It had been three weeks. Only three weeks before my brother and I started to worry. Three weeks when we had begun to tire of each other's company within the extremely close four walls of the dirty motel room. Dad had gone on a hunting trip three weeks ago and still hadn't returned. He had left for longer before, but this time felt different. We could both feel it.
I knew that morning my brother was itching to ask me something. He was acting strange, well, more strange than usual. We aren't exactly the "normal" type anyways.
I was sat at the grimy table next to the window when Dean emerged from the bathroom drying his hair. He sat down across from me, folding his hands on the textured wood.
"Andie, I think we should go get Sammy," he said looking up at me, his eyes wide and bright.
"Dean. . . I don't know. Sam's got a life now. He's going to be a lawyer. Don't you want a life other than hunting for him? Wouldn't you want that for yourself if you could?" I replied without missing a beat, pushing my cereal bowl to the middle of the table.
"Andie, Dad's been gone for a while now. I really think he should know. We have to go look for Dad."
"I'm sure Dad will be back soon." I absentmindedly twirled a few strands of hair around my fore finger, hoping we wouldn't discuss the topic further. As much as I missed Sam, I was glad he left. He was going to school, something that I could only dream about. I looked up to both my brothers, but especially Sam. He always knew what he wanted and he wasn't even afraid to stand up to Dad to get it. I could never do what he did.
"You don't actually believe that this time, do you?" His eyes narrowed and I looked away from his cold stare.
"I don't know Dean, okay? I don't want to ruin Sam's life." The words were out before I could take them back.
"Ruin Sam's life? Andie, he left us, remember? Yeah, it's fucking fantastic Sammy's studying and shit, but we're still family. And we need him, so don't give me that bullshit." He stood up and slammed the chair into the table. I watched the milk slosh out of my bowl and then looked up at Dean running a hand through his short hair.
"Yeah okay," I sighed knowing I didn't have a say in this. What else is new?
Car rides with my brother weren't my favorite thing to do in my spare time, but it's what I did for basically all of my time. I was just thankful my dad and Sam weren't also there. Growing up I hated driving with the three of them, but I could never get away from it. Driving was what we did 75% of the time and the other 25% was staying in gross motel rooms with them. I never could get away, but I guess that's why you call them family. You can't stand them, but you still love them.
We had only been in the car for four hours and I already wanted to bash my head into the windshield.
"Dean can you turn it down, I'm taking a nap," I said for at least the fifteenth time.
"Aw c'mon little sis it's Kansas, you gotta love Kansas," he answered with a smirk, completely ignoring my request. I rolled my eyes and climbed into the backseat.
"Just keep it down okay?" I said over the music, knowing that he wasn't going to comply. He gave me a sarcastic salute and I flipped him off in return.
This continued for another 6 hours straight.
It was two in the morning by the time we arrived at Palo Alto. I woke up in the back of the Impala in front of an apartment building, Dean nowhere to be found. It was so pitch black that I had to blink a few times to make sure I wasn't still sleeping. Making sure I had my knife with me, I got out of the car and climbed the steps. I recognized Sam's apartment from the picture he had sent me when he first moved in. The door was open and I heard voices from within.
"Oh, I love the Smurfs. You know, I gotta tell you. You are completely out of my brother's league," I heard Dean say.
"Just let me put something on," a woman's voice said.
I slowly pushed open the door and stepped inside, closing it behind me. The room was dark, but light was spilling from what I assumed was the kitchen.
"No, no, no, I wouldn't dream of it. Seriously," Dean said to the woman. "Anyway, I gotta borrow your boyfriend here, talk about some private family business. But, uh, nice meeting you."
"No," Sam said coldly. "No, whatever you want to say, you can say it in front of her."
"Okay. Dad hasn't been home in a few days," Dean told him.
"So he's working overtime on a Miller Time shift. He'll stumble back in sooner or later."
Dean paused. "Dad's on a hunting trip. And he hasn't been home in a few days."
I could feel the air in the room shift. Sam knew exactly what Dean meant, and he knew it was bad news.
"Jess, excuse us," Sam said.
Before I had time to hide, Jess was already in the room. She jumped when she saw me.
"Um, Sam?" she called for my brother.
"Uh, hi? I'm Andie," I said awkwardly to the girl in the smurf's shirt and what I assumed were underwear, but could've been very short shorts.
Sam appeared at Jess's side, a protective arm around her and flipped a switch. I had to squint as the room filled with light.
"Andie?" Sam dropped his arm from his girlfriend's waist and took two strides toward me. He had to bend down to hug me. I smiled as he did, breathing in the smell of him, the smell of home.
"Surprise," I said weakly, followed by a whisper of, "I'm so sorry." Before I could say anything else Dean was in the room too.
"Sam, Andie, outside please?" he said impatiently. I rolled my eyes as Sam put a hand on my back and lead us out the door.
As we headed back down the stairs Sam and Dean did what they did best.
"I mean, come on. You can't just break in, middle of the night, and expect me to hit the road with you," Sam said to Dean. I wanted so desperately to tell Sam I was against this idea, that I wanted to leave him be, but I knew that Dean would let me have it if I did.
"You're not hearing me, Sammy. Dad's missing. I need you to help me find him." As if I wasn't already enough help. No matter what I did it would always be Sam and Dean. Not Sam, Dean, and Andie. God forbid someone include me in the mix.
"You remember the poltergeist in Amherst? Or the Devil's Gates in Clifton? He was missing then, too. He's always missing, and he's always fine." I followed closely behind them until Dean stopped abruptly at the bottom of the stairs. It was like I wasn't even there. I don't know why I put up with them all the time. Separately I could handle them, but together there was no way.
"Not for this long. Now are you gonna come with me or not?" Dean asked as if he were just asking Sam what toppings he wanted on his pizza.
"I'm not."
"Why not?"
"I swore I was done hunting. For good."
"Come on, it wasn't easy, but it wasn't that bad." I so badly wanted to interject, but I knew interrupting them wouldn't go well for me. Usually when they fought I would just wait until the storm passed. And I did a lot of waiting.
We were standing in front of an iron gate that lead outide at this point. Still, I kept my distance from my brothers. "Yeah? When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45," Sam exclaimed. It was true. When Sam and Dean's mom died, John became obsessed with revenge. He became a drill sergeant rather than a father.
"Well, what was he supposed to do?" Dean's blindness had always been something that irritated me most about him. He didn't see Dad like Sam and I did.
"I was nine years old! He was supposed to say, don't be afraid of the dark."
"Don't be afraid of the dark? Are you kidding me? Of course you should be afraid of the dark. You know what's out there." We were still standing in the stairwell, and they were so caught up in yelling at each other I was sure they had forgotten about me.
"Yeah, I know, but still. The way we grew up, after Mom was killed, and Dad's obsession to find the thing that killed we still haven't found the damn thing. So we kill everything we can find. "
"We save a lot of people doing it, too," Dean said, still trying to convince our brother to come with us.
"You think Mom would have wanted this for us?" Sam said and Dean pushed open the gate, obviously done with the way the conversation was going.
"Um hello?" I said. "Can you both just shut up for one damn second? I'm still here!" I yelled. They both turned on their heels and looked at me under the lone street light. "Yeah we were raised like freaking warriors, we all know that, so can we please just quit bitching at each other?"
Dean looked at me and then to Sam, he took a sharp intake of breath as he narrowed his eyes at our brother. "So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?" I groaned as we crossed the lot to the Impala. I was just his kid sister, not anybody he had to answer to.
Sam looked at me before answering Dean. "No. Not normal. Safe." Dean looked away and rolled his eyes. "I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing."
"Yeah, well, Dad's in real trouble right now. If he's not dead already. I can feel it." When Sam stayed silent he continued. "We can't do this alone."
Sam looked between the two of us. "You've got each other. Yes, you can."
"Yeah, well I don't want to."
I scoffed. "Does anyone even care what I want?" I said throwing my hands up. "You drag me out here, without so much as a 'Andie what do you think?' I spend 10 hours in the car with you just to listen to the two of you bitch at each other. You know what? No. I'm done. You two have fun. I'm gone. It was nice seeing you Sammy."
If I didn't know any better they looked shocked. "Andie. . ." Sam cooed.
"Andie, c'mon," Dean said taking a step toward me.
"No, I'm sick of everything. I'm sick of being your dumb kid sister. I'm sick of being dragged places I don't want to be. I'm sick of not ever having a say in anything we do. I'm sick of being forgotten. Okay? I'm done," I said as I opened the back door to the Impala and grabbed my bag.
Dean grabbed my arm. "Whoa, what do you think you're doing? You can't bail on us. Where are you going?"
I laughed. "Who cares? You have each other, you'll be fine. It's always been the Sam and Dean show anyways. I just need to get away."
"Andrina please," Sam plead. I turned around to the sound of my full name. I smiled sadly at my older brothers.
"Just give me some time okay? If we spilt up looking for Dad we'll cover more ground anyways."
"No, I can't just let you go out on your own, it's too dangerous," Dean said still holding on to my arm.
"Dean, I'm 20 years old. I can handle myself." I snapped my arm out of his grip and began walking in the opposite direction.
"Andie," Dean called. "You can't do this to us."
I whipped around so fast he didn't have time to react and slapped him across the face. "I can. And I will. I'm sick of this. Don't you dare blame me."
He slowly turned back to face me, a red handprint beginning to appear on his cheek. "Fine. Leave." I couldn't tell if he looked upset or angry, but it could have been both.
I turned on my heel and began walking again. I thought about all the possibilities of where I could go, but one stuck out in my mind. Omaha.
I was going to find my mother.