The Best Laid Plans…
By: Shimegami
Warnings: Angst, Shounen Ai/Yaoi
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
AN: Well, it's high time I wrote the Tatsumi follow-up to "It's The Little Things That Kill You". Yep. The Secretary of Death's thoughts on what's been happening.
The Best Laid Plans…
Watari is acting strange again. Not that he doesn't always act strange. It's just now more than normal.
I'm worried about him. I can't help it. He grows on you.
I sigh, and lean back in my desk chair, pinching the bridge of my nose. I feel a migraine coming on from overworking again. The fact that I'm worrying over my relationship, or rather lack of, with my fellow Shinigami is not helping.
How could I be so careless?
I let both of them slip through my hands.
Tsuzuki Asato…the fountain of endless genkiness to hide the inner pain. He gives new meaning to the term "still waters run deep". He's not as totally outrageous as Watari; his genkiness is more of a calm, sunny type instead of a continuous sugar rush. He's always serious; I said that to Kurosaki. Such a paradox, and my first mistake. It was a sort of two-time one. First, I made the mistake of falling in love with him. Then, I made the second part: I let him go. I was too scared to believe that there was an ounce of romantic affection in him, and so I let him go. Not my wisest choice.
Then along came Yutaka Watari.
The one with the mystery past and the embedded knowledge of a doctor. His file was classified; why I'm not sure. For some reason, he can't remember any of his past besides his name, birthdate, etc. The basic information. Other than that, it's a blank for him. It's the big mystery of the Meifu. He's the hyper uber-genki to Tsuzuki's calmer, more laid-back type. Admittedly, Tsuzuki does have his hyper moments, but Watari is always like that. I wonder sometimes if too many lab fumes have gotten to his brain. He, again, was a mistake. I made the mistake of liking him too, and, again, not acting on it. Now I feel for both of them, and yet, none will be mine. They found comfort in each other's arms, even if they're in the dark about their feelings.
I'm jealous, and yet, I know it's my fault.
I didn't act.
I didn't dare to play upon my feelings for either of them, and what luck, I've lost both of them to each other. Sometimes I wish I hadn't made the choice to become a Shinigami-sometimes I wish I had just gone to the afterlife and left the world's problems behind.
But that's selfish.
Even if I can't have their hearts, at least I can have their friendship. At least I can be around them and not be rejected. That is my reason for "living" now. Though I doubt if I attempted suicide that it would work. It's one of those little catches about a Shinigami-once one; you'll always be one. No way out of it. Of course, you could always go and ask the nearest high-class demon to kill you, but that's kind of honorless. Not to mention really embarrassing.
So I will continue to be Tatsumi Seiichirou. The "Secretary of Death". (Oh please. As if I didn't know what Watari and Tsuzuki call me.)
And I will ignore my more that friendship feelings, and continue being a friend. That is my plan.
After all, it's the best-laid plans that are the most often to go wrong, but have the best rewards when they succeed.
~Owari~
AN: Aww…I feel kinda sorry for 'Tsumi-chan. ;_; He's all alone, even Hisoka doesn't like him. Heh, maybe I can change that. ;P
By: Shimegami
Warnings: Angst, Shounen Ai/Yaoi
Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't sue.
AN: Well, it's high time I wrote the Tatsumi follow-up to "It's The Little Things That Kill You". Yep. The Secretary of Death's thoughts on what's been happening.
The Best Laid Plans…
Watari is acting strange again. Not that he doesn't always act strange. It's just now more than normal.
I'm worried about him. I can't help it. He grows on you.
I sigh, and lean back in my desk chair, pinching the bridge of my nose. I feel a migraine coming on from overworking again. The fact that I'm worrying over my relationship, or rather lack of, with my fellow Shinigami is not helping.
How could I be so careless?
I let both of them slip through my hands.
Tsuzuki Asato…the fountain of endless genkiness to hide the inner pain. He gives new meaning to the term "still waters run deep". He's not as totally outrageous as Watari; his genkiness is more of a calm, sunny type instead of a continuous sugar rush. He's always serious; I said that to Kurosaki. Such a paradox, and my first mistake. It was a sort of two-time one. First, I made the mistake of falling in love with him. Then, I made the second part: I let him go. I was too scared to believe that there was an ounce of romantic affection in him, and so I let him go. Not my wisest choice.
Then along came Yutaka Watari.
The one with the mystery past and the embedded knowledge of a doctor. His file was classified; why I'm not sure. For some reason, he can't remember any of his past besides his name, birthdate, etc. The basic information. Other than that, it's a blank for him. It's the big mystery of the Meifu. He's the hyper uber-genki to Tsuzuki's calmer, more laid-back type. Admittedly, Tsuzuki does have his hyper moments, but Watari is always like that. I wonder sometimes if too many lab fumes have gotten to his brain. He, again, was a mistake. I made the mistake of liking him too, and, again, not acting on it. Now I feel for both of them, and yet, none will be mine. They found comfort in each other's arms, even if they're in the dark about their feelings.
I'm jealous, and yet, I know it's my fault.
I didn't act.
I didn't dare to play upon my feelings for either of them, and what luck, I've lost both of them to each other. Sometimes I wish I hadn't made the choice to become a Shinigami-sometimes I wish I had just gone to the afterlife and left the world's problems behind.
But that's selfish.
Even if I can't have their hearts, at least I can have their friendship. At least I can be around them and not be rejected. That is my reason for "living" now. Though I doubt if I attempted suicide that it would work. It's one of those little catches about a Shinigami-once one; you'll always be one. No way out of it. Of course, you could always go and ask the nearest high-class demon to kill you, but that's kind of honorless. Not to mention really embarrassing.
So I will continue to be Tatsumi Seiichirou. The "Secretary of Death". (Oh please. As if I didn't know what Watari and Tsuzuki call me.)
And I will ignore my more that friendship feelings, and continue being a friend. That is my plan.
After all, it's the best-laid plans that are the most often to go wrong, but have the best rewards when they succeed.
~Owari~
AN: Aww…I feel kinda sorry for 'Tsumi-chan. ;_; He's all alone, even Hisoka doesn't like him. Heh, maybe I can change that. ;P