Sometimes, when you're all by yourself (which is pretty often), you like to curl up into a ball and lean against a wall, imaging the what-if situations that would have happened if the alpha timeline allowed you, or any other version of you, to stay alive past Gamzee's attacks.
You'd like to think that maybe, things would have gone alright, and that nobody would have died (but Vriska had already died once and became godtier… so you suppose it was a lost cause to begin with), and that maybe, just maybe, you all could have been happy.
Even if it meant that Terezi won over Karkat and they became matesprits.
Even if it meant that you'd be hurting over a lost love that was never meant to be yours.
You think that you'd be okay with that, if it meant that you could be with all your friends again.
Everyone would be happy, and… you wouldn't be so lonely anymore. Looking around your empty dream bubble, you wonder when someone, dead or alive, would just finally wander in here.
Sometimes you hope Equius will find you, and the two of you would never be apart again.
Sometimes you think that Terezi would be able to sniff you out, and that the two of you could roleplay once more.
Sometimes you wish Karkat would stumble in, and maybe he'd spend a few minutes with you, and maybe you could even confess to him since you had nothing to lose.
You heard somewhere that a Nepeta managed to get together with another Karkat from a doomed timeline.
You hope she's happy with him, and that he's happy with her.
Secretly, you're completely jealous of her, because why does THAT Nepeta get to be flushmates with Karkat, and not you?
What was so different about you that a Karkat didn't feel enough pity for you?
A sigh escapes you as you curl up tighter, getting lost in your thoughts and avoiding your memories. Fantasies tend to be better than realities you've come to realize, and now that you're dead, who even needs reality?
Your blank, white eyes close, focusing on that one grumpy troll's image. Thinking harder, you imagine him turning around to look at you with that fixed glare on his face, softening once he realizes it's just you (sometimes you like to think that his gaze really did soften when he saw you, but deep inside, you know he was just looking at you with that sort of guilt, and you were pretty sure you knew why), and he walks towards you with a sort of purpose, until he's kneeling in front of your curled figure, and his fingers are combing through your messy hair gently.
"Hey…" he says softly, "What's wrong?" Usually, you'd peek up and smile at him, but today, you're just too consumed with the empty feeling of loneliness, so you let a out feeble "nothing" before curling up even tighter than before.
"Hey come on, don't be like this." You'd hear him shuffling around a bit, before his warmth is sitting right next to you, and he wraps his arms softly, but tightly, around you as he brings you closer to him.
"Want to tell me what's wrong? I know I'm not like you're sweaty *sshole of a moirail, but I can sure as h*ll try and help you anyway." You want to lean against him, nuzzle him, hug him, touch him, but… if you tried to do any of those things, then the mirage would just fade away.
Instead, you content yourself with breathing in his scent, however faded it was in your mind. Next to you, he sighs softly after receiving no response, and tightens his grip around you, and, much to your surprise, nuzzles his cheek against yours before resting his head against your neck. You crack your eyes open from your surprise, and watch as the dark shadow that formed your dearly beloved (and very much fake) Karkat slither back into nothingness, leaving you alone once more.
Your head falls forward to knees as you tremble slightly. You saw his symbol on the shadow. It was faint, but you were sure that it was there on it. Sobs rack your frame as realization strikes you harshly: you were slowly going mad from being alone, and now even your imagination is coming to life.
You half wonder if being just a little bit insane would be bad though.
There really is nothing left for you here.
A/N: I made a bet with a friend and lost, so I had to post up a one-shot. This was originally posted on Tumblr, so if you've read it on the katnep thread, then hi, nice to meet you, I'm jubilantscribbler. Otherwise, please enjoy this fanfic. If enough people like it, I might even change this one-shot into a two-shot.
(Okay so is being difficult, but this was based off a pic on Tumblr. Send me a PM if you'd like to see the pic the fic was based off!)