A/N: I owe this one to Melissa and Ren, because they're are uber awesome and updated The Eccentric Files with in the week. And it was over seven thousand words, so they'll be getting another one-shot as soon as I hear what they want. This story does them and their fabulous fac justice, but they wanted a Shikamaru and Sakura one-shot and here it is. They are wonderful people, and this is dedicated to them, quite obviously. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: You know how that one guy in Rhode Island gets to be president if almost thirty million people die? I'm about that far down on the Naruto ownership list. Probably right below that guy in Rhode Island.
It was a sunny day, the villagers were cheerfully going on about their business, and it looked like there was the making of a cat fight by the Hokage's office.
Sakura glared at the Hokage. "Hell no."
"Sakura," Tsunade cracked her knuckles, "This is a mission. And you will go on this mission, because I tell you to and because it is for the sake of Konoha!"
Sakura looked skeptical. "And how does my going on a date with anyone help Konoha?"
"That information is irrelevant. But, I assure you, it has nothing to do with my drinking a lot of sake, and then making a bet with Jiraiya about my matchmaking skills."
"Tsunade-sama! I thought I told you that drinking weakened your good judgment and -!"
"I know that!" Tsunade barked, "I am a medic! But I am also the Hokage and YOU WILL DO WHAT I TELL YOU TOO!!!"
Sakura glowered. "Yes, of course, Hokage-sama."
Tsunade grinned. "Great! You'll be going out with the Nara boy in an hour."
"Shikamaru?!" Sakura asked, incredulously. "I thought I got to pick! I was going to ask out Sasuke-kun!" She whined.
"Sakura. I'm only going to tell you this once. The Uchiha Clan can be repopulated by any hooker. I do not want you to be the little slut who mass-produced and provided them with a bunch of fairies who look and act exactly like their chicken-haired father with the intelligence of their mother divided between them. You," she took a deep breath, "Need someone who can actually think about something else other than killing his brother and being a prick. Nara is a nice boy who is smart and relatively good looking, despite his defying-gravity hair. And you will go out with him because it's the right thing to do, and if you don't, I'll have you demoted to desk clerk so fast, your little pink head will spin. Now, MOVE IT!"
Sakura quickly stepped outside the Hokage's office. She could see through the door's window that Tsunade was now guzzling a bottle of sake.
"Well," she said to herself, "This ought to be fun."
And, surprisingly, it was. Shikamaru had brought her flowers, took her to dinner, had not mentioned anything about being "troublesome", and kissed her goodnight.
There was no way she could she could go back to chicken hair after this.
A/N: I hope it was alright. I promised to get it posted the same day they put their next chapter up (which was today, duh), so I didn't really get to plan. Don't forget to R&R! Ren and Missa's Eternally Expectant Fan (and sometimes slave driver), SakuraDouble