Mirrors
By: Odainath
Author's notes: As Ros has always been my favourite character and Connie has become a very close second, I have decided to put the two together. Connie's statement about their similarities is uncannily true so that's what I have based this entire story upon.
I am using quite a bit of liberty for this, most of it being that Ros had met Connie years beforehand, before the unspoken 'event' (we never did find out what that was) occurred so Connie has known Ros for much longer than the series made out, even though Ros has pushed Connie into the back of her mind.
Enjoy and please review.
Disclaimer: I do not own Spooks; it is the property of Kudos and the BBC.
Summary: "You and I both think the same, Ros, always have done. That's why you hate me, not because I'm a spy but because you're looking in a mirror."
Connie occasionally gives lectures, 'motivational speeches' as some call them. Whatever they're called, Connie doesn't care, she uses them to size up upcoming officers, to see who could be turned and who couldn't; who would be mediocre, who would be exceptional. Over the years she finds herself becoming increasingly disillusioned. The men and women – or rather boys and girls – the service welcomes into its ranks have been without a spark for too long.
Then she sees her.
She is younger than most of her peers, but Connie can see that she is already more ruthless than many of her older counterparts. She sits near the front, away from most, alone, watching Connie with clear, cold, green eyes. Her expression never changes through Connie's entire lecture, just those eyes on her person. If she were anyone else, Connie would have felt uncomfortable, but she knows that the girl is simply evaluating every nuance of Connie. Her voice, her posture, her size, her demeanour, everything about her will be imprinted on this girl's mind, ready to be pulled out again at a moment's notice.
The lecture finishes and Connie announces that she is happy to answer questions. Many queue around her, eager to be in the presence of the 'legendary' Connie James. The girl disappears, platinum hair distinctive as she cuts through the crowd. Connie smiles as people to move to let the girl past, not the other way around.
She likes this girl.
xXXXx
Rosalind Myers.
That is the girl's name. Daughter of Jocelyn Myers who Connie has always despised for reasons even she didn't know. Perhaps it was his perpetually large smile, his arrogant upturned lip, his sickening jovial air, whatever it was; Connie can scarce believe that this girl is his daughter.
She is almost disappointed but remembers that one should never be judged because of their family.
A month-or-so later, she looks at the recruits' reports. Rosalind – as she expected – ranked highly though it was her driving and lack of teamwork ability that brought down her marks.
Connie smiles.
She has a sneaking suspicion that Rosalind Myers has no wish to increase her teamwork ability.
Good for her.
Connie had been the same.
xXXXx
An operation goes wrong and Connie is the scapegoat. She packs up her desk, ignoring the pitying stares of her colleagues, and walks out of Thames House, her head held high. She has no doubts that she will be back; older but better than before.
She puts the boxes into the boot of her car.
As she pulls out onto the road, she spares a thought for Rosalind Myers.
She hopes the girl reaches her full potential.
xXXXx
Connie is taken by surprise when they meet again. She has been at her house for twelve years, though she has kept herself aware of events in MI-5. She has friends, friends who keep her informed, friends who give her the ability to compile her list of Russian operatives; her get-out-jail free card should she ever be caught. She is sitting in her favourite chair with a bottle of gin when she hears the cars. Three if she isn't mistaken.
Connie rises to her feet and gets her gun; she is always prepared.
She opens the door to find Malcolm and Harry on her doorstep. There are three other officers there, by the cars. Her eyes narrow as they fall on the woman in the centre.
Rosalind Myers.
Connie doesn't like the haircut.
She has a brief bicker with Harry, child's play if you will, but she lets them take their four prisoners downstairs. Ros comes down first, with her Frenchman in two, and while Connie knows that she recognises her, Ros makes no attempt to make conversation. Instead she makes a quip about her basement being 'cosy' and a smile touches Connie's lips.
Sarcastic; just like Connie.
Excellent.
xXXXx
Connie is welcomed back into the fray and she admits she likes being in Thames House again. The Grid is different, technology has moved forward, but its feel is the same and she settles in comfortably. Ros' role in the team is unusual; she is both a part of it yet she holds herself back. She doesn't try and make small-talk with Jo, who tries unsuccessfully to mimic her; nor with Malcolm whom she suspects has a crush on the blonde woman.
She can't help but laugh; Ros would eat him alive.
Ros is surprisingly loyal, however, to her team. She tries tenaciously to find Zaf, but comes back, looking impossibly haggard, with only with bloodied clothing. Her disposition is also different, and Connie wonders what has happened, what event has made Ros even colder.
What has made Ros even more like Connie.
xXXXx
Connie knows that Adam and Ros have slept together. It's something that doesn't surprise her greatly. The two don't fit together particularly well, but Connie knows that there is no one else on the planet who knows the other as well as Ros and Adam know each other. They are both killers, they are both liars; they are both deadly, a combination not readily found.
But Connie knows that such relationships are doomed to fail.
Ros and Adam's will be no exception.
xXXXx
Yalta.
It surprises her when she discovers Ros' betrayal though she isn't angry, she is somewhat impressed. The girl – now woman – has proved herself, yet again, to be like Connie. Her primary objective was to release America's stranglehold on the world.
Her mistake was to choose Yalta.
But Connie will allow one mistake in her protégé; for that is what Ros has become even if she doesn't realise. Ros is too young to truly understand the Cold War; if she wasn't then she would undoubtedly have gone to the Russians. Just like Connie. So Connie tries her best to ensure that Ros stays with MI-5. She helps deliver the code; she prays to a god she doesn't believe in to keep Ros safe, she prays that should someone die for it to be Adam, she prays for Ros to escape unscathed.
When she gets Harry's phone call and hears his voice, Connie knows that her prayers were futile.
Ros is dead. Her protégé is dead.
She looks to the side at Ben who doesn't bother to seem upset.
The cocky boy was the demise of her protégé.
No doubt he would pay.
xXXXx
Connie's heart is exultant when Adam announces that Ros walked away from her funeral. She doesn't listen to the details, Adam sounds so arrogant and self-important she fears she will tell him to 'shut up', so she stays quiet and smiles.
There is hope after all.
The day after she receives a phone call from her 'daughter.'
"Connie."
Ros' voice is tired but determined and she listens carefully to Connie's instructions of which documents to obtain, which Russian operatives to investigate, which aliases to use. Ros says nothing until Connie draws breath.
"And my codename?"
"Rangefinder," Connie answers.
She can almost hear Ros roll her eyes.
"Copy that, control."
Ros hangs up and Connie slowly replaces the receiver, feeling lighter than five minutes ago.
It is only a matter of time before Ros walks through those pods.
xXXXx
Six months is a lot less time than twelve years but Connie doesn't hold it against Ros, instead giving her a slight nod which the younger woman briefly returns. Ros goes into Harry's office, not bothering to knock, and the two have a brief conversation, no doubt about revenge for Adam Carter. Connie doesn't care that Adam is dead. She had grown sick of his long-winded speeches, of his assertion that 'everyone mattered.' It was a load of nonsense. Some people were worth more than others. It was a fact of life.
Connie hides a smile. There is another reason she is glad that Adam is dead.
Ros will take his place as Section Chief; there is no one more capable.
Ros walks past her again, Harry at her side, and they stop as Jo comes into the Grid and announces she is coming back to work, like they should stand up and cheer for her 'bravery.' Connie pays Jo no attention and takes the time to examine Ros more closely.
She is leaner, colder and even more ruthless.
Excellent.
xXXXx
Ros is back with a vengeance, eager to prove herself. She leads the team with less emotion with Adam, and it brings the best out in everyone. Jo pulls herself together, Harry has someone who doesn't fall to pieces every thirty seconds, Malcolm tries that bit harder and Lucas, already desperate to please Harry, also strives to impress Ros. Even Ben, the man responsible for Ros' brief demise, works well though Connie can tell he sometimes resents Ros' position.
Ros doesn't care, nor does anyone else so Ben works like he should.
Harry and Ros make a good team, perhaps too good, and Connie knows that Ros can no longer be turned. She is too loyal to Harry, who has become a surrogate father.
So Connie waits and observes. She likes watching her protégé at work, giving orders, taking command, making life-and-death choices with ease. Unfortunately some idiot talks about Sugarhorse to Lucas who immediately tells Harry. Suddenly, Connie finds herself worried that she will be discovered. With Harry getting closer, he will soon tell Ros, and together they will find her.
She has no doubt.
xXXXx
Harry is arrested and Connie knows that time is slipping through her fingers. Harry has sent Lucas to Moscow for reasons she doesn't know and when he rings Ros, it is Connie who answers.
Connie doesn't pass along the message.
Harry will have told Lucas where to search and instinct tells her to check on Ben. She is right; he has received a call and she knows it was from Lucas. The boy acts nonchalant and Connie offers tea, which he refuses. She knows she is caught and if she leaves the boy will ring Ros and tell her everything.
And Connie can't have that.
So the boy tells her to go on ahead and Connie shakes her head as she takes a thin piece of metal from beneath her shirt, holding it carefully in her hands.
"You're too young to be wasting your life with this nonsense."
She slits his throat.
She feels a definite sense of satisfaction as he falls to the floor, gasping for air, blood spilling everywhere.
So he did pay – obliquely – for exposing Ros.
How delightful.
xXXXx
"Step away from the pods."
Connie knows she is caught. Ros' voice is impossibly cold, more so than Connie had ever imagined.
"Is anything wrong?"
There is a great deal wrong; she's caught, by her protégé. It's ironic in a Greek myth; it's not in real life.
"Operation Renaissance, that's where they turned you, isn't it? You and Harry working to persuade the Russians they had a mole. He came back the same, you didn't."
Ros has moved forward and the two are three foot apart at most. Anger radiates from Ros and her eyes burn with a cold fury.
Connie is impressed.
Connie wonders if Ros sees the parallels between them; a traitor uncovering a traitor. It's poetic almost. Ros clicks her fingers and officers' swarm about her as Harry comes around the corner. Ros says nothing more, and merely watches from beside Harry. Her eyes continue to burn, glacial, chilling, calculating, deadly. Connie is pulled past and she throws words over her shoulder.
"We'll meet again."
"I sincerely hope not."
Sarcastic; just like Connie.
Connie smiles.
xXXXx
She wears a balaclava but Connie recognises her immediately. Ros' walk is inimitable, fluid like a ballet dancers, but much stronger. She pulls Connie roughly to a car and says a harsh 'hello' in Russian before pulling a hood over her head and pushing her into the backseat. Ros climbs in after and keeps hold of Connie's elbow.
Connie keeps silent, knowing she is being taken to a safe-house.
A smile.
The Russians know all the safe-houses.
Her protégé will soon be tested.
Connie hopes she passes.
xXXXx
The hood is ripped off and Connie finds herself tied to a chair, Lucas to her left, Harry in front of her, and Ros at her right. The blonde sits casually, legs crossed, those green eyes blazing. The interrogation is child's play and Connie taunts and teases, knowing Ros will crack.
"Alternatively, I could just break your fingers one-by-one."
"You don't have the balls."
"You don't think so?"
Connie almost wants Ros to walk those three steps and snap her index finger. To prove that she is as ruthless as Connie who wouldn't hesitate. Instead she reminds them that she has told the Russians the location of every safe-house and that she holds the key to Tiresias. Harry's expression is comical and Ros clenches her jaw and pulls Connie to her feet, severing the rope that binds her hands together with one swipe of her knife.
They leave, Ros keeping Connie close, and are almost immediately in the midst of a gunfight. Ros pushes Connie in front of her into an alley where they decide to split up. There is no discussion as to who will take Connie. Ros grips her upper arm and drags her alongside, forcing Connie to almost jog to keep up with her swift pace.
Connie has a feeling this expedition will be interesting
xXXXx
They stop in another alley, waiting for Lucas. It is here that Ros explodes; well, the equivalent of an explosion. Her words drip with venom, though she utters no insults, just the question of 'why', because like Ros she isn't a fanatic, she has no need for money, and those are the two main reasons for becoming a traitor.
"You and I both think the same, Ros, always have done. It's why you hate me, not because I'm a spy but because you're looking in a mirror."
Connie's answer leaves Ros reeling and Connie almost takes pity.
Almost.
Lucas arrives before Ros can retort and they flank either side of her as they move toward the underground. Ros' grip is impossibly tight and Connie knows that her arm will be bruised.
Not surprising.
xXXXx
Lucas has been shot but Ros barely spares his wound a second glance; simply a cursory inspection before she again pushes Connie in front of her into the tunnel. Connie can feel herself failing; after all, she isn't young anymore, but Ros is merciless and anytime Connie slows down she pushes her in the back, forcing her to move faster. Ros' fingers are like hard and she knows that her back will be peppered with more bruises, all the shape of Ros' fingertips.
They all know the Russians are close behind and this thought keeps them moving, keeps their adrenalin levels high. Lucas, however, is undoubtedly slowing them down, and he tells them to go on ahead, that he will 'distract them.'
Connie hopes that he won't launch into an 'Adam speech.'
Her wish is granted and she and Ros walk on, towards London Bridge.
xXXXx
Connie knows that no one else will be able to disable the bomb and asks for it to be brought to her. It is a complex bomb, well-made, and Connie who has made many bombs in her lifetime, can find no faults. Ros stands still, her fingers hooked in the loops of her jeans, her eyes fixed on the contraption Connie has in front of her.
"I thought you weren't scared?"
"I'm not."
Lucas joins them and Connie decides to tell him the truth as the seconds draw closer. Ros has grabbed his arm and is dragging him around the corner as Connie spits out the truth.
"It was me, always me."
There are two seconds left and a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions spin through her mind.
Ros will live through this.
She won't.
She and Ros are the same.
She and Ros are different.
She will leave this world in a ball of flame.
She hopes Ros will do the same.
Connie's eyes close.
The bomb explodes.
Connie goes with it.
Author's notes: Just a random piece that came to mind. Hope you enjoyed; please review.
Odainath.