He left you at the tomb
Of the first casualty of war.
He throws around reasons for why
About your safety,
What you need.
And you understood,
Because of course you did.
But sometimes you look at the man
Lying next to you.
And you think
He would break my heart again
If he thought that it
Would save me.
And you are right.
You miss flying
After they're born.
In those first few weeks
When they scream and scream
You miss
The wind in you hair
The smile on your face
The feel of winning.
You get there too late.
It looks too peaceful.
You decided then
In that second
That a magical death is the worse
Death.
It takes something awful,
Something inhuman,
Something wrong,
And it makes it
Something peaceful.
Something beautiful.
The closest thing to blood,
Was the crimson of his hair.
The same as yours.
And the next time in the mirror
You think that it is
Blood
Twining around your neck
Tumbling down your shoulders.
And you screamed.
And no one was there
To hold you.
You didn't love each other
That was saved for someone else.
But you were fond of him.
Passion warmed in the microwave.
A teenage fling
Without the fun.
He tried too hard
To make up for that.
He treated you like a damsel.
It irritated you.
Like live in your hair,
You know you should leave it alone,
But you just can't stop
Scratching.
Still.
You didn't mean to hurt him.
It shouldn't be possible to break,
A heart that belongs,
To someone else.
You love him so much
Some days it hurts.
The days when you scream
Instead of being
The warm hand
On his shoulder.
You don't mean to.
But your mother's temper
Never left you.
You annoyed her
The journalist with the big hair.
The one that loves
And lies about
Harry.
And everyone else.
And now she's after you.
Trying to blacklist you
(good luck with that)
Trying to besmirch you
(Don't be silly mom, I wouldn't - )
Trying to destroy you
(It was just a silly fling at Hogwarts - )
And it doesn't work.
No one believes her.
No one that you
Care about.
But sometimes the people that you don't
Care about
Are just so tiring.
You led them all
Until you couldn't.
Until they pulled you off the train.
And said it was too dangerous.
So then he took over.
They hailed him as the hero.
They talk about you later,
Some young bright thing,
Claims you
the Forgotten Leader.
But you don't care.
You tell them to leave him the credit.
He deserves it.
You stole a sword
He used it.
For a while
You can feel him
Drifting away.
It hurts when he comes home
Home from school
Home at last.
And he yells
Instead of hugging you.
You just want
Your son back.
And then he drifts back in.
Just when you think he won't
He comes home.
He outlives you.
Because of course he does.
He's always
lucky
Like that.
He holds your hand,
Right at the end.
And he smiles.
And you smile back.
Because of course you do.