Stay With Me

ONE SHOT/ JISA/ S07E14/THE THINGS WE LOST - Different ending to the flashback scene where Lisa leaves Jack after his heart attack.

(English is not my native language, pls excuse any grammatical mistakes)
(So, it took me quite a while to finish at least one of the three Jisa stories that I've started. Really sorry! But here comes no.1 of 3. Although I really love the way things went in the show I came up with a little different ending to it. Hope you like it. )

„Ok, I'm gonna go. …. You take care of yourself?", she finished the conversation with a hurt expression. Without waiting for his reaction she turned on her heels and made her way out of the house.
Jack stood there. Alone. His eyes followed her tense figure as she disappeared. This was it, wasn't it? This was the way how it had to end between them. There was no tomorrow. No future. The last cards had been played and it was a bad play. The circumstances of their lives have driven them apart at last. They have fought against them a very long time but lost at the end. Was this a surprise? Their relationship had probably been doomed from the beginning. They were completely different and led completely different lives. She always had higher hopes but he just liked the whole thing as it was. Why always reaching out for higher stars when both of them were happy? But was this true? Had she been happy in their relationship all along? Lisa was much younger than him and she looked at life differently than he did. Whereas she still had many years to go, he was pretty much at the end of all of it. He lived his life with everything that came with it. The highs and the lows. The good times and the bad times. The surprises. The adventure. The disappointments. The pain. Jack remembered all the times he had lost someone dear to him. His grandfather. His father. His mother. Lyndy. Marion. Not to speak of all those wonderful friends that had gone before him. Life was awful. Now with this stupid heart attack he was pretty close to leave life as well, wasn't he? So why putting her through all of this? Why making it harder for her than it already was? Jack didn't want Lisa to feel the same pain like he did all those times. He didn't want to hurt her or to be a burden to her while he got older and weaker. She deserved a better life with someone she could live life in its fullest. Someone that could make her happy and that could keep up with her. Someone she could grow old with. The thought of leaving her alone in this damn world because he bit the dust made him sick. He didn't want to be the cause of her pain and her grief. So they needed to part. She needed to go her own ways. And he? Well, he would be alright, Jack guessed. Wouldn't he?
His eyes were still fixed on the spot where she disappeared. Deep inside he wished that he could hear her heels clicking on the wooden floor as she made her way back to him. He wished that all of this was just a bad joke. The pain was still there. She left him. He stood there. Alone. In this damn empty house. In this damn pyjama. With this damn bed that grinned at him mockingly. With this damn physical and emotional broken heart. He would have to take care of himself like she said. There would be no one who would give him strength. No one with a strong shoulder. No one who would catch him when he fell. No one who would kick his pitiful coward ass. And there would be no reason to recover at all. Why making the effort? Nobody cared anyway.
There were no footsteps that came back. In fact it was awfully quiet in this house and Jack started to get cold. Not because the temperature dropped but because his heart went cold. The realization that Lisa just left him for good terrified him. More than he would ever admit. The persuasion that he could live without her faded away more and more. Instead fear creeped in like the darkness of the night. Why did he always destroy everything that meant so much to him? He had it all. He was one of those few lucky old guys that was given a last chance. Never would he have presumed that he would love someone again like his first wife Lyndy. After decades have passed since her painful decease Jack was not even looking out for someone he could spend the rest of his life with. Why should anybody be interested in a man who had already passed most of it? In Lyndy he had found the love of his life and of course this only happens once in a lifetime, right? 'Wrong.', called out a voice in his head. He might have found the love of his life with Lyndy, but with Lisa it was different and it was crazy since Lisa was much younger than him, but still their souls merged like two drops of water. No one could ever understand what they shared with each other and no one could ever find the right words to explain what bound them together. The only thing that was clear was that it overcame their difference in age. Age didn't matter when they were together. He loved her for the honest and faithful person she was and she loved him for his thoughtfulness and sensitivity. He would be the most stupid guy on earth if he would let this go. Lisa was the only one who had the power to get him through this time of recover. She was the only real reason to do it at all. Life wasn't over yet. There were plenty of years waiting right ahead of him. Years of joy and happiness. It was a difference if you waste it away or if you grab the chance and live it! He needed to live it. He needed her to get there and he wanted her to be the one to share it with.
This thought finally got him out of his frozen state and moved him forward following Lisa out of the house. His feet carried him over the floor hastily. There was not much time left before it all slipped through his fingers for sure.

The door closed behind her as soon as she got into her car. Tears were running down her cheeks and left red marks on her sensitive skin. Lisa swallowed a sob and turned the key to start the engine. It roared out loud when she hit the gas pedal to back out. The sooner she got out of here the sooner she would get over him and the fact that he pushed her away. 'Yeah sure, you are probably the only one believing this shit', she told herself ironically. Why had she come here in the first place? Just because of his heart attack? Lisa knew this wasn't fully true. Yes, she worried about him and his health and of course she wanted to help but the true reason why she came back was that she missed him insanely. When she left him in the first place it already felt like the biggest mistake in her life. Yet, she forced herself through it, hoping that being apart would bring them back together. She hoped that he would finally realize how much she meant to him and call her back. She was an idiot! Of course he didn't. He didn't come to France for her and he didn't reply to her letter. Did he even love her? Why did she always get the feeling he did when she was around him, but his words and his actions sometimes told her different? 'You really should know him by now', the voice said reproachfully. Talking about feelings and emotions wasn't one of Jack's gifts. He was a man of principles, hard work and wise words. Finding that small door to his emotions was the mystery about him and Lisa found herself attracted to it. It captivated her right from the start. Since their first time at the fisherman's cabin. If he pushed her away like he just did than there must be a reason. A reason she didn't understand. Yet, she wanted to know so she could tell him wrong. She wanted to tell him that their love was stronger than his reason to send her away. This relationship wasn't over yet. Not before she had talked to him about it. Lisa stopped the car and turned off the engine. Her hand grabbed for the handle and pushed it open. When she got out of the car and her eyes finally looked up Jack was suddenly right in front of her and the next second she found herself pulled firmly into his arms. One hand behind her neck, the other moved around her waist and pulled her body hard against his which almost took her breath away. "Jack-", she gasped surprised, unsure about this sudden change of feelings. Her hands swirled through the air before they came to a rest on his arms, partly holding him, partly trying to bring a bit space between them, but with no luck. His grip was tight around her. She could feel the heath of his breath brushing the side of her neck. What was all this about?
"Stay...", he whispered into her ear which sent a cold shiver down her spine, "please stay with me, Lisa." The sound of his voice was full of desperation. An uncomfortable pause lay between them. She didn't know if it was the right time already to tell him that she had never really wanted to leave him in the first place. Jack must have felt her hesitation, so he tried again:
"I am sorry Lisa. So sorry that I pushed you away. And...and it's probably the most selfish thing to ask you to stay with me-", he stopped and moved back a bit to look at her. His hands left their spots and cupped her face. His eyes met hers and she felt a sharp pain in her gut when she recognized how much he suffered.
"It's selfish but I want you to know that I don't want you to be my nurse when I get older. It's just- ...I.-"
"Jack,", she needed to stop him. Her right hand moved to his chest. His heart beat against her palm. Fast but steady. A sign of life.
"There is no reason to be sorry for. It's not selfish because... because I want the same thing. I want to stay with you. But not as your nurse if this it what worries you.", her hand slid up to rest on his cheek as well which was a bit scrubby due to the lack of shaving. Lisa recognized once more how miserable he was. It broke her heart. He needed someone who would care for him. Someone that would care about him. Of course it was on her to fill that position. But apparently he was quite afraid that she would assume to be responsible for his well being. Heck, sure she was! Yet, Lisa didn't see herself as a nurse to him. He was the man she loved. The man she never stopped loving. He was the only reason to love and to live. She would take care of him because her heart belonged to him. Because he was part of her. Because she cared about them as a whole.
"I am staying as your partner. As the woman who loves you. Who will always love you." Again she felt tears welling up. This time due to the amount of emotions that came rumbling through her body. The last months had been a freaking emotional roller coaster and now that she stood here back at the place where it all began and where it all broke apart once...twice..., exhaustion overcame her. She was so tired. So damn tired. She desperately wanted to come home to a place where her soul could finally come to a rest, knowing that this place was right here with him. Not even her divorce from Dan had left her that devastated. Hell, it actually felt easier to tell him off than the permanent back and forth in that relationship with Jack. Yet, it was everything she wanted. She wanted this relationship with him so badly. Another tear escaped the corner of her eye and ran down her cheek tracing the dry path of the already shed tears. Jack leaned over and caught that tear with his lips in a soft kiss right under her cheek bone. She automatically closed her eyes to absorb everything that came with that familiar touch that she had missed for so long. Her arms ran around him and she pressed her face against his neck while she pulled him closer to her.
"I'll be the one if you want me to." she breathed, holding on to him tightly.
"You already are.", he placed another kiss right above her ear. "And I am so sorry to put you through all of this... and everything that might come." he added after a little pause of consideration. Jack wasn't sure if she would understand his worries but he needed to let her know that this was something that bothered him. There was a pause between them and he didn't know how to interpret it. Did she even hear what he just said?
"Lisa?"
"Hm?", she answered without an indication of incomprehension to his worries. Jack was confused and pulled back to look at her. In his head he was searching for the right words but smart as she was she had already understood what he tried to tell her and took the wind out of his sails: "We will get through it. Whatever might come, whatever happens to you, to me or to us, we will make it through. But Jack, as far as I know there is plenty time left before we need to deal with this, am I right?", an optimistic smile on her lips and a hopeful sparkle in her deep blue eyes. Jack laughed, the first real laugh in months and it felt good. It felt so damn good. To laugh, to have her in his arms, to be surrounded by her positivity. All of this already started to heal is broken heart. Jack was right, it was a difference if you waste the time that was still left or if you live it. He was grateful that he got another last chance to live his life with this beautiful woman.
"Yes, you are right." and he pulled her into his arms once more.

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Thx for reading :)