Disclaimer: (In regards to View Askew characters and situations) I own
nothing.
(DANTE stands behind the counter of the Quick Stop, checking figures in the books. RANDAL walks in, reading the paper)
RANDAL: Can you believe this shit?
DANTE: Big Choice has stopped carrying hermaphroditic porn?
RANDAL: Lucas hasn't released any of the holy trilogy on DVD yet. Menace and Clones are out, but no sight of A New Hope, Empire, or Jedi.
DANTE: Maybe he's planing on remaking them again.
RANDAL: Don't even joke like that, man.
DANTE: I take it you were not a fan of the remakes.
RANDAL: The originals were brilliant. He should have known better than to tinker with his own genius.
DANTE: At least he didn't digitally add Ewoks to the battle of Hoth.
RANDAL: Funny you should mention that. I was just thinking about that.
DANTE: Digitally adding Ewoks to the battle of Hoth?
RANDAL: No, the Ewoks in general. You ever get the feeling that we were misinterpreting them all this time?
DANTE: How do you mean?
RANDAL: Maybe they weren't just a bunch of muppets. Maybe they actually meant something.
DANTE: Like what?
RANDAL: I think the Ewoks were symbolic.
DANTE: Symbolic? Symbolic of what?
RANDAL: You mean you haven't figured it out? I thought it would be fairly obvious.
DANTE: Obviously not. (Beat) Well, go ahead, enlighten me. I could use a good laugh.
RANDAL: The Ewoks were meant to represent America.
DANTE: The Ewoks were symbolic of America?
RANDAL: I'm surprised I didn't realize that when I first saw it. It seems so simple now.
(DANTE looks puzzled)
RANDAL: The Ewoks are a race who supposedly like peace, yet, when the opportunity for war arises, they jump at the chance. If that's not America, I don't know what is.
DANTE: But the Ewoks had reason to fight. The Imperial army was camped out on their planet without their consent.
RANDAL: See?
DANTE: See what?
RANDAL: That's the symbolism. The Ewoks are America in the 1700s. Hell, they even had similar problems. America had the standing British army, which they sure as hell didn't want there, and the Ewoks had the Imperial forces. Now compare the two and don't tell me you don't see any connection.
DANTE: I think a few nerve endings are missing the connection to your brain.
RANDAL: Why do you have to put down my theories so quickly? Why can't you even consider that they might be true.
DANTE: Because your theories are crazy! Like that one about the independent contractors who were killed while working on the second Death Star. Or, if you want a more recent example, your whole theory that the entire first movie was an allusion to the Bolshevik Revolution!
RANDAL: How can you scoff that theory? These rebels are out to overthrow the established government because they're not happy with the way things are being run. That screams Russian Revolution. In both cases the common people were being oppressed. There's loads more evidence.
DANTE: Such as?
RANDAL: (Beat) The strike forces. All the X-wing fighters were nicknamed "red" leaders. Come on, even you can't deny that.
DANTE: But the Y-wing fighters were called "gold" leaders.
RANDAL: Gold is close to yellow, which could be used to represent the Chinese, who are another communist people. What do you say to that?
DANTE: What're going to do for an encore, connect Yoda to Marx?
RANDAL: You think that Yoda is representative of Marx? (Beat) Man, you take this shit way to seriously. I mean, it's just a movie.
(RANDAL walks out)
RANDAL: Weirdo.
(DANTE stands behind the counter of the Quick Stop, checking figures in the books. RANDAL walks in, reading the paper)
RANDAL: Can you believe this shit?
DANTE: Big Choice has stopped carrying hermaphroditic porn?
RANDAL: Lucas hasn't released any of the holy trilogy on DVD yet. Menace and Clones are out, but no sight of A New Hope, Empire, or Jedi.
DANTE: Maybe he's planing on remaking them again.
RANDAL: Don't even joke like that, man.
DANTE: I take it you were not a fan of the remakes.
RANDAL: The originals were brilliant. He should have known better than to tinker with his own genius.
DANTE: At least he didn't digitally add Ewoks to the battle of Hoth.
RANDAL: Funny you should mention that. I was just thinking about that.
DANTE: Digitally adding Ewoks to the battle of Hoth?
RANDAL: No, the Ewoks in general. You ever get the feeling that we were misinterpreting them all this time?
DANTE: How do you mean?
RANDAL: Maybe they weren't just a bunch of muppets. Maybe they actually meant something.
DANTE: Like what?
RANDAL: I think the Ewoks were symbolic.
DANTE: Symbolic? Symbolic of what?
RANDAL: You mean you haven't figured it out? I thought it would be fairly obvious.
DANTE: Obviously not. (Beat) Well, go ahead, enlighten me. I could use a good laugh.
RANDAL: The Ewoks were meant to represent America.
DANTE: The Ewoks were symbolic of America?
RANDAL: I'm surprised I didn't realize that when I first saw it. It seems so simple now.
(DANTE looks puzzled)
RANDAL: The Ewoks are a race who supposedly like peace, yet, when the opportunity for war arises, they jump at the chance. If that's not America, I don't know what is.
DANTE: But the Ewoks had reason to fight. The Imperial army was camped out on their planet without their consent.
RANDAL: See?
DANTE: See what?
RANDAL: That's the symbolism. The Ewoks are America in the 1700s. Hell, they even had similar problems. America had the standing British army, which they sure as hell didn't want there, and the Ewoks had the Imperial forces. Now compare the two and don't tell me you don't see any connection.
DANTE: I think a few nerve endings are missing the connection to your brain.
RANDAL: Why do you have to put down my theories so quickly? Why can't you even consider that they might be true.
DANTE: Because your theories are crazy! Like that one about the independent contractors who were killed while working on the second Death Star. Or, if you want a more recent example, your whole theory that the entire first movie was an allusion to the Bolshevik Revolution!
RANDAL: How can you scoff that theory? These rebels are out to overthrow the established government because they're not happy with the way things are being run. That screams Russian Revolution. In both cases the common people were being oppressed. There's loads more evidence.
DANTE: Such as?
RANDAL: (Beat) The strike forces. All the X-wing fighters were nicknamed "red" leaders. Come on, even you can't deny that.
DANTE: But the Y-wing fighters were called "gold" leaders.
RANDAL: Gold is close to yellow, which could be used to represent the Chinese, who are another communist people. What do you say to that?
DANTE: What're going to do for an encore, connect Yoda to Marx?
RANDAL: You think that Yoda is representative of Marx? (Beat) Man, you take this shit way to seriously. I mean, it's just a movie.
(RANDAL walks out)
RANDAL: Weirdo.