AN: LIZZIE IS 16 1/2 THE REST ARE 17
LIZZIE'S POV
I could pretend to love you,
And be someone else for you believe your the one that i want,
Give you my heart in diguise,
I could be all you wanted
Make all your dreams come true, yeah
Surrender my love
At the feet of your will
And live out your fantasy for you,
I heard someone knocking on the door So much for having time by myself "Hold on" I shouted I got up and ran to answer the door "Jamie?" I looked at him confused.
"Hey sweetie" he pecked me on the cheek "Sorry I'm late I had to pick up my little sister from school" he kissed me "Your not mad are you?"
I was about to ask him why he was here but then I remembered we were going to watch some movies together. I smiled hoping he wouldn't know I forgotten all about our date. I tried not to wince at the word date What the hell is wrong with me? He's my boyfriend has been for months there's no reason for me to be upset we have a date. I should be excited he remembers unlike other guys where you have to keep reminding and they still forget I faked a smiled "No I'm not mad I was just going to get the snacks ready while I was waiting" I kissed him on the cheek "I knew you wouldn't forget about me"
"Yeah right me forget about an amazing girl like you…not going to happen honey" he kissed me I kissed him back. He tried to deepen it but I pulled away. He looked at me confused.
"Um…I should get the snacks before we get carried away" he nodded "Go ahead and pick a movie" I walked to the kitchen.
AN HOUR LATER
We were sitting on the couch his arm around my shoulders my head on his shoulder.
"Liz"
"Hmm?" I waited for him to talk to me and looked up at him when he didn't say anything "Jamie? What's wrong?" Why does he look so worried? I hope his ok
"Just a little scared that's all"
"Scared of what?"
"I have to tell you something and I'm scared of what your reaction would be"
I smiled at him reassuringly "Don't be it's ok" I caressed his cheek "You know you can tell me anything right?"
"Yeah I know that" he smiled back at me "Maybe that's why I love you"
I felt the color on my face instantly disappeared after he said that "You…what?"
"Oh shit" he pulled his arm away rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in hands "This is so not how I wanted to tell you"
"You" I gulped "You love me?"
"Yeah I think I do" I think I'm having a panic attack…its ok Lizzie breath calm down "Now would be a good time to say something babe"
And you would be happy,
And I'd make you smile
And I'd go on living a lie,
What do I do? I can either be a coward and say I love him back. He would be so happy he would smile at me thinking he finally found the girl he's been looking for. That he finally found true love. Meanwhile I'm just going to wonder how I got myself in this mess in the first place and living a lie I sighed Or I can stop being such a wimp and tell him how I really feel. I used to always say the truth and what's on my mind even if it hurt someone. I always thought honesty was the best policy but that went out the window once I met Jamie. Is that really how I want to spend my life by lying? Telling him what I actually feel and not tell him what I think would make him happy
I took a big breath "I think we need to talk" his face fell everyone knows someone's going to tell you what you don't want to here when you say 'we need to talk' but I can't lie anymore.
But do you really want,
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
When it hasn't found you?
"Great" he sighed and looked down "I tell you I love you and you want to break up with me"
"I'm sorry Jamie" I put my hand on his shoulder "I just don't think we should see each other anymore"
"You don't love me do you?"
"Jamie"
"Just answer the question Liz"
"Honestly?" he nodded "No I don't"
"Great that's just great" he said bitterly
"Well what do you want me to say? You want me to lie and say I love you back? Just grin and bare it? I'm sorry I can't do that. I can't pretend I love you and let you think I do…it'll just hurt worse if I lied now stayed with you until I finally explode and tell you the truth" I sighed "Do you really want that?" he didn't say anything just sat there.
Do you really want,
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
When it hasn't found you?
"Do you Jamie?" I can't believe it he actually wants me to lie to him "Please tell me you don't want us both to lie" I begged him
"What do you mean both? I do love you" he looked me in the eyes I looked back trying to tell if he does or doesn't.
"No you don't" I shook my head "You think you do but you don't"
"How would you know if I did or didn't?"
"Its not in your eyes James eyes are the window of the soul remember? I don't see love in them" I can tell he doesn't want to believe me but it looks like he's having a hard time not to.
I could make you a promise,
And be all you want me to you my hand as we walk down the aisle
So you could live happily.
"Jamie you know deep down we're not right for each other" he looked down "Not in a romantic sense at least we're great at being friends" I could tell I was slowly breaking his denial "Remember who we used to be before we got together? I used to believe in telling the truth not matter who it hurts. You used to be so secure so sure of yourself. You didn't used to be scared of telling anyone how you felt. I admired that" I smiled thinking of how we used to be before everything "That's why we got along so well we said what we want all the time…well we used to" I frowned "Now we just lie to ourselves and each other do you really think we should stay together? Just shut up and shove our real feelings aside get married have a bunch of kids keep faking a smile hoping no one would notice we're not happy"
And you would be happy,
And I'd make you smile
But I'd go on living a lie
But do you really want
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
When it hasn't found you?
Do you really want
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
When it hasn't found you?
"Maybe you could pretend but I can't" my vision got bleary from the tears "And its not right for you to try to make me pretend"
"I'm not trying to make you cry"
"I don't want to lie"
Cause this is not
What i had planned
I hoped one day that you will understand,
If i could take This heart i broke
And say i love you honey, If i could.
I blinked a couple of times so the tears would go away "Don't get me wrong I like you a lot" I closed my eyes when the tears were about to come out again "I care about you and everything but-"
"You don't love me" I nodded
"I hope you would understand one day probably don't right now but you would see it's the right thing to do right now" he was looking anywhere but me "Its great when we hang out I mean I have fun with you and I enjoy the kissing but there's just no…" I bit my lip and tried to figure out what to say "Spark ya know?"
But do you really want
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
When it hasn't found you?
I could be the one to hold you,
And i could be the one you need,
But i could never be the one
To give you everything.
I could be the one to hold you,
And i could be the one you need,
But i could never be the one
To give you everything.
"A part of me wishes I could just tell I love you so I wouldn't have to see you hurting" I tried not to cry just looking at him sad boys was always a weakness "I would try to be the best girlfriend to you holding you when you wanted to be held. Be there for you when you needed someone" he looked more sad I felt a tear roll down my cheek "But I can't give you everything you want and need Jamie. Your going to meet someone who could and be so happy with her" I bumped his shoulder teasingly "Or him" I can tell he's fighting back a smile but not succeeding "Then you would be glad we weren't together anymore"
Do you really want
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
Do you really want
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
When it hasn't found you?
Do you really want
To give your life to,
Thinking you've found true love,
When it hasn't found you?
When it hasn't found you?
"Liz"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks"
"Your welcome?" not sure on how to respond that was kind of random "What are you thanking me for?"
"You were right" he smiled at me "About everything I don't love you I only thought I did I don't feel the spark either" he bumped my shoulder teasingly "But I still think your one hell of a kisser though" he laughed when I blushed. He looked all proud of himself Bastard he knew that would make me blush now I'll never hear the end of it
I put my hand up "Don't even start"
"Your no fun" he whined
"Oh quit whining you big baby"
"I'm not a baby I'm a man" he started flexing his muscles I laughed at his silliness "Oh you think that's funny do you?" I nodded "That's it come here" I yelped and started running around the house with him not to far behind me. At some point we ran outside to the backyard "Lizzie what are you doing?" he asked in horror "Put down the hose Liz and no one would get hurt" I was pointing the hose at his face he started walking towards me very slowly.
"Get back" he kept walking "I'm warning you"
"Just put it down you can trust me" he smiled at me charmingly
"Not going to work this time James" I sprayed him. He yelled in surprise and tried to block it with his hands but it was no use I had him right where I want him. I laughed at him when he started running around the yard trying to get away from me but I was right on his heals "What's the matter Jamie? Scared of a little water?" He stop running grabbed the hose and started spraying me. I screamed not expecting it once I got over the shock though I started to grab the hose away from him but he was gripping it to hard. We started wrestling for it getting wet the whole time. After about 5 minutes we gave up and started laughing when we looked at each other and ourselves. We were soaked and wet.
"Friends?" he said once we caught our breath
"Definitely" I hugged him and smiled I wonder how he would take it if I told him I was crushing on Edwin. Probably shouldn't say anything for a while though. Doesn't really matter cause Edwin's with Michelle and he…no don't do this don't even think about it. Just be happy you still have Jamie as a friend and having fun. Don't go self pity now especially over a Venturi. Or at least wait until your alone whichever works
TO BE CONTINUED...