Note: Hey, I'm Dandi, and this is my first fanfic. It's probably gonna need some work, so let me know how it sounds!

Kinda goes without sayin, but I don't own SP... the one or two characters I throw in are just for fun.

Just in case it's not clear in the story, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, and some of the other Coon and Friends are in college together. Oh and by the way, all their powers are legit. Stan, Kyle, Cartman...they all actually have superpowers.

BANG!

Crap. I died again. I opened my eyes and found myself face down on the dirty brown carpet covering our dorm's floor. Wait. Never mind. I roled over, pulling up my boxers. I noticed the other guys were still asleep. Kyle, snoring like always in the corner, with his ankles dangling off the bed, clutching the worn Terrance doll that he's had since fourth grade.

Stan on the bottom bunk, sprawled on his stomach and drooling. I must have fallen out of the top bunk, again.

Dammit. I gotta switch bunks with Stan. This is getting old. But at least I get my own mattress this time.

Just then, the alarm clock on Kyle's bed jarred everyone else awake.

"Hey Kenny, whatcha doing on the floor?" said Stan, rubbing his eyes.

"Uh, just dropped my phone. Let's go to breakfast. My first class isn't till 11."

Kyle frowned and says, "Well, I gotta go to the library. I've got a genetics test tomorrow."

Stan gave him a friendly punch in the arm. "What's this? You don't have time for your crew anymore? Aw, well when you're a big rich-ass doctor, you're gonna wish you were still hanging out with us losers!"

Kyle punched him back, "No way, man. We've been through some crazy shit together. You know you guys are my best friends."

As Stan and I trudged out the door, I called to Kyle, "We're still on for tonight, right?"

"Yeah, bro. 9 o clock."

On our way to the dining hall, Stan's silence was a heavy weight. He walked 5 feet behind me, dragging his feet a little, like his backpack weighed more than he did. What's with the mood swing? I thought. I grabbed like, 10 pancakes off the breakfast line, some sausage links, bacon, eggs, and home fries. When no one's looking, I snagged a bagel to give to Kyle later.

I sat down across from Stan. He slouched, staring at his waffle. Come on. What's with the drama queen act?

"Dude, what's eating you? It's like you're PMS-ing or something."

He sighed, "It's been a year since the Coon…you know…do you think he's planning something?"

Oh. Right.

One year ago, our former friend Eric Cartman, also known as the supervillian the Coon, escaped from prison. When we first discovered our superhero abilities ten years back in fourth grade, Cartman's powers of regeneration and enhanced intelligence were very unstable, and he became corrupted by the power he possessed. He turned on us, blowing up our secret base. From then on, he became our enemy. Through the years, he became more and more twisted. Though there was probably little humanity left in the Coon's soul, Stan clung to the hope that he'd come back and we could just, you know, go back to how things used to be.

I thought that was bullshit.

"Stan. We can't live like this. Cartman is gone. He's never coming back. The Coon took over, and there's nothing we can do except to throw his fat ass back in prison."

"Yeah, but…aw, screw this. I have to go to class. See you tonight." He picked up his messenger bag, dumped his plate, and walked out.

I couldn't help but feel for him just a bit. I put my fork down, then picked it back up.

Damn, these pancakes are good.