Disclaimer: "I do not own any of these characters. Pixar and Dreamworks do."
Kiome-Yasha: "Shameless Jarida fun in modern AU xD."
Drunken Vice
Hiccup and Rapunzel stood behind Jack who was struggling to get Merida up on her feet from the couch.
"Who knew Merida was such a lightweight," Rapunzel said with astonishment, "You wouldn't think she was."
Hiccup gave a nervous chuckle. "Guess not all Scottish folks can hold their liquor."
Eugene walked over to Rapunzel, and inspected the situation curiously with amusement. "You sure you can handle taking care of her, Jack?"
Merida giggled and added her weight against Jack's, almost knocking them over to the floor.
"I think I can handle it," he said between gritted teeth.
"Just no funny business you two," Eugene said with a wink.
Mavis, Astrid, and most of other Hiccup's childhood friends laughed in the other room from the idea. They were staying at a beach house they all managed to rent together. They had it for a week until Easter, a perfect time just to hang out and to party with drinks together. Things got out of hand though when Merida challenged Jack to beer pong. They were both sharp shooters, and the redhead was winning pretty well; but after her third drink, she could barely even contain herself.
"Ah coouulddd stillll play!" Merida declared happily.
Mavis frowned at the girl's behavior. "I'm worried, what if you get taken advantage of?"
Jack laughed with an evil grin. "If she does touch me, then I'll just find it as blackmail later."
"I wasn't talking about you, I was talking about Merida," she said.
He blushed slightly. "Why on earth would I do that?"
"Coz ye hae th' hotssss fur meeee!" Merida answered gleefully, "Come en Frosty boy, gezz me some of that iceeee!"
"Okay, that's it, you're going to bed," he lectured, picking her up over his shoulder in the process.
"Woah! Jackie boyyyy is actually strongggg!" she shouted in amazement, pumping her fists in the air.
Hiccup asked with concern, "You sure you don't need help?"
Jack waved his hand. "Nah, I got her. You guys just continue the game and have fun." He looked up at Merida over his shoulder. "Say goodnight, Merida."
"Hehehe, goodnecht Merida!" She giggled, waving goodbye to her friends.
"Be sure to sleep it off!" Astrid suggested aloud to the poor drunken girl.
Rapunzel stroked her hands nervously through her hair. "You guys sure those two will be okay on their own? I mean, they're not known in having the most stable relationship."
"Yeah, but they're still friends," Hiccup said, "They'll be fine."
Mavis giggled over how naive he was. "I don't think that's what Punzie meant, Hiccup. I mean, it's Jack and Merida. With those two, it's never just about friends. They got a "zing" going on, they just don't know it yet."
Tuffnutt groaned loudly, growing impatient. "Enough with the metaphors, can we just get on with the game already? I'm not even buzzed yet! I don't want to talk about how Jack is going to get laid all night!"
"Like Merida will even let a guy like Jack touch her," Ruffnut added under her breath.
Mavis shrugged with a smile. "Hey, you never know."
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Merida continued to give Jack a difficult time. She wiggled her butt any chance she could to annoy him. He grunted when her rear collided into face, causing him to slip her back down onto her feet when they reached her room.
"That's enough, princess. You're going to bed," he said.
Merida gave him puppy eyes. "Yoo're naeee gonnae tuck meee innnn?" she asked.
He lifted his eyebrow, intrigued by her request. "You act like you're three when you're drunk."
She sulked at his words. "Tuck me innn, or I'll kick yer crease!"
"That's more like the Merida I know," he said with a smile.
"Yoo're meannnnnn, finnnneeeee thennnnn, I'll jist tuck myself in," she said with a huff, already opening the door to leave him.
"Hey, hold on!" He grabbed her hand, stopping her from falling flat onto her face. "Not so fast there, Slingshot."
"Slingshot..." she repeated the nickname amongst a whisper. "Ye haven't called me that in ages," she said, gaining back a bit of her sober side.
"Well of course not, that's what I called you back when you were cute," he said, slowly guiding her towards the bed after closing the door.
She glared back at him. "Ye sayin' aam nae cute? Sorry aam nae Rapunzel!"
Jack sighed with annoyance. "Geez, your accent gets thicker by each second when you're drunk, not to mention sensitive. I barely understood ANY of that."
"Screw you! That's yer problem!" she shouted. "Ouch!" She then hit her knee into the bedpost, falling right back into his arms.
"Exactly, my problem," he said, "And it's best I put this little problem I have into bed."
She grinned from his play on words. "Ye sneaky devil." She rubbed her hands on her body and seductively made her way back towards the bed. "Ah knew ye wanted tae gie with ay thes."
Jack couldn't contain the abnormal rush of heat that started to spread across his body. Usually it was difficult to get his body feeling this hot, but as always, Merida had a knack in challenging the odds.
"Slingshot, you're drunk," he stated, "Now's not the time to make those types of jokes."
"Why? Coz they're true?" she asked, tilting her head with a flirtatious grin.
He wasn't amused by her tease. He glared at her, keeping himself quiet from answering-afraid of what he'll say.
"Awww, wa ye so serioos aw ay a sudden?" she asked with a pout, "Ah was only jokin'. Isn't that whit we always do?"
"Yeah...joking," he muttered, "This is different though, you're not yourself."
She started to slip off her bra from beneath her shirt. "'En hoo am Ah supposed tae be, Jack?"
He was too distracted by his thoughts to realize she was undressing herself. "You're supposed to be the girl who hates me. The girl who's not supposed to be my type, and yet...manages to pull every string in my body that makes me want to be closer to her. You honestly irritate me."
"An' ye frustrate me; sexually an' mentally," she added causally.
"Oh would you stop and just go to sleep!"
"Make me!" She threw her bra at his face, catching him off guard. She laughed at his flustered response towards the flimsy material. "Och calm doon, Frosty. it's jist mah bra."
He grabbed the undergarment, inspecting its size. "There's no way your breasts are that big." He lifted the cups and observed them on his own chest.
She fumed from his words. "Ah grew since Ah was sixteen, ye know! Ye jist never noticed them. Haur, tooch them! Get tae feel th' real deal yerself!"
He gave her a blank stare. "Stop trying to seduce me and just get to sleep already." She started to take off her pants, stirring heat inside him once more. "Merida!" he shouted in alarm.
"Geez, yoo're moore of a wimp than Hiccup when it comes tae girls, aren't ye? An' haur Ah thooght yoo're supposed tae be Mr. Cool," she said, feeling disappointed.
"Well, it's different with you," he admitted.
She threw her pants to the side, exposing her underwear that held cute faces of bears on them. The design stifled a chuckle out of Jack, but he instantly stopped when noticing the distance between them getting shorter. Merida was slowly making her way towards him, her body practically ready with only a t-shirt and a pair of undies keeping her decent. Jack froze when she reached forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Her breasts melted instantly into his skin through the thin layer of clothes, scorching his blood to a peak that was slowly becoming obvious.
"Ye makin' fin of mah underwear, Jack?" she asked, her lips dangerously brushing against his.
"Merida, you're drunk," he kept repeating, trying to convince himself—finding it to be the most reliable source of an excuse not to take her.
"Who said Ah was drunk?" she asked, "Whit if Ah was jist pretendin' sae Ah can get us aloyn?"
"Why would you even do that?" he inquired somberly, "We all know you hate me."
"Ah dornt hate ye, jack. Ye jist...annoy me. Everythin' ye do jist gits under mah skin. It's like when aam wi' ye, Ah can't control myself. Yoo're like an equal Ah never asked for, someone who knows how tae press mah buttons. Ah hate it, but it's coz aam afraid Ah love' it," she held him even closer, slowly adding pressure to his icy lips, "Yoo're cold, but in a way, yoo're home. Yoo're th' targit inside mah battlegroond that Ah jist can't seem tae hit."
Just then, she kissed him, slipping a warm caress of her tongue right into his gaping mouth. Jack's eyes widened from the aching rush of warmth she was transferring to him. She slipped her arms around his waist, keeping him close so he wouldn't escape. Her breasts fumbled from the friction she was creating between them, her nipples hardening quickly from the cold touch of his fingertips against her thighs. He reached around to grip her rear, earning a gasp from her. The sound enticed him, since it showed a vulnerability he never knew existed inside her. Their tongues hungrily overlapped each other, developing a strip of saliva to appear between them. Merida moaned from the fierce handle they had over each other, battling one another for dominance that was too hard to pass up. It was like ice melting into a hot pot of erotic flavors, mixing into a sensation that was too hard to resist.
Still, Jack just couldn't continue, not without losing himself completely inside her flames.
"Jack..." Merida whimpered pleadingly, needing his touch.
Jack bit his lip, and growled from the pressure she was putting him in.
"Do you hate me?" she suddenly asked, "Is that why you're trying to hold back?"
"What? Of course not...I'm just...confused."
She grabbed his hands and gently slipped them under her shirt, urging him to grope her. Jack mindlessly tweaked her breasts, finding them to have indeed matured over the years. He pinched her nipples, pulling on the elastic tissue of her tips in hopes of making her moan out his name. After all the teasing she did to him, it's the least he could do. His tongue watered though from the thought in tasting them, but knew it would be too far. They weren't ready for something like that, not when they were still stuff between them that needed to be said.
"Merida...I..." He shook his head, trying to collect his thoughts. "You know I never meant to tease you, or hurt you. It's just, you're a tough girl—one I never imagined I could break. It's one of the things I find...amazing about you. And you've really grown beautiful over the years; it's why I felt silly to even call you Slingshot anymore. God knows even Hiccup had a thing for you before him and Astrid hooked up. I was so jealous when he told me about his feelings for you, I couldn't even contain myself. And you know how I made myself better from it? By picking on you even more. I constantly wanted your attention. And the whole thing with me, and Rapunzel, that was never serious. Honestly, she's nothing but a sister to me. I just..." He stopped, realizing how much of a dork he was being. "Geez, look at me, you're making me sound like an idiot. You really are a pain."
"It's one out of mah mony gifts," she teased.
"I can't believe you tricked me in actually thinking you were drunk."
"Actually," She burped and fell back onto the bed, "Ah am."
"You're hopeless," he said, sighing with regret for ever falling for a girl like her.
" And yoo're annoyin'," she spat back, "Can't believe Ah made ye tooch me."
"Oh but you liked it," he said, crawling on top of her.
She blushed and turned her face away from his incoming kiss. "No Ah didn't!"
"Oh really?" He started nipped at her neck, sucking tenderly on the sensitive flesh that pulsed wildly from his hold.
Merida flushed, hating the idea of losing to him.
"Now admit it," he said, lifting his face above hers, "You liked it."
She frowned and huffed in defeat. "Fine, so whit if Ah did? Doesn't mean Ah can't get revenge." Once she said that, she was already gripping his erection.
She shifted his shaft between the fabrics of his pants, earning a masculine groan out of his chest.
"Aww, ye purr like a kitten," she said.
"Shut up," he countered, cheeks completely red, "And you squeak like a bunny."
"Ye better keep that tae yerself," she warned.
"Merida, it's me you're talking to. We're all about the blackmail, but just this once, this is something I rather keep to myself."
She smiled from his answer, her eyes slowly getting heavy from the booze inside her system.
Jack's grin faltered a bit. "You'll probably forget half of the stuff we just did and talked about just now."
"No Ah won't," she said, "Aam not THAT drunk."
"Either way, better get back to the others before they start getting the wrong idea with me taking so long," he suggested.
"But we ur doing the wrong idea," she said with a sly grin.
He smacked her with a pillow that was nearby. "Just go to sleep, or I'll change my mind and make you stay up instead."
She glared at him and hit her head onto the mattress, pulling the covers over her body for warmth.
Jack pulled a small garbage can near her bedside. "Here, in case you feel like vomiting."
"Thanks," she muttered, already drifting to sleep," But can ye actually stay?"
"Huh?"
"Sleep wi' me tonight," she continued, "Without thy funay business."
"Well, never expected to hear that from you," he said, smiling coyly, "You sure your hair won't eat me alive if I lay next to you?"
"Jist gie under th' sheets before Ah change mah mind," she impatiently said.
"Yes, your Highness." He slipped off his shoes and got under the covers with her, casually wrapping his arms around her waist. "You know the guys will be talking about this in the morning."
She snuggled into his cold body, balancing it with her warmth. "Lit them talk. I'll beat them up if they say anythin'. An' if ye say anythin', i'll beat ye up as well."
He kissed her forehead, chuckling softly at her threat. "Wouldn't dream of it."
They both slowly fell asleep, erasing any grudge they had against each other for the rest of the night. They were the package of a new beginning that was always going to be a mess-and for them, it was all Jack could ever ask for.
End