Ranma Talk #1: Hey, I'm glad you found it! This is the first story in a series of connected fanfics, and it may help to read them in order! Why not start with a birthday? Summer B-days are cool. But I didn't want to change Ranma or Akane's ages, so this one's for Kasumi! It's short, I'll admit it. Anyways…we're off!
DISCLAIMER: Even though I would love too, I don't own Ranma ½.
Beep, Beep. The alarm clock rang softly. Beep, beep. Thin, nimble fingers reached up slowly, pushing the tab into the "off" position.
Kasumi sighed, stretching her long legs out in front of her and resting them on the floor below. She looked out at the sunrise that was slowly rising into the heavens above Tokyo. Today wasn't a day where she would stand in the background cooking and cleaning. No. Today was her birthday; her twentieth, to be exact.
The older girl rose out of bed, where she slid her delicate feet into furry slippers and padded softly into the bathroom to wash her face. Glancing in the mirror, she saw her reflection: a pale, dark-haired girl stared back at her, her eyes gleaming due to the light that shone through them. Today would be quiet. Uneventful, too. It was a Monday, after all. But still…
Kasumi smiled as she swept down the hall. No one could possibly forget this day, could they? They hadn't yet…
NNNNN
About 20 minutes later, stampeding could be heard from every angle of the house.
"Hey! Morning Kasumi. Would you like to buy some pictures of Doctor Tofu? ¥400; a special price just for you…"
"Good morning, Nabiki." Kasumi smiled gently. "But I think I'll pass on the pictures, thank you."
"All right, but next time you ask me they're going for ¥600."
"¥600? I thought that they were ¥500."
"Yes, but they're adult pictures,' Nabiki explaining, gesturing at a picture of Doctor Tofu hard at work. "They are simply worth a lot more."
"Oh…I see…" Kasumi glanced at them one more time. "Well, breakfast will be ready in five minutes."
"Thanks!" Nabiki left, looking for her next victim.
Almost immediately after her exit, Mr. Saotome and her father staggered in, looking hopelessly lost.
"Good morning, father," Kasumi smiled. "Did you sleep well?"
"Hmm? Oh, yes…quite…g'morning." He settled down in front of the table.
"I see you're still not awake." She turned to Mr. Saotome. "Hello!"
Hello. He had just poured cold water over his tired head, forget in his tired mind that it changed him into a panda.
Kasumi listened upstairs for the approach of Ranma's loud, stomping footsteps and heard nothing. "Is he up yet? He'll miss school…"
The panda shook it's head and began searching for some markers.
"Hmm…Akane?" Kasumi called as she watched the youngest daughter of the family dart by.
"Yes?" Akane came running in, unsuccessfully trying to pull her socks on while buttoning her school bag shut. Her sister handed her a bowl of rice, which she immediately began to drain of it's ingredients.
"Isn't Ranma up yet?"
Akane snorted into her bowl. "As if. That lazy fool wouldn't get up unless you planted a bomb in his room."
Kasumi hesitated. "Well…could you still try? For me, please?"
Her younger sister rose from the table to rinse out her bowl. "Sure, but I can't guarantee he'll get up. I've already tried twice. Besides, he said that he turned on his alarm clock; he should try getting his lazy butt up on his own."
He can sleep through anything. Mr. Saotome chewed on a bamboo toothpick.
"Oh, really?" An evil grin crossed her features. "We'll see about that!" She left the room , laughing maniacally.
"No bombs, all right?" Kasumi said cheerfully, spooning out everyone else's breakfast. If it got cold…then too bad.
"Okay, okay…" Akane filled up a bucket of hot water and began the process of dragging got upstairs, the water sloshing dangerously around the sides. Moments later there was a splash, which was quickly followed by a yelp.
"Akane! What'd you do that for, you moron!"
"Who are you calling a moron, you idiot! Get your lazy butt out of bed! You have two minutes to get out of this house!"
"What! Why didn't you get me up sooner!"
There was a deadly silence, then a strange voice whispered, "I tried, but someone refused to get up!" Akane's voice rose with each word.
Well then don't argue with me and leave the room! I have to change!"
"I'm not the one arguing, here; and besides, I was going to leave anyways! Who would want to see you change!"
Angry footsteps retreated down the stairs, and Akane's angry face appeared in the doorway. "Well, I'm leaving without him. Bye, everyone!" She reached up to give Kasumi a kiss on the cheek. "Where's Nabiki?"
"She left without breakfast to pursue her dream of money-making."
"Okay! See you lat--"
"Wait up, Akane!" Ranma skidded into the room, pulling his shirt over his head and buttoning it haphazardly. "You can wait a few extra minutes, can't ya?" he began gulping down his breakfast so fast Kasumi thought the poor boy might choke.
"Be careful, Ranma…"
"Okay! Done!" He got up to leave, and was immediately smacked with a sign. "Ow! What was that for?"
A true martial artist washes his dishes.
"I don't have time! I'll make it up later, all right!" He put on his backpack, and placed his blue baseball cap over his silky black hair. "See ya!" he looked around for Akane. "Hey!"
She was already sprinting to the open entryway. Ranma came after her.
The two teenagers burst through the door, Akane yelling at him the whole way.
"You could at least have thanked her-"
"Didn't have time!"
"To say two words!"
"Shut it!"
"Now we have four minutes to get to school-"
"It's not my fault-"
"If you had just gotten up the first time-"
"Who are you, my mother!"
They rounded the corner and carried their argument all the way to school, their voices fading on the crisp morning air.
Kasumi picked up the table, feeling slightly alone when both fathers left the room without saying a word. She frowned. Not one person said Happy Birthday to me! How could they forget…?
After a few moments more of thought, she slipped into her green jacket. Maybe Doctor Tofu will know something about it, being so close to the family and all…
NNNNN
Ring, ring! The bell on Doctor Tofu's door rang loudly, clanging as Kasumi opened it and stepped inside. An elderly man looked up from the couch and froze.
Kasumi smiled at him. "Hello, sir."
The old man got up, mumbling to himself. "'Ello, Kasumi…lovely day, don't you think? I ought to be getting home now, loads of laundry to do…got to get it before it dries, you know…"
Kasumi frowned, watching him leave. "Interesting how everyone seemes to do that whenever I show up here…" She opened the door to his office. "Doctor Tofu?"
The older man revolved in his chair, his glasses reflecting the scenery from outside. "K-Kasumi! How odd that you should be here, of all-"He fumbled with his papers, spilling them across the floor.
Kasumi laughed. "Oh, doctor! Here." She picked them up, careful to leave them in their proper order. Soon they were neatly stacked on the countertop.
"Now, do you know what's going on with my family?"
He frowned. "Hmm? What? Eh?"
"Today is my birthday, Doctor Tofu. It only happens once a year, and they have never forgotten it. But now, no one has said a thing to me!" Kasumi burst out, looking terribly stressed. This made the good doctor panic.
"Oh, it is, is it? Well, Birthday Happy-I meant Bappy Hirth-well-"
"Why, thank you," she sniffled, smiling through her sad tears.
This emboldened Doctor Tofu. He puffed out his chest, and delicately put a pencil behind his ear. "Well, I've got no idea what's going on; sorry. Though Cologne might know if Ranma's planning something, or if something's going on with your family."
"But it seems as if they've forgotten, not as if they are trying to surprise me…"
"All the better. To ask Cologne, I mean. She knows all of the remedies on the book!"
"Very well." Kasumi sighed, rising from her chair. "I'll ask, but I'm not sure if it will do me any good. Good day, Doctor Tofu." She bowed and left the room.
"Bye, Kasumi," he whispered after her. He smiled. Oh, Kasumi…you don't know what you're in for.
NNNNN
"Yes, I asked for chow mein noodles today." Cologne frowned, glaring at the phone. "CHOW MEIN, not soba. Chow Mein." A pause. "Of course I know what I'm talking about. I may be old, but I'm not stupid! And never disrespect me like that again, my boy; I know your mother!" She slammed down the phone, hearing the satisfying click of a disconnection. "Chinese food orders from China. You just can't trust them anymore…"
Cologne jumped off the stool she had be occupying for 10 minutes and made her way across the room, using her staff to move quickly.
"Cologne?"
She turned around, surprised that she had not heard the girl that was now standing in the doorway of her restaurant.
"Oh, Kasumi, isn't it? Good to see you…How's my son-in-law?"
"He's fine. I just had a quick question to ask…"
"Oh course." The elderly woman looked at her worriedly. "Is something wrong?"
"Well…" The damsel in distress relayed her woeful tale to her, and by the end, Cologne was frowning, deep in thought.
"It seems to be that it's just a normal case of temporary amnesia. I'll get something to cure it; wait just a moment, won't you?"
She hopped back to her storage room, and Kasumi heard muttering and clinking of jars. Cologne soon reappeared, clutching a bag made of lavender tissue paper. Light clinking and a glow of pure light came from it.
"Light crystals should do the trick, I think," She reached into her pocket and pulled out a golden ribbon. "I'll just tie this around it to ward off evil-" she tighten it snugly around the neck of the bag—"and don't open it until you're instructed to do so. We don't want our crystals to become unclean, right?"
"All right. Thank you so much!" Kasumi got up to leave.
"Wait!" Cologne slapped a small hand on the table.
"Did I forget something?" Kasumi came back, looking around.
"No—just don't use the crystals unless they forget who you are, all right?"
"I'll keep that in mind." Kasumi bowed slightly, and left, making sure to close the door behind her.
Cologne waited a moments, then began cackling wildly.
"Ah, yes, she's too trusting, that one! Won't she be surprised…" She hopped back to the storage room, snickering and thinking about thinkable things.
NNNNN
"All right! Now I can open my shop-and an hour early, to boot! At least I could take a day off school…" Ukyo finished hanging up her sign, and stood back to admire her handiwork. Suddenly, she was pushed from behind, and heard a timid voice say, "Oh, my! I'm sorry…"
She turned around to see Kasumi Tendo walk quickly past.
"Eh? Hey, Kasumi! It's been awhile!" She put a arm around her shoulders, stopping her in her tracks.
"Yes…indeed…"
Ukyo looked at her. "Are you all right? You seem upset. And you're never sad…"
"Hmm…"
"Why don't you come in and have some onakoyaki bread? It's right around lunchtime anyway."
"Well, I am a bit hungry…I've been out all morning."
"Okay, then! This is on me; then you can tell me what's going on."
Kasumi smiled. "Thank you, Ukyo." As they stepped inside, the smell of onakoyaki hit Kasumi, along with spices and herbs.
"It smells wonderful! I haven't had some in awhile…" She settled on a stool as Ukyo went around the countertop to expertly flip the now-golden bread. She began to spread some sauce on one, and handed it Kasumi. Ukyo pushed some toppings towards her.
"Make it how you want it, okay? Now, what's upsetting you?"
Kasumi opened her mouth to speak—
"Ukyo! You no finish deal, yes? Finish here!" Shampoo stomped out of the storage room, then paused when she saw Kasumi.
"Nihao! You Kasumi, yes?" The girl frowned. "What wrong?"
"That's what I was trying to figure out before you came bursting in." Ukyo was miffed.
Shampoo sat next to Kasumi and put a hand on her shoulder. "Tell us what wrong, yes?"
"Thanks." The older girl took a sip of the green tea that was handed to her. "Let's start by saying that my birthday's today."
"Ohhhh, really?" Ukyo flipped a piece a bread. "What's so bad about that?"
"Everyone's forgotten. Or so it seems."
"Aiya!" Shampoo looked up, her head resting on her palms. Her arms shifted slightly on the countertop.
"Whoa, Shampoo! Might want to move your arms-" Ukyo looked over at her, grinning evilly.
"Eeooch!" She sprang up, flapping her burned arms.
The cook turned back to Kasumi. "Anyhow, as I was saying…That's a bit odd…Did you ask Cologne?"
"Great-grandmother know lot of potions; wise woman. You have problem, she solve." Shampoo finished cooling her arms in the sink of cold water and looked curiously at Kasumi.
"I did, and she gave me some crystals. So I was on my was home to see what would happen."
"Bonsai, Kasumi!" Shampoo handed her a basket. "Here is present for day of birth, yes? For free, large servings!"
Kasumi smelled pork buns and sushi, and her hands were slowly being warmed by the woven reeds.
"You keep basket, yes?"
"Yes; thank you. It's nice." Kasumi smiled gently.
"By the way, I'll give ya a month worth of free food anytime you come in, okay? Even if your family's forgotten, we won't!"
"I appreciate it. I should be getting home." The older woman stood up, and headed for the door.
"Happy 2-0!" Ukyo and Shampoo waved, then resumed their arguing and headed towards the storage room.
Maybe this day will turn out better, after all.
Kasumi headed home, the sun beginning to set in the glowing sky.
NNNNN
"KASUMI!" Akane opened the door to their house, letting the artificial light stream outside. "We were wondering what happened to you!"
"I've been out all day," Kasumi stated quietly. She was beginning to feel slightly irritated.
"Oh…are you okay?" Her little sister frowned, following her down the hall.
"I suppose so, as least as much so as can be expected under the current circumstances." She turned around, smiling at her sister, then closed the door firmly in her face.
Akane's smile faded slowly into a glance of pure confusion.
"Hmmm…?"
"Hey, what's up?" A girl's voice echoed cheerfully from the ceiling.
"Ranma!" Akane looked up, her incredulous gaze following the red-head in her fall to the floor.
"Ouch!"
"Don't you have anything better to do?" Akane crossed her arms, looking down disapprovingly at her stalker.
"Obviously not; if I'm hanging around you," the girl stated wisely, brushing herself off with a delicate hand. "Not really. Anyways, we have to-"
"I don't have time for your antics right now, Ranma. There are more important things for me to do at the moment."
"If you would just listen to me for a moment-" she put her hands on her hips, her eyes narrowed in anger.
"Now why would I do that? Besides, you better be nice to me; I'm cooking dinner since Kasumi isn't feeling too well."
"Uh-well-actually I think-" Ranma started for Kasumi's room.
Akane grabbed her arm. "I'M COOKING. And that's final. Soup can't be too hard; I'm sure to get it right this time!" She nodded her head enthusiastically.
"Yep, sure…and that's what you said the last time…and the time before that…and the time before the time before…and-" the hermaphrodite counted on her fingers.
"GET LOST, RANMA!" Within the next few seconds, Ranma was counting the number of times (it had gotten up to twenty, you know) while she was flying through the air. "Jerk." Akane headed towards the kitchen to poison-er, surprise-everyone with her long lost talent. Her really, extremely long lost talent.
NNNNN
Kasumi fingered the bag of crystals that lay in the middle of her desk, staring moodily out the window.
What have I done to deserve this…? I don't understand…
The smell of burning chicken in the oven rose up to her nose from the floor, yet she didn't move. Who cared? Akane could deal with her own problems, for once.
The burned chicken was followed by a banging noise and a few yells. The fire alarm went off downstairs. Kasumi still refused to budge from her seat. It's probably just smoke…
"AKANE, YOU IDIOT!" Quick footsteps came pounding down the hallway, and second's later Ranma came bursting through the door.
"Kasumi, can't you-"
"-Nope."
The red-head stared at her. "Eh?"
"Akane can try to solve her own problems." Even as she was stating that fact firmly from between her lips, she felt horribly guilty when the whole sentence came out.
"Okay. Fine." Ranma headed towards the door. "But I thought you might want to know…" She pulled out a megaphone. "THE KITCHEN'S ON FIRE!"
That sent Kasumi barreling down the hall, and she grabbed a bucket of water from the bathroom. Her kitchen, her poor, precious kitchen…
Ranma jogged next to her, clearly and thoroughly enjoying herself. "You might want to hurry; Akane's stumped on how to put out a fire!"
Kasumi zoomed into the kitchen, her hair streaming behind her, to find it…perfectly clean.
"What do you know? Akane has it under control!" Ranma put a hand above her blue eyes to scan the room.
"RANMA, YOU JERK!" Akane appeared from behind a doorway, slapping her with a towel. "I may have trouble with cooking, but I'm not totally CLUELESS!"
"What is the meaning of this?" A quiet, cold, and yet pleasant voice stopped them in mid-speech from abusing each other. "Did you both think that this was funny?" She sounded close to tears.
Akane noticed this right away, and immediately felt like she had committed a horrendous crime. "Gomen, nee-chan, gomen…we just had to get you down here somehow, and this seemed this quickest way…"
"And why ever did you need to do that?" Kasumi appeared to be curious.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"
Mr. Tendo, Mr. Saotome, Cologne, Nabiki, Shampoo, Ukyo, and Doctor Tofu jumped out from various cupboards and closets, blowing up surprise crackers and noise makers. Confetti pored down from a non existent place in the ceiling.
"What-" Kasumi plopped down onto the cold kitchen tiles, her eyes wide with shock.
"We would never forget your birthday, Kasumi! Especially this one!" Akane placed a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Yeah, really! We're not the type to get temporary amnesia or anything." Ranma poured hot water on himself and handed a small package to Kasumi. "Go ahead and open it."
Kasumi looked down silently at the package, ripping off the glossy paper. "Sudako's Spa and Bath tickets for five."
"There's a special ticket in there somewhere for the hot springs, too." Ranma scratched his head, appearing to be embarrassed.
"Wow…" Kasumi held them gently, still too much in shock to say much else.
"And Mr. Saotome got you a bamboo plant (we put it in your room when you ran downstairs), and Daddy got you a new dress (it's nice and green, located in the premises of your closet)." Nabiki came over, looking like she was struggling with some deep, inner battle. "And here's my…present. Next time, you may not be so fortunate."
"¥600?"
"Yep! Doctor Tofu bought his own pictures back! Isn't that so thoughtful of him?"
"Yes, dear…"
"By the way, child, here are your crystals." Cologne tossed the package back to her. Kasumi laughed.
"Well, I guess I won't be needing these anymore!"
Cologne looked slightly apologetic as she said, "I'm sorry, but…I lied. Those are bath crystals for relaxation. Clever, hmm?"
"Oh…!" The older girl looked flustered.
"Now here's my present!" Akane handed her a box. Kasumi opened it to reveal a new apron. "I know that you like the one you're wearing, but it's getting a little worn out, don't you think? And in Shampoo's basket is a foot massage from Doctor Tofu! How do you like that!"
No one could see Kasumi's expression since her head was tilted down, but when she lifted it, her face was streaked with tears. The girl closed her eyes.
"K-Kasumi? What's-"
Kasumi lifted up a hand to stop her family and friend's speech. "Never in my life," she said quietly, her voice trembling from her tears and suppressed rage, "Have I felt so loved, nor have I felt so humiliated. No one would tell me what was going on, even though they knew and I was upset!" Her voice rose slightly, and they cowered in fear. She was quiet for a moment. Then she decided it was time to give them a show of her frustrations.
"YOU JERKS! MORONS! IDIOTS! NEVER DO THAT AGAIN!"
And with one mighty punch, they all exited through the roof. Maybe they had scared her, but at least they hadn't forgotten her.
"Maybe we went a little too far." Nabiki watched the houses fly by.
"Are you JOKING!" Ranma righted himself. "Nobody's gonna have an interesting birthday like that for a long time!"
NNNNN
As Kasumi sat on the floor, she thought a moment about what she had done. Then she burst out laughing, feeling slightly better. Because even if they had gone a bit far, it was one hundred percent true. It was a unique birthday, and she knew it.
THE END
Ranma Talk: Please Review, and wait for #2!