A/N: This is a story based ENTIRELY off of a dream I had about two weeks ago. It was so strange that I would have a dream about Cheers (a show I like but rarely watch), that I just had to turn it into a story. The dream made NO sense whatsoever, so I've done my best to make it at least a little logical. So I hope you'll forgive the strangeness of it! Plus, this is my first attempt at writing a Cheers-only story, so hopefully future ones will be better... and make more sense! LOL
"What's he doing in there?" Cliff asked; his eyes narrowing as Sam repeatedly went in and out of his office; each time carrying a handful of supplies and wearing a smile on his face.
Carla shrugged.
"Beats me, but then again, I never really know what he's up to. I don't think he does either; unless it involves a woman!"
Cliff and Norm laughed at Carla's comment. But when Sam emerged into the bar yet again, he barely gave his employees a passing glance.
"Hey Sam!" Woody called out to his boss.
"Mr. Peterman wants to know what you've been doing in your office! You keep coming in and out of there!"
Norm gasped in horror.
"Damn it, Woody! You weren't' supposed to say anything!"
"It's all right, Woody. You can ask all you want to." Sam said. "Doesn't mean I'm gonna tell ya!" he added with a laugh.
Once more Sam returned to his office; this time with the strangest looking apparatus that the Cheers gang had ever seen.
"What in the hell is that thing?" Frasier asked.
"It looks like some sort of oar; except with tennis rackets for paddles." Lillith observed.
"What genius thought that would be a good idea?" Carla asked.
"The genius who taught himself to row a boat during a tennis match!" Woody said wearing a proud smile. "Boy, I bet he's going to be insanely rich one of these days!"
Carla rolled her eyes. "Well, he's already insane!"
"That is preposterous!" Frasier observed. "Sam, you'll never get through the doorway with that thing in a horizontal position!"
But Sam tried anyway.
"Damn!" he swore when the tennis rackets slammed against the wall, almost knocking him down in the process.
"Sam, what is that ridiculous contraption for?" Lillith asked.
Sam looked up in surprise, pointing to the object. "Oh, this?"
"Yeah, that!" Cliff laughed. "What in the hell is that thing?"
"Oh... Well, this is something I use for... um..."
He smiled at the beautiful brunette who walked up to admire the strange object.
"Say... How'd you like to help me in here?"
"Really?" she beamed.
"Yeah, come on in!"
"Can I come?" A red head asked.
"Wait your turn, Honey. This won't take long." Sam said with a mischievous smile.
And with that, he closed the door.
The Cheers gang exchanged confused glances. And just as they were about to go to the door to eavesdrop, it opened again.
"All right. Who's next?" Sam called into the bar.
The red head smiled and took his outstretched hand, allowing her to lead him inside.
Noticing the gang watching him, Sam smiled.
"Don't worry. We'll be quick about it! Now get back to work!"
The gang scattered and did as Sam asked.
"Whoa! Something's going on in there!" Carla said.
"Ya think?" Norm asked, motioning for Woody to bring him another beer.
Just then, the front door opened and they all looked up in surprise.
"Hey! Where's Sam?" A beautiful blonde asked.
The gang exchanged worried glances and hushed whispers;
"It's Paula! What's she doing here?"
"We can't let her know about this!" whispered Frasier. "It could have lasting repercussions!"
"Know about what?" Paula asked. "Where is Sam?"
The bar grew eerily quiet, and no one said a word.
Well, almost no one...
"Oh, Sam? He's in his office!"
"WOODY!" They all yelled at once.
"Well why didn't anyone say anything?" Paula asked. "I mean, so he's in his office! What's the big deal?"
"Woody, you idiot! She wasn't supposed to know!" Carla yelled.
"Dear God!" Frasier exclaimed.
She'll be traumatized!" Lillith added.
Paula looked at everyone in complete and utter confusion.
"Why? What's the big deal? Of course he's in his office! I mean, he does run the bar!"
Woody shook his head. "No, I don't think you understand. He's in his office with a woman!"
"WHAT?" Paula yelled, noticing the long line of women waiting to get into Sam's office.
"Damn it, Woody! Why'd you have to go and ruin everything?" Carla yelled.
"Come on, Paula. Let's go knock some sense into Sam!"
Paula began to cry. "B-but..."
"Just come on!"
Carla emerged from behind the bar and dragged Paula to Sam's office.
"Now... When he comes out, you demand to know what he's been doing! Tell him that he's got some nerve going behind your back like this! Because to be perfectly honest, you're the only one of his girlfriends that I could ever stand for more than five minutes!"
"HEY!" Rebecca and Diane yelled as they walked through the front door of the bar. "We heard that!"
"What do you suppose Sam's doing in there?" Paula asked tearfully.
"You really want me to answer that?" Carla replied.
She turned to Rebecca and Diane. "By the way, how in the hell did you two get in here?"
Rebecca and Diane shrugged in reply.
Meanwhile, Paula continued to stare at Sam's office.
"You don't suppose he's in there... having his way with another woman, do you?"
"You mean like-."
"Don't say it!" Paula said, cringing. "But yes! Oh God... I knew this was too good to be true!"
Suddenly she began to sob into her hands.
"Dear God!" Frasier said rising from his bar stool and crossed the bar. Just as he reached Paula and was about to console her, the door to Sam's office opened.
Sam looked up in bewilderment to find everyone in the bar staring at him.
"What's going on?"
And then he noticed Paula.
"Oh, hey Darlin! What brings you here? God, I've missed you!"
He took her in his arms and attempted to kiss her but she forcefully pulled away.
"What's wrong Hon?"
"You know what's wrong!" She snapped.
"Um... No... I don't! What's this all about? Guys?"
He looked up at his employees in confusion, but they all turned their backs as though they hadn't heard him.
"All right, that's it! Everyone out! I want to talk to Paula alone here."
The women standing in line reluctantly left the bar and the employees went about their business.
"Are you going to be okay, dear?" Frasier asked, laying a gentle hand on Paula's shoulder.
"Will someone please tell me what's going on?" Sam asked. "This is completely nuts!"
"You've got some nerve!" Paula yelled.
Frasier looked uncomfortably at his wife.
"You know... I think we'd better get going. I hope you two can work out your differences. Come on, Darling, let's go home and I'll show you that new book on psychoanalysis I was telling you about this morning. We can read it over a glass of champagne." He said guiding Lillith out of the bar; his hand on her back.
"Why Frasier, you're so romantic!" Lillith said with a grin. "I just hope my hormones can take it!"
When they were gone, Sam turned to Paula and took her hands. "What's this all about?"
Once more she started to cry. "Oh Sam, how could you... have your way with all of those women like that? I thought you loved me!"
"I do love you, Paula! Don't you remember last night? If that wasn't love, I don't know what is!" he grinned mischievously and kissed her.
"But if you weren't... what were you doing in there?"
"Oh, in my office? Well, let's have a look, shall we?"
He opened the door wide and allowed her to walk in.
"What do you think?"
She gasped in delight. "Oh Sam! It's absolutely beautiful!"
"Really?"
"Oh yes... I love it so much!
She turned and sighed when he took her in his arms kissing her deeply.
"Yep, it is pretty good isn't it? Didn't think I had it in me."
"I love you, Sam! I'm sorry for thinking-"
"It's all right, Paula. Don't worry about it. But you know what?"
"What, Sam?" She asked nervously.
He turned to face her and kissed her tenderly.
"I love you too."
They took one last look at the office and walked out of the bar; his arm around her shoulder.
Once they were gone, everyone snuck into the bar at once; Norm, Cliff, Frasier, Lillith, Woody, Diane, Rebecca and Carla, praying that they wouldn't be noticed.
"All right now." Carla whispered. "I'm going to open the door very slowly and we'll all peek inside, okay?"
"Oh for God's sake, Carla, just do it! Sam might return any minute and we'll all be in hot water!" Frasier yelled.
"Not me, Dr. Crane." Woody said.
Lillith and Frasier turned to Woody in amusement.
"Oh really? What makes you so special?" Lillith asked, crossing her arms.
"Oh, I'm not special, Dr. Sternin. I just prefer my showers warm, not hot!"
There was a collective groan before they all turned to Carla.
"Is everyone ready?"
They all nodded.
"Okay, let's go."
They tiptoed into Sam's office, their faces lighting up when they saw what he had done.
"Well I'll be darned!"
"Whoa!"
"Holy crap!"
"Amazing! I didn't think he had it in him!"
They all turned to one another in satisfaction.
"Well, at least we know he wasn't doing what we thought he was doing!" Carla said, shuddering at the image.
"Come on all... let's get out of here." Frasier said.
As they walked toward the front door, Carla walked back to the office and took one last look.
The transformation was amazing...
Gone were the boring white walls and institutional like setting. In its place, the walls were now painted a rich yellow-orange. And on the walls were pictures of the Boston Harbor and the public garden; but most notably was what hung by itself on the wall facing his desk; the strange tennis racket contraption. There was still a tag attached to the handle and Carla bent down to read it;
To Sam, love Paula. I made this just for you.
Suddenly Carla realized what had happened; the bright colors, neat and tidy work space and even a few flowers. These touches could only indicate one thing.
Sam was in love... really in love.
Carla turned out the light and laughed to herself.
"Good for you, Sam! It's about time."
THE END