Fuck I can't... I can't even focus anymore. That stupid bastard. That fucking tomato whore, shit.
…...
no.
never mind.
I lied.
I couldn't hate him. I just fucking can't...
I just can't seem to get the Motherfucking memo across to him that I don't mean to hate him, just... UGH GODDAMMIT.
no... I don't even accidentally hate him..
dammit... I can't even get this straight in my own mind.
I'm such a little piece of shit you know that? I cant even clean with out knocking a fucking shelf of books down. And my drawings look like they've come out of an ass.
And I'm not nice.. and nothing like Feliciano .
I mean everyone fucking hates me. I mean...I guess I'm starting to know why.
I'm starting to hate my ass too. Feliciano was always amazing at everything. At least he had something to build a relationship on other than Grandpa's inheritance... and that's the only I have got going for me. Just
fuck. My tears are so stupid. Making me look like shit.
I mean I guess I've always looked like shit.
I mean why else would Feliciano always get fawned over, and me just pushed aside like something that crawled into a whole and never came out?
Huff...breathe Lovino... breathe... no.
fuck this.
Fuck everything
FUCK THE WORLD
no... I lied.
F-fuck... fuck me...
shit tears...dammit... stop already...
….well... I... well... um... shit... I...-choke- I ...dammit...
WHY CANT I FU-
no Lovino... stop... calm down... at least for your last moments... be clear...
be clean... speak nicely.. like you've always wanted... but were too scared too... were afraid too... I just... can't anymore.. he doesn't care. The "one" doesn't even think of me in any way special. He's always all over my fratello... just... FUCK...lovino. Stop. Just your getting to much to handle for yourself. Its bad enough your worthless to everyone else... but now your just plain annoying.
god dammit.
I hate myself.
All I do is complain
and im too scared to do anything productive... because... im just going to get laughed at and get judged anyway... so if I just act like im not trying... and I dont like anyone then... no one will say I messed up because you cant fail if you dont try right?
Im so lame... and no one knows it
except myself
and I hate it
I hate mysel- OUCH.
I deserved i- OWOWOWOW...SHIT...
I guess this is payment for my worthless- FUCK THIS HURTS...
oh look. Even my blood is
pathetic...
-end of chapter one.-