Disclaimer: I do not own any portion of The Big Bang Theory. Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady and Warner Bros. have that honor. This work is intended only as an homage to their creative genius and a salute to these characters that I love so much it's nearly worrisome.
"Maybe we could go for a hike?" Amy ventured.
"Be serious, Amy," Sheldon responded.
She sighed. "What? It's a lovely day, we don't have to stay cooped up inside," she shrugged her shoulders and tried again. "Ok, no hike, but it's only a short walk to the lake."
"You are aware that we are in the San Bernadino National Forest?" he continued to look at her like she was crazy.
"Yeah, I saw the sign as we drove in. So?"
"So, this area not only houses an alarming variety of typical forest fauna, but a sizable population of black bears and even wild burros."
"Sheldon, I don't think we're going to get attacked by a bear or a - uh - wild burro on the paved 100-yard path to the lake."
The couple were sitting on the couch attempting, without success, to ignore the telltale creak-creak of bedsprings emanating from the second bedroom down the hallway. Sheldon wondered yet again why he had agreed to accompany Leonard and Penny on this ludicrous "getaway". He didn't like vacations, didn't appreciate being out in the wilderness and had his reservations about staying in a cabin, let alone one by a lake. But Amy had somehow convinced him that - ah yes, Amy, that little vixen. That was why he had agreed to come along. That woman could make him do so many things he never believed himself capable of. No, not make him do things, he corrected, she never really made him do anything. She made him want to do things. When Penny had come home excited at having won her sales contest at work and earning a long weekend at Big Bear Lake she and Leonard had waxed poetic at the idea of spending time cozied up in front of a fireplace, or roasting s'mores at the firepit at night looking at the stars. Sheldon had rolled his eyes at these ridiculous notions of what passed for "romantic" and wished them well. But then Penny had noted that the cabin had 2 bedrooms and the included dining vouchers were for 4 people, and had invited Amy and Sheldon. He still didn't like the idea of a forest, or a cabin, or a lake, or, actually, leaving home at all. But suddenly, with Amy describing all the time they could spend together over the weekend, it actually sounded fun. Not that he had said that outright. His exact response had been "Well, I suppose as I have nothing else planned I shouldn't let my girlfriend venture off for a weekend with no more intellectually stimulating conversational partners than Leonard and Penny. So yes, I will accompany you, Amy." But secretly he thought he wouldn't mind a s'more or two. Or maybe even some stargazing. Sunset would be in about 3 hours. He would not, however, sit on the dirty logs that ringed the firepit in front of the cabin, no. He'd bring down a chaise from the deck - well, make Leonard bring down a chaise. Then he would sit with Amy nestled under his arm...Amy, who was talking to him again...oh...pay attention Cooper.
"Sheldon? Are you even listening?" Amy asked, having realized his mind was elsewhere.
He shook his head to clear it. "I apologize. What did you say?"
Amy wondered what he had been thinking about. Probably wishing he hadn't agreed to come. Truth be told, she had been surprised when he acquiesced to her request. As it was, she herself was beginning to regret coming. They had arrived late last evening, eaten a nice dinner in the resort lodge and gone immediately to bed, everyone proclaiming how tired they were. Going to bed, however, meant something quite different to Leonard and Penny than what it meant to her and Sheldon. They had quickly found that the charming log-style beds in the cabin were perhaps old enough to have been built by actual pioneers, and each metal piece protested loudly at nearly every movement their occupants made. And Leonard and Penny definitely made theirs move. Sheldon and Amy had barely entered their their room, having finished their pre-bed routines and wearing their pajamas, ready to attempt to sleep in the same bed for only the second time ever when the bed in the room next door began to groan and creak. The couple lay there in an uncomfortable silence, both trying to ignore the obvious. When the sound of voices was added, however, they jumped out of bed and headed to the living room which, thankfully, was far enough away to avoid the amorous couple's vocalizations, though the insistent metallic rhythm followed them. Amy, having never had a roommate, was shocked and slightly scandalized (not to mention a little jealous). Sheldon, being far too accustomed to this after years of living with Leonard, was merely annoyed. But having Amy there beside him, in bed no less, while it occurred had been different, in a rather unsettling way. And so they found themselves in the cabin's living area, making tea at 11pm and talking animatedly and rather more loudly than strictly necessary, unwilling to lapse into the silence that would leave the evidence of the activities down the hall as their only accompaniment. At last, quiet had returned and the exhausted couple had headed to bed, falling asleep easier than either had expected after staying up later than intended.
Amy had awoken early in the morning. She was not surprised to find that Sheldon had migrated to the very middle of the king-sized bed, as she knew that is where he was used to sleeping in his own bed. She was, however, surprised to find his arm thrown over her waist and his breath tickling her ear. She smiled and snuggled deeper under the covers, enjoying his closeness. It was the same way she had woken up the day after her birthday. I could definitely get used to this, she thought dreamily. However, his proximity and the recall to the events of that night were making her want to do more than snuggle, and she wasn't sure if he would be exactly comfortable waking up the same way they had the morning after, since that was a road they were not going down again for some time. She was just thinking that maybe she should slip out of bed before he woke up when the sound of the bed next door began again, making up her mind for her. By the time she had showered and dressed in the spacious main bathroom the cabin was once again silent and she began preparing breakfast for the two couples with the food they had picked up at the store on the way in the night before. Cereal for Sheldon, since it was Saturday after all, eggs and bacon for the rest of them.
After breakfast the four of them had headed back over to the resort's lodge, checking out the amenities like the pool and hot tub (no way Sheldon would go in there), the tennis courts (none of them played) and mini-golf, where the girls' team's laissez-faire style of playing for fun beat out the guys' physics-based approach of trying to calculate the requisite vectors needed to make each shot. They had eaten lunch in the lodge dining room again, and returned to the cabin, where Leonard and Penny had claimed they were "going to take a nap." Which brought them to now.
This time it was Amy who had become so lost in her thoughts that Sheldon had to rouse her from them. "Amy? Amy, can you hear me?"
"Oh, sorry, what?"
"Actually I was asking you what you just said. Do you feel alright?"
"Oh, yes, I'm fine, sorry, I was just thinking. Um...oh yeah, I said we could go out on the deck and read. I have some articles saved up that I've been meaning to get to. I promise I'll keep an eye out for bears and other wildlife."
Sheldon really didn't want to spend time outside, but as the creaking bedsprings sped up at that moment and got louder the idea became more attractive. "Alright, but if I get attacked by any rabid forest-dwellers it's on you."
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"Hey guys, look at you being all outdoorsy," Penny smiled from the open door of the cabin, taking in Sheldon and Amy who were both perched on chairs in the shady safety of the sun umbrella, reading scientific journals.
"Yes, well, as our residence was uninhabitable there was little choice," Sheldon responded crisply, rising from his chair. "Now if you're quite finished debauching the premises with your endless physical activities I'd like to find my Red Vines," he said in a huff, squeezing past Penny and entering the cabin.
"What's his problem?" Penny asked, sliding into the recently vacated seat next to Amy.
"Don't worry about it. Your bed is just kind of loud..." Amy offered sheepishly.
"Oh my god, can you hear it outside the room? It's loud in there, but I was hoping the walls were thicker than at home!" Penny grimaced. "Sorry!"
"I'm confident it can be heard in the lodge!" Sheldon's annoyed voice wafted out from the vicinity of the kitchen.
Suddenly Penny was less contrite and more annoyed. It was bad enough that she had to put up with Sheldon's whining at home, but this was her trip! She had him come at Leonard's suggestion and because she enjoyed Amy's company (and ok, because Bernadette was suffering so badly from morning sickness - or all day sickness as she called it - that she had said she probably wouldn't be able to enjoy the trip.) But that didn't mean he got to tell her what to do here, too. "Oh well," she called out breezily toward the cabin door, "that's what weekend getaways are for. You know, when you actually have a sex drive!" she finished snarkily as she slipped past a confused Leonard who was just emerging from the cabin, hair askew, with a grin plastered on his face. Her entrance into the cabin was quickly followed by the sound of a slamming bedroom door.
Leonard raised his eyebrows in question to Amy as Sheldon's retort sounded from inside "I though the stereotype was that people had less sex once they were married!"
Amy merely shrugged her shoulders and offered Leonard a small smile as she mumbled "Funny, and here I was hoping maybe some people had sex more often after they were married..."
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By early evening the tensions of the afternoon had blown over, as Penny had emerged to announce that their dinner reservation in San Bernadino was quickly approaching and it was an hour's drive to get there. She seemed to have let the earlier altercation drop and once Amy reminded Sheldon that the restaurant was just across the street from the San Bernadino History and Railroad Museum he perked up as well.
Dinner was a friendly affair and afterwards Sheldon and Amy explored the museum while Leonard and Penny strolled a nearby park. Sheldon made sure to read all the placards on the exhibits, but seemed to do so without his usual exuberance, and Amy was growing concerned. The feeling only intensified when he was silent most of the way back to the cabin, and while they gathered s'mores ingredients from the kitchen on arriving. When Leonard and Penny headed outside to build the fire in the firepit she saw her chance to speak to him privately. Amy crossed the kitchen to where Sheldon was breaking graham crackers in half and stacking them with pieces of Hershey bar. She laid her hand over his, stopping his momentum and making him turn to look at her.
"Can we talk about your argument with Penny earlier?"
"It's fine." Sheldon replied, turning back to his task.
"Sheldon, you know it doesn't matter to me what she thinks, right? All that matters is that the two of us are satisfied with how our relationship is going. No one else's opinion counts," Amy finished, smiling at him.
He gazed at her for a long moment, smiling slightly. She always made him smile, no matter what was going on. "I know," he replied, leaning over to give her a brief kiss before Leonard called to them from outside, asking if they were coming.
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The evening had finished wonderfully, with everyone eating their fill of sugary treats and Amy relaxing on a chaise looking at the stars with Sheldon's arm wrapped around her shoulder. Finally the fire had burned to embers and the couples cleaned up from their dessert and headed inside. Leonard and Penny quickly retreated to bed and Sheldon and Amy, both assuming the inevitable, stayed by unspoken agreement in the living room, afraid to go into their room with its shared wall. Amy was so happy from their evening of stargazing and cuddling that the idea of listening to another round from Leonard and Penny barely bothered her. She sat contentedly down on the couch and was surprised to find Sheldon wrap his arm back around her and pull her close. His lips tasted of chocolate as he drew them together and kissed her deeply. She expected him to pull back after one kiss (after all, their best friends could walk out at any second), but he didn't. If anything his kisses intensified and she soon felt herself swept away with desire. A desire she couldn't quench and though it was heavenly, she felt like she should stop this before she did something she shouldn't. The next time they both needed a breath she pulled herself back slightly and placed her hand on Sheldon's chest. "I had fun today," she said smiling at him. "Thank you for coming."
"As did I," he confirmed, beginning to lean in for another kiss. But Amy squeezed his knee briefly and stood from the couch, needing distance to maintain control over her hands. And lips. And body in general.
"I'm going to go make us some tea." She moved off toward the little kitchen.
Sheldon flopped against the back of the couch and stared up at the ceiling. She had pulled away again. She never used to pull away, but lately every time they were kissing like that, she ended it. He took a deep breath. His voice came hesitantly to her from the living room "Amy?"
"Mmmhmm?" she answered absentmindedly while filling the kettle at the sink.
"Do you remember what you said to me earlier? About my argument with Penny?"
"Yes," she answered, furrowing her brow. Was that still bothering him?
He continued nervously, "What if...just hypothetically speaking...wh-what if one of us wasn't satisfied?"
Amy felt a sudden iciness grip her chest and her eyes shot over to her boyfriend, finding his head downcast as he anxiously fidgeted with the couch cushion next to his leg. Setting the kettle aside she quickly crossed back to the couch and sat down beside him, pulling his hand into hers, imploring him to meet her eyes. "Sheldon, is something the matter? Did - did I do something wrong? Are you not happy with me?" her mind was racing a mile a minute. Everything seemed like it was going so well since their reconciliation. It had been without a doubt the 4 best months of her life and she had thought he felt the same way. Were they headed for trouble once again?
Sheldon looked at her in surprise, his hand squeezing hers. "Of course I'm happy with you, Amy. I'm happier than I've ever been before," he said with his trademark frankness.
Amy's heart rate began to slow as she smiled as his reassurance. "Then what's wrong? Why would you suggest you're dissatisfied?"
"Huh, saw through that one, did you?" he asked, not answering her question.
"Sheldon, you know you can tell me anything, right? If something is bothering you, I want to know. I need to know. Otherwise I can't make it better," she attempted to reassure him enough to get him to open up. She literally had no idea what he might be unhappy about.
The reticent physicist bit his lip and looked at the floor again before replying. "I'm sorry, I can't. Even discussing this is probably a breach of contract. Forget I said anything." He rose from the couch and went to the kitchen, picking up the abandoned kettle and setting it on the stove before pulling out two mugs and the box of tea they had brought with them.
Amy sat still as a statue on the couch puzzling over his comments. Breach of contract? Maybe this wasn't about them at all. Had something happened at the university? Or with the contract Howard, Leonard and Sheldon had entered into about their navigation system? That seemed the most likely, but then why bring it up now? No, he had used the term "satisfied." What on earth? Why was he so hard to read? "I'm sorry, Sheldon, but I'm confused. Is something wrong with your patent application?"
Now it was Sheldon's turn to look confused. "What? Heavens no, the design and application details came from my brain...that thing is slipping past hurdles like a greased pig at the state fair." The kettle began to whistle and he poured two cups, sinking the bags in and carrying both towards the couch.
Ignoring both his Texan description and the proferred cup she locked eyes with him. "Then what contract are you talking about?"
Sheldon sighed heavily, setting both cups on the coffee table. He sat down next to her again and paused a moment before offering a response. "Our verbal contract."
"We don't have any verbal contracts that I'm aware of," she stated simply continuing to stare at him, waiting for more.
Now he sighed again and rolled his eyes. "Of course we do. Don't you remember your birthday?"
"Oh I assure you that I remember my birthday. Every moment," she replied smiling broadly at him and winking.
Sheldon gulped visibly before replying. "Yes, well, then you should remember the verbal contract we entered into just after, well, you know...after I gave you your gift..." his voice trailed off...hoping she understood.
"Nope," Amy replied honestly. Truth be told she didn't remember there being much talking at all, at least in the aftermath. They had spent hours together, kissing, exploring, learning, discovering. Many words had been spoken in the before and the during, but the after was a pleasant haze of warmth and happiness as they cuddled in her bed, the last walls between them dismantled, having shared something they had never and would never share with anyone else. It was clear that they had both enjoyed it. Sheldon had even said - Ooooohhhhhh...Amy's eyes widened in comprehension.
"Sheldon, are you referring to when you said we would repeat the experience on my next birthday?" Why would he be upset about that now? Had he decided he did not, in fact, wish to repeat it? Was the idea of having to do it again already plaguing him as it loomed out there 8 months away? Amy's heart began to sink again. She loved him without question, knew there would never be another man for her, but what they had shared had been more wonderful than she could have imagined and she personally couldn't wait to do it again.
"Yes," he declared in exasperation. "But I told you, it would be a breach of contract for me to try to change the terms now and Sheldon Lee Cooper never reneges on a contract, especially his own."
Amy began to speak, intending to assure him that they didn't have to do anything he didn't want to do, "contract" or not. But he continued before she could utter two words.
"And besides, if there is one thing I learned about being a southern gentleman it is that a man should never pressure a woman for sex."
Wait...what?!
"Even if I want to do it right now, it would be improper of me to try to coerce you to change your mind just because of my own inability to control my carnal desires."
Huh? Desires? Coerce? Right now? Amy's mind, let alone her mouth, could barely form words. Did he mean? And he thought? Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Ok, this is Sheldon, let's be logical here. You can do this, Fowler. She took a deep breath before speaking.
"Sheldon, are you indicating that you are unhappy with the terms of our verbal contract?"
"I would not object to renegotiating them, but I'm not sure we left it open to change...it was pretty cut and dried," he mused with a hint of sadness.
"Well then I have good news for you," Amy smiled broadly. "I am declaring our contract null and void."
"You can't just do that, we were both a party to it," Sheldon looked aghast.
"Sheldon, are you aware that the neurochemicals released during orgasm cause the brain to behave in a manner similar to that of a person who has injected heroin?" Amy asked in her lecturer voice.
"I am," he confirmed. "And furthermore I know that that effect lasts...oooooohhhhhhh..." now he looked at her with wide eyes. She just continued to smile at him and slid her arm behind his shoulders. "So you're saying we weren't...that is...neither of us was legally competent to enter into a contract at that time?" He looked decidedly hopeful.
Oh my, how long has he been regretting that so-called "contract"? she mused. "That's what I'm saying. Non compos mentis," she fairly purred out the Latin term, drawing closer to him. "Which means now, we can do whatever we want, whenever we want..."
"So, there is no legal reason that we have to wait until your birthday to - " his voice was cut off by Amy kissing him. In an instant he was returning her kisses with equal fervor, dragging her body against him, picking up right where they had left off 10 minutes earlier.
It wasn't until Amy realized she was lying under him on the couch and Sheldon's hand was on her bare stomach moving upwards that she remembered where they were. As his mouth moved down to her neck she breathed out "Not here..." trying only halfheartedly to wiggle out from under him. Reluctantly he concurred and stood, pulling her off the couch but into his arms. He never stopped kissing her as they stumbled their way through the living room, down the hallway and through their door. Even the creaking of the bedsprings went unnoticed...those from the room next door, as well as their own.
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The next morning dawned too early as Leonard and Penny both sank, exhausted, onto the sofa clutching giant cups of coffee. Within moments the telltale creak-creak of bedsprings began emanating from the first bedroom down the hallway. "Oh my god, AGAIN?" Leonard moaned in exasperation.
"Maybe we could go for a hike?" Penny ventured.
Author's Note: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed. Reviews not only make me happy (not gonna lie!), they let me know if you like the kinds of things my brain comes up with and encourage me to write more!