A/N: HA! I've done it! At long last I've finally done it! This is a very and I mean very belated birthday present for x_shadowwings_x or Shadow of Castiel on FF.N! I guess if we were in Wonderland this would be a unbirthday present! I tried to give you Cas but you know Dean wouldn't share him! So, instead pie, beer, and presents all around! C'mon on everybody lets sing and make x_shadowwings_x embarrassed! FOR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW... WHICH NO ONE CAN DENY!

...And should you wake

With crying eyes

I'll take care of you...

Song: I'll Take Care of You By: Dixie Chicks

Better Than Any Dream:

By: LOSTrocker

Its never a surprise when Dean straddles him. Dean likes to do that – take charge, and most important take care of what is his. However, this time Jimmy notices that there is something different in his movements, they're careful, sleek, as if the slightest touch could hurt him which Dean should be well aware of that it won't. Dean is on top of him now, his legs wrapped around his hips and his hands intertwined around the back of his love's neck, and Jimmy smiles at him, wrapping his own hands around his waist.

Dean isn't one to look him in the eye, but tonight, he is. He's staring long and hard into Jimmy's eyes, as if he's searching for something he can't seem to get a grasp on. There is also that hint of sadness that always swims around in those hazel pools that Jimmy wished he could make it go away. Something is bothering Dean, he can sense it.

"What is it love?" Jimmy questions him in a hushed whisper. He knows he doesn't have to be quiet in the house tonight. Sam, Gabe, Adam, and Nick are all out tonight leaving the house all to themselves, a very rare thing and Jimmy can't thank God enough for moments like these where its just him and Dean.

For a split second, Dean opens his mouth to answer him, but shuts it quickly. He can never admit enough that he's no good for Jimmy that James Novak can do so much better than the wash up that he was. He's fucked up so many times in his live he can't help but wonder why did he deserve someone like Jimmy in his life.

"Will you stop that," Jimmy tells him as he rests his forehead on Dean's own, feeling the warmth. Dean likes to think he's a cold hearted bastard, when in truth... He's not. Jimmy would declare right here and now that Dean is one of the most loving, soft spoken people he knew. Of course, thats only when its just them. He thinks he has to act like a prick around his family because thats how he's been seen all his life. If they only knew what this man in his arms was really like underneath they would be surprised as hell.

Its because of his family why Dean thinks he's so God damn worthless. Its not like they ever gave him any sort of praise. Oh no, that all went to Samuel, and thats why he was such a snot nose punk that no one could stand his ass. What a spoiled brat! Whatever Sammy wanted Sammy got. Dean got the left overs, and extra beatings because Dean was born first.

"I'm sorry," he apologizes as he closes his eyes with a sigh. It still amazes him that Jimmy can somehow knows what he's thinking. He's been like that ever since they were kids. Perhaps that is why he always confide in him, and went to him when things got ugly. No matter how long it took, Jimmy would let him stay, talk... Heck, he'd even let him use him as a punching bag a few times. To everyone else, it was no shock when they became lovers, but to them it was. How it started, Dean didn't know. It just happened, and here they were now. They'd been friends forever, and only lovers a few months. Who knew how long this would last, and Dean couldn't help but ponder if he was going fuck up this too.

"Dean," Jimmy warned him. "How many times do I have to tell you? I'm not going anywhere, and I swear if you do something stupid, like push me away on purpose... So help me God, I'm not going to let go without a fight" his grip around him tightened, and he pulled him even closer to his own body.

Dean would like to protest and say he would never push someone away on purpose, but whats the point. He's guilty of that. Done it too many times that he lost count. Leave it to James to figure that he would try. He couldn't be blamed though, when something good came his way, it didn't make sense for him to keep it. To say good things never happened to him in his experience was an understatement.

Tears were stinging in his eyes, threatening to leak out. "Oh baby, don't cry. Don't." Jimmy replied and went to bring his lips over Dean's eyes to plant kisses there. He caught his tears in his lips. No matter how many times he kisses these eyes there would never be enough to swallow those cries.

Dean was trying not to but dammit, he couldn't help it. James was making it hard on him. He was the only thing that gave him hope that he was something worth while. That he actually meant something, and that hurt more than actually being alone. James made him feel alive when everyone else made him feel dead inside. Numb, and it scared the piss out of him.

James gave him time to calm himself down. It wouldn't take long. He didn't like to see his lover cry, but dammit better out then in, and Dean was one of those people who liked to keep everything locked up tight inside. Of course, that never helped matters when at any given moment he would take it out on anything or anyone in his way at the time. Jimmy could remember several times bailing his ass out of jail because his family was too damned ashamed of him.

"Let that son of a bitch rot," his dad would say. "Might do his ass some good."

James would never let Dean rot. He was always the one to bail him out.

"I'm sorry," Dean apologized again a second time that night. He caught Jimmy's gaze in his again. "I'm jest makin' sure yer real. That ya aren't a dream. I jest have this bad sinkin' feelin' that one day I'm gonna wake up and ya ain't gonna be here." Dean sniffed.

Jim gave him a small, soft smile. Talk about one hell of a confession. James reached up to Dean's arm, untangling one of his hands from behind his neck and brought down to his chest where his heart was. He let his own hand rest on Dean's so Dean wouldn't jerk away. Jimmy gave it a hard squeeze.

"Do you feel that Winchester?" Jimmy asked him.

Dean could feel it. Yes, it was good and steady, and ever so often it would jump with a quick pace. He nodded. Why was it beating like that?

"Thats for you Dean," Jim assures him. "My heart, my soul, my body... Its all yours. I am real. I'm no dream that you made up."

Thats when Dean smirks and sniffs again. "No, yer so much better."

"Don't you forget that." Jimmy teases with a laughter that makes Dean join in. Jimmy's laugh was contagious as hell. James always did have that effect on him. No one cold quite make him laugh the way James did because his was genuine. There was no bull shit in that laugh.

"Ya might have to remind me from time to time," Dean admitted.

Jimmy smirked and shifted his hips up a bit so Dean could feel him. Dean chuckled. Horny little shit, and they said that he was the one who corrupted his ass. Whatever. It looked like James Novak would have no problem reminding him at all and Dean would make damn sure that he would show Jimbo how much he appreciated him.

FIN (maybe a follow up, haven't decided)