We ne'er owned, we ne'er owned, we ne'er owned last year's Rent! Or the funny cameos from different shows.

A Bohemian Christmas Carol

By: The Phanatics

New York City, Christmas Eve, 1994 2:30 pm Eastern Standard time. I followed Roger to work for our unfair, yet keeps food on the table, jobs. We were living in shitty, yet nicer than our last, loft on the pay that kept us fed and provided the rent 99 of the time. Not only did Roger and Mimi in the last few years had four kids, Mallory and Megan, who were twins, born in 1989 from a different relationship of Mimi's, and their two sons, Peter and Tim, (called 'Tiny Tim' for short.) And Maureen and Joanne were living with us, along with Collins, who had almost gotten caught with the rewiring of the ATM at that food court.

Any way, it was another work our asses off Christmas Eve and our employer, was PMS-ing more than usual. His name, as the entire tenth heard of, was Benny Coffin III and he was an evil little man. He used to be our friend, but married Allison Gray of the West Port Grays. He basically was the modern day scrooge and everyone knew that he was a pretty damn hard ass and wasn't much of the nicest guy to be around. Sure he paid for Angel's funeral, but after Mimi left him, let's just say he was PMS-ing more often.

"Mr. Coffin," said Bob Crotchet, the poorest man in the working facility. Before I explain what he said to Benny, let me explain more about Bob Crotchet; he moved here three years ago from New Jersey with his wife, Emily, and their four children, Anthony, Belinda, Anna, and their youngest son, Tim, (also known as tiny Tim like our little Tim,). He came up to him, saying, "If you don't mind…" the poor man stammered with fear in his eyes. Benny looked at him with cold eyes and said, "Spit it out Crotchet," his eyes were spitting fire as the other workers, with the exception of me and Roger, were shaking-and yes I mean literally-shaking with fear. "I…err…was wondering if you could let us turn the heat up and…."

"And how would the rest of you like to be…UNEMPLOYED!"

The men immediately rushed back to their accounting quivering with fear. "God, Benny," said Rodger as he placed his coat in the closet. "What now, Mr. Davis, Mr. Cohen?" To the tone of his voice, we knew that the old Benny was gone and unless there was a miracle, I don't think he would be buying anymore AZT for his 'friends'.

"Since when are we on a last name basis," I asked placing my camera on my desk.

"Since I hired you boys at the beginning of this year…"

"Please Benjamin, you hired us because you wanted us to be more productive," said Roger, "That and you nearly caused Maureen and Joanne to live on the fucking streets…"

"How's Mimi been?" the sick bastard asked and you could tell he still had a small thing for her. And I am one to be over protective of my friends; especially the ones with AIDS.

"Not interested in you if that's what you freaking mean."

"Mark," whispered Roger as he grabbed me and said, "If you piss him off we may be the ones living on the streets."

"Fine, but what he does to Bob, you and everyone else really pisses me off."

"But the at least the money pays for the AZT and stuff."

"You, Mimi, and Collins are the only ones who need it."

"And I thank God every day that the kids didn't get the virus."

As we sat down to work, giving up the fight we had with our ex-room mate, we noticed Bob was counting the little money he had in his wallet. "Hey Bob," I called, "Are you a little low on cash there?" Bob, as many could tell was a very timid, quiet man with brown hair, tall and lanky, along with old glasses that you could tell were tapped so many times. "Yeah," he said shyly, "I'm trying to decide whether or not to put this money in the bank or to put it in the fund for Tim's surgery."

"What's wrong with him?"

"Apparently, he has an issue with his bone marrow and they need to replace it with another."

It occurred to me then that his child, his youngest child, had Leukemia and he needed the money to pay the bill in order to have the surgery. In times like these, I wish Collins was still here in the city, so he could give us the new code to the ATM at the food court so that way the money could be given to him. I looked into my wallet. There was only a fifty and a twenty in it. I noticed that Roger did the same thing too. We each gave him a fifty for an early Christmas gift. "Why don't you and your family visit us tomorrow for coffee?" I asked as I turned my camera off. Bob looked at me and said, "You sure? I don't really want my and I to be a burden."

"No burden," said Roger as he offered Bob a half of his corn beef sandwich.

The building we worked in was some what shittier than the loft we lived in. It looked nice on the outside, but inside, it was plain, smelled like rotten bubble gum, and was just a bad place to work. But the pay was nice, and we had an advance on our salary because Benny had the delusion that we were still his friends, when really, the entire tenth city, (or just those who worshipped Maureen), would spend half of their time trashing him and calling him "Benninizer Scrooge" or worse, "Stupid Ass Whore Monger," Yeah, he was a regular at the Cat Scratch Club. Usually, he would be bad for the whole of the year, but around Christmas…you'd better watch out kids because someone's coming to town and it's not Santa Claus. And people who worked for charity steered clear of the building, knowing of his bad temper.

As it came time for closing, I saw Benny look at the picture of Allison Grey, his late wife and partner. During the year Following Angel's death, she had suddenly found out that she had Marfain Syndrome, (A/N: Yeah the same thing that killed Jonathan Larson) and was too late for that same night, an aorta exploded in her heart. Roger went into his office, reminding him that it was closing time and such. "Fine, Davis," he said with no emotion. "Be here tomorrow by eight," We all looked at him with desperation, hoping that he wouldn't back down at trying to convince the Devil to give us the day off. With my camera taping the whole event, Benny then said, "Tomorrow is Christmas," said Roger as he looked at him with anything but fear in his eyes. "Fine," said Benny as he fixed up his papers, "eight thirty then."

"If you please Mr. Coffin, some of us need the time to see our family."
"I suppose you want the whole day off?"
"Since there's going to be no customers…yeah."

"Well…since you put it that way, I'll consider it, but I want you to work full tome next weekend."

We nearly cheered our socks off at this hint of generosity. But it ended abruptly when our evil boss yelled, "WOULD YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!" As the idiot left the building, Bob's friend, Mack, looked out the window and yelled. "Finally, he's gone!" The men started laughing with joy and happiness that would come to them the next day. In a rush, we cleaned the room with joy and fast paced movement and retreated home for the holidays.

As I turned my camera on, I could almost smell Maureen's turkey as well as my Mom's famous Hanukah chicken along with the matzo ball soup. As we got home, Mimi was cooking a small Hanukah Chicken. In our home, we celebrate both holidays now. Maureen and Joanne were filling out Christmas card as Mallory, Meagan, Peter, and Tim were decorating the tree, since we could finally pay for one along with the ornaments. The moment the kids saw Roger come in they screamed with joy, "DADDDY!!!!!!!!" I took out my camera quickly as the four kids crushed their father. When they had him in a dog pile, Roger squeaked out, "Ok, daddy needs to breath. Why don't you go bug Uncle Markey?" I placed the camera down and cried "What?" But it was too late; they cried out "UNCLE MARKEY!!!!!!!" and pinned me down. Maureen then got up and tapped it on my camera. "I'm defiantly sending this to Buzz Line, I can see it now: 29 Year Old Virgin Gets Pinned by Little Kids." Mimi then came out of the kitchen, wearing an apron that said, 'Kiss the Cook', on and complained, "Hey Maureen, not in front of the kids. Now can you help me out with the potatoes in the kitchen, you can help out too, Joanne,"

As the women cooked and the kids decorated the tree with popcorn strings, Roger dug around for the cartoon of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! While did that, I went to my closet to get the Chocolate coins, the menorah, the candles, the Yamahasthe daedal, and the copy of The Night Before Christmas. As I looked outside, I saw the snow fall and I said in my isolating thoughts, I hope you have a good Christmas Benny.