Okay. So here it is. The long awaited (I hope) Starcraft Interviewer: Zerg! I hope you like it!
RD
Intro
If you've read Starcraft Interviewer: Terran, you can skip this part. If you haven't, go read it. If you're to lazy to go read it, then this is for you.
RD (a.k.a. me.) is the host of a talk show called Starcraft Interviewer. Last season, he interviewed the Terran. The story ends with the battlecruiser pilot RD was about to interview crashes onto the stage, with the final words, "They're here." Suddenly, the zerg hive attacks, and the audience flees in panic. RD is captured by Kerrigan, and the two make a deal: Kerrigan and the zerg will keep RD alive only if he can interview all of the zerg on his show live. And that's where this story starts off…..
RD: Hello, all! Welcome to the next season of Starcraft Interviewer! We will be interviewing the zerg this season! Won't that be fun?
Audience: No.
RD: Be nice, you guys, or I'll make you all disappear!
Random Audience Member: You can't make us disappear!
RD: Oh yeah? –makes Random Audience Member disappear- You forget that I am The Writer, and I defy-
Audience: The Laws of Physics, yeah, yeah, yeah.
RD: Good. You understand. Our first contestant is none other than….. Kerrigan!
Audience: But we hate Kerrigan!
RD: -coughs pointedly-
Audience: Oh yeah, right. Go Kerrigan!
Kerrigan: -walks up to stage-
RD: Welcome, Kerrigan! Ready for the interview?
Kerrigan: Be quiet and hurry up.
RD: But how can I interview you if I'm quiet?
Kerrigan: -sighs-
RD: Ah. Right. Sorry. Here's our first question: WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO SEND YOUR LITTLE ZERG ARMY IN HERE AND RUIN MY SHOW, AND BLACKMAIL ME! I SHOULD CALL THE COPS!
Kerrigan: Or we could kill you now.
RD: Ah. But here you are wrong. You forget. I am The Writer, and I defy the Laws of Physics! –makes Kerrigan disappear-
Kerrigan: Ummmm….okay.
RD: Huh? You're supposed to be teleported away! –tries again- Darn it! My powers don't work against super-ugly people!
Kerrigan: Hey!
RD: Sorry, sorry. But you know, we're running out of time, and we need to get moving. Next person?
Kerrigan: Fine. Next person. –leaves stage-
RD: Okay, who should our next person be?
Audience: You mean you don't know already?
RD: Of course I do! I'm just joking with you! We are interviewing…um…-looks at notes- ah, yes… The Overmind!
-silence-
RD: Ummm…. Where is he?
Raynor: He can't move, stupid!
Kerrigan: -gasps- Raynor, is that you?! –runs to him and sits next to him- I've missed you all these years! I've been meaning to call you, but the Zerg Empire has a lousy telephone network, and please, 1.00 a minute? Is that expensive or what? But now that I can talk to you personally, we can go to the movies tomorrow! Yay! I'll let you pay!
Raynor: AH!! –runs away-
Kerrigan: -turns to audience and shrugs- As you can see, he's very excited. Our first date!
RD: -coughs-
Kerrigan: Oh, right. Sorry. Go on.
RD: Thank you, Kerrigan. Now, as the matter of talking to the Overmind, you all forget-
Audience: We know, we know. You're The Writer, and you defy the Laws of Physics.
RD: Actually, I was going to say you all forgot that Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone. –picks up phone and dials number-
Overmind: -answers phone- If you're a Zeg Scout, then just leave me alone. I don't want to buy any cookies!
RD: Um… we're not Zerg Scouts selling cookies. I'm RD, the host of Starcraft Interveiwer. If you don't mind, we would like to ask you a few questions.
Overmind: -gasps- Am I actually on the show?
RD: Yes, you are.
Overmind: EEEEEK! I'M SO EXCITED! THIS IS BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS! I'LL BE THE MOST POPULAR KID IN SCOOL! I AM ON STARCRAFT INTERVIEWER! YAY!
RD: Um, yeah. Hello to you too. Now. Let's get on to the questions, shall we?
Overmind: ….
RD: Are you there?
Overmind: ….
Kerrigan: I think it fainted.
RD: Oh, great. –hangs up- So can we stop the show now, Kerrigan?
Kerrigan: -sighs- Fine. But be back tomorrow. I'll be bringing a drone, a zergling, and a hyrdralisk.
RD: I'll be there.
Okay, I hoped you guys liked it! Stay tuned until the next episode!
RD