Author's Note:
This story is old. Really old. Over 5 years old. I like to think my writing and conceptualization has improved since then. I'm publishing it because of what it represents. I wrote it in response to the death of a friend. Despite the fact that I know I can do better, it still means something to me.
The song "Break Away" is what was playing in my head at the moment I was informed of my friend's accident. It seemed a fitting song.
I hope you enjoy it!
Disclaimers: Golden Sun belongs to Nintendo. "Break Away" belongs to Kelly Clarkson.
Story: Break Away
Characters: Ivan, Sheba
Genre: General, Tragedy, Songfic
*****
When I was growing up, I was the quiet child of the town. I was the type of child who preferred thinking over talking. Thinking, learning, and admiring everything around me, the elements, the people, the world. I enjoyed studying to gain knowledge, and I still do. And I had one particular place I always retreated to when I wanted to be alone.
A short distance from town, my "spot" was a cliff overlooking the crashing waves of the small land-locked sea. My frequent visits didn't depend on weather. Rain or shine, I would venture to the same spot. It was beautiful and soothing there. And there was much to stimulate the mind, the one thing I took the greatest pleasure in.
I used to wonder about the future, what was to come for me. I always concluded that I would always remain the quiet little boy of the small town. And I'd smile, anticipating the happy events I hoped would fill my future.
In the past I always used to visit here when I needed to think. It was a place to find respite and a place to ease my mind. I came to seek knowledge, to meditate, to teach myself about the world around me. But this time, meditation is the last thing on my mind.
I grew up in a small town,
And when the rain would fall down,
I'd just stare out my window.
Dreaming of what could be,
And if I'd end up happy,
I would pray.
I had always believed that I could learn everything about the world from books. My appreciation for spending time in nature was merely that, a love for the beauty around me. However, I've learned now that nature itself can teach so much more than books, study, and meditation could ever do.
"Even the slightest spec of dust can change the course of the wind," a wise friend once told me. It wasn't until now that I understood, to the full extent, what she meant.
Life, like the wind, moves quickly in one direction, but the smallest of actions, the most insignificant of decisions can change life's course in the blink of an eye. It is this that makes life so wonderful; the capriciousness that makes it so alluring.
As a small boy, I often felt out of place in the world. I'd speak, but few would listen. I'd work or do favors, but rarely hear words of gratitude. I'd feel like the only person without a real friend. On occasion, I still experience a similar feeling, but I think now, after everything we've been through I know I'm no longer alone.
I sit here, in the same spot I have always sat for years. The very same spot where the grass has worn away, and the soil has been softly indented from my frequent visits. I can't help but feel I am merely returning to an old routine, and I wonder if my ways of the past are really what I want for my future.
Try hard to reach out,
But when I tried to speak out,
Felt like no one could hear me.
Wanted to belong here,
But something felt so wrong here.
So I'd pray,
I could break away.
A gust of wind brushes past my face, whisking the hair from my eyes. Its softness is so consoling, but then, the wind has always been a friend. If one listens closely, the breeze has so much to say. From it, one can learn anything to their heart's desire.
I face the horizon, and, standing, spread my arms to the sky, embracing the wind. The wind is always moving and changing, and I begin to wonder if now isn't the time for me to change. To change my approach on life, to change my childhood's paradigm.
My face turned to the bright, warm rays of the sun, I dream of the days when life seemed simple. But I know it isn't, nor will it ever be. Be that as it may, perhaps there is a way to make all the difficult situations, all the dark times, seem much brighter. Perhaps there is a way forget the sad times, and create much more of the glad times.
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
The warm winds have begun to blow from across the sea. The rushing ocean's waves crash against the cliff, spraying my face with droplets of water. The trees above me cast long shadows from the late afternoon's sun. I feel as if I could drift into a calm slumber right here. Yet, I am invigorated in a way that would never allow sleep to touch me. Such is how my life has felt in recent years.
The past years have been a whirlwind of an adventure for me. Faster than I ever thought possible, I was thrust from my safe life to a world of continuous danger. And, even though I was surrounded by threats of the journey, it forced me to experience something new; to leave the protection of my home and pursue more than just my sheltered view of "knowledge."
I feel I have been changed in that respect. What was once a naïve "enlightenment," is now a down-to-earth reality. It is inconceivable how much more I understand things now than I did back then. And how I appreciate everything more because of it.
Perhaps taking a risk is far more beneficial to my mind than I had ever dreamed. A risk taken can build up one's character quite wonderfully. One experience such as I have had in these past years can speak thousands in comparison to a life locked to one location with books and study.
Wanna feel the warm breeze
Sleep under a palm tree
Feel the rush of the ocean
Get onboard a fast train
Travel on a jet plain
Faraway and breakaway
As I stand here reminiscing on my past, planning for the future, I admire nature's world. All things are in sound harmony with everything else around it. When I am here I feel as though I am one with it as well, exactly how I have felt in the presence of my closest friends.
The wind's speed has certainly picked up since I arrived. It seems as though the wind could almost lift me from my feet so I could fly to the sun. What a rush that would be! I certainly wish I had the power to control it in such a way. She did. I envy her for it.
Though, now that I think about it, perhaps I do carry the power to fly—figuratively speaking. Maybe by breaking from my protective shell, I can fly into a sky of endless possibilities for the future, my future.
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky,
And I'll make a wish, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
But I won't forget all the ones that I love.
I'll take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
The doors of opportunity had swung wide open for me long ago. I'd just never taken the initiative to, nor wanted to, take that resounding step through. Now, I think, is time for me to take that opportunity. And even though I may not know what path lies ahead, and what awaits me down the corridor of life, step by every inevitable step, I will continue to move on. To face my life as I live it.
Building with a hundred floors
Swinging 'round revolving doors
Maybe I don't know where they'll take me
But I gotta keep movin' on, movin' on,
Fly away, break away.
On my journeys I met many wonderful people, and many became treasured friends. But of each of these, one left deeper footprints on my heart and mind than any other. She was very dear to me. She pushed me, inspired me to realize my limits.
For that is how she lived her life, to the limit. Everything she did had a purpose, a goal behind it. She drove herself to understand how far she could go, how strong she could be.
She was caring and trusting, aspiring and hoping, independent and strong. She was a dreamer, though she didn't always look it. She could be infuriatingly sarcastic, yet with each sarcastic word that left her mouth, there were double that of kind things she had to say.
Of all my friends, I felt closest to her. And as I slowly come to terms with what I want for my life, I can't help but wish she were here with me.
The memories of that fateful day still ring frighteningly clear for me. And I can't help but notice the sharp sting in my heart. The moment she left our lives was the moment I realized how important she was to me. I loved her dearly. Ever since that day, I've felt as though a part of me has gone missing, and will never be replaced. Even so, her life, her memory, her hopes, and her dreams will never be forgotten.
She has given my life a purpose.
So now I've decided, its time to take a different approach to life, to love, to the world. If I said I was going to do it in honor of her, she would have laughed and said, "Ivan you're being foolish." And she'd be right. Instead, I will break away from my self-made restrictions on life for my own self-improvement, in memory of her.
I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly,
Though it's not easy to tell you good-bye
Take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away.
Out of the darkness and into the sun,
I won't forget the place I come from
I gotta take a risk, take a chance,
Make a change, and break away…
I will finally break away, Sheba, in memory of you.
Break away, break away…
*****
[Author's Note] This was written in memory of a good friend who passed away a year ago (1987-2004). Though we were never even remotely as close as the characters of this fic, I still felt a sense of loss when he passed. He was a great kid who lived more in his short years than many do in a lifetime. He was a son, a brother, a jokester, a proud environmentalist, a runner, a team player, a friend. He took everything in his life to the limit, he was our shining star. Rest in peace my friend, you are missed.