Disclaimer: They all unfortunatly belong to Rowling, but I'm borrowing them cause I looove them. They're the best. No profit intended. Just enjoy. Please R&R.
The Smell:
What on earth was wrong with me? Except for the fact that I had a little hairy problem…but I'd had that since I was 6 years old, nothing new there. But now, my body was going on a complete and utter hormonal rampage. I swear today was turning out to be the worst day in the life of Remus Lupin.
It had all started of perfectly in the morning. Sirius had jumped on my bed as usual…as he did every morning just to annoy me, stupid idiot.
"Wakey wakey Moony. It's Saturday…marauding time. Lets get Snivellus." I could practically feel my eyes rolling round, why on earth they always had to "get Snivellus" was beyond me. Wasn't the poor guy's fault that he snivelled and had greasy hair and a humongous nose.
"Go away, stop being a pain in the ass Siri." He pulled the covers off my head and that's when I caught it, the Smell. It made me shudder.
"You alright Remus?" He was giving me that concerned look, that one that really didn't fit his handsome face…wait a second scrab the handsome. I did not just think of Sirius Black as handsome. I mean hell all the girls fancy him but he's just a friend.
"Fine Sirius!" There it was again the Smell. It was like...I really had no clue what it was like.
"You're not you know, " he bounced slightly on the bed. " I can tell, you can't hide from me Moony remember who found out about your furry…." I shoved him off the bed. "OOOOH violent Mooney. Not something I would have thought of you." I growled…the low rumbling starting in my chest, startling even myself. "Moony well I never, and there was I thinking you were all meek and sweet and…" That was it, I jumped out of bed and jumped on top of Sirius.
"Will you shut it prat?"
"What is wrong with you Remus? You're never this snappy." He was right I was snappy…but that Smell it was driving me crazy. I was going lulu. It was bound to happen, maybe I was pregnant…did werewolves get pregnant? Maybe some stupid frigging werewolf had humped me in the forest during the last full moon or something and now there was me carrying his cups. Mom always said she smelled funny smells when she was pregnant with me. Oh great how am I meant to check if I'm pregnant I can't do a frigging pregnancy test can I? Oh god, there it was again that funny smell and now my body was going on the rampage too…it was so…hot in here. Sirius was staring at me with his mouth wide open.
"Remus maybe I should get the Nurse…I mean you're acting funny..:" FUNNY?! FUNNY?! Sirius wasn't the one smelling funny smells, Sirius wasn't probably bloody pregnant. Sirius was just going to go out today, find some girl who drooled over him and screw her silly. Oh god I was freaking, I never freaked….that Smell was driving me crazy. Hitting my body in all the wrong places, especially the ones I didn't want to think of right now, the ones that were used for private things like letting water. Sirius' eyes were so big and round and he looked so vulnerable lying underneath me I could just ravish him. STOP! Ok, just fucking shut up brain. You did not just think that about your best friend. I am not gay…and anyway even if I was and I am already pregnant. Sirius wouldn't want me cause he's a Ladies man anyway totally…I mean he's a GUY. No way should I be having those thoughts. Blame it on the bloody Smell that's what I'll do and my being pregnant. I swear if I'm pregnant I'll cry. I touch my stomach just to check that its still nice and flat. Good no bump.
"Remus what the fuck are you doing? Snap out of it!" Sirius shakes me, bringing back into the close promximity of his oh so hot body…no, no NOOOO I did not do it again. I have to get away, quickly grab a jumper and run. That's what I do leaving Sirius behind…hopefully he wont worry to much. Ok he wont cause this is Sirius bloody Black we're talking about who generally just worries if his pants make his bottom look good for the ladies. I wasn't looking honestly I wasn't. But those leather trousers….Argh. Need to clear my head, think of McGonagall in underwear. Yuck not good, but at least I don't feel so hot and bothered anymore. Better escape, but to somewhere Padfoot can't find me. Hmm, he'd definitely look in the library first. The broken girl's toilets, Myrtle may be annoying but she'll distract me. One positive thing…the Smell has gone.