Background Info: Partner Story to "Going Home". Set one year after series finally. Rogan. Set to "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. Please Read & Review. The beginning is in Rory's POV.
Disclaimer: I own nothing except for this story.
Making my way downtown
Walking fast
I feel like a shell of my old self. I am sure others can see my change, too. At first I was dead to the world. There was nothing left for me to live for. Then I found out the news. The news that gave me something to live for, but didn't repair my soul completely. The little pink stick that changed my future for good, the stick that told me that I could never fully get rid of him. That there was a little piece of him that would be forever joined with a little piece of me. After I found out, I spent several days just moping, not eating, nothing. I got a visit from Paris, who helped me get out of my slump. Many people don't see that side of Paris. The side of Paris that shoes how compassionate, loyal, and dedicated she is. She convinced me in her own unique way that how I was living my life wasn't good for the baby. After I had picked myself off the floor she revealed why she was acting so different. She was also pregnant. Doyle knew, but he left, he left and Paris was left to deal with her pregnancy on her own. They had decided to live together, to help raise each other's children.
Faces passed
And I'm home bound
When I was seven months pregnant, I ran into some people who I never thought I would see again. The people I thought were my friends, but really they were just our friends. They proved that when he broke up with me. They stayed loyal to him. Adding to the list of people who had abandoned me. It had only been four months since graduation and the whole proposal fiasco. When they saw her, their eyes all turned into saucers, and their jaws dropped. Steph looked like she was going to cry, and Finn was stunned. Colin, however, was surprised for a minute, but then his shock turned into a menacing grin.
"Guess you are just like your mother. Shame, the world doesn't need more bastard children like you," Colin said, smirking. After he said that, Steph and Finn turned to him astonished. They couldn't believe he had just said that. Rory, on the other hand, felt cold, hard pain, before it turned to searing anger. And realization that no matter what she did, he would always side with Logan. Tears flowing freely from her eyes, she gave them one heartbreaking look, and rushed in the opposite direction. She couldn't believe he had said that. She had actually considered him one of her closest friends. She would have bet all of her inheritance that he didn't know what he had done when he proposed and then walked away.
Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Through the crowd
As Rory had walked away from her old group, her thoughts drifted back to the note she had put in his suitcase before he left for California. What she had written was and honest statement. If you loved me enough to marry me, than you would've been able to wait. When she wrote that note she had been sobbing uncontrollably, because she knew that he was totally and completely in love with her. The lifetime kind of love. What she hadn't been able to understand was why he wouldn't wait. She had waited for him many times. When she had thought of that, she had suddenly gotten very angry. God damn it, she had waited for him while he was in London, why the hell couldn't he wait for her? She was so pissed, she had written that on the back of the card. I waited for you. I waited while you were in London. Why couldn't you wait for me? This time there were no tears dripped onto the page. After her anger had subsided, she had quietly slipped the note in his suitcase, and quietly slipped out of his apartment, silently saying good bye to her sleeping ex-boyfriend, almost fiancée.
And I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder…
Two months later, Rory was lying in a hospital bed, suddenly understanding why her mother equated giving birth to straddling a barrel of dynamite. And Rory sure did swear like a sailor. Oh, and pelting the nurses with ice chips actually did make her feel better. Who would've thought? After seventeen long hours of labor, she had given birth to a daughter, Lorelai Honor Ace Elizabeth Gilmore. 'Ella' had golden blonde fuzz on her head, and the brightest blue eyes. Her daughter was nineteen inches, and seven pounds. She was slightly smaller than she should be, and they soon found out why. Five minutes later, another baby was born. He was a surprise, and was in trouble. He was eleven inches, and only four pounds. They were fraternal twins. He was so small, and he wasn't crying at first. The doctors had managed to save him, but he was on life support, and Rory was told that he only had a 75 chance of surviving. She had named him Ethan Richard Logan Christopher Gilmore. Ethan was moved to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). After she had been checked out, she was permitted to visit her son. What she saw when she got there astonished her. He had hair the same exact color as his hair, and his face was identical to his. The biggest shock, however, came when the nurse came in to re-cover his eyes. When she removed the little foam covers, his eyes fluttered open, and Rory came face to face with the same chocolate brown eyes that had been haunting her for six months. Rory had rushed out of the room, and had been forced to stay in the hospital for a week. She had suffered a panic attack after seeing Ethan. When she got home from the hospital with Ella, she couldn't help but think about how much she really needed him. How much she really missed him.
If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
Ethan had to stay in the hospital until he was over seven pounds. The doctors told her it would probably be around four months. Every day, Rory would follow the same routine. She would get up at five in the morning to feed Ella, whilst Paris would feed her daughter, Gracie. Then they would put both of them down for another nap. Ella and Gracie would sleep while Rory got ready for work, and Paris got ready for medical school. At six – thirty, Rory would dress Ella and Gracie, and bring them over to Lane's house. She would then proceed to rush over to her job at the Hartford Courant. She had gotten her job after many months of groveling. It was a newspaper that was surprisingly not owned by Huntzberger Publishing Group. The editor had been very impressed with her resume, and after getting to know her, he had overlooked the whole pregnancy issue. Rory was very fortunate to have been given the position. Her father had bought her and Paris an apartment. It was a very ritzy penthouse, but it was perfect for them. There were five bedrooms, and three bathrooms. There was a study, a comfy living room, and a spacious kitchen/dining room. Two of the bedrooms were turned into nurseries, and two of the bedrooms belonged to Paris and Rory. The last bedroom was a guest room. The apartment was located in downtown Hartford, the perfect area for the little mini-family to live. Paris attended Yale medical school, and was at classes while Rory was at work.
Rory left work at four in the afternoon, and went straight to the hospital to visit Ethan. She would spend about an hour visiting him, and then headed straight for Stars Hollow to pick up the girls. Gracie was only eight days older than Ella – and well Ethan, too. Lane's twins were only three and a half months older than the girls. When they got back to the apartment at around six, Rory would feed Ella, and give Gracie a bottle. They would fall asleep almost immediately after being fed, and Rory would put them in their respective basinets. Paris would get home around six-thirty, and they would get dinner. At eight, they would wake up their own daughter and give them baths. Rory would then feed them, while Paris studied. After Rory put them to bed she would work on her assignments. Every three hours during the night, they would take turns getting up to feed the girls. In the morning it would start all over again. On the weekends, however, they would spend time just playing with their girls. Their routine didn't leave Rory with a lot of free time, but her mind always wandered once in a while. She would find herself thinking about him. She would wonder what life would be like if she had said yes to his proposal. Would they have been raising their children together? Or would he have run away like so many other people in her life had?
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could just see you
Tonight
Sometimes she would wake up with her pillow drenched, and her eyes red and puffy. She would often dream of visiting him in San Francisco. Sometimes she felt like getting in her car, and just driving the three thousand miles that led to him. But she knew she couldn't go see him, she would have to wait for him to come see her. She didn't have the time to check up on him, and if he really was in love with her, than he should eventually want to come find her, right? Well whatever the case was, she had mentally prepared herself for when he would show up.
It's always times like these
When I think of you
And I wonder
If you ever think of me
Two months had passed since the twins were born, and one day Rory was just sitting in the hospital visiting him. She had been talking to him, and holding his hand for fifteen minutes when the nurse came in and told her that he was ready to have his eye protectors removed. As the nurse in salmon colored scrubs slowly peeled of the protectors, Rory waited anxiously for Ethan to open his eyes. She was not soon disappointed. As he opened his big, brown puppy-dog eyes, the nurse smiled and placed him in Rory's arms. It was the first time that she had held her son. He still had his breathing tube in, and he had multiple IV's, but he was on his way to recovery. One thing that scared her the most was the little tubes that went into his heart, to make sure the blood didn't flood his heart. He was identical to him, and she found herself wondering if he ever dreamt about her, or was ever haunted by her own bright blue orbs. Although, lately her eyes had been very dull, even with all the miracles that had happened in her life. When she got home later that day, she had cried her eyes out, and stayed up all night. It was a good thing that it was Friday and she didn't have work the next day.
'Cause everything's so wrong
And I don't belong
Living in your precious memories
A couple of weeks later, Rory was told that Ethan could be released early. On the day that she went to take him home, she had walked into the NICU to find a bunch of panicked nurses and a doctor crowding around Ethan's little glass crib. There was a continuous beep in the background, and Rory suddenly knew what had happened. She felt her body go numb, and she vaguely remember a nurse guiding her to the waiting area. Several hours later, a doctor came out with bloody scrubs, and told her that Ethan was fine. His heart is so small that the amount of blood pumping through it was too much, and the wall of his left ventricle had punctured. They had managed to sew it up, but he had to stay for six more weeks. Rory had had another panic attack, and was forced to stay in the hospital for all of Sunday. She couldn't help but think about how everything good in her life always had a catch.
'Cause I need you
And I miss you
And now I wonder…
As she sat there listening to Vanessa Carlton's ballad, she couldn't help but think how the song related to her life lately. She truly was pathetic.
And I, I
Don't want to let you know
After Rory was released from the hospital, she thought back to when she first found out that she was pregnant. She had called around, and had found his office. When she called, a pleasant sounding old woman had answered the phone. The secretary had recognized Rory's name, and had told her about how she was looking out for him. Rory had told the secretary, Nancy how she was pregnant, and that she didn't know if she should tell him. Nancy had told Rory that she shouldn't tell him, but that she would work on getting him to make up his mind about what he wants. So Rory had thanked her, and hung up the phone, waiting for the day when he would come back to her.
I, I
Drown in your memory
Rory was wallowing in her memories again. She only had three more weeks until Ethan was released from the hospital. He was recovering really well from the surgery, and was ahead of schedule. He was a good six pounds, and growing stronger everyday. That was the day Rory had decided to compare her life now to how she was almost a year ago. How she was before the proposal. Back then she had avoided change like the plague. She never liked when anything in her life changed. The one thing she hated more than change was failure. When he had proposed to her, he was sort of making her confront both of her fears. He was asking her to move her home, and possibly her job. That was what had linked it to failure. She had failed in getting the Rustin Fellowship at the New York Times. Back then she was slightly confident, but she also had her insecurities. Insecurities that she had picked up from being fully dependant on her mother for so long. In the long run, it only hurt her. Part of the reason she said 'no' was because of her mother's disapproval of their relationship. She had ended up saying 'no' to one of the best things in her life. That decision had led to her and her mother to have a strained relationship that soon ended with them not talking anymore. Truthfully, it was eating them both up inside.
Now Rory was different. She didn't take anyone's crap, and she wasn't dependant on anyone. She was dull inside, and it felt as if her spirit was locked away, waiting for someone to release it again. She even looked different physically, too. Her slim figure was now blurred she had put on some additional weight, and her small size 'b' was no a borderline'd'. Even though her once sparkling eyes are now dull, her skin is absolutely radiant, and she still has the post-pregnancy glow. She has been cutting back on junk food in order to lose the rest of the baby weight. During her pregnancy, she stopped drinking coffee. She had switched to tea for awhile, but he had loved tea. Instead she became obsessed with power smoothies. The vitamins had been great for her complexion and her hair, which was down to her mid-back. She had done one of the things she had hated the most. She had changed.
I, I
Don't want to let this go
I, I
Don't…
On the day of Ethan's release, Rory had asked Lane to come over and help move some furniture into Ella's nursery. Lane had come down with some sort of twenty-four hour flu, and so Zach had come over to help instead. At eight in the morning, they had been moving furniture for two hours. Well, actually Zach had been moving the furniture; Rory had just been supervising, because everyone knows that Gilmore's don't exercise if they have to. That part of her hadn't changed. As Zach was going to the bathroom, there was a knock at the door.
If I could fall into the sky
Do you think time would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
She sauntered over to the door, and quickly put on her fake smile. She swung open the door and came face to face with him. At first she was surprised.
"Logan?"
He had opened his mouth to talk, but was interrupted.
"Rory," Zach called out from somewhere inside the apartment.
As she turned around, she saw Logan drop his head and turn around in her peripheral vision. She sighed, and took Ella from Zach. She was still yawning, and must have just woken up. She kissed Zach on the cheek, and thanked him for his help.
"Thanks, Zach, why don't you go home. I bet your wife is missing you. And tell Lane thanks for sending you over even though she wasn't feeling well enough to help with Ella. She loves spending time with her uncle," Rory said, she had started smirking when she said that Lane was probably missing him. Even though Lane vowed never to have sex again, they had, and now Rory was pretty sure she was pregnant again. Lately Lane's hormones had been kicked into overdrive. Oh, Zach was going to have fun.
If I could just see you
If I could just hold you Tonight
As Rory finished saying goodbye to Zach she saw Logan turn around and have a puzzled look on his face. She sighed; she knew it must have to do with Ella. She mentally prepared herself for what was to come and subtly repositioned Ella so that he could have a better look. It's not like she was hiding her from him. She watched as he ran up to her, and she watched as he slowly took in the beauty that's Ella. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath as she saw him narrow his eyes and she knew that he was slowly figuring something out. Then all of a sudden, his eyes widened, and his jaw dropped. He had figured it out. He slowly lifted his gaze up to her, and she sighed again wearily.
"I think we should talk," Rory said, she was trying to sound nonchalant, but inside she was filled with hope, relief, and – uh oh – love?
A/N: Remember, there is another chapter, oh and tell me if you think I should write a story following these stories. Read and Review!