A/N: Ste POV. Although there is a little plot, this is mostly just M so be warned. About three chapters long.

First posted fic of these guys, so a little nervous. But I'm totally hooked on the dynamic between these two, and if you guys like this there is one more completed fiic awating.

Please let me know what you guys think :D

29/07/2012

I wake up panting, heated, my sheets tied in knots around my feet. Rubbing my eyes from the dream-bought memories, I lift my phone to my face and immediately regret it – the date only tempting those memories deeper. I really shouldn't have left Doug last night, I groan, realising my body's tension could only have one release. But I did it so that I didn't wreck what we have over memories. I want to maintain some of the sweetness of us, the harmony of 'Stug' as Leanne calls us. I don't want to lose sight of the idyllic peace I reached within our second kiss, first proper kiss. I could have lived in that forever, when Doug broke it I only craved more. I was so happy - he was all I wanted, my business partner, my kids' friend, my boyfriend. It was perfect. So when did I start to lose it? The easy answer is when Brendan was waiting for us after we first made love. I guess there was always something even before that though, but seeing my ex when my body was heated by another was like being exposed to kryptonite or something. When we went back to bed I pushed Doug away, said I was worried about Amy and how she would react to our new landlord; I just couldn't stop seeing him though.

Dreams that night bought the first lot of heat, wrapped in memories of all the things Brendan used to say. I swear he used to be able to talk me in to coming, he actually did once - I can't stop the cock of my smile as I remember that particular phone call. Every dream since that day, every dream for one month, has bought a new memory of Brendan Brady. They're sometimes crossed with fantasies, things I used to hope for when we were together, like holidays; they're always about sex. The man knew my body even better than I did from the first moment. Even the first time, in that cellar, I was so exposed by him that he could read me like a treasure map for his ministrations. I like to think I'm pretty unpredictable in bed; he's entirely unpredictable in everything. Every single time though he knew exactly what I wanted. Whether it was hard and fast, because I'd been working with him all night and I was about to explode, or slow and deep because it's the perfect way to wake up; or it's clawing and passionate and long drawn-out and full of possession and longing because we'd been apart for too long, because I needed him inside me again but I wanted it to last forever. Like that time a year ago today, the time when he nearly shattered my mind into lust. The time when his actions, as well as his words, told me what he hadn't. The time that is beyond the best I've ever had, still. The time I've just dreamed about, I groan into my pillow as my cock pulls at the memories.

Every dream is one of him. To be honest I've done quite well to keep my focus on Doug when we're…y'know. There was a time recently, when they were in Ireland, the fire faded, Brendan Brady was still the fucking star of my dreams, but I didn't wake up with longing. Cheryl had to change all that didn't she though? When she told me he still loved me. He was stood right behind us, he must have heard her say it, I tried to look into his gaze to see what he thought, to convince myself it was a lie, but he barely looked at me. How am I supposed to know what page he's on? I don't even know what planet he comes from! To be honest I'm still expecting some form of pay back for the stunt I managed to play with the Deli. I'm half expecting to see a mortgage bill with his name on it. Or at least some form of con, after all I have cheated him out of eight and a half grand. But I guess one step forward was him becoming the landlord of this place. Triggering a whole lot of new fantasies – because I needed more! So he's still there in control of my life, still in control of my body. He's still separating me from any other guy without even being fucking present.

Shaking myself for my stupidity, I aim for a cooling shower. But this morning, the thirtieth of fucking July, even the rushing water reminds me of him. The time I tempted him into the shower at his, after a long afternoon of fucking; and he complained about how many bottles Cheryl and Lindsey had, until I stepped up behind him, taking his cock in my hands to silence him. God the way his cock looks in my hands, the way it feels. He is so big, but the tiniest slip of my thumb over his head has him begging my name, he makes me feel so God damn powerful. I slam my fist into the shower wall as my cock starts to pull again. Maybe there is only one way of getting rid of this this morning. And maybe it wouldn't be too bad, maybe it would get it out of my system and I could focus on Doug again. I don't see what choice I have, so I run my thumb along the vein on the underside of my cock, and my body purrs in gratitude. I bend down, pouring some Calvin Klien body wash on my hands, and select a memory, like my mind is a jukebox of "times I've been fucked by Brendan". My eyes slip closed as I choose one, it has to be that one doesn't it? It is after all the one year anniversary.

In the shower my hand starts slowly, index finger running up my thigh as I prepare.

He begged me, his eyes were imploring, as his hands clearly shook for their need to touch and possess. The first kiss was mind-blowing; there was no holding back, his tongue deep within me. Controlled by the possession we crashed against the wall to his huff of air.

I wrap my fingers along one ball as I remember the way his body moved so easily from mine. I close my eyes and see that surprise in his gaze as I out-tricked him; I leant in for the second kiss before he even recovered from the first. It wasn't long before he gained control though. His nails dug into my hips as he flung me against the wall. And his teeth grabbed hold of my bottom lip, sucking and grating and causing my loud, unashamed moan.

My teeth take hold of my bottom lip as I walk further into the shower, the water rushing down my body. The tiptoe of the water against my cock is almost too much teasing as from behind my eyelids I can picture him so clearly.

He took the passion he wrapped me in, running his hands down my body and quickly undid my belt, popped my button and pulled the zipper. Within the lust of his kiss, and the passion caused by a month's separation, his touch released a whimper. I can still clearly see the fucking smile that spread quickly across his lips. The sight he left my clinging onto, before he was on his knees in front of me, my trousers and boxers half way down my legs.

I wipe my tongue over my stinging lip as I remember the way he'd liked his lips. I recall that look of pure focus in his eyes as he practically looked heat into my cock. The gaze in his eyes was like he was about to start work on some form of masterpiece.

Eased by the shower gel, I allow my hand to work slowly over my member. It was the first time he took me into his mouth. I didn't know if he'd done it on other guys before, but God was he good at it. Practically deep throating me in the first thrust. My hands slid all over the wallpaper beneath his stairs as I searched for any hold, anything to cling onto, anything to stop my knees from trembling as his tongue and lips spread fire in every muscle. His eyes fixed mine, the look unreadable. His hands grabbed for mine and left them rested against his head. My fingers drifted through the strands of his thick hair and his lips almost pulled at the corners.

Fuck! I almost slide across the shower at the forgotten power of that image - Brendan's lips stretched over my cock, the corners tilting into that moustache as he fucking grinned. His eyes were fixed purely on me, as he watched impatient for my climax.

Impulsively my lips whimper his name into the rushing water, wetly so it's mainly vowels because I'm that turned on. I'm so glad Amy is out with the kids, I can be as loud as I want. As my hand wraps the width of me I moan and that seems to spark a deeper fire inside me, so I do it again. My hand is tighter as I keen, head up, droplets of water play against my parted lips.

My licentious mind recalls the feel of that ridiculous moustache against my balls as he fucking swallowed me. I was in so deep, and my mind almost cracked under the pinpricks of moustache. I use my free hand to rub a tightened ball.

Eventually, he slipped me out, slowly, so I felt fucking massive, almost completely. And then he suckled the head. His tongue played with the skin. It was a trick I'd done on him a million times, and I knew then how evil it was because Jesus did I want to come, but it just wasn't enough.

I bite my lips to trap a laugh as I play against the head of my cock. The skin is so sensitive, it's almost too much to bear, but anything to make the memories more real. My hand shakes as I force myself to keep up the tease, and I know how close I am. So I skip ahead in the memory, I only have a few seconds.

In reality he made me fuck his mouth for hours. That smile only getting wider. Every time I almost came he pulled away, suckling the head, causing the flames of climax to chill only a little. In the end I had to beg him to fuck me. I needed him inside me so badly. He moaned as he drew his mouth away. I knew he wanted to taste me. He was doing everything to please me though, everything for me. And if I insisted we fucked, we fucked.

We fucked on the sitting room floor, by that table. And either he had got larger, or I had got so used to Noah's dick I had gotten tighter. Either way he stretched me completely. So, it was like the first time; every pull from his cock felt like I was being rocked by the fucking ocean.

With the memory so tight my arse cries at the lack of attention. I place a finger inside myself. And my body purrs. Impulsively his name falls loud from my lips.

"Brendaaan."

"Steven," my eyebrows tighten in confusion as his voice sounds so real. It's weird, I don't remember replaying the sound of his voice, and it's even odder because his voice sounded close, like it came from the same room. Like it came from the same room. My eyes slam open. Shit.