CLASH of the CHARACTERZ
Starring... HOLLY SHORT! *holds up sign saying applause*
Okay. Technically thisis an Artemis Fowl fanfic, but I put some other
characters in it... well... just read. Okay?
-The MEEP-
*~*~*~*~*~* (little border lines comprosed of tidles, asterisks and hyphens for the sake of making my fanfic like everyone else's. so ha.)
Disclaimer ~ If I owned these guys, I wouldn't be writing a fanfic. Make sense?
Rated PG for MILD- repeat, MILD- language. (Bloody Hell!)
*~*~*~*~*~*
Scene: Holly's house... erm... do fairies have houses? Um... Holly's place. (Y'all.) *a/n- WalkThruTheFire, I admire U!!!*
Captain Holly Short was just about to sit back and relax after a hard day's work when there was a knock at her door. Sighing, she went to answer it. But when she opened it she saw not a person at all, but a swirling vortex. It made to suck her in, but she slammed the door and leaned against it, panting.
She was about to sit back and relax, again, when the vortex appeared again at the window. She slammed that shut too and drew the curtains around it tight.
Oh well, she thought, I may as well go take a hot bath. She stepped into the bathroom, and saw the vortex coming up the drain.
*a/n- then the story switched formats. yeh, i'm lazy.*
Holly: D'ARVIT!!! WHAT ARE ALL THESE D*** VORTEXES DOING IN MY HOUSE!
The Authoress (who shall henceforth be known as Nari): *sticks tongue out at Holly* never you mind.
Holly: Hey! Get out of my house!
Nari: No.
Holly: What do you want with me?!
Nari: Never you mind. Just jump into this here vortex.
Holly: No.
Nari: Well, um, too bad for you because I'm writing this story, sucky as it may be, and you will do as I say. So, ha.
Holly: D'arvit d'arvit d'arvit d'arvit d'arvit. *jumps in vortex*
*Holly is sucked into the vortex, and is thrown onto a very tall tower which she recognizes at once to be Orthank. (Yes, that may be misspelled. And if you don't know, Orthank is that tower from LotR... and if you only watched LotR because of Orlando Bloom, well, if you were paying any attention at all, it's the place where the ugly white wizard guy... not the good guy, the bad guy... makes all those goblin things. Okay, well, if you were ONLY paying attention to Orlando, then just picture a really, really tall black sinister-looking tower, above lots of mining pits and little creepy-looking goblin things.)*
ANYWAYS!
Back 2 da story.
*~*~*~*~*
*Holly lands with a thump and looks around...*
Holly: Where the *&#@%$!! am I?!
*Holly looks around and sees she is not alone. Surrounding her are various characters including Chii (from the Chobits anime), Trinity (The Matrix), Aragorn and Legolas (Lotr), Ash (Pokemon), Pyro aka John Allerdyce, my good friend Naiashieko (her real name shall remain a secret), her imaginary boyfriend Toast, and... Artemis.*
Holly: Oh D'Arvit. What the flip-ping &$%#...
Artemis: Hey, it's Holly!
Holly: Artemis!
Artemis: Holly!
Naiashieko: *giggles*
Holly: *death glare*
Chii: (confused) Chii?
Trinity: Man, this is bullsh...crap. What am I even DOING here?
Nari: You're participating in my fanfic. Shut up.
Artemis: Bloody hell. *covers mouth* oops...
Nari: LET'S TRY TO KEEP IT PG HERE PEOPLE! *extremely annoyed*
Yugi: *out of the blue* I'm bored.
Artemis: Let's play chess!
Holly: Okay.
Toast: *scared*
*Holly and Artemis play chess. Holly moves a rook and...*
Holly: *grins wickedly* Checkmate.
Artemis: NOOOOOOOO!!! No one's ever beat me before!!!! NOOOOOoooo-- waitaminute. *studies the board*
Holly: *sweeps away all the pieces* Heh... that's, um, enough chess for now. *sweatdrop*
(a/n: Sara, that was for you.)
Naiashieko: Okay, so we're on the top of Tolkein's tower, watching Holly Short and Artemis Fowl play chess, bored out of our minds, oh and watching Aragorn and Legolass (I added the extra S for you, Ingrid) do... ermm... EWWW NASTY! NEVER MIND!
Nari: Hey, compared to what you and Toast are doing, it's not all that...
*static crackles*
THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY AUTHORESS
Sorry bout that, people. That was pretty much written just for my friends who will no doubt be reading this... but I'll make it so y'ALL can understand it now. 'K? ;-)
~-~-~-~-~
Pyro: *conjures a fireball*
Artemis: BLOODY HELL it's a B'Wa Kell!!! Run for it!!!
Holly: No, it's just Pyro... (a/n: X-2. Go watch it. NOW.)
Chii: Chii?
Ash: *takes a PokeBall out from thin air* UNIKO, GO!!!
*A unicorn-like thing with a fish tail bursts out of the PokeBall with a tidal wave of water and splashes Pyro. The flame is extinguished.*
Pyro: Bloody hell!
Artemis: Hey, that's my line.
Ron Weasly: No, it's mine.
Nari: Hey, you don't belong here! Shoo! We hate you!
Ron: Bloody... oh forget it. *skulks away*
Holly: Ohhhh this is pointless.
Chii: Chii?
Holly: ARRGHH!!! CHII, WE VOTE YOU OFF THE TOWER! You are asked to leave to council!!! *pushes Chii over the edge*
Trinity: *Backflips over the edge, grabs Chii by the way-too-long hair, grabs onto a nearby spike, runs along the wall of the tower for a few seconds and catapults back onto to top.*
Toast: o_o wow...
Naiashieko: *slaps Toast*
Artemis: I think we should vote off Aragorn and Legolas, too. We need to keep this PG, like Nari said.
Nari: *grins* Good boy Artemis. You get a cookie.
Naiashieko: Hey, this is a story, the reader can't actually SEE what they're doing...
Holly: *reaches for her Neutrino, but then notices that all she's wearing is her violet bathrobe. (she was just about to take a bath, 'member?)*
Artemis: Oh yeah I was meaning to ask, Holly... what's with the bathrobe?
Holly: I... BLOODY HELL! That was NOT intentional! I... it was never my intention to...
Naiashieko: *in that special way only Naiashieko can say* Suuuuuuure. ;-)
Holly: No, really! I was just about to take a bath when that ***** of an author sucked me into a vortex and... *realizes Artemis is looking down her top* BLOODY HELL!
Nari: Geez people what is your obsession with "bloody hell"?!
Holly: *Grabs Aragorn's sword*
Aragorn: Hey, give that back!
Holly: *Grabs Ash's PokeBalls... erm... OMG I did NOT mean it to sound that way... O_O SORRY GENTLE READER!!! Holly grabs a PokeBall or two from Ash.*
Ash: Hey, give that back!
Holly: *Grabs Legolas's bow, and aims all three weapons at Artemis* Now, Mud Boy...
Artemis: NOOOOOOOOOO! Bloody-- erm, crapazoid!
Holly: Crapazoid?
Naiashieko: Hey, Crapazoid is MY word!
Nari: Holy Fricking Crapazoid?
Naiashieko: *death glare*
Holly: Okay, this is getting boring. We need something to do...
Nari: Let's play Truth or Dare! Artemis, you go first.
*a/n: But before we begin, I must say 1 thing: I may be copying this partially from another person's fanfic, which is far better than mine, I know. If only I could remember who it was... ehh, well, if you're that person, reading this, and want to sue me, please contact me first. OK? (= *
Artemis: Wait, you ask me or I ask you?
Nari: Um, I ask you. Truth or dare?
Artemis: Truth?
Nari: *cackles* Do you like Holly?
Artemis: Well, of course I like Holly. She's a great captain, an excellent pilot, and risked her life to save my father. She deserves to be respected as a friend, even if she does hate me sometimes...
Nari: *grin fades away with every word Artemis says* (grumbles) Smarta** genius kid... Okay, Arty, do you LOVE Holly?
Artemis: Well, what kind of love do you mean? As a friend? Sure.
Nari: Bloody he.....ck. No no, I mean... like like Holly... oh, forget it.
Artemis: *grins smugly*
Nari: Your turn.
Artemis: Okay, Naiashieko, truth or dare?
Naiashieko: Crap.
Artemis: You still have to answer.
Naiashieko: ermm... truth?
Nari: *Whispers something in Arty's ear*
*a/n: you might not get this...*
Artemis: O-kaaaayyyyy... Naiashieko, what did you do to your boyfriend to bring him out of his coma? *looks at Nari, confusedly*
Naiashieko: CRAPAZOID! *thinks* Um, tickled him? *blushes profusely*
Toast: Actually, I seem to recall you...
Naiashieko: Shut up! *turns a rather nauseating shade of scarlet*
Arty: Your turn.
Naiashieko: *gives Nari the death glare* Okay, Pyro... do you have a secret relationship with Rogue?
Pyro: Hey, I'm supposed to choose truth/dare!
Naiashieko (who will henceforth be known as Xia, her other pen name): Okay, fine. Truth or dare?
Pyro: Dare
Xia: Light Trinity's clothes on fire and accept the consequinces.
Pyro & Trinity: Heck no.
Xia: Well then... do you...
Pyro: Ummmmm..... *blushes*
Xia: I'll take that as a yes.
Pyro: *becomes extremely interested in his fingernails*
Holly: Ohh holy fricking bloody crapazoid hell. This is SO g**d*** BORING!
Nari: You're right. I'll build up some suspense for the next chapter.
*~* SO, dear readers (if I have any by this point), look for the following suspenseful items in the upcoming chapter: Pocky, golden-tipped arrows, some drugs, Madame Ko's training place thingy, cap guns, and theWorldChessChampionship! And me fixing my broken spacebar!!! YAAAAYYYY! *~*
THE END
--The Meep--
*one final authors note... (yes I just felt like leaving out that apostrophe) Orlando Bloom lovers are ditzes. erm, no offense to you, WalkThruTheFire. (GO READ HER STORY!)* Namarie! *"Farewell" in Elvish*
*~*~*~*~*~* (little border lines comprosed of tidles, asterisks and hyphens for the sake of making my fanfic like everyone else's. so ha.)
Disclaimer ~ If I owned these guys, I wouldn't be writing a fanfic. Make sense?
Rated PG for MILD- repeat, MILD- language. (Bloody Hell!)
*~*~*~*~*~*
Scene: Holly's house... erm... do fairies have houses? Um... Holly's place. (Y'all.) *a/n- WalkThruTheFire, I admire U!!!*
Captain Holly Short was just about to sit back and relax after a hard day's work when there was a knock at her door. Sighing, she went to answer it. But when she opened it she saw not a person at all, but a swirling vortex. It made to suck her in, but she slammed the door and leaned against it, panting.
She was about to sit back and relax, again, when the vortex appeared again at the window. She slammed that shut too and drew the curtains around it tight.
Oh well, she thought, I may as well go take a hot bath. She stepped into the bathroom, and saw the vortex coming up the drain.
*a/n- then the story switched formats. yeh, i'm lazy.*
Holly: D'ARVIT!!! WHAT ARE ALL THESE D*** VORTEXES DOING IN MY HOUSE!
The Authoress (who shall henceforth be known as Nari): *sticks tongue out at Holly* never you mind.
Holly: Hey! Get out of my house!
Nari: No.
Holly: What do you want with me?!
Nari: Never you mind. Just jump into this here vortex.
Holly: No.
Nari: Well, um, too bad for you because I'm writing this story, sucky as it may be, and you will do as I say. So, ha.
Holly: D'arvit d'arvit d'arvit d'arvit d'arvit. *jumps in vortex*
*Holly is sucked into the vortex, and is thrown onto a very tall tower which she recognizes at once to be Orthank. (Yes, that may be misspelled. And if you don't know, Orthank is that tower from LotR... and if you only watched LotR because of Orlando Bloom, well, if you were paying any attention at all, it's the place where the ugly white wizard guy... not the good guy, the bad guy... makes all those goblin things. Okay, well, if you were ONLY paying attention to Orlando, then just picture a really, really tall black sinister-looking tower, above lots of mining pits and little creepy-looking goblin things.)*
ANYWAYS!
Back 2 da story.
*~*~*~*~*
*Holly lands with a thump and looks around...*
Holly: Where the *&#@%$!! am I?!
*Holly looks around and sees she is not alone. Surrounding her are various characters including Chii (from the Chobits anime), Trinity (The Matrix), Aragorn and Legolas (Lotr), Ash (Pokemon), Pyro aka John Allerdyce, my good friend Naiashieko (her real name shall remain a secret), her imaginary boyfriend Toast, and... Artemis.*
Holly: Oh D'Arvit. What the flip-ping &$%#...
Artemis: Hey, it's Holly!
Holly: Artemis!
Artemis: Holly!
Naiashieko: *giggles*
Holly: *death glare*
Chii: (confused) Chii?
Trinity: Man, this is bullsh...crap. What am I even DOING here?
Nari: You're participating in my fanfic. Shut up.
Artemis: Bloody hell. *covers mouth* oops...
Nari: LET'S TRY TO KEEP IT PG HERE PEOPLE! *extremely annoyed*
Yugi: *out of the blue* I'm bored.
Artemis: Let's play chess!
Holly: Okay.
Toast: *scared*
*Holly and Artemis play chess. Holly moves a rook and...*
Holly: *grins wickedly* Checkmate.
Artemis: NOOOOOOOO!!! No one's ever beat me before!!!! NOOOOOoooo-- waitaminute. *studies the board*
Holly: *sweeps away all the pieces* Heh... that's, um, enough chess for now. *sweatdrop*
(a/n: Sara, that was for you.)
Naiashieko: Okay, so we're on the top of Tolkein's tower, watching Holly Short and Artemis Fowl play chess, bored out of our minds, oh and watching Aragorn and Legolass (I added the extra S for you, Ingrid) do... ermm... EWWW NASTY! NEVER MIND!
Nari: Hey, compared to what you and Toast are doing, it's not all that...
*static crackles*
THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM YOUR FRIENDLY AUTHORESS
Sorry bout that, people. That was pretty much written just for my friends who will no doubt be reading this... but I'll make it so y'ALL can understand it now. 'K? ;-)
~-~-~-~-~
Pyro: *conjures a fireball*
Artemis: BLOODY HELL it's a B'Wa Kell!!! Run for it!!!
Holly: No, it's just Pyro... (a/n: X-2. Go watch it. NOW.)
Chii: Chii?
Ash: *takes a PokeBall out from thin air* UNIKO, GO!!!
*A unicorn-like thing with a fish tail bursts out of the PokeBall with a tidal wave of water and splashes Pyro. The flame is extinguished.*
Pyro: Bloody hell!
Artemis: Hey, that's my line.
Ron Weasly: No, it's mine.
Nari: Hey, you don't belong here! Shoo! We hate you!
Ron: Bloody... oh forget it. *skulks away*
Holly: Ohhhh this is pointless.
Chii: Chii?
Holly: ARRGHH!!! CHII, WE VOTE YOU OFF THE TOWER! You are asked to leave to council!!! *pushes Chii over the edge*
Trinity: *Backflips over the edge, grabs Chii by the way-too-long hair, grabs onto a nearby spike, runs along the wall of the tower for a few seconds and catapults back onto to top.*
Toast: o_o wow...
Naiashieko: *slaps Toast*
Artemis: I think we should vote off Aragorn and Legolas, too. We need to keep this PG, like Nari said.
Nari: *grins* Good boy Artemis. You get a cookie.
Naiashieko: Hey, this is a story, the reader can't actually SEE what they're doing...
Holly: *reaches for her Neutrino, but then notices that all she's wearing is her violet bathrobe. (she was just about to take a bath, 'member?)*
Artemis: Oh yeah I was meaning to ask, Holly... what's with the bathrobe?
Holly: I... BLOODY HELL! That was NOT intentional! I... it was never my intention to...
Naiashieko: *in that special way only Naiashieko can say* Suuuuuuure. ;-)
Holly: No, really! I was just about to take a bath when that ***** of an author sucked me into a vortex and... *realizes Artemis is looking down her top* BLOODY HELL!
Nari: Geez people what is your obsession with "bloody hell"?!
Holly: *Grabs Aragorn's sword*
Aragorn: Hey, give that back!
Holly: *Grabs Ash's PokeBalls... erm... OMG I did NOT mean it to sound that way... O_O SORRY GENTLE READER!!! Holly grabs a PokeBall or two from Ash.*
Ash: Hey, give that back!
Holly: *Grabs Legolas's bow, and aims all three weapons at Artemis* Now, Mud Boy...
Artemis: NOOOOOOOOOO! Bloody-- erm, crapazoid!
Holly: Crapazoid?
Naiashieko: Hey, Crapazoid is MY word!
Nari: Holy Fricking Crapazoid?
Naiashieko: *death glare*
Holly: Okay, this is getting boring. We need something to do...
Nari: Let's play Truth or Dare! Artemis, you go first.
*a/n: But before we begin, I must say 1 thing: I may be copying this partially from another person's fanfic, which is far better than mine, I know. If only I could remember who it was... ehh, well, if you're that person, reading this, and want to sue me, please contact me first. OK? (= *
Artemis: Wait, you ask me or I ask you?
Nari: Um, I ask you. Truth or dare?
Artemis: Truth?
Nari: *cackles* Do you like Holly?
Artemis: Well, of course I like Holly. She's a great captain, an excellent pilot, and risked her life to save my father. She deserves to be respected as a friend, even if she does hate me sometimes...
Nari: *grin fades away with every word Artemis says* (grumbles) Smarta** genius kid... Okay, Arty, do you LOVE Holly?
Artemis: Well, what kind of love do you mean? As a friend? Sure.
Nari: Bloody he.....ck. No no, I mean... like like Holly... oh, forget it.
Artemis: *grins smugly*
Nari: Your turn.
Artemis: Okay, Naiashieko, truth or dare?
Naiashieko: Crap.
Artemis: You still have to answer.
Naiashieko: ermm... truth?
Nari: *Whispers something in Arty's ear*
*a/n: you might not get this...*
Artemis: O-kaaaayyyyy... Naiashieko, what did you do to your boyfriend to bring him out of his coma? *looks at Nari, confusedly*
Naiashieko: CRAPAZOID! *thinks* Um, tickled him? *blushes profusely*
Toast: Actually, I seem to recall you...
Naiashieko: Shut up! *turns a rather nauseating shade of scarlet*
Arty: Your turn.
Naiashieko: *gives Nari the death glare* Okay, Pyro... do you have a secret relationship with Rogue?
Pyro: Hey, I'm supposed to choose truth/dare!
Naiashieko (who will henceforth be known as Xia, her other pen name): Okay, fine. Truth or dare?
Pyro: Dare
Xia: Light Trinity's clothes on fire and accept the consequinces.
Pyro & Trinity: Heck no.
Xia: Well then... do you...
Pyro: Ummmmm..... *blushes*
Xia: I'll take that as a yes.
Pyro: *becomes extremely interested in his fingernails*
Holly: Ohh holy fricking bloody crapazoid hell. This is SO g**d*** BORING!
Nari: You're right. I'll build up some suspense for the next chapter.
*~* SO, dear readers (if I have any by this point), look for the following suspenseful items in the upcoming chapter: Pocky, golden-tipped arrows, some drugs, Madame Ko's training place thingy, cap guns, and theWorldChessChampionship! And me fixing my broken spacebar!!! YAAAAYYYY! *~*
THE END
--The Meep--
*one final authors note... (yes I just felt like leaving out that apostrophe) Orlando Bloom lovers are ditzes. erm, no offense to you, WalkThruTheFire. (GO READ HER STORY!)* Namarie! *"Farewell" in Elvish*