Title: Habit
Spotlight On: The Real Syaoran
Word Count: 328
Summary: Syaoran reflects on his habits, and, in turn, his hand in starting this adventure. Chalk full of spoilers, this is an much more pronounced emo-side of him than ever seen before!
Taking the blame and fault for everything-it was a habit I'd acquired, starting back when I'd blamed myself for not taking the true Sakura's hand earlier.
It had caused so many repercussions, all of which I deemed my fault, and so I shouldered the blame.
Winding back time, a taboo, had caused the boy-Watanuki-so much pain, and my parents death.
My clone had eaten Fai's eye-my fault. I hadn't gotten there soon enough. That also made Fai becoming a vampire and Kurogane having to go out of his way to keep the mage alive with his own blood my fault.
The same clone destroying worlds in his quest for the feather-my fault because I didn't kill him.
Going to the root of the matter again: turning back time.
Perhaps the real Fai wouldn't have died, causing Yuui to be Fe Wong Reed's pawn. Maybe it wouldn't have solidified his belief he could only cause misfortune.
Kurogane's parents might not have died and demons might not have overrun where he lived, causing him to have a need to become stronger to protect those he loved. Which, in turn, caused Kurogane to be a violent nuisance making Tomoyo-hime banish him.
All that, in turn caused any misfortune on this trip.
Even though it sill might have happened without the influence of my taboo, because it did-my fault.
Sakura's clone's death-my fault. My clone killed her, and we've already established that the clone was my fault.
Everything me! ME! Yet Kurogane and Fai stayed by me, equipped with that knowledge. They didn't rip me limb from limb like I expected them, and had certainly seen as justified.
Was there any chance that even though everything and anything was thanks to me, it didn't, just maybe, didn't matter to them or in the grand scheme of things?
Could I cause something good to happen that would allow me to say proudly that "Yes, this is my fault!"?
Like taking 7-year-old Sakura's hand?