Title: Forever
Author: Sarah (Fortes in Fide)
Pairing/Character: Bella, Edward
Word Count: About 990
Rating: T
Summary: One-shot. AU. It's been five years since Edward left Bella and it's just another night for Bella.
Warning(s): None.
Disclaimer: I am in no way associated with Stephenie Meyer the creator of Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
"I shouldn't smoke."
Just after the last word of the sentence she put the cigarette to her lips and took a deep drag. She closed her eyes and pretended she was alone, that he wasn't sitting next to her, fingers drumming on the scuffed bar.
"Nasty habit. I'll kick it."
"What happened to you?"
"I don't know." She lies, tipping the glass back and feeling the watered down alcohol slip down the back of her throat. There was a time when the drinks here were stronger, lasted longer.
Bella glances sideways, trying to look at him without him knowing that she cares. He doesn't look different. Same profile. Same look in his eyes. She laughs a little to her self.
"I thought we were forever." She mutters under her breath, sarcastic, sincere, she doesn't know any more. She feels him freeze next to her. Does forever really mean that he will leave you behind, leaving no trace that he ever existed, skip town, and never call? Not for five years.
Does forever suddenly show up at your favorite bar, the one place where you can drink in peace, expecting some type of forgiveness?
Maybe.
"How often do you come here?" he asks, his hand fiddling with the change the bartender left on the shiny surface, never still, driven by some unseen energy. Bella watches the water sweat down the side of her glass, pooling into a ring around the bottom. She feels the charge of electricity that slips up her spine every time he's near. She swallows, trying to buy time, trying to find some composure.
"Every day, after work."
She needs it. The numbness. She's been through too much. The ugliness of her life staring her in the face, daring her to look away. The constant ache in her heart, an ever-present reminder of what she once had. It's too much.
"Bella..."
She couldn't look at him, couldn't stand to see the pity in his eyes. Instead she motioned to the bartender to bring another drink, another six ounces toward nothingness. She stared down at her now empty glass, wondering why now. She almost asks him, almost turns to look him in the eyes, search for meaning, almost opens her mouth and ask what he wants with her. Five years, too much pain. Five years.
Forever.
Forever isn't sitting in a bar, smoking cigarette after cigarette, and drinking bourbon neat until she has enough to fall into a sleep where she won't remember her dreams.
Forever wasn't her lips tingling as she remembered the way his mouth felt against hers, feeling the cold air his body emanated just inches away, knowing that she just had to lean forward…
Forever was dead, killed by the cold, sober reality of daylight, and the knowledge that nothing in her life could be depended on. Not him. Not anymore.
Bella shook her head. The bartender slid her new drink in front of her and she picked it up, cold in her hand.
"Get the hell out of here, Edward."
His name hissed from between her lips. It was the first time she'd said it in years. She still couldn't look at him, looking out the window, watching the neon red 'open' sign at the Chinese restaurant across the street flicker, the reflection of the street lamp against the pavement, the way the rain hit the windows of the bar, the feet of people rushing by. Anything but him.
Her drink still sat in her hands and she wanted to lift it up to her lips and feel the burn of the liquor down her throat. If she could, then she could go on like nothing had happened. Then she could push him out of her mind, out of her heart, out of her life. Again.
Bella sighed.
"Bella," Edward started and she felt him move closer, felt the coldness he radiated, the same coolness that made everything seem crazy and out of control.
"Please," she whispered. She closed her eyes and tried to shut out everything around her, to take herself back to a time when things were simpler and easier to understand. She tried to pretend her hands didn't shake if she didn't have a drink, pretend that the one boy she'd loved more than anyone wasn't sitting next to her, his eyes pleading.
A chill crawled up her arms and she felt goose bumps scatter across her skin. She shuddered, trying to shake off the sudden overwhelming feeling of sadness. She couldn't shake it, couldn't keep it from slipping into her head and rattling around, the little voice telling her that she'd let him walk away. Again.
Then she opened her eyes, slowly blinking back into reality.
Bella sat at the bar, frozen in the silence and suddenly she felt completely alone. Because she was.
He was gone. He walked away. Again.
Maybe he'd never been there. She wasn't sure.
Maybe forever was never meant to be.