Everything was funny to them in the state they were in. They collapsed on the couch both taking in deep breaths. Shay put her head on his shoulder.

"We are going to end up alone." She sighed.

"Yup." He agreed. Shay laughed and playfully slapped his chest.

"You aren't supposed to agree with me, you're supposed to say I'm to beautiful to end up alone."

He turned his head to look at her as she looked up at him, "You're to beautiful to end up alone." His whispered to her as their eyes met.

"Has it ever crossed your mind?" she asked.

"What?" he asked

"Me."

"You?" he asked.

"Me."

"I don't-" before he could say anything more her lips met his. He froze for a moment. Yes this thought had crossed his mind, many times, but he never let it get in the way of their friend ship. He loved her he needed her in his life. He never wanted sex to mess that up, plus he never thought it crossed her mind. While she was beautiful and his type he knew that he himself was far from her type. He knew he shouldn't kiss her back, that they were simply to drunk for this, that rationally this thought would never have crossed her mind, that he wouldn't be allowing this if he was in the right state of mind, but he couldn't stop himself. He didn't want to. Before he knew it they had found their way to his bedroom. He knew in the morning they both would regret this because it was wrong, but right now it felt so good it felt so right.

He felt all the color drain from his face. "It can't be." He shook his head, "No."

"What?" Matt asked.

"We need to speak to the father." The doctor continued, "We need to let him know."

Kelly couldn't stop himself he couldn't stay strong anymore. "No." he felt the tears falling from his eyes. He couldn't even stand anymore. He let his back fall against the wall as he collapsed to the ground. He couldn't be strong anymore, he couldn't this day was the worst of his life. She had lied. She wasn't going to be there for him always. She left him alone. He was alone. "I should have known." The words fell out his mouth without even thinking, "I should have seen the signs I shouldn't have let her" he sobbed, "I should have protected her."