Title: I am the Broken Mirror
Spotlight on: Sakura
Word Count: 569 words
Summary: Sakura reflects on honorifics: is she Sakura hime or chan? With her doubts and fears spiraling her downward into a chaotic mess, what will Sakura's decision be (if any)? Look into the broken mirror to see: after all, she is one.
Desperately, I stared into the mirror again, hoping to find something new. Something familiar. Something that would tell me more about who I was, futily searching for anything that would me more about Sakura-hime.
The girl I supposedly was: Sakura-hime of the desert country Clow. She didn't seem like me; I didn't feel like she was me. Sakura-hime had all her memories, understood who Syaoran really was to her, and was back in Clow.
I was Sakura-chan who had seen Clow but didn't remember it. I couldn't find Syaoran-kun in any of the new memories I received.
Memories: that was what caused the giant gap between Sakura-hime and I. My mind was a jigsaw puzzle, devoid of most of its pieces.
On my journey through worlds, I was making new memories, which thrilled and scared me.
Even if I did get all my memories back, would I become Sakura-hime again? Or had Fai-san, Kurogane-san, Syaoran-kun, Mokona, and all the other people I'd met during our travels changed me too much, causing Sakura-hime to always be a distant figure of the past? Would she be somebody who was me, and yet wasn't?
The question caused me to wake up at night in a cold sweat, vague nightmares at the edge of my mind.
As I pondered all this, those same green eyes, brown hair, and lips pursed in concentration gazed back at me, refusing to reveal anything new.
Tears of frustration gathered in my eyes, an I hurled the hand mirror at the wall, shattering it. The shards of glass fell to the floor, and I scattered them in anger. My own broken thoughts fused with the glass in my mind, and I choked on my sobs, sinking to the floor and gripping my head in my hands. Tears streamed down my face, falling to the floor as I cried out my frustration, fear, anger, and everything else I kept bottled up behind a cheerful outlook (and a blush for Syaoran-kun) around the boys.
Gasping, I scrambled to collect my broken self as loud thumps indicated people dashing up the stairs.
Syaoran-kun, of course, was the first to reach the door, banging and calling out,
"Sakura-hime! Sakura-hime? Are you okay?!"
Sakura-hime, hime, HIME!
"Go away!" I sobbed, quickly thinking of an excuse,
"I'm having GIRL PROBLEMS!"
The two words brought silence from the hall, before Syaoran-kun stuttered,
"W-well then, as l-long as your not, erm, hurt."
The males admitted defeat, Kurogane-san grumbling something along the lines of "annoying as hell, girl problems" and "Stupid women, all the same. Look at Tomoyo-hime!"
Fai-san told me gently as his parting words,
"You can call us if you need anything, Sakura-chan."
Chan. Not hime. Sakura-chan.
The boys' presence reminded me of the two people I seemed to be: the Sakura-hime Syaoran-kun was searching for, and the one who was growing in her absence, Sakura-chan.
Once all the feathers were found, which would be me? The question of possibly being two souls seemed to much for my one body to deal with!
That ever present question still nagged me, but I looked around the room, more rational now.
"I'm going to have to clean up that glass," I sighed, wiping my eyes.
Turning to focus on that task, I pushed my doubts and bitter thoughts to an empty corner of my mind, out of the way for now. I could work it out later, when my own mind was more clear to me.