HELLO AND WELCOME TO EPISODE ONE OF MARTH AND ROY'S COOKING SHOW! WOOT! It's really random yet it has a story behind it. Strange, huh? But yeah. Disclaimer...

Roy: BLAZE (a.k.a. Tokys Burning) DOESN'T OWN MARTH AND ROY! Or Fire Emblem.He don't own that either. He doesn't own Link, Zelda, the Mario Brothers, any of the poor pickachus mentioned in this episode (none were harmed in the making) Captin Falcon...or any other people we might of mentioned.

Link: YEAH! We all belong to Nintendo!

Mitsuko: I HELPED WRITE IT!

Blaze: Yes... she helped. She's my sister.

Mitsuko: The cake mix and igredients belong to me and Blaze though. Marth stole it all when I wasn't looking... grrrrrr...

Marth: CAN WE GET ON WITH IT ALL READY!

Lesson One: How to Properly Bake a Cake

Lights dim in to reveal two young men standing in white aprons, which hang over their normal everyday armor and clothing.

Marth: Hello, and welcome to Marth and Roy's cooking show!
Roy: Starring us!
Marth: Um….. yes.
Roy: Before we begin, we'd like to introduce our first special guest, Link!

The crowd goes wild as Link reluctantly steps out of the shadows. He gives a small smile and a little wave, and slowly walks up to Marth standing at the far end of the table. The crowd starts to settle.

Marth: quietly to Link I thought I told you to wear something other than that horrible green tunic and those tight-pants things!
Link: quietly back to Marth Bite me! The worst you could possibly do is force me on here! And besides, your cooking tastes like sh-
Roy: OKAY! Well, today, we'll be baking a cake with the help of our special guest, Link!
Link: No we wouln't.
Roy: Well, he seems eage- WHAT! What do you mean, NO?
Marth: You bastard, why do you have to be so stubborn!

The crowd gasps as they here this fowl use of word play

Marth: UHHH... Um... we all love each other... eh heh heh...
Roy and Link: --'
Link: Geez... I try to be nice and this is what I get?

Crowd: AWWWWWWWW...

Marth: WHAT!
Link: If you're going to be that way, I'm not going to help you!
Marth: WHAT! YOU JUST SAID YOU WEREN'T GONNA HELP US ANYWAYS!
Link: I changed my mind, but since you're going to be like that...
Roy: Why can't you be nice, Marth? God!
Marth: WHAAAAT!
Roy: C'mon, Link! I'll be nice, unlike that Hylian hater over there...
Link: Aw, your so nice

Crowd: AWWWWWWWW

-Fifteen Minutes Later-

Roy: Welcome back to The Marth and Roy Cooking Show, with special guest, LINK OF HYRULE!
Link: Hey, buddy...
Roy: We've had a.. Somewhat rough start... but now we're ready to actually get things going here!
Marth: mumbling SOMEWHAT rough! That fool started it... everyone's against me... sigh
Roy: Are we ready?

Crowd: WHOOOO!

Link: Yes
Marth: Bite me.
Roy: Alrighty then! First, preheat the oven to 345 degrees! Can you do that for me, Link?
Link: I suppose so.
Roy: Now I'll take out our BIG bowl, Marth, can you get me a spoon?
Marth: Kiss my a-
Link: I'll do it!
Roy: Next, we'll mix it all together! First, the eggs.
Marth: I'll get the stupid eggs...
Roy: Next, I'll get the oil. Last is the milk. Link, can you get that?
Link: Alright. walks over and opens the fridge OO?
Marth: Give me the stupid bowl!
Roy: Well, while Marth is mixing that, I'll flour the pan. First, you get a paper towel and LIGHTY dab a bit of oil on it and rub it around the pan. After you do that the- turns around OH GOD! WHAT THE--
Marth: What the hell are you doing freak!
Link: MIIILK! MYYY MIIILK! throws a metal spoon at Marth's head knocking him out.
Roy: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! M…. MARTH!
Link: RRRRAAAAGGGGHHH! jumps across room throwing silverware killing several audience members instantly.
Roy:OH GOD NO! WA….. WAIT, I KNOW! presses a red button under the counter.

The ceiling tiles bust open and Mario and Luigi slide down on ropes

Mario: IT-SA-ME, MARI-BLAGH! A flying knife hits him in the head killing him instantly
Luigi: MAMA-MOTHER-EFFING-MIA! runs out the door

Roy:now ducked under counter with pot on head Oh God, where did he go! I-I'm doomed! All I wanted was a cooking show, and now my first guest is going to kill me!
Marth:Just woke upOh, my head…….. WH-what happened…. where am I? Wh-gets hit in the head again every thing goes black
Roy: I'm doomed, were all doomed! Wait, why's it so quiet? gets up from behind the counter He's gone, but where?

WARNING! WARNING! HYLIAN IN THE VENTALATION SYSTEM!

Roy: This is unreal…….. He's gone crazy, but why? thinks back to when it started OH GOD THE MILK!
Roy walks into the security office and sees Luigi crying in the corner and Captain Falcon (who happens to be the chief of security) sitting at a desk.
Falcon: Mr. Roy, Luigi here tells me that his brother was knifed in the head by a crazed Hylian. Is this true?
Roy: Yes, sir, sadly it is true.
Falcon: Interesting…. and is that Hylian the same Hylian that has breached our ventilation systems?
Roy: Yes, sir
Falcon: Hmm, Luigi…
Luigi: sniff sniff Y-yes sir?
Falcon: Send in the pikachus.

-Ten Minutes Later-

Pikaforce1:ch,Pi-pika-pi-pi-pika,ch
Pikaforce2:ch,pika-pi-pika-pika-pi-pi,ch
pika force3:ch,pi-pi-pikachu,ch
Falcon: Impressive, Isn't it Mr. Roy?
Roy: Ye-yeah…..
Falcon: Each pikaforce is made of 500 pikachus with one commander at there lead. The three commanders can communicate through the most high tech communication devices know to humans and apes.
Roy: That's...nice….
Falcon: Pikaforces, attack!
Pikaforce1,2,3:ch,pi-pika,ch
back at security station
Falcon: It will only be a matter of time, just you wait.
Roy: But what will they do when they find him?
Falcon: Well, first they will try to restrain him using the tranquilizer guns mounted on there heads, and if that doesn't work, they will restrain him with a shotgun.
Roy: Oh, ok... wait, what was that last part!
pikaforce1:ch,pi-pi-pka-pika-pikachu(sir the first line has been breached, this fool is ether a genius or a psycho!)
Falcon: Hm, that's strange.
Roy: What did he say?
Falcon: He said that every thing is fine.
Pikaforce2:ch,PIKACHU-PI-PI-PIKA-PI-PIKACHU!(OH GOD HES BROKEN THROUGH THE SECOND LINE, NEARLY A THOUSEND OF OUR MEN ARE DOWN!)
Falcon: N-no way!
Roy: What!
Falcon: NOTHING!
Pikaforce3:ch,PIKACHU-PIKACHU-PI-PI-PIKA-PIKACHU-PIKABLEGH,CH(OH MOTHER OF MERCY HE'S UNSTOPABLE! HE'S KILLED EVERY ONE! I'M THE LAST ONE LEFT! WH-N-NO-NOOOOOBLEGH!)
Falcon : In shock He...hes unhuman!
Roy: What happened?
Falcon: He's in the kitchen …

-In the kitchen-

Marth just woke up... again. Oh my head... what happened? Wait! It was that elf! Where's my sword!
at this time Link bust through the ceiling with pikachus hanging out his mouth and a half drunk jug of milk in his hand
Link:MMYYY MMIILLKKlooks at MarthYYOOUU CCAANNTT HHAAVVEE AANNYY!Lunges at Marth. Marth raises his sword and prepares
to fight
Marth: Die, foul beast!
The door opens suddenly and a smooth calming voice calls out. "Link..." Link dodges Marth's attack and goes in for his own, but the voice hits him and brings him back to reality.
Link:blinking Z-Zelda? turns around to see Zelda standing there.
Link: H-howd you get here?
Zelda: This young man told me you were causing trouble…(Roy's behind her grinning) so I came to pick you up.
Link: Oh, man…….. What happened? I can't remember anything! looks around and sees the death and desolation around him
Link: Oh…..oh God……. did I do this?
Marth: If only you knew...
Zelda: I-I think we should go Link….
Link: Okay….
Roy: Wait, come here Link! You to, Marth. This was our first helpful episode of Marth and Roy's kitchen.
Marth: What?
Roy: And we'd like to thank our special guest, Link, for showing us a, erm, wild time today.

Crowd: All dead

Marth: W-WHAT?
Roy: Thank you and good night people!

If you don't understand the whole concept of this, it's because in OoT, Link drank LOTS of Lon Lon milk and quite a bit of Ramani Ranch milk in Termina. Also, the younger part of Link in SSBM had a pose in which he basically pulled Lon Lon milk out of NOWHERE and chugged it down, so yeah. Some Zelda fans might recognize this at once, but then again, we are usually in our own little world

Lesson Two will be up very soon! Next we'll be featuring the Mario Brothers! YAY!