so this is my fill for faberry week prompt #3: friends with benefits. hope you guys enjoy! oh and let's just pretend Finn's still alive.
If I would have known that you wanted me
the way I wanted you
then maybe we wouldn't be two worlds apart
but right here in each other's arms
-Almost Is Never Enough, Ariana Grande and Nathan Sykes
Kurt Hummel used to be Rachel Berry's best friend. He used to be the person she went to when she had problems. He used to be the person she shared gossips with. He used to be the person she would first think of when she had good news or sad news, just about any news, to tell someone about. He used to be.
But ever since he and Blaine got married, they saw each other lesser. They talked lesser. Their respective lives got busier and they could barely find the time to see each other for more than three times a week. He was still her best friend; he just wasn't that person anymore.
Nowadays, she would use her time to turn on her computer and Skype with Quinn Fabray when she had problems or gossips or news to tell. She was her person. To think of it, Quinn Fabray had always been that person for her since their senior year. It was only that time and distance wouldn't allow them the chance to explore this unique relationship they both had.
She saw Quinn in person almost every day ever since the blonde had moved to New York after she graduated with honors from Yale. But they would sometimes Skype if they couldn't see each other that day. Santana would often express jealousy at their close bond so Quinn had decided to spend every Thursday with Santana.
Kurt would often tease them to just get married and be done with it. Because honestly, they could barely see one without the other. If Rachel was there, there would be ninety-nine per cent chance to see Quinn there too. Rachel had often dumped her boyfriends or be dumped because she would rather spend time with the blonde rather than them.
Quinn, however, had claimed that she was bisexual after her two-time thing with Santana – Rachel was shocked to hear about that in the first place and she almost unleashed her full-on rage on the Latina for reasons she hadn't bothered to take time to explore – and went on to hook up with a bunch of people. Rachel had rarely seen the same person on Quinn's arms for more than a week. Quinn even got back together with Sam for a month and that was the longest relationship she'd had.
Santana pointed out that Rachel would often been sulking or had mood swings whenever she got to know that Quinn was in a relationship or hooked up with someone. Rachel had greatly protested and said that she just didn't want Quinn to be heartbroken in the end when really, Quinn was the heartbreaker in every single relationship she'd had.
"I don't even see you acting like that when Finn said he hitched town with Malia," Santana quipped.
Rachel had simply rolled her eyes and stormed into her room. Yes, she was still roommates with Santana despite the fact that they could both afford their own homes at this point in their lives. But she felt comfortable having a roommate and a convenient space as her home. So they figured why not just keep on with this living arrangement.
So it came as a surprise when Quinn suddenly texted her one Sunday, claiming that she couldn't make it. Rachel figured it was because of her job as a freelance editor and that she was too busy this weekend to make time. She then changed out of her dress and pulled on a pair of comfortable sweats and a baggy shirt before settling on the couch to watch the television.
Coincidentally, Santana wasn't at home as well. Rachel supposed that she was probably out prowling in some club for a one night stand.
Hey Rachel, I'm sorry. But I've got this intern who's just really dumb and I have to stay behind to show him the grasp. Raincheck?
Rachel blinked at her phone and pulled it nearer to make sure that she'd read the text right. It was Sunday, the only day that they could hang out all day together. And Quinn was passing it up to teach a dumb intern? Quinn had already rainchecked a fortnight ago! Her brows drew together and she stuck her head out of the bedroom to see Santana texting on her phone with a sleazy smile, dressed to go out.
"Hey, Santana. Do you know about this intern guy Quinn's talking about?" Rachel questioned, showing her phone.
Santana spun around, her eyes wide and her jaw opened. She looked as if she'd been caught in something. Rachel's eyes narrowed slightly at that. Santana blinked a couple of times before clearing her throat and walking towards to Rachel to see the phone.
"Uh yeah, she said something about a really stupid intern. I guess he must have to be pretty dumb, huh?" her roommate said with a nervous laugh and she swung back around. "Sorry! I have to go! Enjoy!" she practically squealed before she slid the door closed behind her.
Rachel stared at the door for a moment, trying to comprehend how dumb this intern was and why Santana seemed so twitchy just now. And then she shrugged, deciding to pay no mind and went on with her Grey's Anatomy marathon.
Rachel had the day off this Friday so she slept later than usual but not later than Santana. She decided to be kind and make breakfast for Santana after she'd showered and changed. She was humming to Barbra Streisand when she saw Quinn coming out of Santana's bedroom.
In an over length shirt and panties.
She hadn't dropped the spoon she was using when she saw the blonde in that attire. She felt something stirred in her stomach. She certainly dropped it when Santana came out behind Quinn and turned her around to kiss her. On the lips.
The clatter shocked them both and the lazy smiles on their faces were swept off as they spun around quickly to look at her wide eyed while she gawked at them. The stirring in Rachel's stomach was gone, replaced by something close to queasiness and she thought she could feel a painful pang in her chest.
"Mind telling me what's going on?" she squeaked when she could find her voice.
It turned out that they had started this Friends-With-Benefits thing on the first Sunday that Quinn had blown her off. Rachel didn't want to know the details on how or when or how. She could barely stop herself from throwing up when Quinn told her it was that day.
She felt betrayed. She felt baffled. She felt painful. That night, when Quinn had bid her goodbyes and Santana had apologized one more time, she lay in bed and attempted to process what had happened today. Her heart felt like it was being squeezed at a secondly rate. And she had no idea why.
So she called the only person she knew who would listen to her. Well, except Quinn.
She hashed out everything and was breathing hard and nearly sobbing when she was done. The other person simply sighed.
"You're in love," Kurt said.
"What?" Rachel whisper-squealed. "No, I'm not!"
"Face it, Rach. You are."
"That's impossible, Kurt. First of all, I'm straight! Secondly, Santana's my roommate. If I was in love with her, won't I know?"
"Whoever says that it's Santana you're in love with?" Kurt deadpanned.
Rachel tensed and she felt goose bumps running up her skin as soon as she came to the realization. She thought back on the last five years since Quinn moved here. It felt like she just came upon the biggest mystery of all time. Only she didn't feel elated. She felt more despaired than ever.
"Oh my god," she whimpered. "What am I gonna do?" She buried her face in her hands.
"Do what you do best. Confront."
Rachel didn't have to leave early for the theatre on Saturdays. But she couldn't bear to see Santana without breaking down. Despite the sudden awareness of her intense feelings for Quinn Fabray, she came to terms with it quickly. Because she had always been taught to be open to any kind of relationship and she guessed she had always known.
And she had a plan.
She called the theatre to ask for the day off because she had some personal matter to attend to. Then she went out for a run that lasted an hour long. Then she came back and avoided Santana to shower and get dressed. She ignored Santana again and went out to the florist to pick up a bouquet of gardenias. On the subway to her destination, she called Kurt for courage. Blaine ended up sending her a text that said 'COURAGE' in caps.
She ended up in front of Quinn's building, hoping that Quinn would be in. But she supposed she was kind of crazy to assume Quinn won't at this early hour. She tightened her grip on the bouquet and nodded reassuringly to herself before stepping into the building, smiling at the doorman and walking into the open elevator.
She tapped her foot impatiently as she waited for the doors to open. When they finally opened, she hesitated for a millisecond and strode down the hallway to Quinn's door. The dolphin knocker seemed to be mocking her and she swallowed. She nearly bolted but her feet felt like they'd been screwed to the floor.
She shook her head like a puppy and reached up to knock the door. She cleared her throat and waited for the door to open. When it opened, Quinn was standing there, clad in a white tank top and navy jacket with a pair of beige slacks. Rachel's throat dried at the sight and she couldn't find words. Quinn had always been so beautiful.
"Rachel?"
She was snapped out of her reverie and looked up at Quinn who was looking at her in apprehension. "Um, hi…Quinn," she added clumsily and released a nervous laugh. "This is for you." She thrust the flowers at Quinn and urged her to take it.
Quinn looked down at it for a moment and Rachel was certain she saw something flash in Quinn's eyes before replaced by delight and confusion. She frowned with a smile and accepted the flowers. "Thanks, Rach. What are these for?"
"Can I come inside?" Rachel requested.
The blonde nodded and she stepped back so Rachel could get in. She closed the door behind the brunette and Rachel watched as she so gallantly walked towards the dining table and carefully deposited the bouquet on top before turning around to face Rachel, leaning against the table.
"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday. We didn't mean for you to find out like that. We didn't even mean for anyone to find out," Quinn apologized.
"Please stop talking," Rachel pleaded softly, holding her hands out to emphasize her plea. Quinn shut up, her eyes wide. Rachel nodded and smiled gratefully as she lowered her arms to brush her hands on her jeans nervously. "Okay," she said to herself. "Okay." She gulped and took a step forward. "When I saw you and Santana…kiss yesterday," she stuttered and couldn't help but smile when Quinn blushed, "I was…I felt something unpleasant. And when you told me about your relationship and when it started, I felt betrayed. And I felt hurt."
Quinn frowned slightly. Rachel laughed humorlessly again and she rubbed her temples to calm her racing mind. "I didn't know why. But then I called Kurt that night and I told him everything, he told me something that made me think back to all those times we spent together. I thought back to how I would dump my exes because I would rather spend time with you. I thought back to how I could just abandon my work to take care of you when you're sick. I thought back to how I could tell you everything and anything and not feel ashamed. I thought back to how I get sulky or moody whenever you hooked up with someone. And I realized something."
Quinn licked her lips and she lowered her gaze to the floor. She shook her head. "Rachel," she breathed.
Rachel looked at her for a moment. That moment of clarity seemed clearer to her as she stared at the blonde beauty standing before. So gracious. So beautiful. So Quinn. "I'm in love with you, Quinn," Rachel whispered. The moment she said those words, she'd never felt lighter or more relaxed in her life. Quinn looked up and Rachel was surprised to see tears welling up in her eyes. Rachel walked towards her and cupped her cheek. "I don't know how. I don't know why. But I fell for you. I fell hard. I don't even know when I fell for you. I just…I know that I love you, so much. You're it. You're the person. And I want you. I want to be in a relationship with you. I want to kiss you. I want to take you out on silly little dates. I want all of it," she choked out.
"Rachel," Quinn whispered, a drop of tear rolling down her cheek.
"I would totally understand if you don't reciprocate. I just…I wanted to tell you. Because you're my best friend. And you're most possibly the only person I could love this much in my life. Hell, the feelings I feel for you? What I had with Finn can't even compare. This is so much more."
Quinn watched her for a second and then Rachel was taken aback once again when the blonde lurched forward and kissed her on the lips. It felt as if her world was brighter and so much more colorful with that one kiss. Rachel moaned and pushed Quinn back against the table, slanting her lips upon Quinn's once more. Quinn gasped when Rachel licked her upper lip. They kissed for a longer moment before air became a necessity and they released each other, their foreheads resting against one another.
Rachel smiled and frowned at the same time. "What…what does this mean?"
Quinn shook her head and encircled her arms around Rachel's waist. "You have no idea how long I have waited for you to say that." At Rachel's confusion, Quinn laughed. "Rachel, I have been in love with you forever."
Rachel drew back to see Quinn more clearly. "But…but those hookups and Santana," she stammered.
"I was trying to get over you," Quinn chuckled. "Santana was just there. Brittany wasn't here and you weren't here so we were kind of using each other."
"That's so poisonous."
"It's all for fun," Quinn said with a shrug.
"Oh my god!" Rachel squealed and leaped forward to hug Quinn. "I love you so much."
"I love you too," Quinn whispered and tightened her arms around Rachel. "But are you ready? Are you ready to do this? Because I have been waiting and I really don't know if I can wait much longer."
Rachel pulled away and wiped Quinn's cheek with her thumb. "With you, I'm ready for anything," Rachel promised.
And their lips met to seal that promise.
it's probably not as good as you thought it might be. anyway, thank you for reading! remember to review :)