Title: Colors
Summary: Naruto Uzumaki was full of colors: his smile, his laugh; his eyes, his hair. Sasuke Uchiha loved every one of those colors. But, Naruto was so full that Sasuke couldn't help but wonder if there was any room left for him. (Sasunarusasu) (AU) (Companion to Synchronized)
A/N: Well, hi there! Please don't kill me for writing this when I should be posting another chapter of KFD or Synchronized. This story idea kind of just attacked me out of nowhere, and it's just a one shot, so no need to murder this silly authoress, yes? And, it's kind of related to Synchronized! It's just a small drabble and it's a lot shorter than the stuff I usually write, but oh well. The poem in the beginning isn't mine. It's from the book Holes by Louis Sachar, and I'm not sure who the poem is by.
I bet you all thought I was only capable of fangirling over Sasuke but, no, with the proper motivation, Jello is capable of going crazy over any anime character.
If you don't like Naruto Uzumaki, then turn away now because I'm going to be talking about how great he is and how much Sasuke loves him for the entire chapter.
Warnings: Angst and fluff, possibly the strangest combination you'll ever encounter.
Beta: The amazing, fantastic MikoGoddess who is amazingly tolerant of me and my stupid mistakes. Arigato gozaimasu, MikoGoddess!
Disclaimer: I disclaim, whatever the heck that means!
Colors
If only, if only, the woodpecker sighs,
The bark of this tree was as soft as the skies.
The wolf waits below, hungry and lonely,
And cries to the moon,
If only, if only.
I've wanted you all my life. Too bad I waited too long to realize it. When I finally admitted to myself that I love you, you and Sakura had already become the perfect couple. I guess, at the beginning, I thought that I could be happy as long as you were.
How wrong I was.
It hurt more than anything to have you ditch me for Sakura; to have you forget the promise we made to each other when we were younger than I can remember: that we'd never let anyone pull us apart.
We'd be together forever.
The dream team; the perfect pair; best friends forever…
How did you suddenly lose sight of that?
Maybe it was love that blinded you. Maybe you couldn't see past Sakura's green eyes and pink hair and bright, happy smile. She's everything I'm not. Maybe you can never think of me as more than a friend. Then again, maybe you can. Maybe you belong with Sakura. Maybe you don't. Maybe you and I should be together, not you and Sakura. Maybe it's better the way it is.
I'm sick of maybes.
I want to know for sure, but I'm not brave enough.
Is anyone ever ready to be told they're not good enough? To be rejected? I've always thought that I'd be ready for anything that the world throws at me.
Why did loving you have to be something so different? Why couldn't I freeze my heart against you? Why couldn't I keep it all out?
The answer is so simple: your smile, your laugh, your heart, your soul, your mind. They're everything to me, yet nothing at all. The Naruto I know could disappear - has disappeared - and I would be too blind to notice.
Where has the person that cared for me gone?
I guess the Naruto I love hasn't disappeared. You're just too busy concentrating on Sakura to notice little old me. I feel like there's this big, empty ocean stretching between us, and I don't have a boat or a plane. I used to feel like I didn't know where you started and I ended, and I hated it. Now, I would give anything to feel like that again.
I miss my best friend, maybe even more than I miss my possible lover.
Maybe it's my fault, maybe it's yours. Maybe I pushed you away, or maybe you left on your own. Maybe, maybe, maybe... So many questions and so many uncertainties, but there are no answers to be found.
Maybe you love me?
Maybe you don't.
I'll never know, will I?
You brought Sakura, again. It was supposed to be just the two of us, going to the carnival like we used to. "A way to wind down from the stress of training for the upcoming diving competition," I had said, but it was really an excuse to spend some time with you, just the two of us. But, of course, you just had to bring Sakura with you.
I didn't ask why. You've been doing that for what seems like forever. I just tried to have fun like I used to when it was just you and me, but I couldn't, not with you two prancing around, sharing cotton candy and popsicles, winning each other big stuffed animals.
You used to give me the over-sized bears you won throwing balls at bottles. No matter how vehemently I denied it, you forced me to accept dogs with droopy ears, giant pink bunnies, and round, chubby bears. I used to hate it. But, somehow, that didn't keep me from building a shelf in my room for every single one and putting them neatly into their own cubby. It didn't keep me from naming each one sappy, corny names like "Fluffy", "Beary", "Coco", and other names that make me ashamed just thinking about them. That didn't stop me from filing away each of the smiles you gave me when you handed me a bear and insisted I take it into the depths of my heart. It didn't keep me from crying quietly the night it was taken away from me.
I hated it.
Now I just wish that I could have it all back.
Its funny how you don't know what you have until it's gone.
The town festival was beautiful as always. I'm glad we decided to live in a small town like Konoha. Going to the town festival was like going back in time: kimonos and yukatas and obi and all kinds of clothing no man in their right mind would bother learning the names of. Cherry trees heavy with blossoms, stands selling traditional foods, masks, fans, and the like manned by rustically dressed men and woman who usually worked in the convenience stores or the McDonalds three blocks down.
It was beautiful.
I would've loved it. I would've had the time of my life, going from stall to stall, if I had been with you, because just being with you is enough to make me happy. Instead, Neji and I, perpetually single, spent the night running from our fangirls who were determined to hunt us down so they could gush about how great we looked in our kimonos: navy blue with the Uchiha fan embroidered on the back along with silver dragons adorning the hem for me and white and gold with the Hyuga crest for Neji.
You and Sakura were the couple of the night; Sakura perfect and doll-like in a cream-colored kimono with a green obi embroidered with cherry blossoms, while you were impossibly handsome in a gold and red (thankfully no orange to be found) kimono.
Sakura draped herself over you all night, and looked pointedly at me when she kissed you as the fireworks exploded across the sky. She knows. She's seen right through me. She knows, and she's proud that she managed to win Naruto over even though I was her competition. Some competition I am, huh? She's the one kissing you, the one you hold in your arms, the one you whisper sweet nothings to.
Not even an Uchiha can make jealousy look good.
I talked to Kakashi, and he said that I should tell you how I feel. I don't think I'll ever be able to work up the guts to tell you what I think of you:
You are adorable.
Everything about your physical appearance is perfect. I hate cute things, and yet I love you. Your eyes, like the finest blue topaz, pulling me in and never letting me back up for air; your hair, exquisite yellow, like spun gold, soft and silken; your lips, petal-soft and pink, yet entirely masculine; your body, lean and strong and wiry, flipping through the air as if you're weightless; your smile, like the sun and the moon and the stars, crammed into one natural, breathtaking movement. You change me, forcing me into speaking with sappy, poetic phrases; you make me feel human, and I love you all the more for it.
You are a flirt.
You are a flirt, but not a playboy; I guess I should be relieved that you still retain some values. You smile that lopsided, charismatic smile and the lucky girls you choose to woo are a puddle at your feet. I shouldn't be surprised at how easily you charm them, yet I am.
You are a fallen angel.
You are too good for this world; for us. You are a saint without striving to be one. You always help without ever asking for anything in return. You do not fight for glory; you fight so others don't have to. You give away pieces of yourself freely, because you don't know your own worth. Even in that, you are Godly.
You are a usuratonkachi.
You smile too much, and you're an idiot. You are loud and hyperactive and get on my nerves. You smell of green apple and fresh air and summer and Naruto, and you make me smile. You calm me. You've never feared me. You've seen through my heartless facade; you've seen me, and now I've seen you, too. You are unbearable.
You are a dobe.
But, most importantly, you are my dobe.
A/N: Well, if you like this… REVIEW!! But, also, check out the story that this drabble is a companion to, Synchronized, and find out their happy (or unhappy?) endings. Also, if you want a drabble from Naruto's point of view, just ask and I'll (hopefully) deliver.