It's in the way.
Disclaimer: Don't look at me!! If I owned them for real, you all would be reading the fifht book by now. J. K. Rowling owns all the characters and stuff, and so far she hasn't even dropped a hint.
A/N: It's not cleared up in the story, but if you want a time and a place, we'll say it's their fifth year and they're sitting at the common room, or some other place at Hogwarts. R & R
I used to believe that fancying a girl could very well be the ruin of a guy. I had pictured grown men moping around, sighing to the moon, fighting duels, getting on their knees and begging, and things alike; an assorted handful of images I'd gathered from having a quick look at those romantic novels my mother read and from seeing my brothers actually moping around for some girl.
After seeing that, I'd started to dread the day I'd fall for someone. Every time I saw a girl I would look at her and think: " could this creature be the one to make me loose all self-respect?" Needless to say , I'd panic. But last year, I came across Fleur Delacour, and... well, we all know how that went. But I'm blaming it all on her being part veela; it has to be, I mean, I barely knew her and I trust myself not to be so superficial or frivolous as to fall in love with a girl just for her looks (no matter what you might have heard around).Yeah, I'm willing to bet that was the reason I acted like a fool.
Anyway, now I find that I have to throw away all of my preconceived ideas, otherwise I wouldn't be able to explain what I'm feeling. I feel, to put it simply, great. I don't think I've felt so alive ever before. I feel healthy and full of life, like I could do anything. Actually, I've been feeling kind of energized lately, focussed and always up and ready for whatever comes up. And being best friends with Harry Potter means a lot of things come up.
Of course, all of this developed after I acknowledged that I was crazy about this girl. There was a lot of moping around and acting like a jerk while I was wallowing in denial and confusion. Maybe, the fact that she hangs around with me has something to do with this jolly state of mine. You see, Hermione is my other best friend, so, along with Harry, we are together all the time. Can you imagine how perfect it is that the girl I fancy so hard likes to be around me?
I have to admit that in more than one ocassion I've come too close to scare her away for good. During the four years we've known each other I've called her a number of things, and we've had tremendous rows that have drifted us apart for a while. More usual than not, the cause would be her being a righteous know-it-all and me being a lazy rule-breaker procrastinator.
But I would be lying if I said that those attributes of her that annoy me so much, aren´t also those I find the most astonishing. Her compulsive obsession about knowing everything has come in handy, saving saving both Harry's and mine ass more times than I can count. And the fact that she always stands up for doing the right thing, even if it's not the most popular thing to do, shows me a strength of character and resolution I don't think any other girl in Gryffindor possess. It's like that time in our fourth year, when she disapproved of the fake Moody turning Malfoy "The Git" into a ferret because he could've gotten hurt; I know I scolded her for worrying about such a thing, but secretly, I was admired at the way she could put the people involved aside and contemplate the actions separately.
Of course, two years ago, that didn't stop me from being exhilarated to see her loose all control and slap Malfoy's greasy face like there was no tomorrow. And the way in wich she throws all precaution to the wind and doesn't even stop to count how many rules she's breaking by helping Harry on one of his crusades...Hermione Granger on a mission is a force to be reckoned with. And a vision. I've always counted on her where unshakeable friendship and support are concerned. The vision part came later. I'm not the only guy around who's noticed how beautiful she is, but by now they've learned not to make any rude comments about it, at least, not in front of me.
In spite of our history together, I don't find myself wanting to raise an argument with her like I used to. Granted, she looked breathtaking while engaging in battle, and still does, but now there's something about watching her stomp away and pissed at me that I don't find comforting anymore. And do you know what I've noticed? She doesn't want to start a fight with me either. She doesn't scold me for swearing as much as she used to, nor she nags me about homework procrastination 24 hours a day. And when she does, she does it with a small smile on her face and caring eyes that totally paralise me, and I find myself unable to contradict her.
I think she knows she has this effect on me. And I also think I have a similar effect on her.
It's in the way she smiles and blushes whenever we are playing chess and I sincerely compliment her on a good move.
It's in the way her voice wavers when she tells me she doesn't want me to get into trouble for kicking Malfoy's ass whenever the slimy git insults her.
It's in the way her eyes sparkle playfully when I pass her a note in Proffesor's Binns class, even though moments before she was frowning at Harry and me for doing the same thing.
I'm not stupid nor blind. I've known for awhile now what it is what we're feeling.
There was a time last year when I justified my behaviour by saying that the problem with Krum was that he belonged to another school and that we were supposed to be competing against him. Looking back, I understand that deep inside I felt I was competing against him, and not for the triwizard tournament exactly.
But that was a time when there was no way I was going to even consider the remote possibility that I could feel this way about any girl (specially my friend), much less was I going to put names to that feeling. That doesn't mean that I've come up with a proper name now; I mean, I love her, she's one of my best friends and all, but being in love sounds like too strong a term. Maybe it's the wording that scares me (I'm just fifteen after all).
Even so, there's something here, it's taken up residence inside of me; It feels warm and alive. I can feel it thumping and soaring whenever she's around, whenever she talks to me, smiles at me, laughs with me. If she touches me it lights up a fire that spreads itself from that point and swallows the rest of my body. And you know what? I don't think it's going away. I don't want it to go away, even though sometimes it chokes me and tightens my insides. If anything, I think it's getting bigger, stronger, and I don't have any problem with that.
Wich is why I believe time has come for me to do something. I suspect some of my siblings know about it. I have a feeling my mother knows about it. Sometimes I've even caught Harry giving us encouraging looks (cheeky sod!). Hell! I even think Hagrid knows about it, too!. But above all, and most compelling, I have a dreadful and yet thrilling sensation that she knows. Sometimes I see her eyes looking at me like they're saying "I Know". And sometimes I have the blessed impression they might be saying " I feel the same way you do". So you can see, really, I can't ignore it anymore, don't want to.
I stand up, fiddle with my clothes unnecessarily in a somewhat reassuring manner, and head my way towards where she's sitting. She notices me and smiles at me. I can already feel the warmth inside. I look straight into her eyes as I approach. And this time, I'm dead certain what it is her eyes are saying, pretty much the same she can read in mine. It's a secret intimate message I can't really put into actual words , but I guess by now you can tell what I'm talking about, right?.
The end?
A/N: So, what do you think? It's my first story ever, I'd love to hear your opinion (don't bother with nasty comments, or I'll have to hex you ) Seriously, constructive criticism is well accepted.
Oh, and if you find any grammar or spelling mistakes, please point them out, I'm not used to writing in English. Thanks!!!!!