Garrus stepped through the elevator door and faced the Commander's cabin. Sprirts, he was nervous. So nervous, in fact, he began sweating, even though turians don't really sweat or whatever. Gingerly he tapped on the door, and it whooshed open dramatically. He stepped into the room and spotted the love of his life. She'd just come out of the shower and was lookin pretty fly for a human lady what without all the plates and such. Like dang she had a booty that just wouldn't quit. No xeno tho.

Shepard turned with a gasp, "Garrus!"

"Shepard." Garrus whispered,

"Garrus?" she asked. Garrus rubbed the back of his neck and motioned towards her,

"Sh-Shepard…." he replied. Shepard blushed,

"Oh, Garrus." she said in her strong but feminine voice. It sent a tingling through Garrus' body. Mainly his dick.

"Jane I must tell you a thing. That thing is that since the moment I met you I have totally wanted to be soul mates with you and junk even though I don't really have a thing for humans because they're not really that attractive. I know we've been besties 5ever and we made those matchin bracelets on Feros from pieces of those colonists but I wanna do the do."

Shepard's eyes twinkled with tears, and for a moment Garrus was worried maybe he said something wrong. Maybe he shouldn't have mentioned those colonists? He knew how much she hated being on Feros that one time.

Consumed by rage at his own actions, Garrus let out a primal screech and punched the fish tank, shattering the glass. Luckily Shepard had disposed of her long dead fish, so the tank was empty. Water flowed onto the floor on the cabin and she took a step forward, "Garrus, I totes feel the same or whatever"

She touched his face. The whole thing. Her fingers danced over his cheeks and his forehead and his eyes a little bit by accident but they landed on his mandible. You know the one. She felt it up or whatever, even the goopy bits that were still healing. Suddenly Garrus' eyes were sparkling with unfallen tears too. Shepard assumed they were from being happy about going to do the intercourse, and not because she was casually fingering his face wounds.

They rubbed foreheads and junk and Garrus started purring because that's canon right. He ran his hands along the side of her face and started kissing her with his nonexistant lips. Shep felt up his fringe a bunch and Garrus kept a firm grasp on the back of her neck. They made out a lot and it was pretty hot. He groaned and placed his hands all over Shepard's body like he was dancing the macarena.

In one quick motion, Garrus scooped the commander into his arms, and proceeded to take her to the bed. Unfortunately the ground was still wet from the tank water and Garrus slipped and fell down the stairs. He landed on Shep and broke her spine and now she's a quadriplegic.

Garrus held Shepard in his arms and screamed to the empty air, "MOUNTAIN AAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHH"

shepard has now become a legend please await further dlc