A/N: *shrugs*

Disclaimer: If I were the owner of the PJO books, Thalia and Reyna would be a thing.

Title: at first you don't succeed

Words: 524

Summary: Four attempted dates Nico and Will tried to have, and one that they succeeded at. Trials of Apollo spoilers.

i.

"Is that a naked statue of your dad?" Nico pointed out.

Will became very silent and afraid.

"I think it's heading toward us."

He put the oars down. "I knew this canoe date was too good to be true."

And then the wave of water crashed over them.

ii.

Austin sneezed again and again. "Don' mind m—achoo!" He rolled over and moaned pitifully into a pillow. "Schupid Dad and his schupid plague arrow."

"Tell me about it." Will nodded next to him. He sneezed into a tissue that was added to the growing pile at the end of his bed. He looked down at the floor. "You alive?"

Nico groaned, speaking through a heavily congested voice and many layers of blankets. "I'm dying."

"He's alive," Will told Austin. Nearby, Kayla gave them the thumbs up from her bed.

"I'm never kissing you ever again, Solace!"

iii.

They were both hiding in a tree, watching the murderous (and reborn) unicorn hack at the wood with its very sharp horn.

"Think of the children," Nico mimicked Will's southern drawl. "Golly gosh, they shouldn't have to deal with a dead unicorn." He was still dangling safely from a lower branch.

Will's bright head of hair popped out from the green leaves and red apples. "How many times do I have to apologize?"

The tree shook.

The zombified unicorn let out an unearthly shriek of pure terror.

Nico thought about it. "Until someone arrives to save us."

iv.

"Heeey," Nico mumbled. Glaze-eyed and face full of colour, he started clapping as if a play had just finished preforming at the infirmary. "That's my boyfriend, everyone."

There was a chorus of dazed cheers from the cots around him.

Will glared at his dad. "How much of the poultice did you give him?"

"Um." Apollo looked down at the clipboard, suddenly mystified about what was written. "Well. This could be a funny story."

"My boyfriend," Nico continued in a sing-song voice. "He might be really, really, really weird because he likes to go running in the morning, but he's not that bad, really." He did a dramatic pause. "But he could start wearing less ugly shirts."

Apollo swore that it was the most romantic declaration that he had seen in decades.

v.

"Is this really a good idea?" Will sincerely asked, looking up fro his half-eaten burger.

Nico nudged at their joined legs, the bronze braids that had them tied together were still intact after his earlier attempt of hacking at them with his sword. He pensively picked up a fry and dipped it in ketchup. "Why not?"

"Because I'm pretty sure we promised Chiron that we wouldn't end up in Peru," Will said.

"We never promised anything about taking a break from the three-legged race to have a date in Peru."

Will rolled his eyes, and Nico went on to finish eating his international McDonald's meal.