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Coulson stared down at his new bionic hand. It had a few updated features, and it was realistic enough that he could wear it without a glove. But even with the modifications he'd requested, it still felt too much like his old one.
They'd all asked about it, of course. Everyone except Fitz, who'd been carefully avoiding him. Phil knew that the young scientist had still cared about Ward. Even with everything he'd done, Grant would always be the big brother Leo never had. He'd believed that there was still good in the Hydra agent, and a few days after they'd returned from Maveth, Coulson had found him asleep in the lab, holding a photo of himself and the specialist. It sent the first spasm of regret through the Director.
Daisy had immediately sensed that something was wrong. She'd pushed Phil about his hand the next day, but he'd brushed it off, saying that it had been lost in a squabble. She knew he was lying, but left anyways.
Over the next week she'd gradually pressured Fitz about it until he finally gave in and told her. Coulson had watched through the security cameras. At first he thought she was hugging Leo in celebration, but then he saw her shoulders jerk slightly. That sent the second wave of guilt through him, and this time, it lingered for a while.
Two weeks later, Lincoln Campbell suffered the harsh bite of Daisy's words coupled with her seismic abilities. They'd all been relaxing in the living area of the base when the girl had suddenly stormed in and sent a shockwave towards her boyfriend. The blast hit him full-force and knocked him against the wall. She stalked up to him and held up a cell phone.
"This came for me in the mail today. Care to hear what it is?"
Pressing the play button, the team listened as what sounded like a recorded phone call was broadcast. Lincoln's voice alternated with another woman's, a girl no one had heard before. The two were discussing the details of a previous night spent together, as well as planning for a future one, with a damning "I love you" exchanged at the end. The young man's eyes widened in horror as Daisy dropped the phone and stepped back from him a little ways, her gaze cold.
"Daisy, I don't know who sent you that, but it's not real. I promise you, I never, ever said any of that. I don't even recognize that woman's voice!"
"Really? Because it sounds like you know her pretty well."
"Please, Daisy, you have to believe me! I would never-"
"No. Just... don't. I don't want your pathetic excuses or your whining. I mean, that's probably why mommy left you at Afterlife, isn't it? Because you wouldn't shut up when she told you to, even as a twelve year old."
The room was as silent as a crypt. Lincoln swallowed and lowered his eyes as everyone stared, mouths agape. Even Melinda looked stunned at the cruelty in Daisy's words.
"We're done, Lincoln."
She turned to leave, but a soft "no" stopped her.
"What?"
Lincoln looked up and held her stare. "No. We're not done. Please. Daisy, I love-
Another shockwave hit him in his chest before he could finish, shattering his ribs. He screamed as the girl made her way to stand over him, a few tears making their way down her cheeks.
"Don't you dare say those words to me. There were only three damn people I wanted to hear those from. One is alive but has no clue who I am, one is at the bottom of the ocean, and one is a corpse on a planet trillions of miles from here. You are none of these people. You do not get to say those words to me."
As Simmons rushed to help the injured Inhuman, Coulson stared disbelievingly at Daisy, who met his gaze with a bitter smirk and a flex of her left hand.
"Oh, would you look at that. I think I just turned into you."
She then glided out of the room as though nothing had happened.
After that, Daisy stopped smiling, except for the occasional chuckle Fitz was able to coax out of her. She didn't apologize to Lincoln, even when Simmons told her that the phone call had, indeed, been faked. She spent most of her time between her electronic devices or the gym, and never ate with the rest of the team. It was like she had completely shut down her emotions, though May once caught her sobbing against the punching bag. Coulson kept thinking about what she'd said to him.
She had assured him that she hated Ward, but her recent behavior displayed otherwise. Especially the incident with Lincoln. Phil wouldn't voice it, but he had a sad suspicion that it had been Daisy that created the phone call, just so she could break up with him in a cruel way. Melinda had also told him about how she'd seen the girl crying while leaning against the punching bag. He knew the significance of the piece of equipment.
When Lincoln had healed, he tried to reconcile with her, thinking maybe she had just been overly upset. But she just gave him a half-smirk and folded her arms across her chest.
"I broke every single one of your ribs and don't regret it, Campbell. What does that tell you?"
He was speechless, hearing her use only his last name. It wasn't the last time.
That was how she addressed everyone. Campbell, Morse, Simmons. Everyone except Coulson. She didn't even use his name, just "director." And she couldn't speak to him without glancing at his mechanical hand at least once, though doing so made her look as though she wanted to puke. Every time she did, another pang of guilt went through him, and they were getting stronger. They also wouldn't go away.
Once, she fell asleep in the gym. Phil had started to make his way down the stairs to wake her, but what he heard her mumbling froze him. It was a name. His name. It sounded like she was begging, a single bead of water making its way down her face. Then she was saying "Ward," asking him to wake up. And then the three words she'd condemned Lincoln for trying to say.
"I love you."
He didn't wake her. He couldn't. He hated himself, what he'd done. All in the name of vengeance.
It was his own fault, really. All of it. There was a time when Grant had been sorry, when he'd tried to make amends. And what had Coulson done? Thrown him to the wolves. His mind flashed to a certain redhead. Where would S.H.I.E.L.D be if he had done the same thing with Romanoff? While it hadn't been his decision, he had put in a good word for her, and that was what had secured her life. Where had that compassionate Phil Coulson gone?
On his way back to his bunk, he'd run into Melinda, who had seen the hollowness in his eyes and known that something had happened. She put her arms around him, and he welcomed her, his mind spinning as the weight of his actions crushed him.
"What have I done, May? What have I become?"
The woman just held him.
It didn't take long for Daisy to resign altogether. Three months to the day after they'd returned from England, she'd thrown her badge on Phil's desk.
"I'll be out of here in three hours," was all she said.
The team had gathered in the garage to see her off. In her arms was a small cardboard box, containing all of her personal items.
She had told the director that someone was picking her up, though she hadn't said who. Coulson ran potential people through his mind. Miles Landon? An old foster family member? Some friend from The Rising Tide? The list wasn't long.
A beige SUV pulled into the large space, and for the first time in ages, Daisy smiled. The jaws of the rest of the team dropped when they saw who emerged.
It was a man in a white lab coat, "Dr. Winslow" embroidered on the breast pocket. He grinned when he caught sight of the girl, and she began to make her way over to him.
"It's good to see you again dad," she said, shocking the people around her. Calvin took the box from her and put it in the backseat, then kissed her cheek.
"It's good to see you too, sweetheart. Should I introduce myself, or do you just want to leave?"
"No, no, I think we should stay for a minute. Just so they don't think I'm running away with a complete stranger."
The two laughed an identical laugh, then Daisy put her arm through her father's and stood before her former friends.
"You guys, this is Calvin Winslow. He's a Veterinarian in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. I messaged him a couple of months ago with questions on becoming a vet-tech, so we met up a few times and sorta became family. He's offered to let me stay with him while I finish school, and has a job waiting for me in his clinic."
"Yes, I'll take good care of her, you've no need to worry," Calvin said, holding his hand out for Coulson to shake. The S.H.I.E.L.D Director took it, finally composing himself and smiling.
"I'm sure you will," Phil replied, though Daisy could see the falseness of his expression.
After introducing himself to everyone, Cal told his daughter that he would wait in the car while she said goodbye. She nodded, saying she would be quick.
There was a definite order to how she said her farewells. She started with Simmons, then Bobbi, Lance, Joey, and May. She smiled and hugged Fitz, promising she would keep in touch with him.
"You need to get yourself a monkey and come see us in Wisconsin! It'd be so much fun working with a monkey!"
The engineer laughed and held her tightly for a moment. "You know what? Maybe I will. Either way, I'm glad you found what you were looking for. We're gonna miss you, Daisy."
She nodded, then moved on to Lincoln, who was doing an excellent job of examining the floor. She sighed.
"You know I... I was the one that made the phone message. I didn't want to break up with you for no reason, so I created one. I'm sorry."
He looked up at her, his eyes glistening. Daisy placed a hand on his cheek.
"I'm sorry I broke your heart, and ribs. I'm sorry I let this go on for so long. I'm sorry I couldn't give you what you gave me. I'm sorry for everything, Lincoln Campbell."
A quiet sob escaped him as he wrapped his arms around her and spoke.
"You know, I really liked hearing you say my name. It's weird, but there was something about the way you said it. It sounded so nice coming off your tongue, even though I normally hate it."
The girl gave a small, sad chuckle.
"It's just a name."
He dried his eyes and stepped back.
"Names are important, Daisy. They make us who we are, shape us. We carry them with us our entire lives. We grow around them, and sometimes we change them. But a name is the only thing we really have in the end. Don't ever forget that."
A lone tear slipped down her cheek as he cradled her face one last time. She stared into his silver irises.
"Goodbye, Lincoln."
Phil had been stoic, watching her say farewell to the rest of the team. But the absolute iciness in her gaze when she looked up at him was enough to break his countenance. She stepped close to him so he could hear her whispers.
"Speaking of names, yours is one I desperately want to forget, but won't be able to. I'll be walking down the street, and I'll see a picture of Steve Rogers, or a red car, and all I'll think of is Phil Coulson. And I'll think of all the mistakes you made when handling Grant, how even when he was trying to help, you showed absolutely no mercy. I wonder what Natasha would've done, had she been in your shoes."
Daisy lowered her voice even further, so that he could barely make out her words. He wished he hadn't been able to.
"I never want to see you again."
She began retreating towards her father's car, as Coulson's chest tightened in that now-familiar way. The imaginary bands around his ribcage contracted with every step she took, when she climbed into the vehicle, and when the SUV pulled away.
Beside him, Lincoln tried to keep himself together before making his way to his bunk. Phil stared at the place where the beige car had been for a long time, then headed to his office.
Sitting at his desk, he looked at a framed picture of Daisy and Grant, taken just before the Hydra ordeal. Usually it brought him some sort of comfort, seeing how things had once been. Now it just taunted him with what he'd lost.
Laying the photo on its face, he put his head in his hands and sobbed.
What's in a name, that some, when spoken, will drive us mad?
~Fin~
