A/N: Woo...my first Yu-Gi-Oh fic is...FLUFF! I got this idea when I was
talking with my uncle, and he accidentally called YGO "Yuki-oh." XD Now, as
you all know, Yuugi-ou means "King of Games." However, Yuki-ou means "King
of Snow." And so, this was started. WHEE!! I don't own this show, or any
related characters, blah, blah. There is OOC-ness and sexual content, but
come on, it's a parody, people!
YU-KI-OH!
It was a brisk September day, and the first snow had begun to fall. Yugi Mutou was just waking up, and stretching, he sleepily glanced to the window, and his large purple eyes instantly shone with glee. He leapt from his bed, pressing his hand against the glass as he beheld the winter wonderland. He let out a happy noise, and flung on a sweater and his puzzle, running past his grandpa excitedly.
"It's snowing!! It's snowing!" Yugi bounced up and down eagerly.
"Is it snowing?" Grandpa Mutou inquired.
"Yes! It is!" Yugi squeeked, and dashed out the door.... instantly slipping on ice which had covered the sidewalk and landing hard on his bottom, before sliding quite some distance and crashing into a tree. A huge pile of snow fell on Yugi's head from the branches.
Shortly, Jounouchi and Honda were taking a walk in the snow as well, and noticed the large mound of snow. Honda pointed.
"Jounouchi, that snowman looks like Yugi, doesn't it?"
"Yes... it is very short." Jou replied.
"Hey!! I'm not that short!" The "snowman" yelled. Honda leapt into Jou's arms, a la "Scooby Doo."
"It can talk!" He whispered scaredly.
Yugi slowly brushed the snow off him, twitching from the coldness. He was cold. Honda continued to cling to Jounouchi. There was an awkward silence, before they both finally toppled over, landing in a suggestive pose. It was at that moment that Anzu walked by.
"Whoa!! I didn't need to see that!!" She jumped back, in a standard anime freaked pose, sweatdrop and all. "I mean, friendship and all, but GOD! I never would have thought you two would.."
"Oi, w-wait! That's...it's not what it looks like!" Honda turned red, a huge sweatdrop also forming over his head. "I don't want to give it to him up the ass with my hair!"
"Ack! What the hell?!" Jou leapt up, Honda still sprawled on the ground.
"Kuso! Did I say that out loud!?"
"I think Honda wants you to drive him, Jounouchi." Anzu smirked teasingly.
"No! I don't! Really! Really I don't!" Honda stammered. "I'm still madly in love with Miho! I don't hunger for Jounouchi's spicy assmeats..."
Yugi, Anzu and Jounouchi stared blankly at Honda, before the three decided to drop the subject. It was scaring the readers. There was another awkward silence, and then Jounouchi nailed Yugi with a snowball. Everyone laughed, and Yugi scooped up more snow to retaliate. Jounouchi dodged Yugi's snowball.
"Haa! You missed me!" Jou pointed and laughed, before Yugi nailed him in the mouth with one. Jounouchi coughed, spitting out a mouthful of frozen H20.Yugi chuckled as Jou threw another snowball. It missed, or so he thought. Anzu giggled, and pointed to Yugi's head. One of his spikes had been knocked flat, and the unbalance made it look more bizarre than usual. Yugi frowned and tried to straighten it. Finally he had gotten it to stand just right, when from behind, a second snowball knocked down another one. It bent into his face. The quartet turned around, with one of those dramatic collective gasps, with amazing split-screen effects, for the snowball was lobbed by none other than...Kaiba!
"Kaiba?! Seto Kaiba?" Yugi exclaimed.
"Of course not! I'm Super Sailor Cardcaptor Kaiba, the champion of all stuff cardy! Please." He said, without a hint of sarcasm! (Not.)
Yugi-tachi got huge sweatdrops. Yugi spoke again. "Um, anyway... what're you doing here?"
"Well, my pointy-haired rival..." Kaiba began.
"My hair's not big!"
"I said it was pointy. Not big, pointy!"
".....Lies!"
Kaiba coughed loudly.
"Oh, sorry. Please, tell me why you're here." Yugi scratched the back of his neck. Kaiba started again.
"I've come because.."
"IT'S REALLY NOT BIG!" Yugi protested. Kaiba shot him an annoyed look, restarting once again.
".......I've COME because..."
"Seriously! It ISN'T!"
"I! HAVE! COME! BECAUSE!!"
"It's just a little spiky, is all!"
"HEY! Do you want me to tell you or NOT!?" Kaiba yelled frustratedly.
"Mmyep."
"Then be QUIET! I've come to challenge you, Yugi Mutou, to a snow duel!"
"A ...snow duel?" Yugi and all of his friends asked in unison.
"That's right, Yugi. You may have been right about the heart of the cards, but I know the snow is cold as ice!"
"That's where you're wrong, Kaiba, but I accept your challenge!" Yugi looked all cool and determined here.
Kaiba grinned. "Then right this way!"
Kaiba lead Yugi and friends to a nearby clearing, where he had built two snow forts, which closely resembeled those dueling pedestal things. A tarp covered some sort of large object to the side, near where Mokuba stood. He was dressed as a cheerleader, with the KaibaCorp logo displayed on his torso.
"Yay, Big Brother! Rah, rah, rah!" Mokuba bounced up and down. Everyone got giant sweatdrops. Kaiba and Yugi stood behind their giant icey fortress things.
"Yugi, we each start out with a gigantic pile of snowballs. First person to lose feeling in their body and end up with frostbite loses." Kaiba crossed his arms, looking confident.
"This seems really stupid," Anzu whispered to Jounouchi.
"Just watch." He replied.
Yugi's Millenium puzzle glowed. "Yuki-ohhhhhh!!"
There was that spiffy transformation sequence, however where Yami Yugi usually had lightning bolts in his hair, there were white icicles.
"Allright, Kaiba. Time to snow-duel." Yami spoke cooly, his voice having gotten all sexy.
"I choose the big hulking snowball, in attack mode!" Kaiba yelled, before picking up the biggest snowball nearby and hurling it at his head. Yami was hit full-on.
He recoiled with impact. His face stinging, he wiped the cold substance off. "Your underhanded snow methods have gone on long enough, Kaiba! Time to teach you about...THE HEART OF THE SNOW!"
Kaiba blinked. "What the HELL?"
"That's right Kaiba! Now I play icey rock snowball, in attack mode!"
Kaiba shrieked like a girl as he dodged the snow-covered rock which whizzed by his head. "Good move, Yugi, but not good enough! I play the decent-sized snowball, and use this magic card to turn it into yellow snow!"
"WHAT?!" Yami gasped. Kaiba grinned evilly , turned around, and did the obvious. "This game is mine, Yugi!" Kaiba exclaimed insanely, throwing the nasty yellow snowball.
There was another amazing split-screen gasping effect. Could Yamii stand up to Kaiba's assault?!
No! The snowball nailed him right in the chest. Yami made a face in disgust. "Ugh! Kaiba, that's disgusting!"
"That brings your snow points considerably down, Yugi! So much for your heart of the snow!"
"I'm not giving up yet, Kaiba! I still have this!" Yami lifted up a snowball the size of a canteloupe.
"Good snowball, Yugi... but I'm ending this now!" With that, Kaiba jumped from his perch, and ran over to the giant tarp. Straining, he pushed the large thing onto the field, running back behind his snow fort. "Now, behold!" Grabbing a rope, he pulled off the tarp, revealing three ice sculptures. They looked exactly like Kaiba's favorite card. "The Blue Ice White Dragons! You have nothing in your pile that could possibly top my mad ice sculpting skills!"
"No way!" Jounouchi exclaimed.
"I had no idea Kaiba could ice sculpt," Honda commented.
"Of course he can! My brother's the best!" Mokuba waved his pom-poms.
"How can Yugi possibly top those!?" Jounouchi asked.
"He can't! He's doomed! Rah, rah, rah!" Mokuba did a flip.
"Mokuba is scaring me," Anzu whined.
"Although this snowball is very powerful...I'm going to need something better to defeat his Blue Ice!" Yami thought to himself. "I'm going to have to chance it."
Yami backed up, and then started throwing all of his snowballs into the center. Thousands upon thousands of snowballs flew into the air. Kaiba's eyes widened. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't like it. "No matter how many snowballs you throw, you can't match the awesome spiffiness of my blue ice dragons! Just give up!"
"I will never surrender, Kaiba! The heart of the snow guides meeee!" Yami continued to throw snowballs.
"That's a load of bullshit." Kaiba looked at Yugi like he was a complete dope.
"It is not!" Yami stuck out his tongue, making a razz. Kaiba smacked his forehead as Yami continued to pile on snow.
"Now Kaiba, look what I have made!" Yami pointed, after all of his snowballs had been used.
"No! It can't BE!" Kaiba backed up dumbfounded.
"It is! Exsnowdia!!" He struck v for victory pose, crowing over his giant Exodia snowman.
"That's impossible! Nobody can randomly throw snowballs and get Exodia!"
"Ah, but I have the HEART OF THE SNOW!"
"No, the writers just like you!" Kaiba denied.
"Now, Exsnowdia! Destroy the Blue Ice White Dragons!" Yami jumped off his snow fort and gave "Exsnowdia" a good hard kick. The snowman toppled over, falling full-force on Kaiba and his dragons. The dragons cracked. 15 minutes later, Kaiba emerged from the snow, freezing.
"Wahh! Now I'll never win the ice sculpting contest!"
"Well, that was fun. Time for a musical number!" Yami exclaimed. A disco ball lowered from the sky, and everyone began to do a little dance. Yami began the song.
"Well, I win yet again, and again, there is a heart of the snow!"
"Oh no! I think Yugi must have divine intervention, when will I know?" Kaiba sang, looking OOC.
"Mokuba's a cheerleader and it is very frightening!" Anzu sang.
"Why does Yugi's hair magically get icicles and lightning? Rah!" Mokuba joined in.
"Jounouchi looks so sexy to-daaaaay!" Honda crooned.
"I am going to have to run away! Far awaaay!" Jounouchi sang, before fleeing as everyone went into the chorus.
"We're stuck in a horribly written fanfic, oh what shall we do? We have to randomly sing a song, at least there are no Mary-Sues, Out-of-character-ness is prime, And we aren't good at making rhymes, What the hell is the heart of the snow? Do we even want to know?"
And then everyone spontaneously combusted. The end!
YU-KI-OH!
It was a brisk September day, and the first snow had begun to fall. Yugi Mutou was just waking up, and stretching, he sleepily glanced to the window, and his large purple eyes instantly shone with glee. He leapt from his bed, pressing his hand against the glass as he beheld the winter wonderland. He let out a happy noise, and flung on a sweater and his puzzle, running past his grandpa excitedly.
"It's snowing!! It's snowing!" Yugi bounced up and down eagerly.
"Is it snowing?" Grandpa Mutou inquired.
"Yes! It is!" Yugi squeeked, and dashed out the door.... instantly slipping on ice which had covered the sidewalk and landing hard on his bottom, before sliding quite some distance and crashing into a tree. A huge pile of snow fell on Yugi's head from the branches.
Shortly, Jounouchi and Honda were taking a walk in the snow as well, and noticed the large mound of snow. Honda pointed.
"Jounouchi, that snowman looks like Yugi, doesn't it?"
"Yes... it is very short." Jou replied.
"Hey!! I'm not that short!" The "snowman" yelled. Honda leapt into Jou's arms, a la "Scooby Doo."
"It can talk!" He whispered scaredly.
Yugi slowly brushed the snow off him, twitching from the coldness. He was cold. Honda continued to cling to Jounouchi. There was an awkward silence, before they both finally toppled over, landing in a suggestive pose. It was at that moment that Anzu walked by.
"Whoa!! I didn't need to see that!!" She jumped back, in a standard anime freaked pose, sweatdrop and all. "I mean, friendship and all, but GOD! I never would have thought you two would.."
"Oi, w-wait! That's...it's not what it looks like!" Honda turned red, a huge sweatdrop also forming over his head. "I don't want to give it to him up the ass with my hair!"
"Ack! What the hell?!" Jou leapt up, Honda still sprawled on the ground.
"Kuso! Did I say that out loud!?"
"I think Honda wants you to drive him, Jounouchi." Anzu smirked teasingly.
"No! I don't! Really! Really I don't!" Honda stammered. "I'm still madly in love with Miho! I don't hunger for Jounouchi's spicy assmeats..."
Yugi, Anzu and Jounouchi stared blankly at Honda, before the three decided to drop the subject. It was scaring the readers. There was another awkward silence, and then Jounouchi nailed Yugi with a snowball. Everyone laughed, and Yugi scooped up more snow to retaliate. Jounouchi dodged Yugi's snowball.
"Haa! You missed me!" Jou pointed and laughed, before Yugi nailed him in the mouth with one. Jounouchi coughed, spitting out a mouthful of frozen H20.Yugi chuckled as Jou threw another snowball. It missed, or so he thought. Anzu giggled, and pointed to Yugi's head. One of his spikes had been knocked flat, and the unbalance made it look more bizarre than usual. Yugi frowned and tried to straighten it. Finally he had gotten it to stand just right, when from behind, a second snowball knocked down another one. It bent into his face. The quartet turned around, with one of those dramatic collective gasps, with amazing split-screen effects, for the snowball was lobbed by none other than...Kaiba!
"Kaiba?! Seto Kaiba?" Yugi exclaimed.
"Of course not! I'm Super Sailor Cardcaptor Kaiba, the champion of all stuff cardy! Please." He said, without a hint of sarcasm! (Not.)
Yugi-tachi got huge sweatdrops. Yugi spoke again. "Um, anyway... what're you doing here?"
"Well, my pointy-haired rival..." Kaiba began.
"My hair's not big!"
"I said it was pointy. Not big, pointy!"
".....Lies!"
Kaiba coughed loudly.
"Oh, sorry. Please, tell me why you're here." Yugi scratched the back of his neck. Kaiba started again.
"I've come because.."
"IT'S REALLY NOT BIG!" Yugi protested. Kaiba shot him an annoyed look, restarting once again.
".......I've COME because..."
"Seriously! It ISN'T!"
"I! HAVE! COME! BECAUSE!!"
"It's just a little spiky, is all!"
"HEY! Do you want me to tell you or NOT!?" Kaiba yelled frustratedly.
"Mmyep."
"Then be QUIET! I've come to challenge you, Yugi Mutou, to a snow duel!"
"A ...snow duel?" Yugi and all of his friends asked in unison.
"That's right, Yugi. You may have been right about the heart of the cards, but I know the snow is cold as ice!"
"That's where you're wrong, Kaiba, but I accept your challenge!" Yugi looked all cool and determined here.
Kaiba grinned. "Then right this way!"
Kaiba lead Yugi and friends to a nearby clearing, where he had built two snow forts, which closely resembeled those dueling pedestal things. A tarp covered some sort of large object to the side, near where Mokuba stood. He was dressed as a cheerleader, with the KaibaCorp logo displayed on his torso.
"Yay, Big Brother! Rah, rah, rah!" Mokuba bounced up and down. Everyone got giant sweatdrops. Kaiba and Yugi stood behind their giant icey fortress things.
"Yugi, we each start out with a gigantic pile of snowballs. First person to lose feeling in their body and end up with frostbite loses." Kaiba crossed his arms, looking confident.
"This seems really stupid," Anzu whispered to Jounouchi.
"Just watch." He replied.
Yugi's Millenium puzzle glowed. "Yuki-ohhhhhh!!"
There was that spiffy transformation sequence, however where Yami Yugi usually had lightning bolts in his hair, there were white icicles.
"Allright, Kaiba. Time to snow-duel." Yami spoke cooly, his voice having gotten all sexy.
"I choose the big hulking snowball, in attack mode!" Kaiba yelled, before picking up the biggest snowball nearby and hurling it at his head. Yami was hit full-on.
He recoiled with impact. His face stinging, he wiped the cold substance off. "Your underhanded snow methods have gone on long enough, Kaiba! Time to teach you about...THE HEART OF THE SNOW!"
Kaiba blinked. "What the HELL?"
"That's right Kaiba! Now I play icey rock snowball, in attack mode!"
Kaiba shrieked like a girl as he dodged the snow-covered rock which whizzed by his head. "Good move, Yugi, but not good enough! I play the decent-sized snowball, and use this magic card to turn it into yellow snow!"
"WHAT?!" Yami gasped. Kaiba grinned evilly , turned around, and did the obvious. "This game is mine, Yugi!" Kaiba exclaimed insanely, throwing the nasty yellow snowball.
There was another amazing split-screen gasping effect. Could Yamii stand up to Kaiba's assault?!
No! The snowball nailed him right in the chest. Yami made a face in disgust. "Ugh! Kaiba, that's disgusting!"
"That brings your snow points considerably down, Yugi! So much for your heart of the snow!"
"I'm not giving up yet, Kaiba! I still have this!" Yami lifted up a snowball the size of a canteloupe.
"Good snowball, Yugi... but I'm ending this now!" With that, Kaiba jumped from his perch, and ran over to the giant tarp. Straining, he pushed the large thing onto the field, running back behind his snow fort. "Now, behold!" Grabbing a rope, he pulled off the tarp, revealing three ice sculptures. They looked exactly like Kaiba's favorite card. "The Blue Ice White Dragons! You have nothing in your pile that could possibly top my mad ice sculpting skills!"
"No way!" Jounouchi exclaimed.
"I had no idea Kaiba could ice sculpt," Honda commented.
"Of course he can! My brother's the best!" Mokuba waved his pom-poms.
"How can Yugi possibly top those!?" Jounouchi asked.
"He can't! He's doomed! Rah, rah, rah!" Mokuba did a flip.
"Mokuba is scaring me," Anzu whined.
"Although this snowball is very powerful...I'm going to need something better to defeat his Blue Ice!" Yami thought to himself. "I'm going to have to chance it."
Yami backed up, and then started throwing all of his snowballs into the center. Thousands upon thousands of snowballs flew into the air. Kaiba's eyes widened. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't like it. "No matter how many snowballs you throw, you can't match the awesome spiffiness of my blue ice dragons! Just give up!"
"I will never surrender, Kaiba! The heart of the snow guides meeee!" Yami continued to throw snowballs.
"That's a load of bullshit." Kaiba looked at Yugi like he was a complete dope.
"It is not!" Yami stuck out his tongue, making a razz. Kaiba smacked his forehead as Yami continued to pile on snow.
"Now Kaiba, look what I have made!" Yami pointed, after all of his snowballs had been used.
"No! It can't BE!" Kaiba backed up dumbfounded.
"It is! Exsnowdia!!" He struck v for victory pose, crowing over his giant Exodia snowman.
"That's impossible! Nobody can randomly throw snowballs and get Exodia!"
"Ah, but I have the HEART OF THE SNOW!"
"No, the writers just like you!" Kaiba denied.
"Now, Exsnowdia! Destroy the Blue Ice White Dragons!" Yami jumped off his snow fort and gave "Exsnowdia" a good hard kick. The snowman toppled over, falling full-force on Kaiba and his dragons. The dragons cracked. 15 minutes later, Kaiba emerged from the snow, freezing.
"Wahh! Now I'll never win the ice sculpting contest!"
"Well, that was fun. Time for a musical number!" Yami exclaimed. A disco ball lowered from the sky, and everyone began to do a little dance. Yami began the song.
"Well, I win yet again, and again, there is a heart of the snow!"
"Oh no! I think Yugi must have divine intervention, when will I know?" Kaiba sang, looking OOC.
"Mokuba's a cheerleader and it is very frightening!" Anzu sang.
"Why does Yugi's hair magically get icicles and lightning? Rah!" Mokuba joined in.
"Jounouchi looks so sexy to-daaaaay!" Honda crooned.
"I am going to have to run away! Far awaaay!" Jounouchi sang, before fleeing as everyone went into the chorus.
"We're stuck in a horribly written fanfic, oh what shall we do? We have to randomly sing a song, at least there are no Mary-Sues, Out-of-character-ness is prime, And we aren't good at making rhymes, What the hell is the heart of the snow? Do we even want to know?"
And then everyone spontaneously combusted. The end!