Last week I woke up to find myself

stuck in memory with you

And all I felt was

my heart burning

because you were near enough for me

to still hear your voice.

I felt the searing vessels in my veins

I saw the scars starting to show

beneath my skin.

But you still let me in

You decided it was sink or swim,

and we were the storm.

You were the lightning,

and I was the thunder,

and the waves crashing around our bodies

brought us closer to each other.

And to be honest, I fell for you

I sought out a cane and willingly plunged myself

into a world of blindness.

2 years,

104 weeks,

730 days,

17520 hours,

around 1 million minutes

and closer to 60 billion seconds.

I wasted being in your arms.

And the time became the ticking of the metronome

Waiting for you.

Then, I counted my breath like the timing of the notes

before you spoke.

I became more aware of feeling my throat closing

and my vision blurring

my hands stopping on the keys.

Deafening silence started screaming at me

and electrical currents of lightning

couldn't rescue my mind.

The last words you said to me

where about a month ago.

And as I stepped on the shards of glass-like memories

beneath my feet of you and me

I saw your promises were as broken as

the tree growing through the pavement down the street

Your words were as empty as my heart

because you deserted the rooms a long time ago.

I stepped on the memory of the first time that

you said I love you

and cut myself with the last time you meant it

The blood on the floor are the battle wounds

from the minefield of tatters of what was left of you and I

And you know I'm seeing that

The things we shared are starting to look more and more

like the times you lied.

Now I try to remember to forget

but it's like talking on a line of string

that's been hanging up there for too long.

The frays are the fights we had,

and the tape holding it together

were the times when we made up.

Everything just gets stuck

because all I hear is useless static.

But there are torturous times when I can still hear your voice

My soul becomes a battleground

Your hands must ache

because my heart is sore.

Your words echo in the screaming silence.

So tell me why this destroyed place

seems so familiar.

I just got lost

in our lightning storm.

Your voice is screaming inside my head

and your hands are holding mine

but I feel like they are around my throat

My eyes are stinging from the blinding tears

and your photo is

burning inside my pocket.

Finally, I realized

You were a drug

Like the disease of my blindness was loving you

and it was robbing the life

right out of my eyes

Like it was stealing the light

right out of my smile.

I was saving you the hurt

but you were killing me.

Now all night I listen to the thunder in my dreams

but when I close my eyes to fall asleep

I realized that not being everything

you ever wanted

Is the same reason why

Thunder doesn't paint the sky,

lightning doesn't make a sound

And why I still cannot see or hear either.