Super Bowser 64

By: C. Mechayoshi

The Cake is a lie (Chapter 1)

Created: 3/29/17

Disclaimer: Mario and co. belong to Nintendo.

Summary: A strange accident sends Bowser into an alternate dimension where he relives the events of Super Mario 64. From Mario's perspective!

Author note: Just a cool idea I had. I hope it hasn't been done before. Cover art: by me

"Peace Keeping Campaign Successful!"

King Bowser was flying home from a political meeting at Sky Land, and he figured he'd update his blog for Dark Land dot gov.

The sky was blue, weather was warm, and the future looked bright for the King. He was going to make amendments with nearby Kingdoms that weren't on friendly terms (so basically all of them). And he'd play nice whether they liked it or not! Of course, this was just to impress Princess Peach. If he could get on her good side, he'd be invited to more parties and get-togethers. His goal was the Mushroom Ball. It was a stretch, but if he could get on good terms with all of the nearby Kingdoms, Peach would be sure to notice. And if he made it to the ball? Well...the Koopa King certainly had some interesting things planed.

(Un)fortunately though, since these Kingdoms had been harassed by Bowser in the past (and they had common sense), the forgiveness process was taking a while. Still, you catch more Fly Guys with Honey Syrup than a Thunder Rage.

"Citizen approval rose from -40% to -30%," he continued to type. Suddenly, his Airship jolted.

"Hey!" Bowser called up front. "What's going on?!"

BEEP BEEP BEEP

The Airship's automatic warning sounds went off, indicating a drop in air pressure.

Bowser ran to the pilot compartment. The Bandit pilot continued to fly forward, captivated by the red glowing space abnormality. Bowser's jaw dropped.

It was a black hole!

"Divert! What's the hold up?" Bowser commanded.

The pilot blinked rapidly as he broke out of the daze. "Sir! A black hole, sir!"

"Duh?! Get us out of here!"

"Get us out? We must abandon, sir!"

The ship began to violently shake. The pilots hand hovered over the eject button.

"Don't you dare," Bowser warned, "I have something very valuable on this ship. Save us!"

"Sorry, sir. You do not pay me enough for this."

"What?-"

Floosh!

The pilots seat sprung into the air, taking away the top glass with it. The wind created a whirlwind inside the cabin and Bowser grabbed a rail for support.

"Dirty traitor!" Bowser yelled, though his voice was lost in the wind noise.

Bowser plopped down in the second chair. Ignoring his lightheadedness, he grabbed the controls and attempted to pull the airship back. The cabin creaked and cracked under pressure. The ship was being sucked in and the thrusters couldn't fight it. Bowser scrambled for the radio.

"Mayday! Mayday! This is Bowser. S.O.S! Whatever- help!" The radio slipped from his claws.

"PRESS START TO PLAY" droned loudly as Bowser started to pass out.

This was it. Trapped by a trap that he had in the past used for world domination. Bowser figured one of his own designs might kill him one day, but he had always bet on it be lava or giant spikes, not random black holes tearing holes in the universe. Then he thought about his friends and family. Would his heir, Bowser Junior rule the kingdom right? Would his political relationships be better? What about Peach and friends? Would someone else kidnap her? Would Mario move on to another rival? Lastly, the special gift he had stowed away on the ship. It would never be delivered.

The last thing he saw was a strange checkerboard pattern all across the visor as his world went black.

The magnificent Peach's Castle was a landmark in the Mushroom Kingdom. Situated on a private acre of land with a freshwater lake, the three storied building housed the Princess and her loyal servants. Lakitu was illegally filming the castle, hoping to capture something embarrassing that he could share on Facebook, but the place seemed deserted and eerily quiet. Then he heard the sound of a warp pipe appearing. Lakitu hid behind a tree.

Bowser was forcefully ejected from a giant warp pipe. He flailed in the air until he landed face first on the sanely ground.

"Yow! What the-"

This was it! He could film Bowser embarrassing himself instead!

A message popped up in Bowser's face.

"Ciao! This is NOT Dimentio, but this is Peach's Castle. Your sorry self got here by a warp pipe, silly! Press these buttons to do stuff. Okay? See ya!"

"What buttons? Dimentio? You sorry sucker...wait. Where am I?"

The text box went away as Lakitu showed his face.

"Hey Bowser," Lakitu greeted. "We're uh...the Lakitu Bros, making a documentary about the place and.."

"Hold it, hold it. How did I get to Peach's Place?"

"Uh, she baked you a cake," Lakitu lied. "Yeah, an invitation. So do you agree to have me follow you or not?"

"Follow me?"

"Yeah. I'll give you extra camera angles and stuff for free, but I must follow you everywhere! You can press 'C' or go into the start menu to switch them by the way."

"There y'all go again with the the buttons and menus and whatnot! Whatever, follow if you want. I'm going inside."

Bowser entered through the front door. Right as he was greeting to the front room, another message popped up.

"Welcome. I mean, you're not welcome. Go home! To one is here. Gwa haha!" A deep laugh echoed.

"Weird," Bowser said, "It's like I've heard that before. Hm...oh well. Probably a coincidence. Hey Princess! Uh, what's his name? Toad? Mario! Somebody?"

A Toad standing near the left most door whimpered.

"Bout time I found somebody. Thought I was in Twilight Town for a moment! What's up?"

"Am I glad to see you!" the Toad blurted out, "The Princess...and I...and, well, everybody...we're all trapped inside the castle walls. Bowser has stolen... wait. You are Bowser!"

"What? I am? I had no idea..." Bowser said annoyingly.

"Well, the castle's Stars, and he's using their power to create his own world in the paintings and walls. Please recover the Power Stars! As you find them, you can use their power to open the doors that Bowser has sealed. There are four rooms on the first floor. Start in the one with the painting of Bob-omb inside-"

"Hold on. Are you a tour guide or something? Who is this other Bowser?"

"I don't know?! I just know that you need to SAVE US!" The Toad went transparent again.

"I suggest you enter the door with the star symbol," Lakitu whispered.

"Who told you to speak?"

"I'm just suggesting what's good for the ratings. I can't film you doing nothing. Besides, like Toad boy said, these doors have a weird lock on them. We're going to need stars to get anywhere."

Bowser groaned, but complied to his 'cameraman's' suggestion. He was greeted to a oddly familiar painting of Bob-ombs marching.

"Hmm. Wonder who the Princess's new decorator is? This is horribly empty! And no furniture?-"

"Hop inside already," Lakitu whispered.

"Alright. I do need to get to the home, and looks like this stupid star scavenger hunt is my only option. I had better get a nice paycheck from that documentary too!" Bowser stepped back to get a running start.

"Well...Here goes nothing!"

Bowser made a dash into the painting as the evil laugh echoed again.

To be continued...

Author note: Hope this turned out well. This will be a series, but a shorter one than Mario and Bowser: Frenemies Forever, obviously. The focus will be humor and parody here, so don't expect relationship drama and what not.