I've always thought life was against me. Like life came up to me and slapped me in the face and asked me "Why are you still here?" To tell you the truth I've never had a good life as with most kids. My mom died giving birth to me leaving me with my abusive dad and my brother. Jack told me it's not because of me. My dad doesn't hate me. He just couldn't take mom's death very smoothly. I knew he was just saying that to comfort me. I knew the truth. He hated me because I was the cause of her death. My dad couldn't even look at me. All he just does is beat me and tell me how worthless I am.
I always prayed every night that all that's dad's done to me he would get something back for it and he did. While he got his butt in the penitentiary Jack and I landed in the refuge. When I heard we were going to the refuge I got excited because a refuge means people would give you a home to keep you safe away from all the harm and danger. But I was wrong the refuge is nothing but a prison. I was the only girl in there and you can expect being in a room with a bunch of boys it did not turn out so well.
Boys would try to feel me up and harass me. Jack was always there to save me and one night he said there was a place that was made out of clay. A place where all my dreams come true. A place where the moon shines big and yellow. It was a place called Santa Fe. He said someday when we're out of the refuge he's gonna take me to Santa Fe. He said all we can do there is ride horses, chase the sun, and just relax. He's basically been more of a parent for me than my dad was.
I trusted him too much though. And because of my foolish mistake I landed with more trouble. One day he decided to come up with an escape plan to get us both out of here. When Snyder and the guard weren't looking we made a dash for the door and ran out. We had to run fast so the gates wouldn't close in on us. I didn't have any shoes on so it was harder for me to run on the hot, rocky cobblestone pathway. I tripped on some uneven ground and scraped my knee. I tried to run faster but it was so hot and my knee was killing me. I yelled out for Jack to slow down and to wait for me.
I was hoping he would come back for me but he didn't. He just ran out of the refuge without even looking back. That was the last time I ever saw my brother. After my failed escape I was sent back to the refuge but under harsh punishments. I was beaten, tormented, and even raped to the point where I would have to beg for mercy from Snyder. He found the punishment for a girl like me in the refuge. He made me his personal slave. I had to do everything. I had to clean for him,cook for him, and even entertain for him and how I had to entertain him.
He even gave me my own personal cell how sweet of him. Every night I look at the moon and try to think how the moon and the sky is at Santa Fe. My brother told me that Santa Fe is the place where my dreams would come true. Maybe he's right. I don't care if I'm alone or not but I'm gonna get to Santa Fe without Jack. Why should he be able to appreciate it with me if he abandoned me here. I bet he pretended to love me so he can get himself out of there. If he would at least look back I would think he would be at least a little bit generous.
Again I would pray every night before I go to sleep for my sweet escape. I long to escape. I long to feel the wind in my face blowing past my hair. I want to know what freedom feels like. I've even started to draw tally marks on the wall to record how many days I've been here. And I think the angels from heaven heard me because the day after that it was like no one put any effort in watching me. I was cleaning the floors and the door was left open. It wasn't wide open but it was open enough for me to slide my body through. I put down my rag gently and made a dash for the door. I slid out trying to make sure the door didn't creak. I looked back behind me and still no one was after me. Not even the bell sounded that a kid's trying to escape.
The gates were closed when I got there. It was too high for me to climb up. There weren't any bars that were loose enough for me to jiggle a bit and slide out. I looked down and found out that the only way out was to crawl under even if it means getting dirty. I crawled out of the barred gate and ran away from that prison.
Since my parents are gone and it's been a long time since me and brother got sent to the refuge our house has changed a lot. The house got cleared out and all the windows and doors were hammered down shut. I managed to knock one of the boards down on the door to get in. I needed a place to sleep and I don't think they'll be searching in a place that's been abandoned for years. I walked around the now vacant house trying to remember all the good memories I had in here. It was hard to do that. There was never any good memories.
I walked up to my old room which I shared with Jack at the time. This is the only place I can think of for sleep at the moment. Tomorrow and the day after that probably the alleys. I woke up in an unfamiliar room looking up at unfamiliar faces. I was looking at boys and not just any boys. Newsboys. I started panicking and screaming. "We're not here to hurt you. We're here to help you." The boys tried to take the blanket off my face and I kept screaming and kicking. I was scared for my life. I thought they were gonna play around with me in their own ways.
"I told you let me take care of the girl." I looked up and saw another girl about the same age as me walk up with some tea in her hand. "Here drink this it'll help you warm up quicker. I'm sorry about this but one of our newsies saw you sneak in the old abandoned house by the outskirts of Manhattan. He took you in here while you were asleep. What were you doing in there?" she asked.
"I just escaped from the refuge. And that old abandoned house was my home. I used to live there with my brother Jack Kelly but so far I have no idea where he is at all." I tried to make myself sound innocent. I don't want them to think I'm trying to avoid my family which sounds like a horrible thing. "Jack Kelly! You're his sister! He's been talking nonstop about you. He's been trying to search for you." I highly doubted that in my opinion. The newsies came back again in the room presenting my brother now older.
"Eliza is that you?" He looked at me in the eyes more closely and I tried to avoid making direct eye contact with him. "Eliza that is you. Oh my goodness I've missed you so much!" When he was about to wrap his arms around me I slapped him in the face. "Don't try to sweet talk your way out of this. If you would only look back and just helped me I may not be this mad at you. Don't you know what Snyder did to me after you ran off!" My voice started to escalate louder and I started to startle some of the boys.
"He made me his personal slave and I had to do everything for him. I was practically scrubbing underneath his feet for him. I had to cook and clean and sometimes entertain him in the most disgusting way possible. And where were you when that all happened?" Jack's face fell down when I asked the question. "That's right. You were off somewhere doing God knows what while I suffered the consequences for your plan. You had my trust before but I believe you just lost it." I turned my back and started heading for the door. "Thank you all for taking care of me but I have to go. I don't want to be a burden to all of you."
The newsies begged me not to go. That's when I saw something different in them. They weren't like the boys that I saw in the refuge. When I looked at them they actually looked like people that wanted to help me. People that you can probably be a family with. And that girl. Her eyes pleaded with me to stay. "You're safer in here than out there. Snyder will be after you. He's after a lot of us. But we've evaded him for a long time and if you can't trust your brother anymore than trust me. Believe me I've been through a bad family too and no matter how hard I try I end up getting full blame for everything. Stay with us please."
"Elizabeth Kelly. But you can call me Eliza."I said. "I'm Scarlet. Don't worry we'll take good care of you here." That was how I came to the newsies. Was it fate? Or was it just a mere coincidence that a newsie noticed me going in the house? I'm 16 years old now living most of my years in the refuge have made me grow a thicker skin for the world and even for my brother. But over the years of being with the newsies made me want to change myself. I wanted to fit in. And even though I hated Jack I tried to be like him at times. But that only ended up in failure. I was only fooling myself. The only thing I knew for certain is that I would never be good enough for him.