Steph: This story was born from extreme boredom and tiredness at 11 p.m. (kill me now). Consequentially, do not expect Shakespeare. The coupling was born from the being that we all know as Kate. Consequentially, do not expect normality. Here is the Darth Maul x Padmé story, Better Than Kissing a Sith-Lord-To-Be!
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Better Than Kissing a Sith-Lord-To-Be
Padmé cried herself to sleep, knowing that her people had made peace with the Gungans. She could find no comfort until the second film. In the meantime, she would have to put up with the fact that she had unleashed more Jar Jar Binks on the Star Wars community instead of killing him like they were all hoping she would.
All this meant little to Darth Maul. Dying tends to dull your thoughts. However, he was miraculously reincarnated for the purpose of this story, and it was in this way that he found himself awake and quite alive in Padmé's secret apartment.
Maul turned his tattooed, spikey head towards the sleeping form of Padmé, face still tear-stained, grasping her pillow helplessly. In this moment, Maul realised how beautiful she really was. With eyeliner streaks running down her face, her hair frizzed up (having not been straightened that night), and loud snores issuing from deep within her throat, she seemed more beautiful than all of the glimpses that he had caught of her while murdering her guardian Jedis.
Padmé's sleeping form, however, did not stay so peaceful for long. She suddenly had a nightmare containing a horrible premonition of the future, in which she saw herself kissing an older Anakin Skywalker. She tossed and turned, groaning and shrieking in terror. Maul, hating to see her like this, shook her awake.
Have you ever woken up with someone leaning over you?
How about with an axe-wielding murderer leaning over you?
This was a hundred times worse.
Padmé leapt out of bed ungraciously, clutching her sheet to her chest. It was in this moment that Maul realised that he loved her. Very much.
"You're dead! You're dead! Obi-Wan killed you!" screeched Padmé, pointing a manicured nail at Maul. It was in this moment that Maul realised that he wasn't meant to be alive.
"You're right. I'm meant to be dead," said Maul in a level voice. This rendered Padmé speechless.
For lack of anything else to do, Maul approached her cautiously and took her into his arms. Padmé promptly fainted. He rolled his red-and-yellow-ringed eyes. Women.
This phased Maul little in his death-long quest of claiming the woman he loved. Well, girl he loved. Technically she was only 14. He laid her down on the bed, smoothed back her hair and leaned over to kiss her forehead in a tender display of affection. Except that he missed.
It was at this moment that Padmé's mind regained control of itself and allowed her to open her eyes again. But instead of the expected reaction, she smiled inwardly and reminded herself that this was probably just a dream and it was better than kissing a Sith-Lord-to-be. So she kissed back passionately. (At this point, the readers are probably saying 'But Darth Maul is a Sith-Lord-To-Be too!'. To this, I say Darth Maul is technically already Sith Lord. Take that.)
Unfortunately, Maul's subconscious finally caught up with the fact that he was meant to be dead. Due to this fact, his body began to disintegrate the way it should have after he fell down that never-ending shaft. Padmé assumed that this was the end of the dream and presently fell asleep.
The last thought that went through Maul's mind before he died hung in the air around the sleeping Padmé, and infiltrated her pleasant dream.
'Padmé, know that Sith Lords will always fall in love with you. Love Darth Maul.'
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Once again, I don't really care whether you review or not, although I do appreciate feedback. All I ask is that you check out the other sick couplings written by the YouCan'tBeSerious team. They are all awesome. And please read the fic that started it all, Oven May Be Hot (Dobby x Quirrel pairing).