CHAPTER 1: HONKING FOR LOVE

Maki Nishikino had woken up early for the first day of college. Her outfit had been picked out the night before- black shorts, black shirt, black throw, obligatory sunglasses- everything from her water bottle to her playlist for the train station had been picked out. Her breakfast was a smoothie along with greek yogurt, and had packed snacks for the day ahead. Maki's grades had always been good and u's had taught her so much about hard work, but this was the start of the life her parents had picked out for her from day one. This was it. No going back now. She couldn't so much as enjoy the scenery on the short ride in, the blossom-dappled shrines and rolling green hills that folded the tiny private college town in its agricultural embrace. Nor could she enjoy the rush of students that crowded into the partly-forested campus; the calls to friends from the previous years, the fresh smell of spring that covered the main courtyard. The dandelions were allowed free rein in the cracks of the brick path, the grass had been cut, the fountains were sparkling in full clear splendor. Maki noticed none of it.

Principles of biology was her first class, in a high red stone building covered in ivy. Don't think of Otonozaki. Maki looked to the sky, in the drowsy overcast day girls could be seen atop the roof eating, chatting together. Maki smiled, a bittersweet smile. Hanayo and Rin had gone to the same school in Tokyo- Hanayo for drawing, Rin had a baseball scholarship. Nico had offered to live together in Osaka but Maki had to turn her down. (Not that she didn't regret it every waking moment) Nozomi and Eli had a cute apartment in Akibara now, and Kotori, Umi, and Honoka had started their own little band, travelling around the world. Maki missed them and it ached, a hole in her chest when she saw a collection of girls walking together into the massive lecture hall. She'd had that for one brief moment. With the slightest sigh she took a seat in the back, eyes trained to her textbook, diligently making an outline of the projected lesson. Half an hour later the professor arrived, ten minutes following that students started trickling in. Maki watched at first. The girls in their cute clothes, the boys full of energy (and volume.) She stopped after seeing a bright young girl in a hoodie, orange hair, full smile. The girl was too much like Honoka and Maki had to turn away, least she remember the good times.

Maki would view that first week as the strangest blur later: the rush to classes, eating alone in the courtyard, the long walks around campus, hours in the library. After classes she'd find an empty choir room to play the piano. Just like the old days. It wasn't terrible. There was a comfort in repeating the old behaviors. Music and books filled her, kept her from drowning in this beautiful lonely place. Her schedule was a heavy one for a freshman. 18 credits. Even her father suggested she tone it down, learn to adjust to college before filling every waking second with classes and homework. What Maki couldn't bring herself to say was she couldn't imagine joining another club again, finding new people to talk to. Her lab partner was a pompous twit, her roommate in the apartment just as distant and cool as she was. Homework was always finished far too fast. Nights became flute sessions, rehearsing old dance chirographies in her room, notebooks full of half-finished songs. She would leave her windows open in the evenings, her delicate tunes carrying out into the wet spring air.

It was the middle of the second week before she noticed a certain voice in Principles of Biology that kept asking questions. It was basic stuff, things anyone who had paid attention to biology class in high school would have known, but… "But what do bacteria eat? The voice questioned, hand raised high. "Where they carnivores or herbivores? Bacteriavores?" The professor seemed amused the first Wednesday and threw chalk at her on Friday. By the second week he was looking murderous from under his cap of messy white hair.

"Of course aliens exist, professor!" the voice had piped up in a discussion of early life that had somehow led to a discussion of potential life on other planets. "How could they not?"

The wizened professor raised his eyebrows, a thousand percent done with the class at fifteen minutes in. "You look familiar."

The girl's voice got high. "Oh no, not me, I'm just a curious student…"

"Weren't you on TV…?" He adjusted his glasses, staring her down now.

"Ah! Gotta go, sorry prof! Catch you next time!" A rustle from the front, an orange-haired girl tripping up the elongated steps of the classroom. "I'll get the notes online!" The girl too wore sunglasses. Hair tousled into a bun. A scarf, covering her lower face. But Maki would have recognized that face, that bluster anywhere.

The face was unmistakably, without a doubt, Honoka Kousaka.

"I thought you were in the United States." was all Maki could manage between gasps. Hands on her knees, water bottle banging against her leg, out of breath from running up two flights to the roof. A caught heart, beating with an unpracticed body's blood. Honoka pounced, nearly tackling Maki in her energetic hold. "Woah, woah."

"Maki! I missed you so much! We haven't been the same without you! Our beautiful composer!" Honoka lifted Maki up in her arms. "Maki Maki Maki! Why didn't you tell me you went here? What are you doing out here anyways?"

Maki gave the best hug she could with her arms pinned by Honoka's bear-hug. "Is everything okay? What are you doing here?"

"Eh heh." Honoka smiled, a sheepish awkward smile that suggested more than her words did at times. The two girls sat on the roof's benches now, overlooking the college campus. Sunlight fell from dispersing clouds and hair glistened with golden highlights. Honoka's demeanor was every bit as fresh and shiny as she was when she was 16. They sat close together. There was something comforting in her presence. Still smelled of oranges and lemons, after all this time. It was the first time Maki had skipped class in her life and it hadn't even occurred to her. "The United States is a pretty wild place."

"What do you mean?" Maki took Honoka's hand unconsciously. "Did something happen?"

"They have archery ranges there. We took Umi to one in near New York between shows. She… she found a compound bow, Maki. We haven't seen her since." Her blue eyes looked as though they might burst. "I still blame myself."

"Where was Kotori?"

"She… works at a llama farm. Nothing but llamas. Kotori was foaming at the mouth until I let her go. Won't go home, neither of them will. I think they might try to become American citizens."

"That's ridiculous."

"They've started to talk about a legendary hunter, out in the East. With a beautiful voice that will kill the wildest beasts right from under your nose. She's been in magazines. Hunted animals they didn't even know existed."

"Umi…" Maki did not know how to feel about this. "Will they be okay?"

"I think! They're doing what they love!" Honoka gave her a big smile. Maki almost suspected it was forced. "So I decided to come back to Japan and learn something more about music. I think I want to teach kids music someday. Or make another idol group. Or lead a choir. Or just sing! I don't know. You'll join choir with me, won't you Maki?"

Maki couldn't help but smile despite herself. "Should we really be drawing attention to ourselves this way?"

Honoka readjusted her sunglasses. "We'll use aliases, of course! And it'll be totally different kinds of music than what u's did. No one will notice, I'm sure."

"Of course not."

CHAPTER 2: A HONK IN THE HAND IS WORTH U'S IN THE BUSH

Honoka shone in a crowd. There was a glow about her, something that drew the attention of everyone in the room to listen to her. Charisma, Maki thought. It was gentler than the stern poise of Eli, somehow more comfortable than Kotori's charm. Honoka was a leader. Even in the world of the tiny rural academia, far from the land of idols and pop culture, Honoka could charm anyone she talked to. They got lunch together every day after classes, and often girls of all ages surrounded her, swapping stories and passing notes and homework in a great buzz of networking.

Maki didn't care for the ardent voices that followed Honoka everywhere; the younger girls that looked up to her, the older girls that regarded her as some kind of ingénue. She was touched but annoyed, she should say, it was hard to get a word in when half the freshman class seemed to share their lunch table. Soft perfumes, candies, and laughter. Maki rolled her eyes but tried to keep up with the conversations. What Maki hated most was the envy on the more serious girls' faces, or those that disregarded Honoka as stupid for her energy and kindness. Maki would move towards her side protectively, when her snide lab partner said something dismissive or in their shared class discussions or in the café the biology class would often frequent. Whether it was effective or not, Maki could not tell. She'd been told she had a scary resting face more than once. Time to use it.

"Why are you in biology, anyways?" Maki asked after particular rough quiz. (Honoka was having trouble remembering the terms of the plant organs.) "You're music ed. You don't have to do any of this." The girls were walking to the train station, Honoka's stop just before Maki's. A thin slice of moon rose above whispering boughs that lined the cobbled street. The stars were brighter here, brighter than Maki had ever seen. They twinkled a distant blue-white from light years away.

"Eh hehe well, um, I signed up so late there weren't any other science classes left," Honoka put her arms behind her head, posture loose and lazy as they drifted along the road. Maki could not help but envy her open body language. She longed to move with each whim, every step careless and easy. Fingers were twirled in her hair now, averting her eyes away from Honoka. "Everything happened so fast, and my mom recommended this place. Said they had a good music program."

"I'm surprised you didn't just keep trying to be an idol." They met eyes for a brief second, the stars reflecting in Honoka's cornflower eyes. Maki blinked, the bright color startling her.

"Well…" Honoka looked down at the ground. "I guess, I want something I can count on. u's was my whole world and I loved it so much, but our little band wasn't the same. They're my best friends, Maki. And they've got to do what they love. I can't regret showing them their dreams. But I've got to pursue my own, and that's music itself. And if I'm gonna make it big, I'm going to need to learn more about music."

"I…" Maki knew Honoka was the most determined person in the world. She always had been, even at sixteen. What do you say to a force of nature, the heat of the sun that fed the plants and kept the planet warm? She was a flower and Honoka was a ball of gas that the planets revolved around. "That's a wonderful dream, Honoka. You always chased after them. You even made ours come true."

"You're gonna make me blush!" Honoka waved her hands in front of her face, flustered. The moon's curve followed her head, as if it were a halo. "You're pretty great yourself, you know!"

Maki just smiled. "We're going to go over my science notes tomorrow. Be prepared."

Nico would call, sometimes, in the later hours of the weekends. Slurred words, grumbling of workloads, rumors of a strange sniper in American, nostalgia for the days at Otonozaki. Her first phonecall had been a godsend, her fifth drunken phone call of "fuck communications I wish my life was over I should have been a professional idol, what's a beautiful girl like me doing in this backwater town" was starting to worry Maki. Would this be her fate, too, three years into pre-med? Maki told Nico to stop drinking after the second incident; to get her notes and quit complaining. Nico had told her to go fuck herself.

Weekends were still quiet. Maki had no desire to see the arcade, to visit the little village shops filled with candies and trinkets. Honoka had invited her out the first couple of times, but had stopped by mid-June, accepting the inevitable declined offer. Being social at school was bad enough. She had no desire to spend even more time with the strange girls, who always seemed to be whispering about so-and-so and so-and-so's hook-up last week. It drained her. Bed was far more seductive than any freshman's useless pawings. Her days disappeared at times, an alarm set for eleven suddenly became waking up at four PM. How did it happen? She didn't want to admit it to Honoka, but her refined, google-doc'd schedule had become far more makeshift as she found her hours eaten by the soft downy mattress. Labs that were scheduled to be written for two had suddenly become written in haste, even days or sometimes hours before they were due. Her pace felt sluggish. Med school felt like an eternity away from her busy work; years awaiting her began to pile above her head. Could she even cut it as a doctor? Maki tossed the lab report into the trash bin, turned out the light, and crawled into the covers with the sun still setting.

CHAPTER 3: THE HONK OF CONFUSION

A rainy June Sunday brought a study session, Maki insisting on five PM.

"Isn't that a little late for you, Maki?" Honoka asked, her questioning expression somehow reaching over the phone's receiver into Maki's head.

"Got a lot of papers to write. We'll get plenty done, don't worry. You'll be up for your piano class." Honoka had taken surprisingly well to the piano in her first months of learning. Maki had only given sparing advice, not wanting to overwhelm the girl, but Honoka had taken each piece of advice as grave instruction and practiced it continuously.

The study session started normally enough; snacks and flashcards. Honoka's apartment was bright, full of idol posters and maps and fluffy pillows. She even had the string of lights above her bed. Of course. Maki smiled and shook her head. They sat close together, Maki hiding the flashcard in her palm as Honoka screwed her eyes shut, trying for the life of her to remember the parts of a fern.

"…s…spores?"

"You got it, Honoka!"

Honaka grinned at her. Even as she'd gotten taller, her face slightly more mature, her smile hadn't changed in the slightest. Maki looked away, feeling odd to dwell on Honoka's unadorned lips. (Maki had put on a coat of lip gloss before coming over.)

"What's next?"

"Well, the study guide says we should go over chapter three and four for tomorrow…"

"Right! We'll tackle those worms and jellyfish!"

"Hopefully not literally."

The book felt like a massive weight on her lap. Tiny text on thin paper should be a sin, Maki thought. Honoka read with her finger under the characters, mouthing the inscription under her breath. The pressure shifted along with her hand that was trailing slowly along the page and Maki couldn't help but notice each passing motion. Honoka's recitations were shockingly close to her ears and Maki blushed, remembering their high school days- how the older girl got her to listen to START: DASH! all those years ago. Maki crossed her arms. It was so stupid and she could feel the blood rushing up and-

"Have you heard from anyone lately?" Honoka interrupted her thoughts with a hand on her arm.

"Nico mostly." Maki pretended she didn't see her friend smiling. "Rin and Hanayo check in here and there."

"Oh, I was wondering if you'd heard from the other third years. Ah, guess we shouldn't call them that anymore, huh?" Honoka smiled at her with that dopey wonderful grin. "I haven't heard from Eli in awhile."

"Huh. Wondering what she's doing." Nozomi had sent her an email a few weeks back, Maki hadn't had the energy to respond or even to open it.

Honoka looked a little uncomfortable. Uncharacteristically, her bright hair was falling in her eyes, glance firmly fixated upon the floor. "I'm sure she's happy, wherever she is." She grabbed a chip out of the anime-girl covered bag. Her chewing seemed forlorn as she stared out in overcast night sky. The leaves rustled, a cool air seemed to rise from the depths of the earth and into the tiny college student apartment.

"If anyone can take care of herself, it's Eli."

Honoka gave her an unconvincing smile. "Yeah."

The younger girl sat back on the bed, the strangest feeling passing through her. Was this what their charmed group as to become, a collection of strangers that had all joined hearts in singing once upon a time? Had her music truly joined them together? She closed her eyes. The pound of rain had begun to dance over the windowpane. What could she do now, anyways? Maybe she'd text Nico in the morning. Maybe she'd work up the energy to check her emails, to respond guiltily to Nozomi.

To Maki's surprise, the older girl flopped down next to her. Her orange hair contrasted with the bright teal pillow she rested upon. "You think everything will be okay, Maki?"

"You saved the school, Honoka. You can do anything," Maki didn't know if she believed herself. She gave Honoka a slight pat on the head. "Maybe we'll invite everyone over some time. Except for our Americans."

Honoka snorted. "From sea to shining sea."

Maki wondered if her fingers could soothe Honoka's troubles. Her palm wandered over the crown of the other girl's head, fingers running through the thick, slight waves. Honoka's hair had gotten longer in the three years, a little darker but still vibrant. It made her look older, more mature. "It'll be fine, Honoka. Despair doesn't suit you." She followed the orange strands down her neck, her back, gently stroking.

"That… that feels nice, Maki... you're gonna put me to sleep."

"Good, you worked hard today."

"Scratch behind the ear, okay?"

"Whatever you say."

A snoring told Maki Honoka had fallen asleep. She smiled. Her work had been done. The rain was making Maki feel sleepy herself, her eyes getting heavier. The book in her lap was ball and chain, the flashcards looking menacingly at her. She put the book down, put the notes back in her bag, flipped the light off, pulled one of Honoka's blankets over her. She'd just put her head down for a minute, surely Honoka wouldn't mind….

Maki had just reached the threshold of sleep when she heard Honoka's voice mumble in the darkness.

"Don't… don't shoot, Umi…."

Chapter 4: The Honk of Swords

an interlude

The sink was full: overflowing tea cups, red-stained plates, bowls full of suds rather than the delicately crafted miso soup Nozomi had mastered during the long winter months in Sapporo, forks incrusted with take-out. Remnants of a wild night in. A single glass… toy… floated above the Russian serving dish Eli's grandmother had gotten for them. Nozomi, for all her worries, couldn't help but grin. Sin always rose to the top.

It was morning, or something like it between the lazy hours of ten and one. Rain. The flowers on the railing would like that. Rider pressed into her legs, an urgent, almost human meowl. Her bowl was empty and she hadn't been paid attention to in at least three hours.

Eli was already gone. In the beginning she had left notes, scribbled hearts on the dry erase board. Now Nozomi was lucky for a blurred goodbye kiss in the early moments of the morning. A sigh. She started to scrub away at the teacup-turned-shot-glass.

Nozomi and Eli lived in a nice neighborhood in a nice apartment. Nozomi thought it was what she always wanted. They'd gone antique shopping together, for spirit's sake. (Tiffany lamps, hand-carved bookshelves, a teacup set.) They ate together. They slept together. What more could Nozomi want? She told fortunes for a living now, in the comfort of an office across the street. The shrine was doing well. Sometimes when she felt lonely, she'd sing at open mic nights at bars and the crowds would cheer for her. Like old times.

What Nozomi wanted, she supposed as she wiped the washcloth over the many ridges of Happy Maker, was to understand what her girlfriend actually did for a living.

Eli had started in "the family business" when they had graduated. They'd both gone to the same college but Eli had dropped out after a few semesters, the workload between work and school was too great. Night after night she'd come back into the dorms with thicker accents and misplaced words. A few words in Russian, a few words in English. Vodka on her breath. Nozomi didn't think much of it at the time; college is college, right? But it continued from their first apartment in Akibara to the refined building in Sapporo. When asked where she went or what she did, Eli shrugged off the questions as "paperwork" or "boring business things." There were conferences all over Europe and odd phone calls in English at strange hours, but any talk of business beyond the vaguest way seemed to evaporate immediately.

Eli had plenty of money and always seemed tired at the end of the day, so Nozomi assumed she actually was making money in some regard. But it was hard not to worry. An affair? A sugar momma? But her cards never showed her any of those melodramatic sword cards that indicated heartbreak. No three of swords, no nine or ten of swords. No devil, no tower. Eli's card was usually the page of swords. Watch and wait, the cards said. Listen. Support. Don't do anything rash. But how to wait when Eli came back smelling of strange perfume and whispering English in her sleep?

The dishes were done. Nozomi had been washing the last glass for five minutes. Worry worry worry. She'd get a shower. Feed Rider. Lunch. Prepare for the newest batch of clients. Check her email. Wonder about the state of the world and her relationship. Make dinner. Hope her beloved came back sober and speaking Japanese.

An 8-bit Snow Halation hummed from the bedroom. Her cell phone. Nozomi picked up it without wondering why they hadn't left a message at the office.

"Fortune's Favors, this is Nozomi speaking."

Nozomi did not expect the voice at the other end. It was high-pitched, and a pinched, wavering feeling made her wonder if the girl had been crying. "Nozomi? I need your help. I need to know if you know. You have to know. You have to help, please."

It was Kotori.

CHAPTER 5: Heart Full of Honk

The light had turned golden when Maki reached the campus. In a few hours, the sun would set and the stars would come out in their calm glow. There was a nostalgic softness in late summer afternoons, and it seemed a pity to spend it indoors. If only she could take a piano outside.

Someone was already playing the piano. The notes seemed in tune with the way the leaves rustled, their shadows that moved in the wind's lifting presence. A warm wind, a mistral. Indistinct singing accompanied it. Maki through the courtyard with its stone garden and fountains and into the arcade of the building. The singing was in English. She only knew a few words here and there- kiss, time, heart- she'd really have to brush up on her English next semester. Was it Honoka? The voice was distorted through the walls. As she approached the other students' musical pursuits drowned out the song. A curly haired boy with a violin, a blonde at the piano, arguing in low whispers over their arrangement; students on horns and guitars, a few girls singing in a classroom; a redheaded girl with a darker shade than her own bolting for the building's exit. Maki raised her eyebrows. It seemed rather busy for a lazy Tuesday evening.

The classroom was silent when Maki found Honoka, aside from the rustling of papers. Honoka was poised. Intense. Back straight, hair tied into a loose ponytail, eyebrows furrowed. Her features were doing that thing when she was determined about something, giving the sheet music a fiery gaze.

"What are you working on? I heard someone playing earlier, was that you?"

Honoka turned around faster than Maki had ever seen, eyes wide, gasping.

"Maki! You scared me!"

"You were really studying hard there."

"Y-yeah…" Honoka collected the sheet music, stuffing it into her orange binder. "Sometimes I get really caught up in what I'm doing, you know?"

"I know," Maki smiled. Honoka was taking this seriously. "Move over, we've got some songs to practice." The older girl made room on the bench, but their legs were still touching. Maki pretended she did not notice this. It was too hot for sexual tension, she told herself. When their hands bumped over the keys, Maki thought of plant classifications and the parts of the cell. Anything but the chemistry she did not understand.

McDonald's came after practice. For once Maki did not complain but followed Honoka with an odd excitement. Honoka would almost always want to hang out aside from when she was busy with studying or practicing, but Maki still felt odd with just the two of them sometimes. She always dressed nice, but lately she had worn especially nice things whenever they went out together. Today was a striped red dress and a pink cardigan with pearls. I'm just making myself look nice. I've been in a funk. This doesn't mean anything. Honoka would never notice anyways.

The last rosy fingers of sunset had dimmed when they sat down and Maki ignored the pang of coldness that accompanied her in those moments. There was just this certain slant of light that hurt and she did not understand it. It was just a damned ball of gas in the sky. What did it have to do with her mood? It had been a nice day before. She took a sip of her Vitamin Water. At times she wished she drank, if only to brood over something.

"Hey Maki," Honoka stuffed a chicken nugget into her mouth. "You look nice today." Another nugget. Ranch on this one. As if Honoka didn't just show proof that she paid attention to her.

"Um, well, thank you…" A long gulp of Vitamin Water this time. A few bites of the grilled wrap. Glance at the phone, don't want to look desperate. "Just threw some stuff on, you know?" Maki had spent an hour on planning and make-up.

Honoka looked impressed. "I wish I looked as pretty as you do that easily. Then I couldn't sleep as late, though. You're really pretty, Maki."

"I know." Finished the wrap. Looking away.

Honoka chomped a chicken nugget with barbeque and started on her burger. How did she eat so much? "And so confident! No wonder you were such a good idol."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Honoka."

Maki stared at the stars on the train, watching the moon's hazy reflection on the glass. She knew most people thought of her as pretty. She was pretty: it was a fact. It didn't count. Appealing features and nice clothes equals attractive. None of it was hers. Rather a lucky roll on the genetic lottery and a rich set of parents. Anyone would be confident with such a fortunate upbringing.

Why do you do this, Maki? Honoka thinks you're pretty. Enjoy it, a quiet voice said. Because I don't deserve it, was the overwhelming majority of her brain. Because Honoka worked to be where she is. I existed and was granted talent. The moon disappeared between the buildings and trees, and when she arrived home the night was dark and overcast.

Maki tried not to think of Honoka when she went to bed. Her casual touches that meant nothing. Their laced fingers were fingers of friendship. Did Honoka even like girls? Did Honoka even like anyone? At times she wondered if Honoka had a thing for Kotori or Tsubasa, but she doubted it. Nico had insisted everyone in u's was a lesbian. "You know Rin is in love with Hanayo, right? They're both too dopey to ever ask each other out, but you know, right?" Maki had rolled her eyes but it seemed plausible. Maybe she'd text Nico about it. Nico knew these things.

It was only as she drifted to sleep that she remembered the two-second fear in Honoka's eyes on the piano bench.