This fic was inspired by a Ryan Dan's song - Tears Of An Angel. It is a really beautiful song so I suggest you should listen to it while reading this. Enjoy!
"Prince Loki, I truly regret to tell you that your mother - Queen Frigga - had passed away."
Those words still echo in in head. No matter how hard he try to deny, the truth stands still. His mother is dead. His mother - the only one left who still had faith and love in him - is now gone, leaving him here cold and alone forever. He will never be able to see her again, to see the sparkle in her eyes, to listen to her soft voice comfort him, and to feel her warm embrace... And he can never tell her how much he loves her, how much he misses her...
Tonight is her funeral. Despite being locked down here, he still feels the pain of the whole kingdom of their loss, his loss. How desperately he wants to be there with them right now, to see her for the last time and to say goodbye to his mother. But being an universal criminal has its price, it takes away his last chance to hold his mother's hand. He, her beloved son, cannot be with her at her funeral!
How pathetic!
At this moment, the more he misses her, the more he hates Odin and his punishment.
The young blonde prince ran to Allfather, left behind a knocked out brother - who now was groaning in pain and trying to stand up. He waved his wooden sword and said:
"Father! Father! Did you see that? Did you see my move? I won Loki! Again!" - Thor couldn't hide his excitement. He even tried to exclaim it louder so that Allfather couldn't not hear him.
"Yes I did. Well done, son!" - He smiled warmly at his older son, and together, they walked away, leaving Loki behind. They always did, so Loki could only blame himself on being so weak that everytime they fought, he was always the loser. Maybe that was the reason why Odin - his father - was so hard on him. He was disappointed. Loki could hear his father and brother exchange about fights, about war, and all of the nonsense violence - what, to be honest, Loki has no interest in. Sighing, he left for his chamber. He was at the edge of crying alone when he heard his name called.
"Loki? You there?"
"Yes mother!" - He quickly replied, unlocked his door. His mother, Queen Frigga, was always the one who understood him the most. She knew when he was sad and how to cheer him up. The door opened, and there she was, smiling softly at him. Loki felt like all of the sadness, the loneliness had covered him now got away. Frigga gave him a long warm embrace before she talked.
"I heard Thor and you fought again. Did you hurt?"
"No mother" - Came his reply - "I am good." - Of course being knocked down by a huge brother was nothing related to "good", but with his mother's care, Loki was not able to feel any pain anymore. But Figga couldn't be tricked. She looked at him carefully as she was searching for any serious bruises. Once having done, she told him solemnly:
"I must have a word with your brother. I don't approve fighting, even if it is good for your skills later. You are not like Thor. He can't treat you as his other warrior friends."
"Are you saying that I am weaker, mother?" - Loki said quietly, not looked at his mother's eyes. All of the sudden, loneliness washed over him. Now he disappointed his mother too... Loki knew that he was much weaker than Thor and other children at the same age. His hair was black too, while the other's were blonde. The whole kingdom might expect more from their prince. Strong, huge, brave,... and not as different as him...
"Physically, yes, I have to admit, you are not as strong as Thor." - Frigga sighed. Her younger son was always sensitive. He was aware of his differences from the other at such a young age, and was scared of it. The queen felt her heart was breaking as she watched her son suffered from distinction bravely. But everyone had a break point, and she must stop his pain before it was too late.
"I know it! I know it! I know everyone prefers Thor because he is strong, quick, brave and huge..." - Loki muttered angrily. No he wasn't supposed to say something like that about his brother, because he had no rights to. But his deepest fear has just been confirmed. He didn't belong to the palace.
"But he is neither patient nor careful as you are, Loki. He is not as wise as you, too." - She used her powerful voice to make him listen - "Bigger doesn't mean victory. You can win a battle but not a war just by your strength. You also need your wisdom, patience, and your perfect timing, which, apparently, you all have, son."
Loki looked at his mother doubtfully. Her words never meant lie, but yet they were so unbelievable. Frigga sighed. It was always much harder to convince Loki compared to Thor, and it was nearly impossible to prank him - which Thor and his friends has learnt by hearts. She prepared herself for his up coming question.
"But people don't talk about it, mother. They talk about strenght, about fights that they won, about wars that they would join. Why none has ever talked about wisdom and peace?" - He said, after a long moment lost in his own thought.
"Because it is easier to see and to judge." - Frigga explained - "The surface always reachs our eyes first. And it takes time, sometime really long, before we can truly understand the problem."
"Even though, I am still the black sheep in our family." - Loki turned away, muttered - " I am still so different." - He planned to stand up and leave, but a hand pulled him back. He fell into his mother arm.
"My fool little one, don't you realized that it is a gift? Don't think about your difference as a disadvantage, but a chance to prove the whole kingdom how special and unique you are. Then you will gain their respect as much as what your brother has. Do not doubt yourself or ou will fail before you can start. Make little steps and believe in your heart. When you finally do," - She looked at her son - "nothing is impossible." - She held his fist tightly, then let it go. Loki gasped. In his hand now there was a bird - a very beautiful one - chirping. It looked at both of them with curiosity in its brown eyes. When Loki reached it by his other hand, the bird flew away.
"How did you do that mother?" - He ran to the balcony to see where it flew away - "Was it real? Can you show me how to do it, mother?"
"Of course I can, Loki." - The queen chuckled - "But Loki, you must remember one thing. You must know that your journey is not going to be smooth. It would be hard, narrow, and sometimes you may want to give up. But don't, my dearest son, because I am always by your side. No matter what, you still have a family to count on, a family love you forever and forgive everything you would ever say or do. We - your father, your brother and I - would sacrify our lives for you. Would you do the same, Loki?"
She stared at his gorgeous eyes. They were so innocent, so pure and so grown up compared to one as young as him.
"I would, mother" - He said.
He remembered their their talk so well as if it had just happened yesterday. He remmember every detail, every word, and it hurts him so much to bare to recall the memory. She promised to be with him, but yet she has gone. The world turns against him but he still could against them too, as long as he knows his mother still loved him unconditionally. But everyone, like she once said, has their points. He has reached his. Without her love, he is nothing.
She loved him so much more than he can ever deserve, and what has he done for her so far? Loki regrets his stupid reactions now, every word, every thing he said that cause his mother in pain. He truly regrets them. Can he have another chance? Can he save what left of him, for her?
You are not my mother
How foolish he was! How could he let them be the last word they exchanged? How could he go back and tell her that those were just a lie, and that he has never stopped loving her, and that she was the only mother he has?
How!?
His cell explodes. His wrath is growing. If he had to kill himself for her to come back, he would do it without hesitation. He stormed around the cell, destroys everything. He wants to kill the bastard so bad. He wants to torture him because he had taken away the most important one to him. He would cut the bastard into pieces, burn them in the revenge fire... He would destroy that asshole and very thing he loves!
Loki kneels down, exhausted of his pain and sin. A tear comes from his eyes... tear of a fallen angel...
...You are not alone Loki. I might be gone now but there is still a family waiting for you to come back. You are, and will never be, a monster. You are my son, my prince, my king, and my proud...
...Come back...
If only her son could see her now, could feel her embrace, could hear her word...
"I'm coming back, mother." - He says quietly, and she knows he did.