(A.N.) Hello! I've been mostly dead when it comes to updates (and for that I apologize profusely) but there's this…so…yeah.
I didn't realize until I had finished this that the Kobold Necromancer has recently done an infinitely better murder mystery, so now I must wallow in my inadequacy! Ah well, bah humbug.
This is a birthday gift for the fantastical Sonowa, who will hopefully forgive me for sneaking in a few canon pairings in here. Happy birthday!
Anyway, enjoy the story!
You wake up in a room…
Harold glanced around at the unfamiliar settings. Somehow he had been moved in the night from the Killer Bass's cabin to some…nice-looking place that he was alone in. It was surreal enough to make him shiver. Sheets not ridden with bed bugs…paint that wasn't chipping off…what was going on?
Clearly, he thought to himself, as he mustered up his braveness, I must use incredibly zigzagged logic to get myself out of this room, using objects I find in here to break myself out.
To confirm his thoughts, he went to the door of the bedroom and twisted the doorknob experimentally. The door swung open.
"Oh," he said, disappointed.
He entered was a hallway lined with identical doors. Experimentally, he opened the one that was across from him. He was greeted with a shoe to the face.
"GET OUT OF MY ROOM, MORON!"
Harold slammed the door shut to escape any further rage from Duncan.
He sighed, forlornly.
"Challenge time," he said.
Meanwhile, in the not-so-distant future…
(About ten seconds from the previous scene, to be precise)…
Chris observed the many screens that lined the control room with malevolent glee.
"They should be waking up soon, Chef…" Chris said, grinning. "Should we murder somebody ourselves to show them what the challenge is going to be focused on? Ooh, we could murder me again. We need something to really shock and worry them."
Chef rolled his eyes. "I'm not sure that's the reaction they'd have…"
"Looks like Harold's up," Chris continued, ignoring him, and pointing to one of the screens that showed the hallway outside of the bedrooms. "Other people will start waking up soon, and since our murderer has already been briefed on…" he glanced at the camera, briefly. "His-or-her duties, some fun's sure to follow. And we can watch it all from up here, where nobody can find us!"
The two of them waited for an awkward moment.
Chris cleared his throat and tried again. "Where nobody can find us!" Irritated, he walked over to the door and opened it, looking outside. Seeing nobody, he closed it again and sat back down in front of the screens.
"Seriously?" He grumbled to himself. "Nobody was going to take that setup? I thought for sure Izzy would've jumped in at that point."
Elsewhere, Izzy shrugged at the camera.
"Too obvious," she said.
As campers woke up, they all seemed to gradually make their way down to a large kitchen/dining room area that the mansion held.
"Whose place is this, anyway?" Trent asked. They had only been on TDI for three challenges (in which Owen, Eva, and Geoff had been eliminated), but they had been there long enough to know that this was bizarrely high-class for TDI. "I feel like we're trespassing."
"Maybe this is Chris's," Lindsay mused, staring at a giant portrait of a shirtless Chris pointing a halberd at the sky while holding a puppy that he had saved from a burning orphanage. (The origin of the puppy could be confirmed by the title of the painting, found on its frame: Chris McLean saves a puppy from a burning orphanage. The fate of the orphans was left unknown.)
"What maketh you thay that?" Beth questioned her friend, curiously. Lindsay shrugged.
"Just a guess."
"Well, obviously this a challenge," Heather said, with her arms crossed. "The only question is what it's for."
"At least they've got breakfast," Gwen yawned, grabbing a croissant from off of the table.
"Good to know you've got your priorities straight, goth girl," Heather sneered, eyeing Gwen critically. Gwen raised an eyebrow.
"I'm guessing there's something else you think I should care about right now? I'm afraid to ask, but what?"
"Duh," Heather replied, rolling her eyes. (OH GOD HERE IT COMES.) "Winning. You should be concerned about getting us to win this next challenge! Besides, it's not like you couldn't spare a few pounds."
"Haughty witch," Gwen muttered under her breath.
"Creepy goth girl!"
"Control freak!"
"Better than a freak of nature!"
Noah glanced at his watch.
"Well, that didn't take long," he muttered to himself.
The arguing between the two of them continued for quite a while as the rest of the campers continued eating their breakfast, unfazed.
"Well!" Katie said cheerfully, standing up suddenly. "I don't know about you guys, but I am going to go exploring. I'm sure there's tons of stuff around here! I mean, c'mon, it's like, a mansion."
"Oh my god, like, what if they have a pool?" Sadie squealed. She stood up as well and clasped hands with Katie. "We should grab our swim suits!"
"Aw, but we don't have our stuff here, Sadie! We, like, would have to swim in our clothes!"
"Eee! That would be so much fun! Let's do it! Wait, where's the pool?"
"Downstairs, in the far left of the hallway," Cody told them, distractedly.
The two dashed off.
"I guess we might as well look around," Bridgette suggested to her other teammates. "I don't think we're gonna get Katie and Sadie back—"
"Drat," Duncan drawled, with a sardonic smirk.
"But," Bridgette continued, ignoring him, "we might be able to figure out the challenge before…whatever happens."
"Alright," Courtney declared, standing up abruptly. "Let's split up into groups. Each group can take a floor. Bridgette, you come with me. We'll check the upstairs."
Bridgette shrugged, easygoing, and walked with Courtney towards the staircase. It took them a while to realize Duncan was following them.
"Oh no," Courtney growled. "You are not coming with us."
"Lighten up, chicken-head," Duncan said, rolling his eyes. "I just don't want to be stuck in a group with the dweeb or home-school."
"Do you know anybody's name, here?" Bridgette asked, smirking a little bit.
"Sure I do, Malibu." He cheerfully put his arms around the two girl's shoulders, which they both promptly pushed away—Bridgette with delicacy, and Courtney with the delicacy of a pissed off wrestler.
"Fine," Courtney huffed. "You can come with us. But don't screw this up!"
"Fine," Duncan retorted, grinning. "I'll be sure not to screw it up—"
"Good—"
"That's more you're shtick, after all."
He was still laughing as Courtney pushed him down the stairs.
A piercing scream rang through the mansion. The campers sprinted towards the source of the noise, and finally ran into Katie, who was standing inside one of the bedrooms.
"What's going on?" Courtney asked sharply.
"This is Sadie's room!" Katie cried. "And I was supposed to meet her in here and she's DEAD! They KILLED her!"
DJ looked around the room, nervously. "They?" he asked. "Who're they? And how do you know for certain?"
Katie pointed to a seemingly unconscious Sadie who had a piece of paper taped to her that read: YUP, SHE'S DEAD.
"Huh," said Bridgette. "That's…well, that's something." She walked forward and took the sheet of paper off of her.
"Hey," Harold spoke up. "There's a message on the back!" Bridgette turned the paper around and read the message that was there:
"Okay," she read. "Sadie's not actually dead, but that's not the point. The challenge today is to find me before I kill you all. Kill is in quotation marks," Bridgette explained to the crowd of campers, before continuing. "If you think you know who I am but you guess incorrectly, then you lose the challenge. Not just for yourself, but for your team. Also, once you get killed, if you try to tell anyone who I am…you lose. You can't talk. Dead people don't talk. Anyway, I have immunity and that immunity only lasts for me if I target everybody…including my own teammates. Have fun, and happy hunting."
"Yikes," Tyler said, wide-eyed. "This is intense, man."
"I didn't even know they were allowed to say the word 'kill' without it being censored," deadpanned Noah.
"Would you rather have them say that they're sending the victims to the shadow realm?" Harold snickered.
Ignoring him, Noah spoke up again. "Okay, so how does this work, exactly? They expect us to split up and let ourselves get picked off by…" he eyed his fellow campers with a scowl. "Whoever the killer is among us?"
"I get your point, string bean," commented Leshawna. "C'mon, do they honestly expect us to start wandering off by ourselves?"
"Maybe not," said Chris's voice. Surprised, the campers started looking for the source of the noise, but couldn't find it. "So here's my solution to that little problem: the killer isn't going to strike while you guys are in a huge group?"
"I guess not," said Cody.
"So…here's your incentive to split up: if you don't split up, the challenge will never begin nor end, and you'll be stuck here forever. A regular hell on earth, right? Second reason: if you catch the killer, you win invincibility for your team this challenge…and invincibility for yourself—as in just you—for the next challenge, no matter how it goes. So, if you think you can catch the killer, you're better off moving by yourself. If you want the invincibility, that is. If you think that you're already safe for next challenge, then hey! By all means, just keep chilling in here."
There was a short burst of static, and the campers were left in silence.
"So, Katie," Courtney said, wheeling on her tanned teammate, "what exactly were you doing before we found you in here, with Sadie…indisposed?"
"Oh my God, Courtney," Katie growled, stamping her foot on the ground. "I would, like, never target my own best friend! I mean, who does that?"
"Someone who wants invincibility?" suggested Heather.
"I think we should give 'er the benefit of the doubt, eh," Ezekiel spoke up.
"Very interesting…" said Heather, looking towards the home-schooled boy with annoyance. "Sounds like something the killer would say."
"I'm not the killer!" Ezekiel objected, his hands up. "Katie, did'ja see anything before…um…stuff happened?"
Katie shook her head and sniffled to herself. "Nothing!"
"Well, it's too late now," Bridgette said consolingly. "I guess…I guess we have to split up, huh?"
"Best of luck to you all," Duncan said, pushing his way out of the room. "I don't know about you guys, but I plan to not die."
"Such a brilliant solution," Courtney muttered with vitriol, as she stalked out of the room. "Why didn't I think of that?"
The rest of the crowd slowly moved out.
Katie sniffed, looking sadly around the room for a moment, before exiting as well.
(Confession Cam: Our guess…Chef in the attic with a particularly big frying pan?)
Noah—(Rubs his hands together.) "Finally, a true test of intellect."
(Smirks.) "I didn't think it could get any more mentally stimulating than throwing rubber balls at each other—but imagine that, they proved me wrong! Now…I want this invincibility, but it might help to have someone work with me. I can't be sure who the killer is and who they aren't…so…I need someone incapable of deceit." (Pauses, and then suddenly exits the confessional room. His shouting can be heard.) "HEY, IZZY!"
Ezekiel walked around the mansion, nervously, and came across the entrance to the place. Hesitantly, he opened it, and called out:
"Um, killer? Are you out there, eh?" A short pause. "If you are, can you come in so I can capture you?" Another short pause. "Or not, that's okay too."
Bridgette walked down a long stretch of hallway, which was lined with more self-portraits of Chris.
"I really need a change of scenery," she muttered to herself. "I have no idea where I am anymore, though – oh!" She turned the corner and nearly ran into someone. "Harold! Hi! How's it going?"
Harold shrugged. "It's alright. The constant stress of having someone murder me, even in a purely fake manner, is starting to get to me. I feel too much like a horror movie cliché, y'know?"
"At least you're genre savvy," Bridgette laughed. The two of them began walking down the hall. "Those guys usually last longer. So," she added, smirking at Harold, "can I trust you though? You could be the killer yourself…"
"While it's true that I could slaughter many-a-camper with my art of silent ninja-ing, my sensei tells me to use my skills for good, not for evil."
"Ninja-ing?"
"I never vouched for my vocabulary. Anyway, between the two of us, you're the more likely killer."
"What makes you say that?" Bridgette laughed.
"Because you could be like, like Poison Ivy! The villainess fighting for the environment!" Harold grinned at the thought.
"I would be the least threatening villain ever!" Bridgette pointed out. "I have no powers, and the thing I have that could be considered a weapon is my surfboard!"
"Well, that thing can be pretty deadly," Harold remarked.
"True," Bridgette agreed. Again, she smirked. "But I like to use it for good, not for evil."
"Touché, young grasshopper, touché…"
"So," Noah said, awkwardly power-walking to try and keep up with Izzy. "Sound like a plan?"
"Sure thing, Noah!" Izzy replied excitedly. "This'll be fun! Almost as fun as that time that I went off into the woods and found a secret habitat of hillbilly squirrels! It was like trailer park hell meets the Blair Witch Project…"
"That…sounds terrifying."
"Oh, it is," Izzy chuckled darkly. Then, unexpectedly, she grinned and dropped an arm around Noah's shoulder. "But not as scary as the killer, my boy!"
"Please stop touching me—"
"What," Izzy continued to rant, "with his paper sheets and his…killer-ness…"
"Eloquently said, Izzy, now can you please stop touching me?"
"Alright, alright! Sheesh! Fine."
A long silence passed between the two.
"Want a piggyback-ride, Noah?" Izzy asked suddenly.
Noah paused, briefly reflecting on his hatred of walking. "…Yes."
DJ, sighed and leaned against the wall, feeling hopelessly lost. As he waited, the piggybacking duo of Noah and Izzy solemnly marched by.
"Hey," Izzy said casually.
"Hello…" DJ replied, uncertainly. He stared after them a moment before shrugging to himself and walking back the way he had come. He heard some sniffling from inside one of the doors and opened it, curiously.
"AH!" Katie shouted, wheeling back in surprise. "Oh, DJ, hi! Sorry, I'm just…yeah…okay…I'll see you later!" She hurriedly slammed the door shut. DJ blinked.
"Alright…" he said, feeling like everyone was going insane in this mansion. To further this thought, he heard knocking from the door Katie had just shut on him. Feeling stupid, he opened the door, and unexpectedly, a sobbing Katie leapt onto him.
"DJ, I miss Sadie! And I'm scared!"
"Do you…uh…want to walk with me, Katie?"
"Yes!" Katie said, instantly brightening up. "Let's go!"
(Confession Cam: Is not one of the suspects. Maybe.)
DJ—"I still don't know whether she's over-emotional or using me in an elaborate plot to get me killed. Girls, right?"
"NOOOOO!"
The campers sprinted down to find the source of the noise. It came from the downstairs, and once they found who had screamed, they also saw Lindsay…with a DEAD sign attached to her.
"LINDSAY!" Tyler continued to wail.
"Dude," Duncan said critically to Noah, who was very out of breath. "All you had to do was run downstairs!"
"Izzy dropped me," Noah grumbled in response. "And some of us like to exercise our brains rather than waste all our energy with—"
"Does nobody notice that my girlfriend is dead?" Tyler exclaimed.
"Girlfriend?" Heather huffed. "Oh, you'd better not be, Mr. Killer Bass. We wouldn't want a TEAM TRAITOR on our hands, right girls?" And, of all people to look at for support, she glanced at Gwen.
Gwen raised an eyebrow at the queen bee. "Seriously?"
"I'm guessing nobody thaw the culprit?" Beth asked.
"No…" Tyler said miserably.
"Then looks like we're out of luck," Courtney finalized, sharply. "Come on, let's keep moving."
DJ consolingly patted Tyler on the shoulder. "Sorry, dude."
"Yeah…" Tyler sighed. "I guess it's—"
The lights suddenly turned off.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me…" Noah snarked.
"This cliché?" Trent complained. "Seriously?"
"I don't think you're one to talk about clichés, dude," Duncan snickered.
Suddenly, a woman's scream pierced the air. The campers gasped, the lights turned on, and then…
Tyler was lying on the ground next to Lindsay, struck with a DEAD! sign as well.
"Well, at least they're together," Leshawna noted. "Poor guys."
"Can't Justin revive them with his hotness?" Katie suggested desperately.
But no matter how many times the model whipped off his shirt, it just didn't work.
"You starting to feel better?" DJ asked Katie, hopefully, as the two of them walked away from the others. They had decided to stick with each other for the rest of the challenge, hoping that sticking in a duo might help their chances.
"Yeah, I'm fine," Katie chuckled, sheepishly. "Sorry about that slight emotional breakdown! Liiitle bit crazy."
"Compared to what I've seen? You're closer to normal than the rest of us."
"It's just…" Katie began, but she clamped up. DJ raised an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked.
"Ah…" Katie mumbled, turning red. "I just—nobody really seems to like me, here, aside from Sadie."
"You two are attached to the hip," DJ pointed out.
"Because she gets me. I just feel like, well, other people…just…don't. I mean, Bridgette's nice on our team, but she doesn't like pink and magazines like we do! And Courtney is just plain crazy! And so was Eva, when she was here. Bridgette probably thinks I'm annoying, anyway," Katie sighed.
"I'm sure she doesn't," DJ assured her. "And hey, I'm enjoying your company."
Katie gasped, her eyes lighting up. "You are?"
"You don't see me running away screaming in terror, do you?"
Katie giggled. "Thanks, DJ. I feel a lot better."
"That's good to hear…"
Katie frowned. "Who said that?"
DJ looked around, perplexed as well. "Wasn't me."
Suddenly, the two of them felt a slap on their shoulders. They looked down, only to see the DEAD! signs attached to themselves.
"Aw, darn it!" Katie complained. The killer shushed them, and Katie rolled her eyes. "One of us have to scream though, right?" The killer nodded. "DJ, can you do the honors?"
(Confession Cam: A brief and unfortunate end)
Katie—"I should've known! You always stick around long enough for your conflicts to get resolved, or for the romantic tension to be played out! UGH! That's, like, rule number one of survival! Thanks a lot, killer! And Chris! And-and—ARGH!"
(Chris's voice, via speaker): "You're supposed to be dead, Katie."
Katie: "I'll stop talking and be dead when I'm damn well READY TO BE DEAD!" (In her frustration, she punches her fist out to accentuate her point.) "OW! I think I hit the camera. It's okay, I think it's still working."
DJ: (The camera is erratically showing spurts of static.) "Man, I still can't believe – BZZT! – was the killer."
"So, I just saw…Heather and the anti-me got killed," Noah said conversationally.
"Hm…is that good news or bad news for Noah?" Izzy pondered. Noah smirked.
"I can't say I miss him. Still, that knocks out two suspects. What should we try next to try the killer?"
"Make out?"
"What?"
"I said take-out. We should get take-out. Jimmy John's, yum!" She grabbed Noah's hand, dragging him along while simultaneously whipping out her phone.
Five minutes and one phone call later:
"Well that's unfortunate," Noah said, looking down at their sign-stricken deliveryman, now lying on the ground.
"At least we've got sandwiches!" Izzy said cheerfully.
"What's in them?"
"There's sandwich in them!"
"Ugh," Courtney muttered. "Can't find any teammates…no clues to the killer…I haven't even seen anything. This is the worst challenge yet!"
"Hey, princess!"
"And, it just got worse," she said, turning to face Duncan with a glare. "What do you want, Duncan?"
"Just thought you might need a little excitement. Besides, you might want some protection from the killer," he added, nodding with wide-eyed, mock sincerity. With a toss of her hair, Courtney started walking faster ahead. Duncan cheerfully followed her.
"For all I know, you could be the killer," Courtney snapped in response. "I plan to finally wait for the killer to slip up, so I can win the challenge and get invincibility! And I don't need or want help from someone like you!"
"But what better way to catch a criminal than an actual criminal?" Duncan challenged.
"Nice try, Duncan, but there's a fairly large difference between slapping paper sheets onto people and whatever wannabe-graffiti-artist-vandalism you do."
"I think you hurt my man feelings with that one," Duncan said, patting his heart. "Now, if I understand correctly, you are a CIT…if I'm not mistaken."
Courtney's eyes narrowed. "You're mocking me."
Duncan was the poster child of innocence. "I most certainly am not! C'mon, aren't you a CIT?"
"Yes, I was a counselor-in-training," Courtney replied huffily. "Why?"
"Well, with my street smarts and your…" he waved his hands in a vague gesture that communicated nothing whatsoever. "You-ness, we can catch the killer!"
"Why would I—"
"I'll let you have the invincibility."
Courtney's jaw dropped. "What?"
Duncan smirked. "You heard me."
"But—" Courtney stammered. "Why?"
Duncan shrugged. "Why the hell not?"
Courtney thought on this for a moment, before shrugging herself. "Works for me…"
"So," Gwen laughed, "is it awful if I'm glad Heather was, ah, killed?"
"I don't think so," Trent chuckled. "I mean, from what I've seen…she doesn't seem like the nicest chick out there."
"You should see what kind of crap she pulls in the girls' cabin! She keeps ordering us around, making us do the chores. Lindsay got yelled at for not making Heather's bed. I feel bad, but she's in an alliance with Heather – at least, that's what I think. Everyone here just seems so crazy, y'know?"
"Yeah…"
"Sorry," Gwen said suddenly, turning red and covering her mouth. "I'm talking a lot. I don't usually talk this much."
"Don't worry about it. You're fun to talk to, Gwen."
Gwen smiled and sheepishly looked away. "Thanks. You're…a pretty cool guy too. I'm guessing you'd be the last person to go crazy around here."
Trent laughed. "Oh, I don't know. Once next season rolls around, I might be muttering to myself like a crazy person. Start becoming neurotic…"
"Get obsessed with a number or something," Gwen laughed. "Play some really depressing songs on your guitar and then stop showing up in anything. Oh my God, wouldn't that be just ridiculous?"
"Definitely."
The two of them gave very pointed looks to the camera, each of them raising an eyebrow.
"Anyway," Gwen said. "Killers, right? We should…do something about that."
"Ah, I don't know, I'm pretty comfortable here."
"That's good to hear."
Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Slightly cheesy one-liner? Well, we now how this is going to end."
(Confession Cam: Two's company…)
Katie, squeezed in with a very uncomfortable looking Gwen: "I'm telling you, you guys should've made out! That would've kept you on longer!"
"Great, so who do we have left?" Courtney asked, scribbling furiously on a notepad.
"Still alive? We've got…you and me, Harold, Izzy, Cody, Leshawna…Beth, Noah, Bridgette, Home-school, and…oh yeah, Gwen and Trent."
"Gwen and Trent are dead, actually!" Beth said, who for some reason had a flashing 'EXPOSITION' sign over her head as she walked by the two.
"I never even heard a scream," Courtney mused. "So that's everybody?" Duncan nodded. "So, can I trust that you're not the killer, Duncan?"
"You could be duping me as well, Princess," Duncan pointed out.
Courtney grinned. "I'm brilliant enough to pull them off, of course, but I'm not the killer."
"I guess we just have to trust each other, then."
"I guess…" Courtney echoed. "Huh, it's already getting darker. The time lapse between those page breaks is longer than I thought." Duncan, who was now wearing sunglasses for some reason, took the opportunity to walk towards the window and stare out of it dramatically.
"There are things in the dark…" he turned around and whipped his sunglasses off, revealing another pair of sunglasses underneath. "Dark things." (1)
"What does that have to do with anything?" Courtney snapped.
Duncan looked upset. "I don't know; I thought it sounded cool."
"Well, it didn't."
Bridgette started to feel her nerves creep on her once she realized that there were more 'dead' campers than live ones.
"How many people are left, Harold?" she asked the lanky one.
"If my calculations are correct…"
"Calculations? It's counting."
"I wanted to say that phrase! Gosh! Okay, I think there are nine of us left. Lucky number, at least…"
"Still," Bridgette mused. "We should think of a plan, or we're going to be dead meat."
"So, you don't think I'm the killer anymore?"
"If you were the killer," Bridgette remarked, "you probably would've killed me already. Plus you haven't left my sight while other people have died, so there's that."
"Hey, we could bait the killer out!" Harold said suddenly. "I could start wandering around, you could hide nearby, and you could spot the killer! Then our team would win, and you could get invincibility next challenge!"
Bridgette smiled. "You'd let me have the invincibility?"
Harold bowed. "It's common chivalry, m'lady."
Laughing, Bridgette kissed him on the cheek. "Well, I think it's sweet. Let's try this crazy plan of yours." Harold turned red, but grinned.
So, Bridgette hid behind one of the staircases while Harold aimlessly wandered around the main floor, cheerfully whistling to himself. Noah walked by at one point, rolled his eyes at the nerd (he was whistling Happy Days, after all) and continued on his way down the next hallway. Harold walked around for about another ten minutes, then finally sighed and called to Bridgette: "I guess it's not going to work."
There wasn't any response. "Bridgette? Bridgette? BRIDGEEEETE?" He ran to the spot behind the staircases, and his worst fear was confirmed: Bridgette was dead.
"No!" Harold wailed. "Take me instead!"
"How about both of you?"
"Oh, that works too," Harold sighed, inspecting his new DEAD! sign.
Noah and Izzy inspected the area around Harold and Bridgette. (That's half correct—Noah inspected the area, Izzy spent the time trying to reanimate the 'dead'.)
"No clues," Noah sighed. "I don't know what I was expecting. It's not like there's a weapon to leave around. All you're doing is attaching a paper sheet to somebody. How did he get behind Bridgette, though?"
"ARISE!" Izzy shouted, looming over Harold while flailing her arms up and down. Noah sighed again and inspected the area behind the staircase where Bridgette had been hiding.
"Oh, you have got to be kidding me…"
Izzy took a break from her necromancer attempts in order to become curious.
"What's up, Mr. Arc?" she asked. "Find a clue?"
"Sort of," Noah replied, grimacing. "I found his method of transportation."
"Um…" Izzy blinked. "Walking?" she guessed.
"Even worse." He pulled on the air vent, taking the front part of it completely off. "Air vents."
"Huh! Well…shall we, then?"
"I don't think this is exactly safe."
"Oh, pish-posh. We'll be fine. The worst thing that could happen is that we fall in a room. And if we do fall in a room, the rules of contrived coincidences state that it will be a plot-relevant room."
Noah stared at her for a moment, and finally shrugged. "Whatever."
"YEAH! Let's go catch a psycho!" Izzy cheered.
They crawled through the air vents. Their only seemed to be one possible path, so they kept going down it. Finally, they came to another air vent opening that had been loosened. Izzy removed it and the two of them crawled out into the new room.
"Wow," Noah said, eyes widened. "That's unexpected."
Leshawna, Beth, and Cody were both lying in the room, dead. (Ish.)
"Hm? Why are you so surprised?' Izzy asked.
"I thought for sure it was either Cody or Beth," Noah said. "Because with the people who are left…Cody and Beth seemed like the only ones who could fit through the vent. So…it must either be Duncan or Courtney."
"So, how do we catch the right one?"
"Well, they're together right now. And they probably think that the killer is one of us. Or one of them," he gestured towards the 'dead' trio, "if they haven't seen this already. So for now…personally, I think we have to wait for them to make the first move. I guess we should go."
They began to leave, and when they were just out of the door of the room, a thought occurred to Noah.
"What's up?" Izzy asked, eyes wide.
"I was just thinking…faking your own death here wouldn't exactly be difficult. I mean, if all you had to do was attach a piece of paper to yourself."
Izzy frowned, and then began to look worried. "Oh."
They had just started to turn around when they were both hit in the back. Izzy gasped dramatically and staggered to the ground.
"It's…" she whispered. "Been an honor…serving you…my friend." She wiped an imaginary tear from her eye and dropped to the ground. Noah just unceremoniously sighed, sat down, and rolled over to his side.
Izzy was still sniffling. "Did Izzy…make…a good Watson?"
"Yes, Izzy, you did."
"Really?"
"The best sidekick I could've hoped for."
"Yay!" Izzy hugged Noah, who rolled his eyes, but didn't pull away.
"We're supposed to be dead, Izzy."
"Oh yeah, that's right. Can I be a zombie?"
"…yes, Izzy, you can be a zombie."
Courtney and Duncan came across the five dead bodies: Noah's, Cody's, Beth's, Izzy's, and Leshawna's.
They slowly turned to each other.
"You lied to me!" Courtney accused, pointing a finger at the delinquent. "IT was YOU!"
"Are you serious?" Duncan fumed. "How are you still keeping this pretense up? Everyone's dead and I'm not the killer, so—"
"AGH! I don't even want to hear it! Where do I make that formal accusation or whatever?" She stamped her foot. "I want my invincibility!"
"Not if I get it first!" Duncan retorted, even thought that didn't make a lick of sense. The two, unsure what they were supposed to do, angrily turned away from each other.
And then they both felt a slap on the back.
"I knew it!" they growled simultaneously. Their anger turned to confusion as they realized that they were both hit. Then they saw the person standing in-between them.
"Ah…hey there," Cody said, with a nervous smile. "I guess I win…?"
"I feel like we're missing somebody," Bridgette murmured to Harold. The campers were meeting in the area in front of the main doors to explain everything that had happened in the challenge.
Harold frowned, surveying the campers. "I think this is everyone…"
Chris appeared on the scene, and dragged a very awkward-looking Cody up in front of the others.
"So, our genius mastermind," Chris chuckled. "Tell us how you pulled it off!"
Cody pulled at his collar. "Well…I used the vents to get around, as Noah found out. I kept the paper in my backpack. I was kind of surprised you guys never said anything. Oh! I even slipped up this morning, when Katie and Sadie were asking about the pool! I knew exactly where it was even though none of us had been here before. Truth was, I had already been brought here so I would know my way around better than you guys would. And I just faked my death by attaching one of the papers to myself. So…yeah, that's it."
"Actually, that's not," Chris said, smiling with an all-too recognizable evilness. "While moving around quickly and not getting noticed are apparently some of your talents…apparently counting isn't."
"Like you're one to talk," Trent muttered under his breath.
Cody blinked, looking at Chris with confusion. "What?"
Definitely laughing now, Chris walked to the front doors and pulled them open. "Hey, ZEKE!"
Cody's eyes popped. "WHAT?"
Ezekiel popped his head in.
"I didn't find the killer, eh. I did find a really cool tree, though!"
Cody slammed his head against the nearest wall a few dozen times.
"Sooo…" Courtney said, smirking at Chris. "Does that mean…?"
"The Killer Bass win!" Chris finished. The team stood up and cheered, hugging and high-fiving each other.
"Aw, it's okay Cody!" Izzy said, patting the forlorn killer on the back. "I can think of something that'll cheer you up!"
"What's that?" Cody asked miserably.
"Two words: combustible lemons."
"What…?"
"Hey, Noah!" Izzy grabbed the nearby cynic and grinned at him. "Wanna help me and Cody blow some stuff up?"
Noah raised an eyebrow. "What happens if I say no?"
"Then…you're going to want to stay from citrus-related…things."
"Right. I suppose that means I'm in."
"YAY!" Izzy pulled the two boys into a hug.
"Are you…blushing?" Cody snickered at Noah.
"Oh, go watch some Sesame Street, Mr. Numerically-Challenged Killer."
Elsewhere, Harold awkwardly ran up to Bridgette just as she was leaving through the front doors.
"This may be kind of sudden," he began rapidly. "But I was wondering if you and I could go down to the lake sometime and maybe I could show you my haiku skills sometime? Maybe?"
"That sounds like a plan. Meet you there at eight next night? I do love haikus…"
Harold paused, confused, and Bridgette walked on, laughing slightly to herself. Puzzled, Harold looked up, counted quietly to himself, and then gasped.
"She's perfect," he said.
(And thus, the end of our tale.
…Refrigerator.)
(A.N.)
(1) If you got that reference, pat yourself on the back. Then use the same hand and smack yourself in the face.
So, there you have it. Kind of silly, but hopefully you enjoyed it. Anytime Izzy says anything particularly weird, it's probably either a Portal 2 reference or maybe an Invader Zim reference.
Also! Duncan and Courtney's fate was kind-of-sort-of modeled after the fate of a couple from a very famous murder mystery. Can YOU guess which?
So, happy birthday again, Sonowa! For those who haven't heard of him, go read his stories!
So long! Thanks for reading!