Zany Is A Good Thing In Our Universe
Disclaimer: Nope, absolutely no ownage here. I am merely playing.
Summary: Dr. Keller gets an invitation to go to her high school reunion on Earth. Ronon decides that it would be an excellent vacation for her. Things get interesting. Taken from the "Idiot's Guide" universe.
Yeah, for those of you who are reading this, this story is taken from the "Idiot's Guide to the Pegasus Galaxy" fic that I've been working on (sporadically) over the last few years. I thought that it would be funny if there was some kind of touch-back to gauge the sense of normal on Earth with the sense of normal that Atlantis has.
If you haven't read the "Idiot's Guide," you should. It's funny. But, if you don't want to go through that entire fic, since it's long, here's the basic summary – Dr. Weir began creating a list of rules to guide the Expedition. The Expedition is crazy. Teyla and Shepard are married, as are Ronon and Jen. Ronon and Jen are friends with Dr. Zalenka and an original character (Captain Annie Dyson of A-6, who is married to a Pegasus native named Zek and has a daughter named Mora). The four of them have this unofficial strike force called the Alliance. There are a fair number of references to the Alliance in this story.
There are other bits from the "Idiot's Guide" that are gags and such that will be mentioned in passing.
Anyways, I won't ramble any more. I just wanted to give you a basic idea of where this story was coming from and a bit of background. So, without further ado, onto the story!
The gym hadn't changed much in the near fifteen years since she had last seen it. In fact, if Jen were to guess, she would say that it hadn't changed at all. And, to top it all off, the people who occupied said room hadn't quite gone through the same experiences that she had since graduating high school all those years ago. Then again, save for herself and Ronon, no one else in the room knew for a definite fact that aliens existed, Atlantis was real, and that the United States had an active intergalactic space program run out of a mountain military base in Colorado. But that was beside the point at the moment.
A part of Jen was annoyed, mainly due to the fact that she was stuck in a stuffy room while she was on leave when (given that she was on leave) she would rather be elsewhere, doing other things. However, now that the time and event had arrived, she had to admit, being here was nice.
It gave her the opportunity to see where the people she had lived with and known for the first eighteen years of her life had ended up. And, the petty part of her argued, it also gave her the chance to show off her husband, who, based on her observations, was being eyed up by more than a few of her former classmates as he stalked towards the drink table. Jen smiled at that, suppressing the urge to walk up beside him and slip an arm through his, glare at said oglers, and say "Nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah, nyah." Of course, it had been completely innocent when she had placed a kiss on his cheek when they had walked into the room.
Though, knowing Ronon, if he was privy to her thoughts, he would probably had laughed and been glued to her side for the rest of the evening.
Despite being on Atlantis for as long as he had been, Ronon never was one for being the center of attention, unless he was in the ring, training people. That was a different case though. He was more of an observer than a participant, quietly earning the reputation of being the one no one wanted to mess with in a fight.
"Jennifer Keller!" a bright, if slightly forced, voice called, causing Jen's head to span around in search of said voice.
She bit back a reaction as she saw the trio of women heading in her direction, smiles on their faces. Jen put a smile that almost no one would recognize as fake on her face as she approached them.
"Hey," Jen said, as Sally Richards, Hattie Bruck, and Kayla Young came within hugging distance.
The three women engulfed her into embraces that were light and over very quickly, not that Jen was complaining too much. If she remembered correctly, those three hadn't necessarily been friendly to her in high school, though they did make the occasional passing comment about her focus on studies over the typical high school experience. But Jen had put those feelings of resentment long behind her, especially after she had become a doctor, had moved to Atlantis, and had gotten married.
"How are you, Jen?" Hattie inquired, taking Jen's hand, leading her over to a nearby table. "The only news anyone ever hears about you is through your parents and, even then, it's not a lot."
Jen took a second to compose her thoughts. She and Ronon had their usual cover story that they used but, given that her Sadetan husband was currently off in search of drinks (and, probably, a few escape roots, if the need arose), she had to go it alone for this.
"Well, after I finished my residency, I was contracted by the government to work on one of their bases," she explained carefully.
All three women cooed in delight.
"Oh, hot Army guys," Sally replied, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.
Jen shook her head. "It's mainly Air Force and Marines where I am, not to mention more than a few scientists." She sighed. "Most of them have it in their head that they like to run the infirmary ragged, which is why I was brought in. The CMO needed back-up, especially given the tendency of the entire base to get injured without any warning."
"Any details you can give us?" Kayla probed, her tone playful and a bit sly, clearly fishing for details. "Or is it all hush-hush government stuff."
"Classified is the appropriate term," Jen corrected automatically, "and, no, I can't talk about what I'm doing or where I am." Feeling a bit playful, she gave them a conspiratorial look. "It was a bit of a push just to get them to let me out for today."
"Really?"
She grinned. "I had to threaten a few of the more stubborn scientist I know that if they got hurt while I was away, I would make their lives a living hell. They'll listen. They know I have needles and they've met my husband." Jen gave them one of her patented "I'm a Doctor, do not question me" looks. "Besides, when you, your husband, and two of your close friends have access to paintball guns and are all relatively good shots with said guns, they tend to pay attention to you."
All three women gave looks of surprise. Jen felt a bit of pride, knowing that they probably didn't believe her. That was okay. Plausible deniability! Besides, it's not like anyone would ever believe that she had the President on speed-dial.
"Sounds . . . fascinating."
Jen smiled. "Oh, it's all in a day's work. But, enough about me, what's going on with you three?"
The conversation shifted away from Jen as the three women gossiping about their lives, their husbands, their children, and their work. Jen felt a bit mind-numbed about the fact that all three seemed to be contented with their lives at the moment – Kayla as a stay-at-home mom to two kids and married to an Army officer stationed in Georgia, Hattie as a teacher married to a doctor with triplets, and Sally as a nurse married to a lawyer with a kid.
"You should talk to Andy," Hattie said. "He's always going on and on about whatever medical research was published in the latest journal. It always goes over my head." She giggled a bit. "Honestly, I'm sure it's important, but I don't really care to hear about the details about this new medicine that can boost the immune system of cancer and AIDS patients."
Jen bristled a bit. That medicine was still experimental and it was a joint project between the SG-C and Atlantis, based on a medicine that they had discovered in Pegasus and had been testing in the labs. The Smart Camp and the medical staff were actually cooperating on this, which was rare, considering the number of explosions Rodney liked to cause. They had just gotten clearance to publish the article a few months ago.
"I know that project very well," Jen said defensively. "A friend of mine is the one heading it actually."
Looks passed between the three women as they realized that they stepped on toes before their attention shifted.
She didn't need to follow their eyes. Ronon's presence at her side was quiet, as it always was, his solid aura washing over her, soothing her frazzled nerves. Jen shifted a bit, slipping within arm's reach of him, taking the glass of wine that he had in his hand.
"You were gone a while, Ronon," she said, off-handedly. "Did you check all of the hallways for monsters?"
"No, only the ones between here and the nearest exit," he replied, his voice level and gruff. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him observe the three women watching them. "Can never be too cautious."
With Ronon, that was an understatement. It had taken a good hour to coax him into leaving his stunner in the car, though Jen didn't even bother to take his knives from him. As long as he kept them hidden (and hidden well), she had no problem with him carrying them. She couldn't fault him. After all, she had her medical kit next to his stunner in the car and there was a knife in her purse, just in case.
Some might call them paranoid; she called them Pegasus-trained.
"Who's this fine man?" Hattie asked, her eyes trailing over Ronon's body.
If there was one thing that Jen enjoyed about being on Earth with Ronon, it was the fact that most women found him very attractive. A part of her enjoyed flaunting the fact that she (and she alone) was the one with Ronon. Possessive was fun and she knew that Ronon felt the same way whenever men eyed her up.
"This is my husband, Ronon Dex," Jen introduced, careful to avoid the Specialist. "He's a consultant at the base I work at. Ronon, these are three of my former classmates, Sally Richards, Hattie Bruk, and Kayla Young."
Ronon nodded. "Pleasure."
It wasn't, Jen knew. He had seen their looks.
"Wow, so, Jen," Kayla said, cautiously, "a Doctor and married. Any plans for kids in the near future?"
Jen looked at Ronon. It was a topic that they had talked about a number of occasions. He gently wrapped an arm around her waist. She placed a hand on his, pressing lightly.
"One day," Ronon said.
"Hopefully sooner rather than later," Jen added, smiling at Ronon. He gave her one of his patented head tilts. She laced her fingers through his. "But our lives are hectic right now, so we're holding off for the moment, though we both want kids."
The three women all gave smiles. Seconds later, Kayla smiled a bit, her eyes shifting to a point across the room.
"Look," Kayla said, "there's Jeremiah." Jen turned and saw another old friend from high school. Kayla raised a hand and called out to him.
Jen saw the man put a cell phone back into his pocket before he straightened his uniform jacket, grinning a bit as he made his way over to them. He was dressed in an Air Force uniform and had the rank of Captain, Jen surmised, her experience with the Stargate program giving her an edge on reading ranks and branches.
She smiled a bit as he approached. Jeremiah had been her first crush back in high school. They had been friends for the longest time, though time and respective jobs had caused them to drift apart.
"Hey, Kayla," he said, drawing up to their small group, giving them all a friendly nod of greeting.
"It's about time you showed up, 'miah. We've all missed you," Kayla said, grinning a bit, "You remember everyone – Hattie, Sally." She waved her hand towards the two women before indicating Jen and Ronon. "And you remember Jen Keller as well."
The grin that split across his face was encouraging. He remembered the old times as well. "Of course I remember Jennie Keller – excuse me, Jen Kell, the crazy future doctor."
That particular memory rose to her mind. Jen didn't bother hiding her laugh as she hugged him.
"It's Dr. J. Kell, now, 'miah, so you better be warned," she explained, stepping back from him. She took Ronon's hand, sensing his tension and squeezing his hand. She looked up at him. He face had the same closed expression it had when he was about to dive, head-first, into a brawl. "And this is my husband, Ronon Dex."
"Nice to meet you, man," Jeremiah said, extending a hand. "It's nice to see that someone figured out a way to keep up with Jen. She was always a handful in high school."
After a moment of consideration, Ronon shook Jeremiah's hand cautiously. "Still is a handful," Ronon replied. "Gets into too much trouble for her own good sometimes, trying to help people."
"Oh, I'll believe it." Jeremiah was laughing now.
"So where are you stationed at the moment?" Jen asked, nudging Ronon in the side and giving Jeremiah the level look that she usually reserved for the idiots of the Marine Brigade and the Smart Camp.
"I've been working out of a base in Nevada for the last few years, testing fighter jets and stuff like that. I can't talk about that too much," he said, "though I'm going to be changing posting soon."
"Where?"
"Out of Cheyenne Mountain," he said, looking over at Kayla. "There's a program that the higher-ups would like me to be attached to, a sort-of multi-nation program that's been running for a few years that works with NORAD."
Jen looked up at Ronon. They both understood.
"General O'Neill talked to you then," Jen commented lightly.
"Yeah." Jeremiah nodded, clearly surprised. All three women present had wide eyes. "How do you know the General?"
Jen smiled a bit. "Ronon and I have both met him a few times," she explained. "He's a really nice guy, a bit off-kilter, but I have great respect for him. He puts up the nuthouse that we work with."
Ronon grunted in affirmation. "He's got one of the best shots I've seen, though Colonel Carter is still top in my book. O'Neill's a good man though, helped me get where I am today. Well, him and Hammond and Landry."
Jeremiah whistled, clearly impressed. "You're talking about some brass there."
"You have an interesting life, Jen Keller" Sally said, lightly slapping Jen's arm playfully.
"Well, my life is nothing, if not weird," she admitted. "But I wouldn't trade it for anything."
Eventually, Sally, Hattie, and Kayla moved from them, going off to claim their respective husbands, leaving Jen and Ronon with Jeremiah. The way that he was eyeing the pair of them gave Jen the idea that he had connected the dots about where they worked. She recognized the way that Ronon tensed up, just a little bit, and she laid a hand on his, as if to steady him.
"I'm guessing you two work with the Stargate program," Jeremiah quietly said, cautious enough not to draw any unwanted attention to them.
Jen nodded. "We're members of the Atlantis Expedition. I'm the co-CMO and Ronon's a member of the lead team out of Atlantis." Jeremiah gulped, just a little bit. She didn't know how much information he had received about the Expedition but their reputations seemed to have preceded them. "Are you going to be operating through the SG-C or on Atlantis?"
"Atlantis." Ronon chuckled darkly, earning a questioning look from Jeremiah. "Should I be concerned?"
Ronon didn't answer and he wouldn't, Jen knew.
"Let's just say, those the three weeks you spend getting out to Atlantis will be educational," she said. "My advice, pay attention and don't do anything stupid in the first three months that you're out there." She gave him a little smile. "Once you're out of your newbie phase, the rest of the Expedition will be more forgiving." A thought crossed her mind, making her chuckle. "Strange stuff will happen and the Expedition is considered to be its own governing body, so get used to that."
"And pay attention to the Guide," Ronon said shortly.
Jeremiah looked very confused now.
"What's the Guide?"
"We'll get you the most up-to-date copy," Jen explained. She thought for a moment. "It'll give you an idea of what to expect and, hopefully, you won't warrant any rules – yet."
"Do I even want to know?"
Jen shared a look with Ronon.
"Idiots get rules through stupidity. Geniuses cause rules by experimentation." Ronon's voice was even and low. "Only the best of us put up rules by example."
The gears were clicking in Jeremiah's head. He looked between the two of them and Jen knew that his military mind recognized the ease at which they worked together, as well as the wariness that permeated their every action.
"From what I've heard, Atlantis is as safe as a base can possibly be, given its location."
Neither Jen nor Ronon were going to correct Jeremiah on that little misconception of the base. Atlantis was sentient and he would learn that very quickly. Besides, where was the fun in revealing all of their secrets in one evening?
This was supposed to be a reunion!
"We do what we can, and, if worst comes to worst, we have back-up plans in place."
Ronon was grinning like an evil cat right now. "There's a reason why the President has the Alliance on speed-dial."
"What?"
Poor Jeremiah, he didn't know what he was getting into here.
"It's just a small group of people who aren't officially on the books but, after the President visited a while back, were recognized as a force to be reckoned with. Periodically, they have their own missions," Jen explained. She winked at Jeremiah, giving him something of a broad smirk. "We have regular conference calls with the President." With that, Jen laughed and tugged at Ronon's hand, pulling him to the dance floor. "We'll see you later, Jeremiah."
Jeremiah gave them a stunned wave.
Ronon growled a bit as they walked onto the floor. Jen just smiled sweetly at him. He had promised her a dance and she was going to cash in on that dance. She looped an arm around his neck, which prompted him to put one hand at her waist and take her free hand in his. Jen silently thanked her mother for insisting that they do a "proper" first dance at their Earth wedding.
For a few minutes, they quietly swayed (in the roughest sense of the word) in time with the music, though Jen could see that Ronon was thoroughly uncomfortable on the dance floor. For a trained and experienced warrior, dancing was the one thing that he wasn't extremely graceful in doing.
Still, for all his bravado, Jen knew that he liked to hold her close to him.
After a while, Ronon grumbled. "Should I be worried about Jeremiah?" he said, his voice low enough that only Jen could hear his words.
She looked up at him and laughed.
"Nope," Jen replied, "you shouldn't."
"Are you sure?"
Okay, so maybe Ronon sounded a little jealous. Jen thought that he got so adorable when he was jealous of the fact that he thought that Jeremiah was a threat to their relationship. Maybe, just maybe, Jen though that he was a bit petty, but that was beside the point.
"Yes, Ronon, I'm sure," she told him. "If it makes you feel any better, you can be really mean to him when you're training him."
That earned her a proud chuckle and an unspoken agreement.
Oh yes, Jeremiah was going to have an interesting trip out to the Pegasus Galaxy. Jen was positively sure of it and, if Ronon's face was anything to go by, she was going to have to do some patching up of injuries incurred by said training.
And she found that she couldn't wait.
Jen was actually glad that she had come to this high school reunion. It turned out to have been very fun.
Kind of random, but I thought that you all might like it.
What did you think of this story? Let me know please. If anything, I absolutely love reviews! They're something of a guilty pleasure, if you must know.