Ok so I got a little inspiration for a one-shot so i quickly wrote that down into a short thingy... :)
This one-shot is inspired by the song Stained Glass by Jon Guerra, I suggest you listen to that song while reading it, but that's all up to you :)
Hope you enjoy this little piece!
Happy reading,
Em
"all my days
I've been wearing the mistakes I've made
like a coat I could've thrown away
I should've brought it to you"
Georg at on a bench inside of the gazebo. Today was one of those days that he just couldn't seem to get his head together. One of those days where he desperately needed guidance, but wouldn't know where to find it. After his wife died he turned his back on faith completely, after all he has done after the loss of her he wouldn't know if he could ever dare going back to that faith asking for forgiveness he didn't deserve. He sighed resting his head in his hands. He abandoned his family when they needed him most. He turned into a cold heartless man, and now seeing his children so happy he knows he needs to change, but he simply doesn't know where to start. Right at that moment he heard footsteps coming from the other side of the garden. Once the person reached the gazebo she quickly apologized.
"Oh…" The voice said "I'm sorry, I didn't think anybody would be here" She saw the captain looking troubled and didn't want to bother him. She turned around to leave "Fräulein," He said and the governess stopped walking "Can I ask you something?" She hesitantly turned around to look at the captain "yes?" she asked curiosity getting to her "How do you do it?" He asked lifting his head from his hands "Excuse me sir, how do I do what?" she said leaning slightly to the left to look at the captain "How come you haven't lost your faith?"
"Oh, I have lost my faith many times," Maria replied giving a sad smile "You have?" He asked her in disbelieve "May I?" Maria asked pointing to the bench next to the captain's. He nodded before she sat down on the vacant spot "You see captain, everyone has a point in their lives to which they feel they have lost their faith, or that they have done things to dishonor their faith," she cleared her throat "when…" She wasn't sure if she could tell him. She hasn't talked about that event in her life for over a year. She decided that maybe it would help him. She continued speaking "when my parents died, I had lost all faith in God and in the church," she confessed
"When my wife died," He started "I had lost all faith in everything," he hadn't talked about his wife's passing for a very long time, maybe this was the time to let all of his cropped up emotions out. "not that I was a very big believer," he admitted "My wife, she was the believer of the family, I rather believe in the facts of things than someone who has never been seen by anyone"
"You don't need to see God to feel his presence," Maria said giving Georg a soft smile "what if you have done something to dishonor your faith, will he still be there?" He gave a sad smile "Captain, you were hurt and perhaps angry of what had happened, and you found it difficult to deal with," Maria helped "Yes, but I should not have walked away from my children or from my faith!" His tone got frustrated "Captain, you may turn your back on him, but he won't turn his back on you, he will always be there, no matter what stains we were on our sleeves" Maria smiled at him "He cannot help you with everything, but he will be there guiding you through the trials and errors of life" Georg's expression got softer as he let out a long sigh "as for your children, captain, they adore you," She chuckled "they've told me so many times,"
"they are ready to forgive you, if you are ready to let them," Georg looked up "Do you really think so? How can I let them forgive me if I cannot forgive myself?" He stood up and started walking around in the gazebo "Captain, as I said before, your actions came from a place of hurt, anger and most of all grieving, all won't be forgiven right away, but if you never start you may always walk around with stains on your sleeves" She also stood up making her way towards the captain "now you have the chance to wash them out," she gave the captain an encouraging smile "We all have our flaws, including me"
"Why do I find that very hard to believe?" the captain replied in mock shock "I just like to believe that everyone has flaws, but that to God we all look like stained glass windows," Maria started "stained glass windows? Why that reference?" The captain asked curious "Well, when his light will shine through he will see your flaws, but he will forgive them making you look like beautiful stained glass windows" Maria said giving a soft smile and right at that moment a ray of sunlight came peering through the windows of the gazebo shining on its two occupants. "See?" Maria chuckled, she knew it was just sheer luck that the sun happened to be peering in at right that moment, but it helped her reason her theory. "When you sang with the children that day you came back, you opened your heart to them, now you can only move forward,"
"Thank you, fräulein" He thanked her giving a soft smile "as for opening your heart to God, pray to him, and he will come back around," she reassured the captain "and even if you're not ready to start, I will put in a good word for you," She laughed "I've been praying for you from the day I've arrived," She confessed. She has been praying for him? What would she be praying about him for? "F-for your family of course I mean…!" Maria quickly added "again, thank you," Georg said "No problem," Maria smiled. Now they were left in silence. "You must be the most optimistic person I have ever met in my entire life," Georg observed after a while. If only that were true… Maria had her fair share of downfalls in her life, and in moments like that even her optimism was very hard to find, but after finding her way to the abbey she forgave God and she found her optimism again, learning that she wasn't the only person with flaws, and that it was alright to have them (to a certain extent of course). Now she was happy to make the captain see the same thing. A beautiful stained glass window.
"show me what you see
when you look at me
show me what is real
more than what i feel
we have stains, it's true
but when your light shines through
we all look like stained glass windows to you"
so I wasn't really sure about this one, I don't want to offend peoples religions by the view i thought Maria (And me maybe..?) had on her religion. I myself am a Roman Catholic but to tell you the truth I don't go to the church that often, also because my family isn't that strict when it comes to going to the church, and also because I had my fair share of struggles with the good lord above, I mean, i've reached a moment in my life that I felt so bad about myself and I suddenly had the feeling that he wasn't there anymore that I couldn't go to him for guidance anymore (Not that I pray every day, but it's nice to know he is there for when you feel the need to pray) I struggled very hard with my feelings on the whole matter and started seriously doubting my faith in the catholic church, (and no, i'm not saying that i had an out of body experience or that i've seen him in my dreams as a spirit, or that i saw the light or anything..) but I feel that my life has turned around for the better and that it may not just be my doing, but with help from friend, family and from God, and that because of them I made it out ok, and from that point i've been rebuilding my faith, and now my life is going great and i'm happier than ever :)
Sorry for that whole speech, but i just wanted to get my thoughts on the matter out XD
Please review, they make me very happy! :)