(a/n) Is it weird to be working on two fanfictions at once? As I was sitting reading, munching on nutella, this one came to me, and I know if I don't get it down now, I never will. So here it is!
Matt scanned the trees slowly, looking for any sign of Ben he could find. It had just been a few days ago that Ben had confided in him that he would have to leave, and though Matt didn't want him to, he knew deep down that Ben was right. So few people in the Second Mass trusted him, and that small number had decreased since Karen had come along, if only for one day, and ruined everything. Even Hal had a hard time trusting him, if only just for a little bit. Matt didn't understand what was really going on with his family, and he hated it when they kept secrets from them, but he knew something was up with Ben, Hal, and even their dad. The relationship was strained; he could see it.
So when Matt had casually looked all around and found that Ben was nowhere in sight, he had been worried. For now, he was covering it up by helping Hal load up a truck with food and medical supplies, but he couldn't help a knot from forming in his stomach. Where was Ben?
"Alright, we move out in five!" He heard Weaver yell in his gruff voice. He made one last desperate scan of the tree line, and finally something caught his eye. He focused as hard as he could on the spot he had seen it, and he could barely see Ben. He smiled and opened his mouth to call out to his brother, relieved, but then he noticed that Ben had on a backpack. He really was leaving. Matt's shoulders slumped as he looked at the ground. He didn't want Ben to go.
He looked sadly back up at Ben, and was startled to notice that somebody else was talking to him. His dad! Matt smiled again. He would be able to talk Ben out of leaving! He watched them for a little bit, waiting for them to finish up and come walking back to the rest of the group, arms slung around each other's shoulders, but it didn't happen. Matt's smile faded again as he noticed his dad begin to cry. Then Ben hugged him, and they stayed that way for a really long time. When they broke apart, Ben started walking away, and his dad was staring after him.
Matt's frown deepened. Did this mean his dad was letting Ben go? But Ben couldn't leave – surely his dad knew that. But no matter how Matt turned it over in his head, it really did look as though Tom was letting Ben go. Matt felt tears sting at the edge of his vision, and angrily blinked his eyes to get rid of them. He was a big boy now – he was even allowed to carry a gun – he shouldn't be crying. But he felt as though something had been scooped out of his stomach, almost like he had when they had found his mom and she was dead. This wasn't fair. His dad wasn't just supposed to let Ben leave. Even if he had to, why couldn't they all have gone together? As a family? They'd only just been reunited. Why did Ben have to go so soon? And he didn't even say goodbye.
"Alright, we're moving out now!" Weaver's gruff voice interrupted Matt's thoughts. He threw one last glance over his shoulder and managed to catch one last glimpse of Ben rounding the corner of the trail they were on – going the opposite direction, of course.
"Hey, buddy, watcha lookin' at?" Hal had noticed Matt staring forlornly after his brother, who had finally vanished from sight.
"Just saw a rabbit over there. It was kind of cute." Matt lied, knowing he could never tell Hal about what happened. He would save that for their dad; he would be better at explaining why, anyway.
"Alright, well, that's cool and all, but we gotta move." Matt felt Hal's hand on his shoulder, turning him around and guiding him the same way the group was going. They saw their dad walking towards them, rubbing his face, in an attempt to hide the tears in his eyes. Hal would never notice, or he would wait until they were away from Matt to mention it, but because Matt had seen what was going on, he knew.
Suddenly, he felt a wave of anger towards his dad wash over him. He had let Ben leave. He knew how much effort had gone into his rescue, how badly they had missed him, how badly they had wanted him back. He himself had pinned that picture up on that bulletin board at the school that now seemed light years away. It had been Matt's biggest birthday wish, Hal had risked his own life trying to get Ben back, and his dad had just let him go? It wasn't fair! It wasn't fair to any of them!
"Weaver might want to see us up front sometime soon." Tom said, looking up at Hal, who nodded. Then he looked down at Matt and asked "You excited about Charleston?"
Matt could only sullenly shrug in response, not trusting his voice to hide the anger he felt inside him. He knew deep down that it wasn't fair to his dad, that he had known that this day was coming, but all he could think about was the fact that Ben had just left, after they had only just gotten him back. It wasn't fair. This whole past year hadn't been fair. But nobody cared about fair when you were fighting to survive, and that wasn't fair either.
"You okay?" Tom had noticed Matt's sullenness. Matt looked at him and nodded, hoping that he would go away soon so that he could be alone with his thoughts. Tom frowned and opened his mouth, about to say something, when he heard Weaver call his name from the front of the group. He turned his head to the voice, then looked back at Matt. "You stay here. We'll talk when I get done talking to Weaver, okay?" Matt nodded again, but knew it was sort of a lie.
He didn't want to do what his dad told him. Why should he listen to the man that had let his brother go? Memories of the harnessing facility flooded his mind, and he quickly blocked them out. That was why he should listen to his dad. He knew that already, had learned that lesson (regrettably) the hard way, but he still didn't want to. It still wasn't fair.
"Hey Matt!" It was Lourdes. Matt rolled his eyes. Lourdes was great and all, but she had an uncanny knack of picking up on people's moods, and Matt definitely didn't want to talk about his right now. "What's the matter?" Her voice had a little less concern in it than it usually would, but she had almost seemed cold up until now after Jamile's death, so this was an improvement from anything.
"Nothing," Matt lied, trying to shrug it off, but when he noticed Lourdes looking at him skeptically, he sighed. "I just kind of miss my mom right now, is all." Well, that wasn't exactly a lie. Not a day went by that he didn't miss his mom. It was funny; they may not have always gotten along, and Matt had never missed her at camp or while spending the night at a friend's, but for some reason the knowledge that he would never see her again made him miss her more than he thought he could. He looked up at Lourdes and gave her a tiny half-smile, hoping that his explanation would be enough.
She looked at him sadly and squeezed his shoulder, know that there wasn't really anything she could do about that, and continued up the group with her last box of medical supplies. Matt stared forlornly again in the direction Ben had gone, and his heart seemed to do a funny lurch at the thought of him being all by himself out there.
Then Matt's brow wrinkled in thought. Maybe Ben didn't have to be all by himself. Matt knew that he couldn't exactly protect his big brother, but everyone got lonely, right? And what if Ben got lonely? Matt looked back towards the Second Mass, chewing his lip and considering his options. He could stay here and be miserable without Ben, his favorite brother (don't tell Hal!) and harboring this anger towards his dad, or he could follow Ben, that way they both could have some company. He made his decision.
He drastically slowed down his walk, that way it would seem like he was still with the group and he wouldn't draw too much attention to himself, and as soon as he was far enough behind them, he started running in the opposite direction. He made it to the bend and rounded it, much the same way Ben had, and stopped for a little bit to choose his plan of action. He stared on down the trail he knew Ben had followed, at least for a little while, while listening to the fading voices of the group. In a few moments it was completely silent. He nervously bit his lip, thinking for a moment about what he was about to do, then finally decided to just do it. He took a step after his brother, into an unknown world, and then another. With each one came more confidence. I can do this, he thought, and with that, he began his journey.
(a/n) So, what do you think?