Chapter 1: Shepard's Surrender
Commander Shepard lies on the bed in his cabin on the Cerberus star ship, Normandy. Yet another sleep cycle had been spent tossing and turning, his mind denying him the bliss of sleep. The loneliness of command and the impossible burden of his cursed destiny bite deeply into his soul.
He could still feel the Reapers staring into his mind from the abyss, but it was a two-way connection and he could stare right back at them as well. Shepard's mind perceived a form of disconnect within the Reaper intelligence. Could it be a possible chink in the armour, a target of opportunity or an illusion? Were his attempts at insight just another form of the Reaper attack aimed at slowly eroding his will and resistance?
Shepard rises from the bed, rubs his scalp with his hands and starts his wake up stretching routine. His sleep deprived body aches, his muscles tired and sore and there's tension in his back causing knots that he could not quite shift in his spine and shoulders. He flexes and stretches and his muscles reluctantly start to release some of their tension. The cabin is lit only by the nightlight of an aquarium and he does some light shadow boxing but starts to build up a bit of a sweat much sooner than normal due to his fatigued and stressed state.
The beep of an incoming message alert interrupts his exercise. The pleasant voice of his assistant, Kelly Chambers rings out "Commander Shepard I have received a secure flash traffic message from the Council."
"Thanks Kelly, Pass it through to the terminal in my cabin." he replies. He walks towards his terminal and opens the flash traffic message.
"Spectre Shepard
The council has received disturbing reports on your actions in Batarian space. You are ordered to report to the citadel to explain your actions immediately, by order of the Galactic Council.
He turns and his eyes catch on the sight of his pet hamster, Boo, playing in its cage. The tiny animal running full speed on its treadmill causing it to spin furiously. "Well Boo, looks like I'm not the only one on this ship that's stuck on a treadmill. Doomed to run as fast as I can but making no progress forward."
Upon hearing his voice the tiny rodent stops its running and the treadmill comes to a halt. It shakes itself and looks up at Shepard with a gimlet eye. "Squeak" it exclaims as if in answer to the human's statement.
Shepard laughs, "Yeah Boo, I just wish I could exit my treadmill as easily" and with that he operates the feed dispenser on the cage, releasing some seeds and nuts into the trough. The hamster scurries towards it, proceeds to fill its tiny mouth pouches then retires to its nest to gorge upon the treats. Shepard raises his hand to offer a mock salute to his pet. Again, he stretches his tired body; vainly trying to relieve the knots of tension within him, grabs a soft robe then exits his cabin. With a couple of strides he enters the elevator and descends towards the Normandy's command deck. He steps out the elevator only to be confronted with the smiling face of Kelly standing with a steaming mug of coffee in her hands.
Kelly Chambers reads the flash traffic message from the council and swears slightly under her breath. She had originally intended to allow the commander the luxury of waking himself naturally and allow him some decent rest. Shepard pushed himself too hard in her opinion and she knew that could get damaging if not acted upon in time. Still the emphatic message left no room for misunderstanding. Shepard's relationship with the council was a strained one at best. Flying under the banner of Cerberus and the circumstances of his being brought back from the dead were major issues with certain council members, they would not appreciate any delay.
She signals the commander's cabin and hears that he was already awake. "Damn, he's not sleeping enough" she says under her breath. She listens to his tone and hears the tiredness and strain in the voice. Shepard probably wouldn't admit to himself but he needed some rest. Maybe the Citadel would offer the opportunity for some R&R for all the crew? All Gods know the crew certainly needed some downtime. They hadn't rested since the Collector base assault from a couple of weeks in the past. She shudders at the memory and forces it from her mind unwilling to return to the hell that so very nearly claimed her life. Kelly closes her terminal and goes to prepare the commander his favourite wake up shot of caffeine. She returns with immaculate timing, arriving at the elevator seconds before the doors opened to announce Shepard's arrival
"Welcome Commander, hope you slept well" she says brightly and hands him the hot beverage.
"Not as well as I would have liked, Kelly, Feel a bit beat this morning" He takes a sip of the flavoursome drink "Ah, that's some mighty fine coffee Kelly, really hits the spot." He raises a toast to her with a mocking smile in his eyes.
Kelly laughs, "Anytime Commander, Is there anything else you require?" She strikes a playfully seductive pose for his benefit.
He looks her up and down quite deliberately with a flirtatious grin that causes Kelly's eyes to glint. "Not at the moment, thank you."
Kelly returns his grin with a similar one of her own before turning and walking away swaying her hips in an undeniably seductive way. She hears Shepard chuckle to himself as he watches her little show and she smiles, her green eyes flashing. Kelly knew there was a strong physical attraction between them, which the two of them expressed through flirtation, innuendo, and secret glances. She knew instinctively that Shepard was attracted by her undeniable physical charms and vibrant personality, just as she was to his charismatic masculinity. They had even shared a meal together and she had hoped that they would become more intimate. He was all Man, a paragon of his species, possessing a warrior's strength but with the compassion and integrity of a saint.
Her feelings for him had grown after her abduction by the Collectors and her experiences on the Collector base. Shepard had saved her from a fate worse than death and had also been there for her afterwards, nursing her through the trauma. She was seriously ill as her mind fought to quell the terrible memories of the horrors she had witnessed. Shepard's strength, affection and respect for her had pulled her back from the brink of madness and had sheltered her ever since. He had used his will to command her back from herself without words and in doing so saved her life and her sanity. It wasn't desire she felt now; it wasn't even that she loved him, though she did completely. It was something far more profound and deep and spiritual.
Kelly watches Shepard as he reads through some reports and issues instructions to set a course for the Citadel. She knows every feature of Shepard's face by heart and could read his body language expertly. Fatigue and stress written into his face with deep lines and his eyes were haunted. There were dark heavy shadows below his eyes and a very faint twitch on his right eyelid. His stride looked heavy and flat-footed as he walked back to the elevator, he certainly didn't move with his usual grace and power. He looks more than tired to her, more as if he is ready to crack.
Her face assumes a definite expression as she makes a decision, logs out of her terminal and walks quickly towards the Normandy's flight deck. She sees the pilot Flight Lieutenant Jeff Morreau lounging back on his flight chair. He was having another of the oh so familiar arguments with the ship's Artificial Intelligence known by all as EDI. No one except EDI called him Jeff, he was known to all as Joker in reference to his rather cynical dour nature as a cadet, though he had started to lighten up a bit after joining the Normandy's crew. He suffered from a horrendous medical condition that made his bones brittle as the most fragile glass, and could suffer crippling injuries easily. His birth was a miracle in itself, but how he survived to this date was outstanding and indicted a natural lust for life and will to survive.
He was also the best damn star ship pilot in human history, in his own mind at least but none of the crew would argue with the statement. He certainly could make the Normandy dance on a pin and had developed an almost symbiotic bond with the ship, the perfect man/machine interface. Especially since he had released the shackles that had previously restricted the ship's AI, EDI. Since then though theirs had been a rather strange relationship. They argued and bantered with each other like husband and wife and it was a source of gentle humour in the crew, but also very touching. Kelly overhears their current debate; it was regarding the order from Shepard to change course to the citadel. They were disagreeing about it when Kelly walks in
"I'm telling you EDI, he wouldn't appreciate any delays. If he hadn't blown that relay the Reapers would be here already. Every second counts at this stage, it could be the last. We'd best get there as fast as we can"
"You are wrong Jeff, I have been monitoring Shepard's condition and he needs rest not further stress. I recommend that we delay the order to traverse to the citadel."
"What disobey a direct order? It's ok for you, you're his ship. I'm just here keeping the seat warm for the next guy. Shepard could fire my ass, he's stuck with you"
Kelly interrupts them "Hey guys, what's up?"
Joker replies "Oh nothing much Kelly, just EDI wanting to exercise her new mothering instinct. Shepard ordered us to get our ass in gear and get to the Citadel as fast as possible. EDI thinks we should delay that order"
Kelly says "EDI's right, that's why I'm here. Shepard's on the edge of collapse and needs a couple of days recharge at least. Is there any way you can delay the order and cover your ass at the same time?"
Joker replies, "There's no way that I can think of that he wouldn't see through. He knows every inch of this ship, no way could I pull the wool over his eyes without getting spanked for it"
EDI states, "You are wrong Jeff, There are many things that could effect a delay." Suddenly there was a shuddering through the hull of the ship and a slight dimming of the lights."
Joker cries out "EDI what the hell just happened?"
EDI replies "I simulated a spike in my main Tantalus core to indicate a possible core malfunction. We will have no choice but to fully vent the core and perform stress analysis testing before powering up for Relay travel."
Joker "What the hell? You think playing around with the main engines in flight is a good idea? If you're going to pull a stunt like that give me some warning at least. Cerberus didn't build enough laundry facilities in the design of this ship for too many repeat performances if that little trick"
Shepard's voice comes through the communication channel "Joker is everything OK with the ship?"
Joker replies stalling for time "Can't say for sure commander, there seems to have been a spike in the main core. EDI's performing some tests but there's only so much we can do in flight. Early tests suggest possible cradle fatigue or other malfunction on the core. Wouldn't recommend a relay jump without some further checks but that requires a full venting to discharge the core and that would take time."
Shepard asks "EDI what's your analysis?"
EDI " My analysis shows there was a brief spike in the Tantalus core caused by a fluctuation in the Element Zero field. Analysis indicates probable cause as volatile compounds within the Eezo fuel itself and not a core malfunction. The cradle has been knocked out of alignment and is currently 3 degrees from optimal. Within operational parameters but may suggest a clamp failure or that the cradle itself has been bent or moved. We risk a possibly catastrophic total drive failure if there is further movement."
Shepard asks Joker, "How long would we be off line?"
Joker looks at Kelly and raises his eyebrows for her answer, she mouths silently "Two or three days"
Joker answers the commander "I'm guessing a minimum of 2 days Shepard. Will need to vent the core and the nearest charted planet with the capability is several hours away. Currently we're at the opposite end of the system to the planet's orbit. After that depends on the results of the inspection tests. It's your call Shepard"
Shepard is silent for couple of seconds "No need risking the Normandy without good reason. We'll head to that planet and we'll do some tests. Signal the Citadel of our situation and inform Alliance command also. We'll use the time to do some maintenance and we'll allow ourselves the opportunity for some light R and R. Take us to the planet and we'll take it from there."
The signal cuts and Kelly smiles "Thanks EDI you're the best" She bends down and kisses Joker lightly on the cheek and gently places her hand on his shoulder, "You too Joker" and turns to walk out the flight deck heading for her cabin in the deck below.
Kelly collects some things from her locker and places them in a small handbag before leaving the cabin and taking the elevator to the commander's cabin. In a couple of strides she exits the elevator and stands before the door to the cabin. She is just about to signal the commander when she hears the faint sounds and vibrations of flowing water and the louder sounds of music and Shepard's voice. She laughs to herself as she recognises that Shepard is in fact singing, rather badly in her opinion. His voice is pleasant but he strains to hit the higher notes of the particular song he chose to express himself with.
Kelly selects her COM link and sends a message through to the commander's cabin. "Commander I have something urgent to discuss with you. Do you have a moment?" She listens at the door to the faint sounds of Shepard leaving the shower, turning down the music and answering her message signal.
"Of Course Kelly, I'll be down momentarily" and she hears the volume of the music increase again, swiftly joined by the dulcet tones of Shepard struggling with the chorus.
"Not if I can help it," she thinks to herself as she inputs her override code for the locked door and enters the cabin. She is confronted with the sight of Shepard dancing and singing with only a towel to protect his modesty. The look on his face was priceless in Kelly's opinion and she is unable to contain her laughter.
"What are you doing here, Kelly?" he asks
Kelly straightens herself and says with a note of challenge in her voice "Well commander as you know one of my roles is to look after the mental well-being of the crew. I have to use my skills and judgement and recommend a possible course of treatment. In my professional opinion you have been showing increased levels of stress and tension recently. It was very apparent earlier in the CIC and I felt that therapy was required post haste."
Shepard looks at her bemused "Therapy? I don't understand you Kelly. I'm fine just slightly tired."
Kelly laughs scornfully, "Respectfully commander you're talking bullshit. Your body language indicates more than just stiffness and tiredness to my eyes and you had the demeanour of a condemned man earlier. I must insist that you allow treatment to be administered. You need a massage at least and its good that you're already dressed for it in any case." She says glancing at the rather skimpy towel he was wearing.
She assumes a more commanding tone "Now Commander lie on that bed facedown and we shall begin. I would prefer you went voluntarily, I do not want to employ measures to force you."
Shepard laughs as he looks at the slight form of Kelly. "I don't know how you could accomplish that one Kelly" his eyes running a glance at his powerfully muscled physique.
Kelly mocks him "Oh that type of force is not what I have in mind to convince you. I recorded your little stage performance commander. I think it would do wonders for crew morale if I was to broadcast it on a loop until we reach the citadel at least."
Shepard raises his hands in mock surrender, his eyes dancing with mirth. "OK Kelly, you win. Just be gentle on a condemned man"
Kelly's laughter rings round the cabin, "OK but allow me to choose the music to something more therapeutic, well to my ears at least."
Shepard lies face down on the bed resting his head on his folded arms and watches Kelly select some gentle, ambient music with a languid and relaxing mood. She reaches into her handbag and removes a set of fragrant oils, spreads a generous amount on her hands and gently rubs them to warm the oil then starts to knead the tired muscles of the commander. Her hands and fingers are strong and she is of accomplished skill. In no time at all she starts releasing the knots of tension in his muscles with confident probes of her fingers, palms and fists. Kelly changes position and moves to sit astride Shepard, using both her hands to manipulate his powerful shoulders. Her hands fall into a languid rhythm and she feels the effect of her manipulation in his subtle growls of pleasure and through her fingers. Unconsciously her body betrays her with small sensual movements and unconscious sighs as gentle waves of arousal run through her, her body responding to the powerful physical masculinity of the commander and her touch becomes more teasing than probing.
Shepard turns towards her and Kelly feels his body's response between her thighs and her movements become more sensual. She looks deep in his warm, brown eyes and sees his submission to her. She senses his acceptance of her desire to have the control, his eyes telling her to use him as she sees fit. He whispers and breathes in her ear telling her that he was hers.
Her lips move to kiss him, he opens his mouth to receive the kiss and she moans when his tongue starts to probe her with delicious thrusts. Kelly disengages from the embrace and stands looking at him with hooded eyes and an impishly seductive grin on her lips. Shepard makes to release the fasteners of her lower uniform but she stops him and with a languid, erotic dance, Kelly starts to remove her clothing in teasingly controlled movements; her eyes fix on Shepard's and his gaze drinks in her slowly revealing nakedness. His eyes telling her of his worship for her femininity and she feels her heat rise at the tenderness and adoration contained within his dark orbs.
Kelly runs her hands over her body and she starts to touch her more intimate areas. She stares at him with a look of command in her eyes. Shepard stands and embraces her tenderly. He reaches for one of her fragrant oils and drenches his hands with it. Softly he spreads the oil over her naked flesh, taking his time to cover every inch of her body. Shepard's fingers softly tease her nipples, then they descend over her tightening stomach until they had reach the mound of her intimacy. His eyes never leave Kelly's as he conveys his adoration for her through his touch. His gaze telling her he was at her disposal, that the roles were reversed, asking her to command and direct him to fulfilling her desires.
Shepard guides her onto the bed looks at her with a glint in his eyes that sends sparks right through Kelly. Kelly is pinned unable to even blink as Shepard slowly and tenderly enters her. He starts to move with slow, gentle but firm strokes. He thrusts into her and then withdraws fully, each time he did so she feels herself stretch wider to reclaim him. She feels the tension rising through him as his strokes became more vigorous. Slowly he starts to glow as he releases biotic energy that envelops them both in a field of intense light.
Kelly climaxes the instant the biotics fire but there is no release. The biotics hold and sustain her at her peak, supporting her instead of draining her. She is on fire with an energy she feels could create suns. She looks at him and sees him smile, " Return My Goddess, Return," he says softly before his eyes melt, and she feels the throb of his eminent release deep with in. She feels herself falling into his dark liquid gaze, his eyes like dark suns in front of her. He groans and says with tender command "Now Kelly, Embrace Eternity" and he releases his seed into her with a blast of biotic energy that echoes through the air with their cries of ecstatic release.
Her mind bursts with light as the memories of the hell of the Collectors are forced from the dark places in her psyche by the life giving force rushing inside her until there was no room for the darkness to return, Shepard's energy replacing it and closing it out completely. She looks deep into Shepard's eyes and sees the unbridled joy in his gaze. He embraces her tenderly and withdraws from her. He stands up and she can see that his biotic energy was subsiding, but the glow around her continues to pulse.
She looks at him with confusion written all over her face, "How is this possible, I'm not a Biotic?"
"No you aren't but our child will be if you allow it to grow. You gave me the strength in my deepest hour of need through letting me love you and allowing me to bring you back to yourself. You've been to hell and survived, like everyone on this ship you are a figurehead of our resistance and denial of the tyranny of the Reapers. The galaxy is an infinitely better place with you in it. Now you've returned I will never allow you to go back. Whether you choose to stay or go Kelly at any time in the future. I will always be with you and my biotic seed will always be a part of you."
Kelly leaps off the bed and embraces him fiercely and she starts to weep tears of overwhelming joy. "Oh God, Shepard. Thank you, I'm happier than I can ever say. The truth is I love you, completely and unconditionally and am thankful to you for allowing me to express it as a woman to a man. That you have chosen me to be the mother of your child is an honour that I can't describe. Oh Shepard, thank you, thank you."
Shepard lowers his face and starts to kiss the tears from her cheeks. "No it is I who should thank you Kelly. Your love gives me more strength than you realise. I may even have been lost to myself if you hadn't. You saved me from myself just as I saved you. You reminded me the power of it to heal and shelter someone. Others may have need of what we found in each other to survive, and the next generation will need the best that we can offer to rebuild should we survive."
The couple talk for some time before they surrender themselves to the bliss of sleep. Kelly waiting till she hears Shepard's breathing deepen. Kelly places her hand on her lower abdomen as if to feel the new life waiting to blossom and grow within her. The greatest man she had ever met had chosen her to carry his seed into the future. The thought overwhelms her when she realises how much he genuinely respected her as a woman.
The next couple of days rush by in ecstatic bliss as the couple stay in bed, sleeping, loving, laughing and sharing their most inner thoughts, only leaving to shower or to eat. All too soon the 'repairs ' on the Normandy's main engine were complete and the ship was on its way again, through the void to the heart of the Galactic political community on the giant Citadel space station.
The couple take a final shower together and Shepard starts to prepare for his meeting while Kelly sits on the bed playing with the tiny hamster, Boo. She watches Shepard put on the ceremonial uniform that he reserved for meetings with the council. She smiles to herself because she knew he preferred more informal attire. Her own opinion was that he looked hot and a mischievous erotic thought of the things she could do with him while he was in his dress best causes her to laugh throatily.
Shepard looks at her with a questioning expression on his face, "What is it? Do you think this is the wrong uniform?"
"You look great Shepard. I just had something else on my mind" and she looks him up and down with a wicked grin
"Care to share what you find so amusing about my appearance?"
"I wasn't laughing at you Shepard I was laughing at myself. Truth is I'm looking at you and I'm thinking that I just want to jump on you some more for a while."
Shepard laughs, "You are an insatiable woman." He straightens himself but with a naughty glint of his own "I am afraid, madam, I would have to decline you the request. Anymore of that behaviour and I wouldn't be able to walk and I have a meeting to attend"
Kelly laughs outrageously at the mock formality of her lover. "Pity me then. I will just have to content myself with my little friend here" indicating the plump little rodent that had curled up in her palm.
Shepard laughs, "Then I shall not keep you." His expression turns more serious. "I have an uneasy feeling about this meeting, Kelly. All the evidence was in my report and I have no real time for their stupid delays. After this meeting I'm going to Earth and hopefully get things rolling there."
"Good Luck Shepard. I'll get things prepared for your return."
Shepard leaves the room and she listens to sounds of the elevator descending. Kelly lifts her palm and speaks to the twitching hamster. "Do you think they'll listen to him this time?"
The rodent squeaks in reply, the tone seemingly serious to Kelly's ears. She looks at the tiny mammal "You think, well you're not as dumb as those assholes on that station"
The rodent squeaks again, this time more furiously. Kelly nods in agreement "Yeah Boo, You won't be the only being on this ship that would tear them a new one if they fuck with Shepard any longer."
Kelly stands, walks towards the cage and returns the hamster to its nest. The rodent looks up at her with twitching whiskers, it squeaks again this time with an almost forlorn note.
Kelly looks down sadly "Yeah, little guy, I miss him too. "