Alrighty, I've had the idea for this little oneshot collection here but found myself stuck on what exactly to put in it. Then I got this little idea. I nearly laughed myself into a coma writing it and I hope you enjoy it as much as I did. Cheers, and throw some ideas for Middle Earth Fails my way!
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Disclaimer: I do not own Lord of the Rings or any of the characters contained therein. Nothing is mine...except the Precious! Hands off thieves!
The days had grown dark in the realm of Greenwood as Orcs pressed in on their borders. The Elves had suffered many attacks and their King struggled to continue on after the loss of his own dear wife. His son had been his light and he pushed passed the darkness surrounding his mind and Fea in order to care for the young child. Legolas was an energetic child and the King found himself in a battle to keep up with him. He devoted his spare time to his only son and the two had grown close in the years after the Queen's passing.
Alas, a King had duties to attend and throughout the past few days the Elven King found himself swamped with problem after problem and piles of documents and official correspondences. Legolas had not taken the separation from his father well and had been prone to fits during that time. The tiny blonde would demand to see his father and scream until he got his way.
At the age of thirty, Legolas was intelligent and knew of far more than a human child of six could understand but he was still only a child. He could be very sneaky and sly and at other times very manipulative. One of the most dangerous things in the world, after all, was a child that knew how adorable he was.
Legolas had been sent off with Galion for the day and Thranduil rubbed his forehead with a groan as he hunched over his desk. He had spent the entirety of the day pouring over reports from his border patrols and marking on the map where they had encountered bands of Orcs. There were so many reports, not just from his soldiers but also from members of his council pertaining to the amount of food, plans for new farmland, and various things that the tired Elf did not care to deal with. He stared longingly at the door connecting his study to his bedroom. He shook his head and stretched his aching back before grabbing the next paper from the pile.
Amidst all of the chaos in his realm Thranduil also had to attend to a party from Lothlorien and Imladris that were due to arrive today. It was a diplomatic meeting about trade route agreements and treaties that were bound to be more trouble than gain for his people. Refusal of these treaties would no doubt cause hostilities but the elves of the Greenwood had far more pressing matters to attend to.
Halfway through reading the document in his hands a knock sounded at his door. Thranduil gave a long sigh before standing and groaning at the various cracks that sounded from his stiff back. He swept his hair from his face before calmly moving to the door and opening it. He could feel a headache pounding away at his skull the moment he saw what greeted him on the other side.
One of the palace guards stood before him holding a tiny grinning mud ball in his arms and claiming it was Thranduil's son. The mud ball claimed this as well. He blinked owlishly for a few moments before sighing and taking the filthy thing from the guard's arms and thanking him. He looked down at the mud ball in his arms as he closed the door and listened with a sense of dread to the giggles falling from the smiling thing.
"Legolas." He said seriously, to get the mud ball's attention. "Just what have you been doing?" He asked when hyper green eyes met his.
He was quickly told the story of Legolas' day by a very hyperactive Elfling that wriggled in his grip and Thranduil's heart nearly stopped when the mud proved to be quite slippery. Legolas had been content to read with Galion for a while and then he grew bored so the two began to play some games together. After a while Legolas had suggested hide-and-seek, one of his favorite games Thranduil remembered with a shudder.
"Galion should know better." The King snarled in his head as he listened to the fast paced rambling of his son.
"So I left the room while he was counting and I found the perfect place to hide!" Legolas shrieked in his father's ear. "No one was in the kitchen and I was hungry anyway."
A feeling of complete and utter horror swept Thranduil from head to toe as he gazed, wide-eyed, at Legolas who had yet to stop giggling and wriggling. The child was practically bouncing in his arms.
"So I got my favorite snack!" Legolas cheerfully announced.
The panicked scream that sounded within Thranduil's regal skull was akin to one an Elf Maiden would make when meeting a rather untimely demise.
"Honeyed sweet cakes!"
Thranduil was going to take great pleasure in killing Galion later.
"So, I hid in the food closet and ate them waiting for Galion to find me. He's not very good at hide-and-seek." Legolas pouted. "I got bored so I went outside. It rained today Ada!"
Ah yes. That would explain the rambling, giggling, bouncing, slippery mud ball.
"So I played outside and then the guard found me and he said I could come and see you! I haven't seen you since breakfast and I missed you so I got really excited! I'm happy to see you again, you were not at the midday meal."
Was it that late?
Legolas hugged his father tightly and giggled as Thranduil carried him through his chambers and into the privy where he pulled the chain to fill the tub, connected to the hot springs, much to Legolas' dismay.
"I do not want a bath!" He shrieked and tried to wiggle out of his father's arms.
"You need a bath Legolas, you are filthy."
"No! I do not want one!" Legolas cried.
"Legolas, you are getting a bath if I have to fight you the whole time!"
Legolas grew silent when his father raised his voice and his bottom lip wobbled before he began to cry, quite pitifully.
"That is enough of that." Thranduil deadpanned and Legolas immediately stopped crying and sulked.
That trick worked on everyone but his father.
Legolas continued to struggle and scream as the tub filled and Thranduil wrestled the dirty Elfling out of his equally dirty clothes. Legolas wailed and shouted about how much he hated baths and did not want to take one. He attempted to dart from the room as Thranduil removed his leggings but Thranduil's hand caught him by the wrist and the stilled the young child with a glare.
"How about I take a bath with you Legolas?" Thranduil offered gently.
He had mud in his hair anyway.
Legolas eagerly accepted and his father joined him in the warm water shortly after he had been placed there. As Thranduil worked to scrub away the mud caked to the child he slowly began to recognize that it was in fact an Elfling beneath all of that mud.
"Why it is my son underneath all of this mud!" He exclaimed with a grin as Legolas giggled. "I had wondered if he had been replaced with and enchanted mud puddle!"
As Thranduil bathed his filthy son, elsewhere in the palace a servant welcomed the two parties from Rivendell and Lothlorien. He apologized and explained that the King was quite busy and unable to formally greet them.
"There has been much to attend to within our realm. I am certain that you are exhausted and long for a rest. Your chambers have been prepared for your arrival and we are mere hours from the evening meal. Allow me to show you the way." He offered with a gesture down the hallway.
"That would be appreciated indeed. Thank you." Elrond said with a sincere smile.
Beside him, Glorfindel and Erestor nodded. Celeborn, Haldir, and Galadriel felt the same relief and the group eagerly followed the servant who greeted them. He led them through the spacious caverns and informed them of the schedule that had been set for the next few days.
Back with a soaked Elf King and his son, the bath had ended and Thranduil spent a few moments making his son laugh and he smiled as they played. When the water began to cool Thranduil lifted Legolas out of the water and set him on the floor before beginning to climb out himself. He had not been expecting Legolas to run from the room, laughing as he did, the moment his feet hit the floor. Thranduil gaped for a few moments before leaping from the water, thankfully having the presence of mind to grab a towel and wrap it around his waist as he ran into the hallway after his wayward son.
"Legolas!" He bellowed and the tiny, naked, blonde only laughed.
As the sparsely dressed King of Greenwood chased his son through the halls the servant had nearly reached the section of the stronghold reserved for guest chambers. Suddenly an extremely flustered Galion rushed toward the servant.
"Have you seen Legolas?" He asked between breaths.
"You lost the King's son?!" The servant spluttered.
"He wanted to play hide-and-seek."
"You should know better by now." The servant glared.
Galion sighed in frustration and shame before blushing deeply when he saw the group standing behind the servant wearing baffled expressions.
"If you will please follow me, your chambers are just this way." The servant ground out between clenched teeth.
They walked for a few moments, an embarrassed Galion following closely behind. They hadn't gotten more than a few steps before an enraged yell echoed through the halls around them. The shouts were unintelligible and stopped shortly after they began. The group stopped for a moment before continuing on their way, and it was then that they heard the giggling that was slowly growing louder. Before any of them had a chance to think on this a very wet, very naked Legolas darted around the corner toward them.
The servant's eyes grew wide and he stepped forward, as did Galion, to collect the young Prince. They would have succeeded had an equally wet and angry Thranduil not jumped out from around a corner and snatched the child off his feet.
"Got you!" He yelled victoriously as he swung the child into his arms.
His victory was short lived, however as his foot quickly met with the water splattered on the floor. Thranduil's feet flew out from under him and he clutched Legolas to his chest protectively as his back hit the stone floor with a loud crack. The towel, loosely wrapped around his waist, flew free and settled itself on Glorfindel's head. The group gave identical winces and groans of sympathy as Thranduil's back made contact with the unforgiving floor.
Thranduil could barely breathe and only managed a strangled wheezing that worked very well to symbolize his complete agony. The weight of Legolas on his chest did not help with his difficulty in drawing air into his screaming lungs. Legolas laughed loudly and repeated the same demand.
"Again!" He giggled and bounced on Thranduil's chest causing him to give a quiet groan.
Galion retrieved the towel from Glorfindel's head as the group stared in shock at a wet and entirely naked Elf King and his son. Elrond harshly bit his cheek to keep from laughing and his face turned red from the effort. Galion draped the towel over Thranduil's waist to preserve whatever dignity the Elf had left while the servant snatched Legolas off of his chest.
"My King, are you alright?!"
Thranduil gave a pitiful whimper that inclined toward the affirmative. Galion crouched and assisted Thranduil to stand and made sure the towel was wrapped around his waist.
"Give him here." Thranduil rasped as he took hold of Legolas with a wince.
Elrond could see the nice bruise that was already forming on Thranduil's pale back.
"Thank you." Thranduil wheezed as he turned and limped away with a lopsided slouch down the corner, never having seen the group standing behind Galion and the servant.
"I must say Thranduil, your elfling is bigger than I had thought." Galadriel's voice spoke in his head as she smirked.
A quiet thunk echoed down the hallway followed by Legolas' voice.
"Do not hit your head on that Ada! That hurts!"
The group collapsed into laughter and Galion decided to make himself very, very scarce.
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Aaaaaaand there you have it! Did you like? Review? Ideas? Please? My favorite line was the internal scream. Leave a review and tell me your favorite part!