Oh, man. You guys are going to hate me for this one. I own nothing but this crappy plot.
It was the time of their trips that they always hated. Saying Goodbye. Rather they were in the middle of O'Hare or JFK airport, it was a sad moment that they wanted to avoid. They've been in a relationship for the last year and neither could commit to leaving their cities.
Hank had come to visit Olivia and Noah for two weeks, and that's the longest they've ever spent together. Olivia loved coming home to her two boys, especially after hard cases, and now that was over with. She had secretly wished they had just stuck to weekend trips, because two weeks with Hank here just made her realize just how much she really loved him.
It wasn't that she was afraid of love, but how could they move forward in their relationship when they were over eight hundred miles away from each other? She wanted nothing more than to get more serious with Hank, but she wasn't ready to leave New York, and he damn sure wasn't going to leave Chicago.
That was their on going argument in the relationship. Every couple had them, and this was theirs. Both wanted to live with each other, but neither were willing to give up their location. Olivia couldn't leave New York because the only family she ever knew was here and she needed to help victims. Hank always argued that the squad could come see her whenever and that there were victims everywhere. Voight wouldn't leave Chicago because this was his city. He felt the need to protect his city no matter what. Of course, Olivia couldn't argue with that. Hank saw the worse of the worse when it came to Chicago and he still loved that city more than anything.
What made this goodbye so different was that it was their last goodbye. Olivia finally caved and accepted a job in the Arlington Heights SVU. Hank was right. There were victims everywhere, not just in Manhattan. She had already started to ship her and Noah's things to Chicago. Her apartment was basically empty besides the furniture. All her personal items were in boxes in Hank's basement waiting to be unpacked. Next weekend is when she would be moving the rest of her things to Chicago and saying goodbye to New York.
"What are you thinking about?" Hank asked as he noticed Olivia staring off into the distance.
"So much has changed in my life in the last five years." She slightly chuckled. "Lost my partner, moved up in rank, I was actually in a serious relationship, lost another partner, Lewis, became a mother, and now I'm moving to the Windy City. I can't believe it."
"You still want to move, right?" He couldn't lie, he had pressured her quite a few times in the last couple of months to move, and if she was having second thoughts, he didn't want her in Chicago.
She glanced over at him. "Of course. It's just a big change. New city, new squad, new home. Change is sometimes good, though."
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to do this."
"Well, you made it pretty damn clear that you aren't leaving Chicago." She said slightly bitter. She didn't have a problem giving a little up in a relationship, but she felt like Hank had given her an ultimatum. She either moves or they weren't going to work out. She didn't have a problem moving to Chicago. The problem was that Hank didn't even think twice about moving to New York.
"We're not about to have this conversation again."
Before Olivia could reply, his flight was called over the intercom. Another goodbye ending on a bad note. It was happening a lot more lately, and they both were wondering if they were going to work out. Of course all couples argued, but no matter what they were talking about, the move would come up, and not in a good way.
He sighed and grabbed the handle of his suitcase. "If you really don't want to move, don't. I don't want you to be miserable because of me. I love you, Benson." He kissed her cheek. "I'll call you when I land."
She felt herself get upset with him, but it wasn't a new feeling. She seem to always be annoyed with him any time they left each other. However, this time, something told her to just let it go. "I love you, too, Voight." She forced herself to smile before she kissed lightly him on the lips. "Have a safe trip."
"What kind of kiss was that?"
"One where I'm slightly annoyed with you, but also slightly in love with you." She gave him a real smile.
"You're always slightly annoyed with me, but I have to go sit on a plane for a few hours, then go back to work. Cut me some slack?"
She playfully rolled her eyes, but gave in. "Fine." She stepped closer and actually kissed him with some emotions behind it. Almost like she'll never kiss him again.
"You're seriously leaving me in charge?" Fin asked when Olivia got back from dropping Hank off at the airport.
"Whoa, Fin is going to be the new Sarge? IAB is okay with this?"
"Thanks for the vote of confidence, Carisi." Fin glanced at him with the evil eye, and then looked back at Olivia. "Seriously? First Munch, then Captain, now you. I'm starting to think I'm the problem."
Olivia smiled. "First, I fought IAB tooth and nail to let Fin be in charge because I know how you guys are. Secondly, it's not you. We all just decided to follow our hearts."
"Listen, I can deal with Rollins, but Carisi and two more rookies? The pay raise isn't enough to make me deal with that."
"Thanks, Fin." Carisi said before sitting down at his desk.
"Kids, I'm still a phone call away." This was harder than Olivia thought it was going to be. Of course she knew they were going to miss her, and she was going to miss them, but she forgot that she wasn't the first person to leave the squad this year.
"Munch said the same thing, and I still get sent to voicemail nine times out of ten."
Olivia chuckled and shook her head. "I'm not Munch."
"Uh, Liv, what airline was Hank using?" Amanda asked sitting in front of the TV.
Olivia turned around to look at the TV. "Delta, why?"
"A Delta plane to Chicago just crashed." She paused. "There's no survivors."
Olivia physically felt her heart stop. That was the feeling she felt when she left the airport. She should have trusted her gut and never let him get on the plane. And of course, they didn't leave each other on the best note, and now he was gone. "No, it can't be the same plane." She tried to hold back her tears, but they were coming. The man she was ready to spend the rest of her life with is dead.
Everyone was silent as they slowly watched their boss, friend fall apart. No one knew if they should try to comfort her or not.
Olivia's phone ringing brought her and everyone out of their thoughts. She wiped her face and tried to put on a brave face before she answered. "Benson."
"Please don't tell me that was his flight." Lindsay asked in already shaky voice.
"I'm so sorry." Olivia let the tears fall down her face. She was already blaming herself for this. She was the one that had begged him to come to New York one last time before the move. If he was at home in his office, he would still be alive.
Erin was feeling multiple feelings at once. She was angry, hurt, shocked. "He should have been here." She spat at Olivia. She didn't mind them dating, in fact she loved it. Olivia had made him the happiest she's seen Hank in a while, but when they started getting serious, she felt him start to pull away from the unit. First Nadia, and now Voight. This is why she didn't stopped caring about people, because they all ended up leaving her or dying.
And it seemed like Olivia wasn't the only one to blame herself. "You're right. This is my fault. I'm so sorry."
"Voight was one hell of guy. He was the only person in the world I was genuinely afraid of. Even at his age, he could still put a good fight." Antonio gained a few chuckles from the crowd.
"But under all that hard exterior, he was a caring guy. I can say this now that my life isn't in danger, but he probably will haunt me. He really gave a shit about us and this city. The whole unit probably shouldn't have a job right now, but him and Al always found a way to keep us on the payroll." Antonio felt his eyes start to well up and he knew it was time for him to take a seat. "I hope you and Nadia are up there giving the big man hell. Love you." He got down from the podium and took his seat next to Jay.
He was the only one to volunteer to say something from the unit. Erin, Justin, Platt, and Olivia knew they were too emotional to get through a speech. The rest of the unit mourned but they weren't as close to Hank as they could have been. Al hadn't said a word since the news broke, and that scared the hell out of everyone.
Justin sat with the flag on his lap while he held onto Erin's shaky hand. They had both just lost a parent, and Justin lost his last living parent. He wished he had worked on his relationship with his father sooner. He should have stayed out of trouble so he had more memories with him. There were few good memories he had of his dad in his adulthood, and he was somewhat happy they were recent. Seeing Hank hold his son, Avery, for the first time has got to be his favorite memory.
This was hitting Erin harder than anyone else, and they knew it. She was just in this position not even six months ago with Nadia. Her and Voight were just starting to get back on good terms from her relapse and this happened. It made her sick that the last memory he had of her was her struggling to stay above water, and now she had no reason to try anymore.
There was no reason for her to be a cop anymore. There was no reason for her to be clean anymore. The only people that were keeping her sane were dead. No matter how hard she tried, she always ended up on the same path as her mom. Like the old saying goes, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
Olivia had been crying nonstop for the last week. Not only was she mourning a fellow officer, but he was her best friend, her true love. She felt sick to her stomach because she was the reason they were all sitting here. Everyone tried to convince her that she couldn't have prevented this. It was going to happen regardless, but she didn't want to hear it. She had a feeling that something bad was going to happen, and after being a detective for two decades, she should have known to follow her gut.
xxxxx
Olivia stood back as she watched Hank's caskett get lowered into the ground, right next to his ex-wife. That was another punch in the gut, because he would be reunited with the true love of his life, while she was most likely going to be alone for the rest of her life.
She felt selfish sitting here thinking about how miserable her life would be now, when there were so many other lives he impacted besides her. She was just a girlfriend. Not a child, grandchild, best friend, colleague. She could find another boyfriend, but she didn't want to. Erin and Justin couldn't get another dad, Avery couldn't get another granddad, Al couldn't get another best friend.
"We'll be okay." Atwater said moving to stand next to Olivia. He wasn't very close to Voight, but it still hurt to lose a boss.
"I'm trying to believe that." Olivia whispered. Atwater and Burgess were the only ones to check up on Olivia during this time. She had appreciated that more than anything.
"I know you've heard it all week, but don't beat yourself up. You can call me whenever you need something." And he meant that. He saw everyone else give Olivia the cold shoulder and he wasn't okay with that. This wasn't her fault. She wasn't the dumbass that forgot to refuel the plane. The rest of the unit was acting like she didn't give a damn about Voight when in reality she cared more about him than Kevin know he did.
"Thank you, so much." She was grateful to have someone on her side while she dealt with this. Of course her squad was, but she wasn't in New York and already felt out of place. It didn't help that nobody wanted to talk to her.
"No problem."
xxxx
Olivia stuck around the grave until everyone left. She wanted some alone time with Hank before she flew back to New York. She didn't know how often she would come out here to visit his grave, so she took this opportunity while she had it.
"The last time I kissed you, I kissed you like I was never going to see you again. I don't why I had that feeling, but I did. I shouldn't have been so selfish and just waited a few more weeks to see you, but I didn't. Of course, you didn't say no to me either. I don't know what I'm going to do without you, Hank."
She was so tired of crying, but she couldn't stop. He was her Hail Mary at happiness, and now he's gone. "I love you, Hank, and I'm always going to love you. This was the best year of my life thanks to you. I'm never going to forget everything you taught me, and how you made me feel. You were a great man, Voight."
Seven months later...
"Fin, can you heat up Hunter's bottle for me?" Olivia yelled while she was trying to give Noah a bath, which was the only thing he hated more than vegetables.
"Ya." He got up from the couch and grabbed one of the already prepared bottles from the fridge. He ran the bottle under hot water until it was warm enough, and on cue, Hunter began to cry. "I'm coming for you, kid." He walked upstairs towards the nursery.
"Mama, no!" Noah started splashing around when Olivia tried to wash his face.
Olivia couldn't help but to smile, but she wanted to get Noah to bed so she could finally get some rest. "You have to get clean. Hunter can't have a dirty big brother." And she knew he would be still for the rest of bathtime. Noah was hopelessly in love with his little sister, and she was only six weeks. It made being a mother a lot easier, especially in her situation. She was a single mother of two kids under the age of three and still trying to get over Hank's death.
"Fine." He slightly pouted and crossed his arms, but stopped moving.
"Thank you." Olivia was grateful that they weren't going to fight tonight. She was exhausted and was starting work tomorrow.
She finished washing him up as he told her a story that he made up in his head. She loved the wild imagination that he had and knew he was going to be a very smart kid. Of course, she was always worried about how would turn out because of his parents, but then she would take a look at herself and calm down. Her and Noah had similar genetics, and she didn't turn out to be a sociopath. It was all in how she would raise him, and she hoped she was doing a good job so far.
"Hunter is sleeping again. I'll get him ready for bed while you go eat something." Fin said walking into the bathroom. He had been helping Olivia out with the kids since she gave birth and no matter how many times she tried to refuse it, he knew she needed it.
"Thank you." She stood up from the floor and made her way out the bathroom. Fin had truly been her rock over the last few months. When she found out she was pregnant, she truly didn't know if she wanted to keep the baby or not. It would be another reminder of Hank, and she couldn't deal with that. However, it would be a reminder of Hank, and that's what she needed. Something positive to remind her of him, so she kept the baby.
Her pregnancy was rough. She was always sick and in pain, and some days, she couldn't even leave the bed. That's when Fin stepped up and helped her take care of Noah.
Hunter came a week late, and she had to have a c-section. Despite their tension when Voight first died, Erin and Olivia became close again and that's how Hunter Erin Voight got her middle name. Alvin joked around and said she be named Henrietta, but Olivia was not going to ask for daughter to be bullied for the rest of her life.
Keeping Hunter was one of the best decisions Olivia had made. Even though her pregnancy was horrible, anytime she looked into her daughter's eyes, she felt nothing but happiness. The only thing that could make Olivia truly happy was being a mother to Noah and Hunter. No matter how tiring and frustrating it was, she always had a smile on her face.
She was in the kitchen when there was a knock at the door. It was after nine and no one had said they were coming over. She walked to the door and looked through the peephole and fell back against the wall. She did not believe in paranormal activity, but she was sure she saw a ghost. She swallowed hard and looked through the peephole again, but he was still there, and definitely did not look like a ghost.
Her hand shook when she turned the doorknob to open the door. "Hank." She said in a barely audible voice. This couldn't be happening. She had to be dreaming. She never thought she would see him again, well at least not outside her dreams.
She looked good, damn good. She was in sweats, her hair was a mess, and he was pretty sure there was spit-up on her shirt, but he didn't care. He had missed the hell out of her. "Benson." Was all he said before he stepped in and wrapped her up in his arms. He had never felt more at home than he did now.
When Olivia felt his arms around her, she lost it. God, she hoped it wasn't a dream or she was never going to go to sleep again. He was here, in her house, alive.
"I know, let it out." He held her tighter and stroked her hair as tears slowly ran down his face. He had gone through so many bad times in his life, but these last seven months were the worst. He knew if he was in witness protection, everyone was told he was dead, and that's what killed him. His death was the last thing the people closest to him needed to deal with.
After a few minutes, which felt like hours, Olivia finally pulled away from him. Her face was red and swollen. "How?"
"Let's take a seat first." He said as moved them to the couch.
Fin started to come down the stairs. "Thing One and Thing Two are sleeping peacefully. My work here is..." He stopped mid-sentence and step when he saw Henry fucking Voight sitting on the couch, holding Olivia. "What the hell? I thought you were dead."
Now, Olivia knew she couldn't be dreaming if Fin saw him too.
"Yes, you are looking at a dead man walking." Voight knew this was the reaction he was going to have to get used to for awhile.
"WP?"
He nodded. "Take a seat if you want to hear the story."
Fin sat across from them and gave Hank his undivided attention.
"I get on the plane and the attendant tells me there was a private jet waiting for me. I look out the window, and it was one there. At first I was weary, but then I see Al on the ground waving, so I got up and off the plane. I get on the jet, and Al tells me I'm going into WP, and was silent the rest of the way there. We get to Virginia, he hands me a file, and they fly off. The cops there take me to this safe house, and I've been a security guard ever since. Al was keeping me updated with everything going on, and this afternoon I got the okay to leave and I jumped on a plane to see you. Took me awhile to find your new place, though."
Olivia's eyes lit up. If Alvin kept him updated, then he had to know about their daughter. "So you know about Hunter?" She smiled hopefully.
Hank had a confused look on his face. "Who? Should I?"
Of course, Al wouldn't tell him about having another child while he was in protection. Hank's stubborn ass would have left to see her. "Follow me." was all Olivia said before she got up from the couch.
"Hey, I'm going to leave and let you guys catch up. I'm glad you're alive." Fin said before he left the house.
Hank and Olivia made their way upstairs and she stopped before she opened the door. "Be quiet. Fin just put her down." She opened the door to reveal the yellow and blue nursery that Fin and Carisi had built for Hunter.
Voight slowly walked in the room and over to the crib. He took one look at Hunter and knew. She was the spitting image of him. He looked over at Olivia with tears in his eyes. "She's ours?" He asked, but he already knew the answer.
"More like yours." She slightly smiled. "Eats, breathes, looks, and acts just like her father. I found out I was pregnant two weeks after your death."
"Why the hell didn't Al tell me? I missed so much." He reached inside the crib and gently stroked her cheek. "I'm sorry." He whispered.
Olivia could see just how broken he was over this. She wished Hank was there for her throughout the pregnancy, but he was here now and that's all that mattered. "Because you would have gotten yourself killed trying to see her. She knows how amazing her dad is." She walked behind Hank and wrapped her arms around him. "I talk to her every day about you. She's only six weeks, so you've just missed restless nights. You have the rest of her life to make up for it."
"Was the birth okay?"
Olivia chuckled. "She was a week late, breached, and was almost ten pounds even though the doctor insisted she would weigh no more than eight. I had a c-section, but everything was fine once she was out."
"I can't believe this." He said turning around to look at Olivia. "I have two kids in their thirties, and then two kids in diapers." He chuckled.
"Oh, no. Noah is a big boy now. He's starting to wear underwear during the day a few times a week."
"I missed that little boy so much. I missed you so much."
Olivia felt herself get emotional again. "You have no idea how much I missed you."
"You won't have to worry about missing me again."
Did you guys really think I could kill my baby, Hank? C'mon. Plus, I only write happy endings. Reviews are welcomed on here and/or twitter (reginaxolivia)