a/n: Hi guys! I haven't posted anything in a while, I know, so I wanted to post this story. I've sort of had it in the back of my mind, since I recently went to a Matchbox 20 concert and heard them play their song: Her Diamonds. It's an awesome song and you all should check it out!
Just a warning, in this story, there is a character death, so brace yourselves. If you don't like the idea of maybe one of your favorite characters dying, I'd recommend not reading this story. But if you like the idea of your heart feeling like its being ripped to shreds, as I so often do, read on, please. :)
I will be posting a new chapter of my story "once upon a time" soon, so stayed tuned for that. also, I'm working on a new project with a whole group of super talented authors, called the Henry's book project. Check out the tumblr: thehenrysbookproject
A little time line for this story- this takes place after Regina and Emma stop storybooke from being destroyed, but there was no neverland adventure. Instead, Emma and Regina started dating! Wouldn't that have been a better way for season two to end, and season three to start?!
Please read, review and enjoy! :)
-Katelyn
'I can't take no more.' Her tears like diamonds on the floor. Her diamonds bring me down cause I can't help her. ~Her Diamonds by Rob Thomas
"How long?" Emma whispered, unable to bring her voice to its regular brightness, in fear that it would break and then the tears that she had tried so hard to hold back would fall.
"Emma," Regina began, shaking her head. She reached out to take hold of the blonde's shaking trembling hands in her own, but Emma jerked away.
"How. Long?" Emma asked again firmly, wiping the lone tear that slid down her cheek. She knew she shouldn't be angry with the woman in front of her- this wasn't her fault, but she couldn't help it. Seeing the normally strong brunette lying on the bed looking small and vulnerable angered her.
Regina closed her eyes, sighing before she answered. "I felt the affects of the curse immediately after absorbing it, but I thought it would wear off after I rested and was able to regain my strength," Regina explained.
"But it didn't," Emma remarked, her eyes filling with tears again at the sight of her girlfriend lying in their bed in a constant, endless pain.
"No, I suppose it didn't," Regina whispered, closing her eyes as a swell of pain rushed through her. She held her breath, waiting for it to pass.
"Regina?" Emma asked fearfully, rushing closer to the brunette, when she noticed Regina's eyes were closed and that she wasn't breathing.
"I'm fine, dear," Regina gasped after a few moments. Her chest heaved up and down as her heart slowed down to a normal rate.
"No you're not," Emma murmured, taking hold of Regina's hands, kissing her knuckles. "What can I do? How can I help you?" Emma pleaded.
"I'm not sure that there is much that can I help me right now," Regina replied sadly.
"No, God no. There has to be something. I'll take you to Doctor Whale first thing in the morning. He'll tell us how to help you," Emma exclaimed, excitedly. Regina frowned at the false hope that Emma was giving herself. She knew there was nothing to be done for herself that could save her, and she hated that Emma refused to believe it.
"Of course, dear. Thank you," Regina nodded, going along with Emma's plans. She didn't have the heart to crush Emma's hope.
"But for now, what can I do to help you?" Emma begged, kneeling close to Regina, "Can I get you anything? Food, water, blankets?" Emma rattled off. Regina knew Emma was going to make herself sick if she continued worrying about Regina in this manner. And while Regina appreciated that Emma was trying to help her, but she knew it was her attempts were futile. All Regina wanted was to spend what time she had left with Emma and her son.
"For now, will you just lie with me…and hold me?" Regina asked feebly. Emma was shocked by the vulnerability in Regina's voice, but she didn't question the smaller woman lying before her.
"Of course. Always," Emma nodded quickly. She stepped out of her skin tight jeans, tossing them into a hamper, before climbing into the queen sized bed in Regina's room that they had been sharing for almost three months.
Emma hesitantly wrapped her arms around Regina's waste as the brunette nestled into the blonde's hold, afraid to hurt her.
"I love you, Regina. We're going to fix this," Emma murmured into Regina's ear, kissing her cheek gently.
"I love you, too, Emma. So much," Regina whispered, turning gingerly to give Emma a kiss on her lips. It was loving, but careful.
"Emma," Regina said sadly, "you're not going to hurt me if you kiss me, you know…"
"I'm sorry," Emma apologized sheepishly. She wrapped her hands around Regina's neck, lacing her fingers together, and kissed Regina's full red lips, reveling in the taste of the other woman's tongue in her mouth. After a few moments they broke apart.
"Much better," Regina teased with a small smile. Emma half heartedly smiled back.
"Glad to hear it," Emma replied enthusiastically, hoping her eager faith would be enough to help Regina get better. Emma couldn't bear to think of her life without Regina in it. There had to be something to do to help the beautiful woman lying in her arms.
.oOo.
It had been a particularly bad day for Regina. She hadn't got out of bed, hadn't read any of her book, hadn't watched any TV, hadn't eaten much, and hadn't spoken to Emma or Henry all day. Regina felt terrible for ignoring her girlfriend and son, especially because they were being so kind and they were caring for her so much, but the pain was unbearable. She couldn't let Henry see her this weak, and she couldn't let Emma know just how bad the curse had gotten.
"Good night, Henry. Love you, kid," Emma said with a smile, kissing Henry's forehead. Even as his twelfth birthday neared, Henry still loved to have Emma or Regina tuck him into bed.
"Love you, too, Emma," Henry said quietly as he yawned. Emma turned to leave, but as she reached the door, his tiny voice stopped her.
"Emma?" He whispered so quietly, Emma wasn't sure if he had even spoken. She turned to see Henry sitting up with tears brimming in his eyes.
"Hey, hey, hey. What's wrong, kid?" Emma asked, rushing back to his bed. She sat down next to him and took him into her arms as he sobbed.
"Henry, what's the matter?" Emma tried again when Henry's tears still had not ceased.
"Is she going to die?" Henry whispered.
"Oh Henry," Emma murmured, kissing the crown of his head. "I don't know, buddy….but I'm trying so hard to make sure that it doesn't happen," Emma said firmly. "I love her just as much as you do, and if I can help it, I will make sure she's here for as long as possible."
"She can't die," Henry whispered again. "Everything just got better. They can't get worse again," he murmured, tears still streaming down his face.
"I know, Henry. I know," Emma soothed, holding him tightly until his crying stopped. She unwrapped his arms from around her waist to see that he fallen asleep.
"Good night, kid," Emma whispered as she got up and went to the bedroom. When she opened the door, she saw Regina sitting up in bed, staring out the window at the moon.
"'Gina," Emma murmured talking a few steps forward, "You okay, babe?"
"Oh Emma," Regina sighed, still staring at the moon. "Seems I just can't win for losing," she said giving a half hearted laugh.
"Babe," Emma sighed, moving to her girlfriend's side of the bed to hold her.
"It's okay, Emma," Regina said, accepting the hug, but then letting go. "I'm fine alone for now. I'm just going to go to sleep. Take a shower, relax, you've been going all day. I'll be fine," Regina promised, pushing Emma away.
"I really don't mind-" Emma began, but Regina cut her off.
"No, Emma. It's fine," Regina said again, shaking her head. Reluctantly, Emma stood and exited the bedroom to make her way to kitchen for some dinner.
Regina laid back down in the bed, and curled into a pillow, closing her eyes, but she found that sleep did not mix well with the pain she was in. This was not the first night that the pain prevented sleeping from coming, and it would not be the last for sure.
.oOo.
Emma put a plate of mac n cheese in the microwave and sat at a barstool at the kitchen counter, when her phone rang.
"Sheriff Swan," Emma answered professionally, in case it was someone calling who needed her help.
"Emma, it's mom," Snow said on the other line. She frowned at the sound of her daughter's voice. It sounded like Emma, but the regular enthusiasm was missing, and was replaced with the sound of exhaustion.
"Hi…how are you?" Emma asked, her lips curving upwards slightly at the sound of her mother's caring voice. It was a voice she had missed out on all her life, and every time she heard it now, even if it was a scolding, still made her smile.
"Well, from the sounds of it, better than you're doing…how is she, honey?" Snow asked softly, knowing how hard Regina's sickness was on Emma.
"She's…okay. We take it one day at a time," Emma answered, sighing. This was the typical conversation that she had with her parents, and it was the same answer she gave every time. That was all she could say without bursting into tears.
"And Henry?" Snow inquired of her young grandson.
"He's so strong. And I know all he wants to do his hold Regina close and cry, but he wants to stay strong for her and for me," Emma admitted, exhaustion lacing her voice.
"I know it's hard Emma, but you just have to keep reminding him he doesn't have to be a martyr, and that sometimes it's okay to cry in your mother's arms when you're afraid," Snow explained, and Emma wondered if there was a double meaning to her words.
"It's just so frustrating. She lies there in so much pain and I can't do anything to help her. And I just hold her and feel so helpless because I don't know what else to do," Emma explained sighing.
.oOo.
Regina could hear Emma's voice, and assumed she was talking on the phone. Though she couldn't make out what she was saying, she could figure it was another pitying member of the town, asking how she was feeling, and how the family was holding up.
It made Regina feel awful when people asked those questions, because even though they were meant to be thoughtful and polite, it just made Regina feel like a burden. She didn't want to be the cause of Emma's pain and exhaustion, and she hated the pressure her sickness put on Henry.
Regina sat up and leaned her sore back against the headboard of the bed she and Emma shared. She pulled her legs close to her chest, resting her head on her curled up knees, and she stared out the window.
The brightness of the moon was almost blinding to her, which was surprising due to the fact that all of her senses had seemed to dull as her pain levels increased. It seemed that her body couldn't handle absorbing all that she saw, tasted, smelled and heard, but it allowed her to feel the pain at its full capacity.
Regina turned away from the moon and focused on the dark abyss of night sky in front of her. As her eyes bore into the inky blackness of the night, she felt the surroundings in her peripheral vision grow dark as well, her focus only on one dark spot in the sky. She chuckled to herself at the contrast and ironic similarities between the blinding brightness of the moon and the blinding darkness of the sky. It reminded her of the curse that she had absorbed, something of her own creation that was now killing her. Had she not absorbed it, she would have lost Emma, but because she had, Emma was losing her. There was no winning in this situation.
After almost fifteen minutes of staring in silence, Regina gingerly lowered herself back into the bed and rolled over onto her side, away from Emma's half of the bed. She realized Emma was not coming up any time soon. She didn't blame Emma though; her girlfriend needed to relax as well, and if having a bottle of beer and talking to her mom helped, then who was Regina to stop her? But it didn't mean that Regina didn't miss the warmth of the blonde's body against her own. She pulled the covers tightly over herself and closed her eyes, hoping to find sleep even with the blonde's absence. Little did she know that Emma was doing exactly the opposite of relaxing.
.oOo.
"Yeah love you too….bye," Emma said, sighing. She hung up her phone and got up to throw away her empty beer bottle. She looked to the fridge for another one, but decided against. Instead she chose to head to bed and be with Regina. She could have a beer any time, but she wasn't sure how much longer she could have Regina.
"Gina?" Emma asked opening the door to their bedroom. The older woman was lying on her side, facing away from the door. Her breathing was even, and she seemed to be asleep. Emma smiled at the sight of her girlfriend peacefully sleeping. It had been amazing how quickly her life had changed. Just two years ago she was living alone in her cold Boston apartment, and now just a few months ago, she and Regina had stopped a curse from destroying everyone in town, and leaving their son an orphan. It was at that moment, when Emma's magic had combined with Regina's, that they realized how truly made for each other they were. That night, when Henry was safely tucked in bad, Greg and Tamara locked away, Emma and Regina shared their first kiss, and that was the truest magic either of them had ever experienced.
"Henry's in bed," Emma said quietly, coming down the stairs of Regina's mansion. Regina had waited in the foyer while Emma had carried a fast asleep Henry up to his bed.
"Thank you," Regina murmured, giving a soft smile to Emma.
"Oh it's no problem. He's not as heavy as he looks," Emma joked awkwardly, inwardly kicking herself for being an idiot.
"No I wasn't talking about tucking Henry in," Regina said with a small chuckle at Emma's inability to pick up on the growing feelings between the two women.
"Oh…." was Emma's response. "Then what for?"
"For helping me today. For coming back for me. For not letting me die…." Regina explained with a shrug.
"What you said today…it made me realize…I didn't want you to die as Regina," Emma's said, furrowing her brows as she thought of Regina's words in the mine earlier that afternoon.
"So I'm still the Evil Queen to you then?" Regina asked sadly, because she had been hoping for so long now, that Emma would realize that she wasn't evil.
"No Regina….of course not. I didn't want you to die as Regina because I wanted you to be able to live as Regina. I wasn't going to leave you down there. I would never leave you," Emma said shaking her head firmly.
"Emma," Regina began, feeling so safe from Emma's words, but at the same time, so very lonely, knowing that she had never had anyone there for her the way Emma claimed to be.
"No, Regina. Do you hear me? Do you understand what I'm saying?" Emma asked, making sure Regina truly did understand that she would be there for her always.
"I…yes. I suppose so," Regina said with a gentle shrug of her shoulders.
"Then you'll understand this," Emma whispered so quietly, she almost couldn't hear herself. She leaned in and placed the softest kiss on Regina's lips, not wanting to push to much too fast, in case Regina did not feel the same way about Emma as Emma did about her.
Regina's eyes fluttered at the feeling of Emma's lips on hers, and she shivered, sad when Emma's lips were no longer there.
"Emma," Regina began again, though she had nothing to say.
"Okay?" Emma asked.
"Yes," Regina nodded, more affirmatively that time.
"Good," Emma said with a bigger smile. She cupped Regina's cheeks with her hands, and pulled her close, kissing her again.
When they broke apart for the second time, both she and Regina were out of breath, both grinning like idiots.
"Would you like to stay here tonight, Ms. Swan?" Regina offered, carefully. "So you could be near Henry?" She added.
"I would very much….so I could be near both of you."
Emma took off her jeans and tank top, throwing them into a hamper in the corner of their room. After removing her bra, she found a large tee shirt to wear as a night shirt. Once dressed, she nestled her way into the blankets and wrapped her arms around Regina's waist, holding her carefully, but protectively.
"I love you, Regina," Emma whispered, kissing the top of Regina's head, thinking she was asleep.
Regina smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. She silently told Emma the same, wondering how Emma would get by without her. Regina knew full well that Emma was perfectly capable of surviving independently on her own- she had done that all her life. But Regina had become Emma's sounding board, for all things from problems at work to problems with her past. Regina had been there for Emma, just as Emma had been there for her. Without Regina, who would Emma turn to? Where would she go when memories from her past came back to haunt her? Or when she just needed to be held so that she could cry safely in someone's arms? What would happen to Emma then?
.oOo.
Daytime was just as hard as the night for both Regina and Emma. Emma would go to the sheriff's station, and would spend her day worrying about Regina, contemplating why things ended up the way they did, and counting down the minutes till she could go home. Her days were uneventful work wise, to say the least. Her most exciting arrest of the day was throwing Leroy's ass in jail for 24 hours to let him sober up, even though it was only 11:30 in the morning, and she made this arrest almost daily.
Regina's day was similar. Uneventful, and slow. She'd watch Henry get on the school bus in the morning from her bedroom window, and then she would spend the rest of her day trying to do different things. She would try to read or watch TV, but she would end up getting a headache or dozing off. She would try to sit outside, but she would either be freezing or over heating. She would try to cook, but she would become exhausted simply from walking from her bedroom to the kitchen. There was literally nothing she could do.
When Henry got home, he would take a snack up for both her and himself, and they would do his homework together. That would usually take her up to when Emma got home.
Today things were different though, because Emma had a meeting that would go until late in the evening, and Henry, reluctantly, would be staying over at a friend's house.
"I don't want you spending all your time here, Henry," Regina had told him the previous afternoon.
"I don't," Henry replied, defiantly.
"Oh? And where do you go if you're not here?" Regina asked, and added, "School does not count," as Henry opened his mouth. He closed it when he heard her restriction.
"See. Spend some time with your friends. You can't spend all you're time worrying about me."
"But I am worried, Mom!" Henry's eyes welled up with tears.
"I'm okay, Henry. I'm okay for now," Regina promised. "There's nothing to be worried about."
"Sure there is. I'm worried that you won't be okay if you're alone, and Emma's not home. What if you need something or need help? I'm worried that Emma will wear herself out if no one is helping her," Henry listed, starting to get worked up. Regina watched as tears poured out of his eyes. "And oh God, am I worried that I'll leave and when I come home you won't be here!" Henry cried out, sobbing now.
"Oh my sweet baby," Regina murmured sadly. She took Henry in her arms and held him, rocking back and forth as she did when he would cry as a newborn. "I'm not going anywhere. Not right now," Regina said shaking her head firmly. "It's not fair that you have to be worried about everything, and I'm sorry. Go and have a fun night free of worry with your friends. You're a child and you have a right to some stress free fun," Regina told him.
"But mom-" Henry began to protest.
"Henry Daniel," Regina said pursing her lips, and though she was teasing him with the scolding, she did want him to go out.
"Ok…" He finally agreed reluctantly, "I'll call Michael."
"Thank you. I love you," Regina said kissing his forehead.
"Love you too, Mom," he replied and after giving her another strong hug, he went off to call his friend.
So that's how Regina ended up alone all day. She sat in her bed for most of the day, just staring into the distance, hoping and praying that the pain would stop, or at least that she would be able to mercifully fall into a deep, uninterrupted sleep. Sleep would not come however, and the pain would not go. But she continued to stare, because there was truly nothing else to do.
.oOo.
"Ruby," Emma said into her phone as she put her jacket on, followed by her scarf.
"Hey, Emma. What's up?" Ruby asked cheerily.
"Can you come by the station and act as deputy for a few hours? I'm going to head home early…I have to stop and see Gold before I go home, and I want to catch him before he leaves his shop," Emma explained.
"Yeah of course, I'll be right over," Ruby agreed, but then added, before Emma could hang up, "What do you need to see Gold for?"
"You know…stuff," Emma lied.
"No. Actually I don't know. What sorts of stuff?" Ruby asked, pushing her friend to reveal her intentions of visiting the man formerly known as the Dark One.
"He has a lot of knowledge about magic….and I just have a few questions is all," Emma answered vaguely.
"Fine. I won't pry any more. Be careful Emma. All magic-" Ruby began to lecture.
"I know. I know. Comes with a price. Thanks, Rubes," Emma said quickly before hanging up. She grabbed her keys from her desk and headed for Gold's shop.
.oOo.
"Emma!" Belle, Gold's girlfriend, greeted with a smile, as Emma burst open the door to the shop. "How are you? How's Regina and Henry?"
"Hi Belle. They're uhm, they're fine. Is Gold around?" Emma asked, trying her best not to sound impatient or rude.
"I think he's in the back," Belle said, running her fingers through her chestnut hair. "Let me go get him for you," she offered kindly.
"That would be great, thank you….and if you wouldn't mind telling him it was urgent?" Emma requested.
"Of course. One moment," Belle promised and slipped away behind a curtain into the back of the shop to retrieve Gold.
Emma looked around the shop, eyeing some odd items, such as a badly chipped cup, a raggedy old cloak and a beautifully embellished cane. It was an odd collection of things in this shop, but everything in their had a meaning and a purpose.
"Ms. Swan." Emma's thoughts were interrupted by the impish voice of Gold.
"I need to ask you something," Emma told him quickly.
"Ask away. Not sure if I can tell you an answer, but I can try, dearie," He said with a shrug.
"Why did the curse only affect her?" Emma exclaimed suddenly. "I absorbed it too? Why her? Why not me too?" She asked angrily.
"Ah. I've been expecting you to ask this for quite a while now, dearie," Gold said, turning around to face her, a twinkle in his eye.
"Well here I am asking. So tell me," Emma growled angrily, knocking several trinkets off of the table, ignoring them as they shattered to the ground. "I don't have time for your games, Gold."
"You never do, Ms. Swan…." He said with a chuckle, pursing his lips at the sight of the broken glass. "But you see, even I do not know the answer to that question. I can only speculate. Sorry," He added, not sounding sorry at all.
"Give it your best guess," Emma commanded threateningly.
"Your magic is light, hers is dark. She absorbed more of the curse than you did. You're the Savior, she's the Queen. Or more simply, you're good, she is evil," Gold explained.
"She's not evil," Emma grit out.
"You completely missed the point, dearie. My goal was not to offend our dear Mayor…or her true love. I was merely trying to point out the differences between you both, to show you the possibilities of why she is dying and you are not."
"There's got to be something you can do. Or that I can do. Tell me how to help her. Please." Emma was no longer tough and threatening, rather, she was begging, broken.
"Unfortunately I do not know of an antidote or a spell that can fix this. But I'll tell you what- you get out of my shop, go home to Regina and spend some time with her. Who knows how much longer you'll have to do that," He began, smirking as Emma grew angry again, "And I'll peruse my spell books and see what I can find."
"At what price?" Emma spat out.
"No price. You can just stop breaking my merchandise," Gold said, motioning to the shards of glass littering the floor.
"Thank you," Emma said graciously, still eyeing Gold suspiciously. He nodded and she made her way towards the door.
"Of course, there may not be a way to save her. This could just be punishment, for all the pain she's caused these people," Gold added, clicking his tongue against his teeth. That caused Emma to snap. She rushed forward towards Gold, unexpectedly, and shoved him against the wall, her forearm pinning up by his neck.
"She does not need to be punished. Her fiancé was killed, she was forced to marry a cruel man she didn't love, you corrupted her and made her into something she is not, and then she spent 28 years alone. If that isn't punishment enough, I don't know what is," Emma spat out in fury. She made as if to release him, but pushed him harder against the wall. He grimaced.
"And by the way, the woman that did those terrible things all those years ago…that's not her. That is not the Regina that I know. That is the mother of my son, and the woman that I love, who is right now lying at home in bed dying. So you will find a way to help her. Or so help me God, I will end you." Emma shoved him away and with that exited the shop, slamming the door behind her in rage.
"Rumple!" Belle cried out as she entered the shop, seeing him leaning against the counter, with glass shattered around him.
"Not to worry, love. It was my mistake. Ms. Swan had every right to be angry with me," Gold assured his girlfriend. He took her hand.
"Come now, we'll clean that mess up later. Let's eat some lunch…we have a lot of work to do if we're going to save our dear Mayor Mills."
.oOo.
"Regina I'm ho-" Emma began as she entered their bedroom, but stopped when she saw Regina staring out into the distance, facing the window. Emma knew how easy it would be to break Regina's concentration, but it didn't feel right. Emma moved to exit the room, but Regina's soft voice stopped her.
"Don't go," she requested quietly, "Come sit with me." Emma nodded in compliance, not saying a word, and made her way to sit on the bed next to the brunette. She gingerly sat, as to not disturb Regina, and was surprised when Regina's hands found their way to Emma's slim waist. She wrapped her arms around Emma, and rested her head on the blonde's shoulder. Emma kissed her forehead sweetly.
"How was your day?" Regina asked, breaking the silence.
"Good…yeah, it was alright. How was yours?" Emma asked, kicking herself for the loaded question. "I'm sorry, that was a bad question, wasn't it?"
"It's okay, Emma," Regina said chuckling. "My day was fine. Read a few pages of my book, watched a generic crime drama for a few minutes, and slept a lot." Emma kissed her again.
"Sounds like a pretty solid day," Emma teased. She then noted the silence of the house. "Where's Henry?"
"Oh, he's sleeping over Michael's house. Michael's father was going to take them hiking," Regina explained.
"He asked to go out?" Emma asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Well, more along the lines of I asked him to go with Michael…but close enough," Regina explained with a shrug.
"So we have the night to ourselves," Emma replied seductively. with a grin and a twinkle in her eyes.
"That we do," Regina said with a husky laugh in Emma's ear. They moved closer in silence before Emma cried out in joy.
"We can watch a grown up movie!" Emma exclaimed. "I'm so sick of movies that are Rated PG!"
Regina rolled her eyes. "You can pick the movie," she said with a small smile.
"Do you want to watch in the living room?" Emma asked grinning.
"Oh Emma," Regina began, sadly, "I don't know if I can make it down the stairs," she explained, embarrassed.
"Hey, hey it's okay. I'll carry you," Emma said, kissing Regina's cheek.
"You'll do what?" Regina asked surprised. Emma rolled her eyes, before standing. She scooped Regina up bridal style.
"To the living room!" Emma exclaimed, and carried Regina carefully down the stairs, placing her gently on their large sofa.
"I haven't been downstairs in so long," Regina said smiling at the warmth and coziness of her home that she had missed.
"I would have been more than happy to have carried you down here before now, you know," Emma reminded her as she made grabbed the remote off the coffee table, and snuggled back onto the couch next to Regina.
"I know….thank you," Regina whispered, kissing Emma's lips. She curled up into Emma's arms and rested her head on the blonde's shoulder as Emma put on the movie.
And for those two hours, they held each other close, laughing at a ridiculous movie, just like they used to, and they were able to pretend that nothing was wrong, and that they were going to be together forever.
.oOo.
"Emma," Regina said, as the two lay in bed, late one night. They both lay staring at the ceiling, hands clasped tightly. They both knew that the inevitable was coming soon, but they had tried to deny it.
"Please don't," Emma whispered back, begging. Tears were already rushing to her eyes, and Regina hadn't spoken anything but her name.
"Emma we have to talk about this," Regina said firmly, though her voice was protesting. Her strength was dwindling, as it had been for the past week. Regina knew she was dying, and she needed Emma and Henry to accept it, too.
"Regina, please stop," Emma pleaded, her voice barely audible. She began to kiss Regina in an effort to change the subject but Regina, mustering up all her strength, stopped her, and sat up.
"Babe, what are you-" Emma began, but Regina stopped her.
"Emma, I'm dying. I need you to prepare Henry for that," Regina said bluntly, pragmatic as usual.
"Jesus, fuck. Regina, you're not…it's going to be fine," Emma protested. She refused to stop fighting. "We'll go see Whale again in the morning….then I'll go back to Gold. He's got to have something by now," Emma continued.
"Emma stop it!" Regina cried out, chest heaving as she tried to even out her breathing. Emma's eyes widened in shock as Regina cried out at her. "There's nothing more we can do it and you know that!"
"Regina, I'm sorry-" Emma began.
"Don't be sorry, this isn't your fault. This is just something that happened and now we're going to get through it. You will both get through it. But Henry can't do it alone, and he certainly won't be able to get through this if you can't. Okay, so I need you to help him. I need you to tell him that it's going to be okay, even after I'm gone. I need you to let him know that I always loved him, and I always will, even when I'm not with him. And that I'll always be with him, watching over him wherever he goes. Most importantly, I need him to know that he has other people in his life that will be there for him, and that he doesn't always have to be strong, because he has nothing to prove," Regina explained, biting her lip at the end to keep from sobbing.
Emma knew that while Regina's instructions were for her to give to Henry, that the older women had meant them for her, as well. Regina was not only helping Emma prepare Henry, but she herself was preparing Emma for her death.
"I…I can't…you have-" Emma stuttered, but she couldn't finish her thoughts because she was crying too hard to get any words out.
"Shh….you have to Emma," Regina whispered, and they two women held each other and cried in each other's arms. Emma held the older woman, who seemed so much smaller than ever before, fearing that if she did not hold her tightly enough, she would just slip away.
"Mom…Emma," A tiny voice whispered from the threshold of their bedroom door.
"Oh, hey kid," Emma sniffled, wiping the tears away.
"Are you guys okay? I heard you crying…" Henry whispered sheepishly.
"Yeah, yeah, we're okay, kid," Emma said, her voice more clear this time.
"I….I know I'm not a little kid any more, but would it be okay….if maybe…if I stayed in here tonight?" Henry asked, looking down at his toes in embarrassment.
"Sweetheart, you never have to be embarrassed to ask us anything," Regina murmured soothingly.
"C'mere, kid," Emma said, sliding over so that there was a space for Henry between the two women.
"I love you guys," Henry said quietly, once he was securely tucked in between the two women.
"We love you, too, Henry," Regina told him, kissing his forehead, smiling as Emma did the same. Henry curled into Regina's arms and fell fast asleep, feeling safe with both his mothers next to him.
And in that moment, they felt like a family….like the happy family they were supposed to be. It didn't feel like there were any forces driving them apart, but that they were being unified.
.oOo.
"Emma," Regina croaked out, late one afternoon. Emma had just finished making Henry his lunch, and she was bringing Regina's up to her.
"Hey, babe," Emma said with a tight lipped smile that just didn't make it all the way up. The wear and tear that was Regina's sickness, was not only evident in Emma emotionally, but it had physically taken a toll on her as well. Her hair was dull, missing its natural glow, as did her skin, and her eyes were just a little more weary around the edges, like someone who didn't get much sleep.
"I uh, I made you some soup. Because you know it's one of those cold sorts of days, where soup seems like the right thing to have. It's tomato, which I know is your favorite, and I brought up some orange juice too, because you have to keep hydrated when you're sick. Or at least that's what everyone says…not that I know much about stuff like that. But Mary Margaret tells me that and she's awfully maternal I guess…and you know-" Emma babbled on as she set the bowl down on the bedside table next to Regina. Regina weakly held up a limp hand, and Emma knew to shut up.
"Emma, I think…" Regina began, but stopped, know that Emma knew exactly what was happening.
"No. No, no stop it. I'll just call Gold, and he'll give you something that will make you feel just a little better. Just…just hold on," Emma began, but Regina put her fragile hand on top of Emma's.
"Shh…Just…go get Henry," Regina asked quietly.
"I will but Regina you can't be…you're not dying. Not now. You're fighting. You're a fighter. And that's what fighters do….they fight. Obviously, that's beside the point, but this isn't you…You can't be settling," Emma began.
"Emma….please," Regina commanded, and Emma quickly scurried out of the room to call for Henry, who heard her cry from outside the house and came running.
"I….I just don't understand. This doesn't make sense. Why didn't I get sick too? I absorbed that god damn curse too. I should be just as sick as you are. It should be me who's dying right now! Not you! You were supposed to have your happy ending…your second chance!" Emma shouted in a sudden surge of rage, as the realization of what was happening settled in.
"I did, Emma. I did get my happy ending, my second chance….I got you," Regina whispered slowly, speaking each word deliberately.
"No," Emma croaked out, "No that's the type of thing people say in movies…when it's…when it's over," Emma whispered, her eyes filling with tears.
"That's because it is dear…it is over," Regina whispered.
"Mom?" Henry asked, bursting through the door.
"Hi, sweet heart," Regina murmured.
"Oh my god….Emma….what's going on?" Henry asked wide eyed, as he saw the tears in the blonde's eyes, and his brunette mother a mirror image.
"Come here, baby," Regina asked quietly. Emma moved her self so that Henry could slide in front of her to the foot of his mother's bed.
"I love you Henry," Regina whispered, kissing his head.
"I love you, too, mom," he said, his lower lip trembling as he tried to fight the tears.
"You don't have to put on a brave face Henry. Not when it's just me and Emma," she told him, taking his hand and Emma's, and holding them both. Tears rolled down Henry's cheeks.
"I don't want you to die, mommy," Henry whispered, his voice sounding small, as it did when he was just a baby.
"I'm so sorry," Regina whispered.
"No, no you don't have to be sorry," Emma told her, shaking her head. She kissed Regina's forehead. "By the way…you were my happy ending too."
"I love you," Regina whispered to Emma, and her eyes fluttered closed, as a sparking purple mist rose from her body, swirling around both Emma and Henry, and then sprinkled down gently on them and on the contents of the room.
When the pair looked back to Regina, they looked on in horror at the peacefully still body of the brunette.
Emma immediately stood, grabbing on to the brunette's face, and kissed her lips, pouring all of the love she had ever felt into that one kiss, in the hopes that true love would break this curse.
When she pulled away, nothing had changed. Regina's body was still warm, but eternally still. Apparently true love's kiss doesn't break every curse.
Henry stood, jaw dropped, in pure shock. "Henry," Emma murmured, but the boy would not move. So Emma made her way over to him, and wrapped her arms around him tightly, and they sank to the floor, because Emma's knees felt weak, and they laid against the bed, where above them, Regina lay, and they cried. They just cried.
.oOo.
After what felt like forever, the two of them had stopped crying. They were just sitting in each other's arms.
"What do we do now?" Henry asked as he stood, wiping his eyes, pained at his mother's lifeless body.
"We call someone…" Emma murmured.
"Who?" Henry asked, taking Regina's hand, surprised by how cold it had become.
"I don't really know…" Emma said awkwardly. She looked at Regina. Regina would know what to do at a time like this. Because she was the responsible one. She took care of every piece of behind the scenes work to keep everything running smoothly. Emma should have paid more attention to her.
Henry looked down at his mother, and then up to Emma, and smirked.
"What?" Emma asked, unsure if Henry would start crying again.
"You're an idiot," he said, and burst into laughter. Emma looked on in absolutely shock. Was her son have a psychotic break? Is that what happens to children who have been through so many traumatic events in too short a time? What should she do?
"Henry, are you okay?" Emma asked nervously. But Henry continued to laugh.
"I know this isn't the time to laugh, but mom would have thought you were the biggest idiot, right now….you know that right?" He asked, a sad smile lit up on his face.
"Yeah, I know," Emma admitted sheepishly, and she chuckled along side him.
"And you know we're laughing because we're delirious? And over tired?" He asked.
"I know that too," Emma said with a smile.
"I guess we should call grandma and grandpa…" Henry suggested.
"Do you want to go do that?" Emma asked. Henry shook his head.
"Can you…I just want a minute alone," He said with a shrug.
"Oh…oh yeah, of course. I'll be right outside in the hallway if you…you know, need me," Emma told him.
"Yeah…I know. Thanks," He said, and watched as Emma asked the room hesitantly. When the door was shut, he looked back to Regina's body.
"Mom…" He began. "I wish I had said this to you before… But I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for how I treated you when I left to find Emma. I was confused and upset, and you seemed like the easiest person to take it out on…" Henry explained.
Emma who had made it outside the door, pressed her ear up against it, to listen to her son.
"At first I thought it was because you were the evil queen…but that's dumb….it was because you loved me no matter what. And I was so horrible, but I always knew you'd love me no matter what. Which is so selfish, but at the time, it was so comforting to know that," Henry admitted, wiping tears from his eyes. "And even though you're gone now, I feel better knowing that you'll still always love me. And I promise to take care of Emma…because I think she's going to have trouble taking care of herself for a little while now. But that's ok. Because I'm here for her…just like she's here for me," Henry continued. "I love you, mom. So much." With that, he leant over the bed and hugged his mother tightly, as tears flowed down his cheeks.
Emma pulled away from the door, and dialed her mother's phone number.
"Emma, hi honey, what's going on?" Mary Margaret greeted when she pick up the phone. At the sound of her mother's voice, Emma broke down and began to cry again.
"Mom," Emma began, calling her mother 'mom' for the first time since she and Regina had stopped the curse from destroying Storybrooke.
"Oh, Emma," Mary Margaret murmured, knowing immediately what had happened.
"Will you please…and dad…I just…she's still in the bed and I don't know what to do…" Emma explained.
"We'll be right over," Mary Margaret said, hanging up the phone.
They were there literally moments later. Emma remained where she stood, afraid to move and disturb Henry.
"How did you get here so fast?" Emma asked raising an eyebrow.
"Where is she?" Mary Margaret asked.
"In there," Emma said pointing towards the bedroom.
"And Henry?" Mary Margaret asked.
"Still crying over her body…He wanted a minute alone with her to say good bye," Emma explained.
"When did she…?" Mary Margaret asked.
"An hour ago…I guess…her body is like still completely in tact….kind of cold, but it actually looks like she's sleeping," Emma continued.
"And did you try-" Mary Margaret whispered. She had to ask.
"Of course I did. Apparently true love doesn't break every curse," Emma said bitterly.
"I'm sorry, sweet heart. But you know, your love was the truest of all," Mary Margaret said, as David walked past the two and in to the room.
"How's that?" Emma asked. "How can ours be any stronger than yours and dad's?"
"Because you brought light to her dark. You were the savior, and you saved the one person that everyone thought evil had consumed," Mary Margaret explained, leaving Emma puzzled, as she entered the bedroom as well.
"Come here Henry," Mary Margaret asked gently. Emma stepped up to Regina's body one last time.
"I love you," she murmured, and kissed Regina's lips one last time, before stepping away.
"Okay…you can…I don't what you're gonna do. Just do it," Emma begged, and she lead Henry away. She suddenly felt suffocated by the heat of the indoors and she took Henry to stand outside in the cool air.
"Come here," Emma said, and wrapped an arm around Henry, who had since leaving his mother, grown silent.
Unbeknownst to the pair, as Emma kissed Henry's forehead, a wave a golden light flashed through the town, and it began to snow.
"Mom would call this cathartic," Henry murmured, as he gazed into the air at the falling snow flakes.
"That she would," Emma mused, thinking of the sarcasm that would lace Regina's voice as she commented on the snow. "That she would…"
.oOo.
"Look at you," Emma said, offering her son a proud smile. He was dressed in a well fitted suit, something Regina had insisted on, with a long tie wrapped haphazardly around his neck.
"Will you tie it?" He asked her. She nodded with a gentle smile, taking the tie and looping through itself. She pulled it tight, and stepped back to take in her son. She smiled.
"You look beautiful, Mom," Henry told her seriously, admiring her long black dress.
"You're looking pretty sharp yourself, there, kid," Emma said, trying to brush off his compliment.
"Mom always said you were the most beautiful woman she'd ever seen. It's true… besides her, ya know," Henry commented.
"Thank you, Henry," Emma said, genuinely, giving a small smile, biting her trembling lip, to stop from crying. She quickly wiped her eyes.
"Are you, uh…ready?" She asked.
"Yes," He nodded. He took her hand, and they walked to the car together.
.oOo.
"A lot of you thought a lot of different things about Regina. And I know that those things weren't always good things. And I'm not here to rehash those old, bad memories. So if you are….you should probably have the decency and respect to get out," Emma began, as she looked out at all the faces that had turned up. She was surprised at the number of people that were there, especially the ones that she thought would never show. She waited a moment, giving any one that needed to, the chance to leave, but no one did.
"Alright then. When Regina was about to absorb the curse to save this town and everyone in it from being destroyed she told me one thing. She said that all her life, she'd been called the Evil Queen. And all she wanted was to die as Regina. To a lot of people, she was probably the Evil Queen. But to me and to our son, she was always Regina. She was a mother, she was someone's child, she was my true love, she made a lot of mistakes…but she also did so much good in our lives," Emma said, forcing herself not to cry.
"And you know…my mom just told me the other day that our love was the truest because I, as the savior, saved everyone, and her…and she was the one that people thought couldn't be saved. But that's where my mom was wrong. I didn't save her," Emma said shaking her head, the tears falling freely. "No….she saved me."
Fin.
a/n: hope you enjoyed that. i did. except i cried a lot writing it. and i don't cry. so wow. oh wow. okay review i guess if you liked it and tell me you liked it. or review and tell me why it sucked so i can make myself suck less in the future. thanks.