I wrote this a while ago, but just my luck, I lost it. Anyway, found it again, and thought I'd post it up places. I have an idea of who the other man is, but I'd be interested in hearing your takes on it.
He had promised himself several times that he would never go back. He always failed, always landed up at that door, ready for anything. He simply had too many sins to atone for.
The sound of his fist hitting the door reverberated through his ears, the same as the bells had when he was on his knees to pray in Seminary. He couldn't help analysing the fact that he was comparing this activity to praying, and he wondered how he had ever fallen this far.
"Robert, what are you doing here again? We had a deal."
He sighed. "I know, and I'm sorry. I just have too much for repent for."
The other man looked at him, a look of disappointment in his eyes. "You know that I don't want to do this to you, but I'm not seeing any other way out. Get in here."
Chase walked inside, closed the door behind him, and stood perfectly still, waiting for a response.
"Robert, come here. I'm really not going to tell you again."
Bowing his head, Chase stepped closer to the other man. The look in his eyes was one of complete hopelessness. He knew that he didn't look good, and couldn't bring himself to care. When he was kissed, he responded eagerly, and when he was pushed towards the bedroom, he moved without hesitation.
They moved frantically, trying to undress each other as fast as they could, not so much in a rush to get things moving, but to get things finished. As soon as Chase walked out that door, life could return to normal.
Chase was pushed down onto the bed, and he couldn't hold back a sigh when his wrists were lifted above his head, and fastened to the headboard. Here was his penance, this was his way of making amends.
The routine went just as it always did, even down to the noises. This was no pleasure, no fun was being had. Over too fast, as it always seemed. Chase rubbed at his wrists as he was pulled up into a sitting position.
They didn't speak to each other as they got dressed, and before Chase turned to leave, he spun around and they kissed. All the emotion that had been hiding revealed itself into that single kiss, and it, too, was over quickly. "Robert, please don't come back. I can't take this – you can't take this."
"I won't. I promise."
They both knew it was a lie. There would always be a next time.
Please, oh please, review loves. I'm in the middle of exam week, and right now, any bit of validation would be a joy. P